u/Odd_Juggernaut9961

Three years ago I started online dating. I came across this man. We were both the same age, 26yrs old back then.
He has never had a relationship before and I was the first girl to ever ask him out.
When we matched online I was the one texting him because he wouldn't but I thought that he came across grounded and calm via his pictures.
Texting was really difficult because he wouldn't reply with long paragraphs but only short messages. We would only talk about how we were and what we did that day and he would never text me first.
I still was really interested in him because he seemed cute and just really shy.
When we went on our first date I was asking the questions and just kept on talking about my life because he wouldn't say much. I went home crying after that date.
I kind of still felt like I was expecting too much and kept on going on more dates with him. I always thought that the ice would break and he would get out of his comfort zone.
He kind of did. He started talking about his work place and university seminars. But whenever he was talking he kept on talking really shyly and quietly as if he was scared of my reply. I asked questions about what he said so that the conversation would keep on going. He never replied straight away but took a long time to form answers in his head before answering. But that was it. After replying to my questions he would shut down and stop talking. So I kept on talking because if I hadn't there wouldn't have been any conversation any longer. So I had to come up with topics to talk about.
Whenever we were texting we would only talk about what happened on that day. When planning on meeting up he never came up with any ideas. I always had to plan the locations and the day to meet up. When he was planning dates he would just ask me "are you coming over to my place?" So I would go there. He was always really insecure and shy. He was questioning his every move and behavior to that point that I was questioning mine so that he wouldn't question himself... When I went over to his place we would sit down on his couch. He was being quiet not saying anything. So I started talking about whatever because I felt awkward about him knowing what to talk about. His replies were only "yeah...?" or "hmm" but wouldn't ask me any follow up questions or inserting his thoughts or own experiences that had something to do with what I was talking about. He told me that he was behaving around his three friends the same way he did with me. That he's just the chill guy. I told him how insecure it made me feel how he was never talking, that we never have anything to talk about, how I have to be the "bossy" one in the relationship having to work out date ideas and topics and how I don't want to be the one working out all plans and topics.
I'm not that extroverted either but I still always know what to talk about and being secure enough to talk about my interests and make decisions.
He told me that he was going on a date before getting to know me and how he still wasn't over her. Turns out they met once...
Whenever we hung out and went on little gathering or did something sportly like bowling, it was due to me deciding on going there. He never came uo with anything. He would tell me in a few sentences what he has been up to the days we hadn't seen each other. Then I would take over the lead and talk my head off about what I had been doing and random stuff because he couldn't open his mouth.
Outside he was really shy and I had to ask for a table at a restaurant because he "liked the partner to take the lead".
He once bought a birthday present for his dad. He was standing at the checkout paying for it. He was asked if wants the cashier to wrap the present. He was standing there not saying anything thinking. He two cashiers were looking at each other because he didn't reply. He then said yes. When leaving the store he told me happily how he didn't actually need them to wrap it because he was going to wrap it anyway.
He told me how he needed me to be more sensual with him. How he wants more body contact, me telling him couple names, more holding hands and that I am not open enough even though I told him everything about my life and I didn't know anything about his because he was never talking.
He said that I never was looking for body contact because of my childhood trauma (I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old) and how I needed therapy.)
He loved listening to songs of the singer Olivia Rodrigo. She's five years younger than us, has brown hair, brown eyes. We watched her live performances and music videos when hanging out at his place. He always said how he loved her outifts. During her last tour she was wearing crop tops and really short shorts and only bralets and just really revealing outfits. I would say how revealing her clothes are and how I could never wear it and feel comfortable. His reply was always how amazing and stunning she looked and was sexualizing her.
What do you think about him?
I broke it up because I couldn't handle him never talking and me having to work out all date ideas.
He now started dating a new girl. Posting her everywhere. He never did that with me.
She has brown hair and brown eyes and they seem soo in love. He started dating her six months after our breakup. But when he was dating me he still wasn't over that blonde girl he dated even though he met up with her ONCE. How is he able to be in a relationship half a year after dating me for two years...

Three years ago I started online dating. I came across this man. We were both the same age, 26yrs old back then.
He has never had a relationship before and I was the first girl to ever ask him out.
When we matched online I was the one texting him because he wouldn't but I thought that he came across grounded and calm via his pictures.
Texting was really difficult because he wouldn't reply with long paragraphs but only short messages. We would only talk about how we were and what we did that day and he would never text me first.
I still was really interested in him because he seemed cute and just really shy.
When we went on our first date I was asking the questions and just kept on talking about my life because he wouldn't say much. I went home crying after that date.
I kind of still felt like I was expecting too much and kept on going on more dates with him. I always thought that the ice would break and he would get out of his comfort zone.
He kind of did. He started talking about his work place and university seminars. But whenever he was talking he kept on talking really shyly and quietly as if he was scared of my reply. I asked questions about what he said so that the conversation would keep on going. He never replied straight away but took a long time to form answers in his head before answering. But that was it. After replying to my questions he would shut down and stop talking. So I kept on talking because if I hadn't there wouldn't have been any conversation any longer. So I had to come up with topics to talk about.
Whenever we were texting we would only talk about what happened on that day. When planning on meeting up he never came up with any ideas. I always had to plan the locations and the day to meet up. When he was planning dates he would just ask me "are you coming over to my place?" So I would go there. He was always really insecure and shy. He was questioning his every move and behavior to that point that I was questioning mine so that he wouldn't question himself... When I went over to his place we would sit down on his couch. He was being quiet not saying anything. So I started talking about whatever because I felt awkward about him knowing what to talk about. His replies were only "yeah...?" or "hmm" but wouldn't ask me any follow up questions or inserting his thoughts or own experiences that had something to do with what I was talking about. He told me that he was behaving around his three friends the same way he did with me. That he's just the chill guy. I told him how insecure it made me feel how he was never talking, that we never have anything to talk about, how I have to be the "bossy" one in the relationship having to work out date ideas and topics and how I don't want to be the one working out all plans and topics.
I'm not that extroverted either but I still always know what to talk about and being secure enough to talk about my interests and make decisions.
He told me that he was going on a date before getting to know me and how he still wasn't over her. Turns out they met once...
Whenever we hung out and went on little gathering or did something sportly like bowling, it was due to me deciding on going there. He never came uo with anything. He would tell me in a few sentences what he has been up to the days we hadn't seen each other. Then I would take over the lead and talk my head off about what I had been doing and random stuff because he couldn't open his mouth.
Outside he was really shy and I had to ask for a table at a restaurant because he "liked the partner to take the lead".
He once bought a birthday present for his dad. He was standing at the checkout paying for it. He was asked if wants the cashier to wrap the present. He was standing there not saying anything thinking. He two cashiers were looking at each other because he didn't reply. He then said yes. When leaving the store he told me happily how he didn't actually need them to wrap it because he was going to wrap it anyway.
He told me how he needed me to be more sensual with him. How he wants more body contact, me telling him couple names, more holding hands and that I am not open enough even though I told him everything about my life and I didn't know anything about his because he was never talking.
He said that I never was looking for body contact because of my childhood trauma (I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old) and how I needed therapy.)
He loved listening to songs of the singer Olivia Rodrigo. She's five years younger than us, has brown hair, brown eyes. We watched her live performances and music videos when hanging out at his place. He always said how he loved her outifts. During her last tour she was wearing crop tops and really short shorts and only bralets and just really revealing outfits. I would say how revealing her clothes are and how I could never wear it and feel comfortable. His reply was always how amazing and stunning she looked and was sexualizing her.
What do you think about him?
I broke it up because I couldn't handle him never talking and me having to work out all date ideas.
He now started dating a new girl. Posting her everywhere. He never did that with me.
She has brown hair and brown eyes and they seem soo in love. He started dating her six months after our breakup. But when he was dating me he still wasn't over that blonde girl he dated even though he met up with her ONCE. How is he able to be in a relationship half a year after dating me for two years...

Three years ago I started online dating. I came across this man. We were both the same age, 26yrs old back then.
He has never had a relationship before and I was the first girl to ever ask him out.
When we matched online I was the one texting him because he wouldn't but I thought that he came across grounded and calm via his pictures.
Texting was really difficult because he wouldn't reply with long paragraphs but only short messages. We would only talk about how we were and what we did that day and he would never text me first.
I still was really interested in him because he seemed cute and just really shy.
When we went on our first date I was asking the questions and just kept on talking about my life because he wouldn't say much. I went home crying after that date.
I kind of still felt like I was expecting too much and kept on going on more dates with him. I always thought that the ice would break and he would get out of his comfort zone.
He kind of did. He started talking about his work place and university seminars. But whenever he was talking he kept on talking really shyly and quietly as if he was scared of my reply. I asked questions about what he said so that the conversation would keep on going. He never replied straight away but took a long time to form answers in his head before answering. But that was it. After replying to my questions he would shut down and stop talking. So I kept on talking because if I hadn't there wouldn't have been any conversation any longer. So I had to come up with topics to talk about.
Whenever we were texting we would only talk about what happened on that day. When planning on meeting up he never came up with any ideas. I always had to plan the locations and the day to meet up. When he was planning dates he would just ask me "are you coming over to my place?" So I would go there. He was always really insecure and shy. He was questioning his every move and behavior to that point that I was questioning mine so that he wouldn't question himself... When I went over to his place we would sit down on his couch. He was being quiet not saying anything. So I started talking about whatever because I felt awkward about him knowing what to talk about. His replies were only "yeah...?" or "hmm" but wouldn't ask me any follow up questions or inserting his thoughts or own experiences that had something to do with what I was talking about. He told me that he was behaving around his three friends the same way he did with me. That he's just the chill guy. I told him how insecure it made me feel how he was never talking, that we never have anything to talk about, how I have to be the "bossy" one in the relationship having to work out date ideas and topics and how I don't want to be the one working out all plans and topics.
I'm not that extroverted either but I still always know what to talk about and being secure enough to talk about my interests and make decisions.
He told me that he was going on a date before getting to know me and how he still wasn't over her. Turns out they met once...
Whenever we hung out and went on little gathering or did something sportly like bowling, it was due to me deciding on going there. He never came uo with anything. He would tell me in a few sentences what he has been up to the days we hadn't seen each other. Then I would take over the lead and talk my head off about what I had been doing and random stuff because he couldn't open his mouth.
Outside he was really shy and I had to ask for a table at a restaurant because he "liked the partner to take the lead".
He once bought a birthday present for his dad. He was standing at the checkout paying for it. He was asked if wants the cashier to wrap the present. He was standing there not saying anything thinking. He two cashiers were looking at each other because he didn't reply. He then said yes. When leaving the store he told me happily how he didn't actually need them to wrap it because he was going to wrap it anyway.
He told me how he needed me to be more sensual with him. How he wants more body contact, me telling him couple names, more holding hands and that I am not open enough even though I told him everything about my life and I didn't know anything about his because he was never talking.
He said that I never was looking for body contact because of my childhood trauma (I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old) and how I needed therapy.)
He loved listening to songs of the singer Olivia Rodrigo. She's five years younger than us, has brown hair, brown eyes. We watched her live performances and music videos when hanging out at his place. He always said how he loved her outifts. During her last tour she was wearing crop tops and really short shorts and only bralets and just really revealing outfits. I would say how revealing her clothes are and how I could never wear it and feel comfortable. His reply was always how amazing and stunning she looked and was sexualizing her.
What do you think about him?
I broke it up because I couldn't handle him never talking and me having to work out all date ideas.
He now started dating a new girl. Posting her everywhere. He never did that with me.
She has brown hair and brown eyes and they seem soo in love. He started dating her six months after our breakup. But when he was dating me he still wasn't over that blonde girl he dated even though he met up with her ONCE. How is he able to be in a relationship half a year after dating me for two years...

Three years ago I started online dating. I came across this man. We were both the same age, 26yrs old back then.
He has never had a relationship before and I was the first girl to ever ask him out.
When we matched online I was the one texting him because he wouldn't but I thought that he came across grounded and calm via his pictures.
Texting was really difficult because he wouldn't reply with long paragraphs but only short messages. We would only talk about how we were and what we did that day and he would never text me first.
I still was really interested in him because he seemed cute and just really shy.
When we went on our first date I was asking the questions and just kept on talking about my life because he wouldn't say much. I went home crying after that date.
I kind of still felt like I was expecting too much and kept on going on more dates with him. I always thought that the ice would break and he would get out of his comfort zone.
He kind of did. He started talking about his work place and university seminars. But whenever he was talking he kept on talking really shyly and quietly as if he was scared of my reply. I asked questions about what he said so that the conversation would keep on going. He never replied straight away but took a long time to form answers in his head before answering. But that was it. After replying to my questions he would shut down and stop talking. So I kept on talking because if I hadn't there wouldn't have been any conversation any longer. So I had to come up with topics to talk about.
Whenever we were texting we would only talk about what happened on that day. When planning on meeting up he never came up with any ideas. I always had to plan the locations and the day to meet up. When he was planning dates he would just ask me "are you coming over to my place?" So I would go there. He was always really insecure and shy. He was questioning his every move and behavior to that point that I was questioning mine so that he wouldn't question himself... When I went over to his place we would sit down on his couch. He was being quiet not saying anything. So I started talking about whatever because I felt awkward about him knowing what to talk about. His replies were only "yeah...?" or "hmm" but wouldn't ask me any follow up questions or inserting his thoughts or own experiences that had something to do with what I was talking about. He told me that he was behaving around his three friends the same way he did with me. That he's just the chill guy. I told him how insecure it made me feel how he was never talking, that we never have anything to talk about, how I have to be the "bossy" one in the relationship having to work out date ideas and topics and how I don't want to be the one working out all plans and topics.
I'm not that extroverted either but I still always know what to talk about and being secure enough to talk about my interests and make decisions.
He told me that he was going on a date before getting to know me and how he still wasn't over her. Turns out they met once...
Whenever we hung out and went on little gathering or did something sportly like bowling, it was due to me deciding on going there. He never came uo with anything. He would tell me in a few sentences what he has been up to the days we hadn't seen each other. Then I would take over the lead and talk my head off about what I had been doing and random stuff because he couldn't open his mouth.
Outside he was really shy and I had to ask for a table at a restaurant because he "liked the partner to take the lead".
He once bought a birthday present for his dad. He was standing at the checkout paying for it. He was asked if wants the cashier to wrap the present. He was standing there not saying anything thinking. He two cashiers were looking at each other because he didn't reply. He then said yes. When leaving the store he told me happily how he didn't actually need them to wrap it because he was going to wrap it anyway.
He told me how he needed me to be more sensual with him. How he wants more body contact, me telling him couple names, more holding hands and that I am not open enough even though I told him everything about my life and I didn't know anything about his because he was never talking.
He said that I never was looking for body contact because of my childhood trauma (I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old) and how I needed therapy.)
He loved listening to songs of the singer Olivia Rodrigo. She's five years younger than us, has brown hair, brown eyes. We watched her live performances and music videos when hanging out at his place. He always said how he loved her outifts. During her last tour she was wearing crop tops and really short shorts and only bralets and just really revealing outfits. I would say how revealing her clothes are and how I could never wear it and feel comfortable. His reply was always how amazing and stunning she looked and was sexualizing her.
What do you think about him?
I broke it up because I couldn't handle him never talking and me having to work out all date ideas.
He now started dating a new girl. Posting her everywhere. He never did that with me.
She has brown hair and brown eyes and they seem soo in love. He started dating her six months after our breakup. But when he was dating me he still wasn't over that blonde girl he dated even though he met up with her ONCE. How is he able to be in a relationship half a year after dating me for two years...

Three years ago I started online dating. I came across this man. We were both the same age, 26yrs old back then.
He has never had a relationship before and I was the first girl to ever ask him out.
When we matched online I was the one texting him because he wouldn't but I thought that he came across grounded and calm via his pictures.
Texting was really difficult because he wouldn't reply with long paragraphs but only short messages. We would only talk about how we were and what we did that day and he would never text me first.
I still was really interested in him because he seemed cute and just really shy.
When we went on our first date I was asking the questions and just kept on talking about my life because he wouldn't say much. I went home crying after that date.
I kind of still felt like I was expecting too much and kept on going on more dates with him. I always thought that the ice would break and he would get out of his comfort zone.
He kind of did. He started talking about his work place and university seminars. But whenever he was talking he kept on talking really shyly and quietly as if he was scared of my reply. I asked questions about what he said so that the conversation would keep on going. He never replied straight away but took a long time to form answers in his head before answering. But that was it. After replying to my questions he would shut down and stop talking. So I kept on talking because if I hadn't there wouldn't have been any conversation any longer. So I had to come up with topics to talk about.
Whenever we were texting we would only talk about what happened on that day. When planning on meeting up he never came up with any ideas. I always had to plan the locations and the day to meet up. When he was planning dates he would just ask me "are you coming over to my place?" So I would go there. He was always really insecure and shy. He was questioning his every move and behavior to that point that I was questioning mine so that he wouldn't question himself... When I went over to his place we would sit down on his couch. He was being quiet not saying anything. So I started talking about whatever because I felt awkward about him knowing what to talk about. His replies were only "yeah...?" or "hmm" but wouldn't ask me any follow up questions or inserting his thoughts or own experiences that had something to do with what I was talking about. He told me that he was behaving around his three friends the same way he did with me. That he's just the chill guy. I told him how insecure it made me feel how he was never talking, that we never have anything to talk about, how I have to be the "bossy" one in the relationship having to work out date ideas and topics and how I don't want to be the one working out all plans and topics.
I'm not that extroverted either but I still always know what to talk about and being secure enough to talk about my interests and make decisions.
He told me that he was going on a date before getting to know me and how he still wasn't over her. Turns out they met once...
Whenever we hung out and went on little gathering or did something sportly like bowling, it was due to me deciding on going there. He never came uo with anything. He would tell me in a few sentences what he has been up to the days we hadn't seen each other. Then I would take over the lead and talk my head off about what I had been doing and random stuff because he couldn't open his mouth.
Outside he was really shy and I had to ask for a table at a restaurant because he "liked the partner to take the lead".
He once bought a birthday present for his dad. He was standing at the checkout paying for it. He was asked if wants the cashier to wrap the present. He was standing there not saying anything thinking. He two cashiers were looking at each other because he didn't reply. He then said yes. When leaving the store he told me happily how he didn't actually need them to wrap it because he was going to wrap it anyway.
He told me how he needed me to be more sensual with him. How he wants more body contact, me telling him couple names, more holding hands and that I am not open enough even though I told him everything about my life and I didn't know anything about his because he was never talking.
He said that I never was looking for body contact because of my childhood trauma (I was sexually abused when I was 10 years old) and how I needed therapy.)
He loved listening to songs of the singer Olivia Rodrigo. She's five years younger than us, has brown hair, brown eyes. We watched her live performances and music videos when hanging out at his place. He always said how he loved her outifts. During her last tour she was wearing crop tops and really short shorts and only bralets and just really revealing outfits. I would say how revealing her clothes are and how I could never wear it and feel comfortable. His reply was always how amazing and stunning she looked and was sexualizing her.
What do you think about him?
I broke it up because I couldn't handle him never talking and me having to work out all date ideas.
He now started dating a new girl. Posting her everywhere. He never did that with me.
She has brown hair and brown eyes and they seem soo in love. He started dating her six months after our breakup. But when he was dating me he still wasn't over that blonde girl he dated even though he met up with her ONCE. How is he able to be in a relationship half a year after dating me for two years...

Ich habe 2023 angefangen jemanden zu daten (m26). Er hatte zuvor noch nie eine Freundin. Wir haben uns online kennengelernt. Ich schrieb ihn damals an und nur deshalb kamen wir in Kontakt.
Wir gingen auf mehrere Dates, die ich immer geplant habe. Ich fragte immer nach der Uhrzeit und dem Ort und dann gingen wir auf diese Dates. Wenn er Dates plante, fragte er, ob ich zu ihm komme. Oder wir trafen uns in der Unimensa zum Mittagessen.

Ich fand ihn optisch richtig süß. Er hatte große runde grüne Augen, rote Haare, war groß. Aber auch echt schüchtern.
Wenn wir uns zum Beispiel bei ihm trafen kam ich an, wir setzten uns auf die Couch und keiner redete. Ich fing dann an zu erzählen, was in letzter Zeit passiert ist, seit wir uns das letzte mal gesehen hatten. Er hörte zu und lächelte und sagte immer "hmm", "jaa...", aver fragte nie genauer nach oder gab keine Kommentare. Wir hatten nichts zu reden außer wenn ich es initiierte. Er erzählte schon von der Arbeit oder Uni, aber so ganz vorsichtig und leise. Ich fragte immer wieder nach oder sagte etwas und er ging darauf ein, brauchte aber immer ewig, bis er eine Antwort formte.

Wir gingen oft auf Flohmärkte, ins Kino, Billiardspielen. Dort redeten wir dann über den Moment an sich, also zB, was wir am Flohmarkt gerade sahen. Gingen wir aber spazieren hatten wir keine Themen mehr, also sagte ich immer irgendwas, was mir gerade einfiel, weil von ihm gar nichts kam.
Ich bin eigentlich ein Wassermann und liebe Gesprächsthemen über wortwörtlich Gott und die Welt. Ich philosophiere gerne rum, mach mir Gedanken über Übernatürliches und habe immer irgendwelche Gedanken und Ideen im Kopf. Ich konnte sie ihm erzählen, ohne, dass er mich dafür verurteilt hätte. Aber er redete nie mit. Er sagte nur "hmm" oder antwortete gar nicht. Ich liebe es eigentlich solche Gespräche zu haben und dann hin und her seine Gedanken zu teilen.

Bei ihm zuhause zB fragte ich ihn öfters über persönliche Dinge. Seine Schulzeit, Kindheit, Familie. Es scheint ihm aber peinlich zu sein und er erzählte immer nur kurz davon und dann verstummte das Thema wieder. Ich sagte zB, dass es bei mir ähnlich war oder so und dann war das Thema aber vorbei.

Ich sagte ihm, dass ich mich fühle, als würde ich die Beziehung in der Hand haben und ich das nicht will, weil ich alles regeln und planen muss und die Gespräche leite. Er meinte er ist "halt der chillige Typ" und mag es, wenn andere das für ihn machen.

Ich hatte lange Zeit eine Essstörung und einmal waren wir bei ihm und frühstückten. Ich machte mein Essen und er sagte "so viel?", als ich gerade dabei war mein Porridge zu machen. Ich fühlte mich getriggert und war kurz vorm Weinen. Er machte sein Essen fertig, ging nicht auf mich ein, sagte nichts zu dem Thema mehr und schwieg bis ich irgendwann selbst wieder redete und so tat als wäre nie was passiert.

Bei Dates war er immer zu spät. Zwar höchstens 10min, aber ich selbst schaffte es ja auch pünktlich zu sein...

Ich fand ihn süß wegen seinem Aussehen und weil er so mysteriös rüberkam. Er konnte sich aber nicht öffnen.
Ich wusste eigentlich zurückblickend nicht viel von ihm, weil er immer mich reden ließ.

Er meinte, dass er ein Überdenker ist und wenn es ihm schlecht geht, dass er dann eine Woche nicht aus dem Bett kommt. Mir erzählte er aber nie, wenn es ihm schlecht ging oder er sich Gedanken über irgendwas machte.
Außer ich fragte, ob alles okay ist. Dann sagte er in einem Satz, was los ist. Aber trotzdem sehr vage.

Auf seinem Tinderprofil waren seine Photos ältere. Auf denen war er so 22 Jahre alt. Auf denen sah er viel jünger aus, hatte noch keine Brille. In Echt, wenn man ihn traf war er viel älter, hatte eben eine Brille und war nicht so schlank.

Ich hab ihn aber trotzdem geliebt, weil er kein typischer Mann war, der nur am prahlen war.

Ich fühlte mich aber so alleine in der Beziehung. Er redete kaum. Wenn nur über die Uni oder Arbeit anstatt über tiefere Themen, er machte keine Pläne, war richtig unsicher.

Wenn wir essen gingen musste ich nach einem freien Tisch fragen, weil er zu schüchtern war.
Einmal kaufte er ein Geschenk zum Geburtstag von seinem Dad. Die Verkäufer fragten ihm, ob sie das Geschenk gleich einpacken sollen. Er stand da - regungslos - sagte nichts. Erst nach längerer Zeit sagte er "ja" ganz vorsichtig. Als wir aus dem Laden rauskamen sagte er, dass sie es nicht hätten einpacken müssen, weil er es eh gemacht hätte. Er konnte nie seine Meinung sagen.

Wir gingen einmal durch die Stadt und bummelten. Bei bestimmten Läden schaute er auf den Namen, schaute in die Richtung vom Laden, aber sagte nichts, bis ich fragte, ob er in den Laden schauen will und er ja sagte.

Wir kochten einmal Wraps und ich war schon fertig meinen zu füllen. Er war noch nicht so weit. Es blieb ein bisschen Paprika übrig. Er stand da, schaute auf die Paprika ohne sas zu sagen. Einfach wie angewurzelt stand er da, sagte nichts, fragte nichts. Das ging einige Zeit, bis er sich entschloss die Paprika einfach liegen zu lassen.

Zu Ostern färbten wir Ostereier. Wir redeten wieder null. Wir waren an dem Tag bei mir in der Wohnung. Ungefragt ging er zu meiner Speisekammer, holte sich eine Flasche Weißwein und begann sie zu trinken. Sie war dann halb leer und da fing er dann an gesprächig zu werden und dumme Kommentare zu geben. Davor brachte er kein Wort raus. Ich schmiss ihn aus meiner Wohnung, weil ich keine Lust mehr auf seine eklige betrunkene Art hatte.

Hätte es zwischen ihm und mir funktioniert, wenn ich geduldiger und akzeptierender gewesen wäre? Hab ich zu viel erwartet?

I met this guy online. I has to text him because he wouldn't. He wasn't talkative via text but I still asked him out because I thought he was cute. I arranged the spot where to meet and time. At the said time and place I was waiting for him to arrive. We texted because I didn't see hin. Turns out he arrived at the wrong spot. He didn't say anything about him walking over to where I'm standing at that moment - I had to walk over to where he was because he didn't bother. On his pictures online he looked way younger. He was using pictures from when he was like 23. In person he looked quite differently and mature and was wearing glasses. He is 28.
At the restaurant table he was listening to me talking, smiling big and just saying "yes...?" every know and then. He didn't ask questions, was only shyly responding to mine.
I went home crying and thinking that I will never find the right person for me.
Am i petty?

I met this guy online. I has to text him because he wouldn't. He wasn't talkative via text but I still asked him out because I thought he was cute. I arranged the spot where to meet and time. At the said time and place I was waiting for him to arrive. We texted because I didn't see hin. Turns out he arrived at the wrong spot. He didn't say anything about him walking over to where I'm standing at that moment - I had to walk over to where he was because he didn't bother. On his pictures online he looked way younger. He was using pictures from when he was like 23. In person he looked quite differently and mature and was wearing glasses. He is 28.
At the restaurant table he was listening to me talking, smiling big and just saying "yes...?" every know and then. He didn't ask questions, was only shyly responding to mine.
I went home crying and thinking that I will never find the right person for me.
Am i petty?

I was dating this really really shy and insecure guy (28yrs) that was barely talking and really quiet and shy.
When we met he talked about a girl we was seeing before him and I went on our first date. Some blonde girl.
He told me that he still wasn't over her. He has known her like a few months prior to me. The weird part about it: They had only went on ONE date!! And he still struggled to get over her.
Him and I had been dating from 2023 to april of last year.
Six months after the breakup (I broke up with him because I was never able to communicate with him because he would never talk and let me in on his thoughts and feelings and just day to day life) he started dating some other girl.
She has brown hair, brown eyes, I'm blonde with brown eyes.
They have now been officially dating since april. He posted her on instagram and his profile picture on whatsapp is a picture of them together holding hands.
He never posted anything with me when we were together.
He never mentioned me to his friends or mom.
I feel like a lost an opportunity and if I had been replaced.

I'm F29 and he's M29 turning 30 soon.
I met him online. I initiated the conversation because he didn't text me first which I usually like if the man starts the conversation. Whenever we'd meet I would start off a topic. He never engaged much. Just replied with "yeah...", "hmm..." but said when asked that he enjoyed talking to me and we would always have conversations going on. He would plan dates by texting me if I want to come over to his place. There, we would just sit on his couch hugging. We would only talk if I said something first. Whenever I asked him things about himself he would take a long time before replying and only give short answers. If he started a conversation he would be really nervous and talk about work or uni. I would ask about things related to what he had just said and his answers would also be really cut short.
I talked to him about him being so quiet and insecure. He replied that he's not insecure but that he's just a "chill guy".
Out in public he would be really socially awkward in situations not that deep.
He would even be socially awkward with me about the simplest stuff.

For example: Out and about: He was buying a birthday present for his dad. The lady at the checkout was asking him if he wants her to wrap the present. He just stood there not replying and only replying after like have a minute. Only then he said yes.
After leaving the store he told me that he didnt need her to wrap it bc he's going to wrap it anyway but it looks nice now that she wrapped it.
He was too insecure to order a table for us
Was too insecure to order his food
stuff like that

At home: we were cooking and he was done cutting up the veggies. He didnt know where to put the spare veggies we didn't use. I was already sitting down at the table. So he just stood there. Not saying or asking anything. Just starring at the veggies not knowing what to do. He then left them sitting on the counter.
He would always look up while doing something to look at my reaction and if I was potentially judging him.
He would laugh awkwardly when he didn't know what to do.

We've known each other for two years until april of last year

Is it normal to behave like that at his age?
Did I end the relationship because I was too impatient and judging him for his ways?

Als wir uns kennenlernten waren wir beide 26 Jahre alt.
Wir trafen uns 2023 als wir uns online kennengelernt hatten.
Von außen hin fand ich ihn richtig süß. Er hatte ein wenig längere Haare, grüne Augen, rote Haare und ein richtig süßes Gesicht.
Er hatte zuvor noch nie jemanden gedatet.

Immer, wenn wir uns trafen gingen wir an der Donau spazieren, gingen durch die Stadt oder zB auf die Dult.
Er war immer richtig schüchtern und vorsichtig dabei. Er sagte nie seine eigene Meinung, wenn es darum geht, wo wir hingehen und er orientierte sich immer an mir. Er konnte als wir in der Sonne an der Donau saßen nicht zugeben, dass ihm zu heiß war und wir in den Schatten gehen, sondern ich sah, dass er eigentlich schon einen Sonnbrand hatte und wir in den Schatten gehen sollten.
Bei allen Dateideen sagte ich immer an, wo wir hingehen, weil er keine Pläne vorschlug.
Ich fand ihn halt immer süß und mochte irgendwo seine ruhige Art, aber ich wurde selbst verunsichert, weil er so unsicher war. Er war innerhalb der ersten sieben Dates aber der, der zweimal einen Kuss initiierte. Nach zwei Monaten, die wie uns kannten legte er den Arm um meine Hüfte, als wir ratschen und an der Donau saßen.
Wir verloren den Kontakt zueinander, weil wir gegenseitig nicht mehr über Whatsapp miteinander geschrieben hatten.
Im Mai 2024 wollte ich allem nochmal eine Chance geben, weil ich ihn ja eigentlich süß fand.
Wir trafen uns öfter an der Universität und gingen in der Mensa essen. Wir hatten aber nie tiefe Gespräche, obwohl er immer sagte, dass uns nie die Gespräche ausgehen.
Es lief aber immer so ab, dass wir uns trafen, er schwieg und fragte oder sagte nichts und ich fing an irgendein Gesprächsthema einzuwerfen, damit nicht diese Stille herrscht. Seine Antworten auf meine Themen waren immer nur ein unsicheres und verschmitztes "hmm" oder "jaa". Er selbst redete wenn dann von der Arbeit oder Uni. Aber ganz vorsichtig und kurz angebunden. Ich stellte immer Rückfragen. Bevor er Antworten brachte bestand immer ein ganz langes Zögern bei ihm und dann kam erst eine Antwort.
Ich wusste, dass er mich liebt, weil wir uns gegenseitig immer anstrahlten. Er erzählte aber nie etwas von sich selbst außer, wenn man direkt nachfragte und nachhakte.
Wir sprachen darüber, dass es mich verunsichert, wenn ich ständig die Person bin, die Dates planen muss und auf Ideen kommt und die das Gespräch anleiten muss, weil von ihm sonst nicht viel kommen würde. Er meinte, dass das noch kommt.
Er taute zu dem Punkt auf, dass er schon von der Arbeit und Uni wieder erzählte, aber dabei ganz vorsichtig redete. Er wirkte dabei wie ein Schüler aus meiner Perspektive, der in der Schule im Unterricht ausgefragt wird.
Er erzählte Sachen, aber wirkte immer ganz eingeschüchtert dabei. Er fragte mich nichts und über Persönliches redete er nur, wenn ich ihn gezielt dazu fragte.
Ich mochte an ihm aber, wie er mir zuhörte, wenn ich über meine Sorgen und Gedanken erzählte. Er brachte zwar nie große Ratschläge und Antworten, aber er war da für mich und ich konnte sagen, was ich wollte, ohne, dass er mich dafür verurteilen würde.
Wenn wir in Restaurants gingen musste ich nach einem Tisch fragen, weil er sich nicht traute. Wenn wir an der Kasse standen und er etwas bezahlte und die Kassierer eine Frage stellte zögerte er wieder ewig mit seiner Antwort bis er etwas sagen konnte.
Er meinte, dass er halt der "chillige" Typ ist und es mag, wenn andere etwas für ihn machen.
Er lud an Wochenenden seine Mom zu ihm ein und ich dachte, sie gehen dann in die Stadt zum Essen - er lud sie ein, damit sie bei ihm putzt.
Wir waren eigentlich zusammen, aber zum Schluss hin merkte ich, dass er das nicht so offiziell sah. Ich redete trotz allem, was mich an der Beziehung belastete übers Heiraten und Kinder. Ich hatte immer die Hoffnung, dass alles noch lockerer wird. Dass er mehr aus sich raus geht und über sich redet und auch der Redefluss zwischen und einfacher wird. Er meinte dann aber immer "deine Kinder". Also gab er mir schon unterschwellig Zeichen, dass ich nicht die richtige bin.
Es blieb so bis zum Schluss, dass ich Dates plante, das Gespräch anleitete, weil er nichts fragte, erzählte oder nachhakte und ich alle fünf Minuten neue Gesprächsthemen einleiten musste, weil wir keinen Redefluss hatten und ich dachte, wenn ich ein Thema wähle, bei dem er besser mitreden kann, dass er dann auch mehr ins Thema einsteigt.
Zum Geburtstag bekam ich eine Schuhbox mit einer Karte mit einem Satz drinnen und das zusammengebastelte Spielzeug aus einem Überraschungsei.
Es herrschte meistens Stille außer ich erzählte irgendwas bis mir selbst die Themen ausgingen, weil er nicht mit einstieg und nur lachte oder knapp antwortete.
Ich fand ihn eigentlich richtig süß und ich mochte wie gut wir äußerlich zusammenpassten.
Er war richtig süß und ich mochte die ruhige Ausstrahlung.
Ich hätte mir nur immer gewünscht, dass auch von ihm mehr gekommen wäre, weil ich dad Gefühl hatte, dass ich mehr in die Beziehung lege als er.
Mittlerweile war ich mir aber nicht mehr sicher, ob er einfach mehr Zeit gebraucht hätte und ich der Tyrann war, der nicht lange genug gewartet hat oder ob er sich nie entwickelt hätte...
Letztes Jahr im April beendete ich die Beziehung, weil ich merkte, wie unglücklich ich war. Ich war müde. Weil ich alles vorantreiben musste. Bin aber mittlerweile hin- und hergerissen, ob alles noch besser geworden wäre und ich ein Egoist ist, der nicht zufrieden ist mit dem, was er hat