u/OffbeatVector_

So... When I (18M) was in class 11th, I started preparing for JEE online... Through that I became friends with this guy...

We never met each other in real life and we live very far from each other....

We became close friends over time... He was always less active than me, however I was much better academically... We used to have conversations that would actually feel really good and made me feel less lonely during this tiring JEE preparation journey...

But sometimes he would bring on material stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with what we are connected for....

For example "how much is your \[some stationary\]?" or "how big is your house?" etc...

He would always try to show off his belongings as he's kinda rich and I am not, although he never explicitly expresses that, I always felt it.

Also he would always ask me for help regarding studies and me being way too simple always end up helping, but whenever I ask for any help or even say something like "I haven't been able to study today" he'd see that message and say nothing...

Please note that we never had a enemy like vibe between us, especially from my side, I always thought him as a brother of mine but I probably chose the wrong person once again...

So finally yesterday I sent him a voice note that was something like this :

"Whenever I talk to you, I feel this vibe of a superiority and inferiority complex, and things often get way too materialistic. My mindset is different; I value genuine connections and mutual respect far more than anything material.

I get close to people who don't judge me and who let me be entirely myself. But with us, there's always this gloomy vibe, and I feel like I'm constantly being judged.

With my other friends, we can give each other constructive criticism or say the harshest things, and everything stays mild and completely fine between us. But you take things in a really harsh manner, and I always forget that boundary with you.

Because we don't align, I've had to maintain a completely different personality just for you, which is exhausting. I find myself overthinking every text, constantly deleting messages from our chat because I'm afraid you'll take them the wrong way. It stops me from being real.

I'm not saying this to be negative, but I need to set a boundary. I've realized that some people's bubbles just don't overlap. It took me a long time to finally see it and say it out loud, but it's just the truth, and it's completely fine."

I didn't say directly that I don't want to keep this friendship anymore, because that's probably not what I want to do and completely being disconnected would probably feel too empty for me only because I have good memories with this friend and somehow I haven't been able to block him either.🙂

My life sucks...

I was born in a middle class dead ass background and on top of it I had always been good in studies... So never actually experienced any of those things normal teenagers do...

I live in a dead ass small suburban town, close enough to tell my distant friends that I live "near kolkata" but man!!

My life is like so fucking dull... All my school friends are ALWAYS hanging out whereas all I ever leave my room for is to go to write JEE and come back home...

When I see people on this sub enjoying themselves, I feel this shitass hatred towards my own place for being so close yet so far from Kolkata, especially the life...

I fucked up in this life but I really wanna change things and for my own good, start enjoying a bit 🥀

I know nobody would be as cooked as to be in a similar situation as me but still if anyone is, I'd like to have a talk, so please dm

My life sucks...

I was born in a middle class dead ass background and on top of it I had always been good in studies...

I live in a dead ass small suburban town, close enough to tell my distant friends that I live "near kolkata" but man!!

My life is like so fucking dull... All my school friends are ALWAYS hanging out whereas all I ever leave my room for is to go to write JEE and come back home...

When I see people on this sub enjoying themselves, I feel this shitass hatred towards my own place for being so close yet so far from Kolkata, especially the life...

I fucked up in this life but I really wanna change things and for my own good, start enjoying a bit 🥀

I know nobody would be as cooked as to be in a similar situation as me but still if anyone is, I'd like to have a talk, so please dm

Haven't seen this new district thing ever around me so I'm curious, how long...

I pasted a few papers on this textured wall. Never really had any problems with the adhesion, but the other day I pasted a periodic table that literally glares to light and looks bad because of the uneven surface underneath....

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Looking for a long term solution (if possible without completely transforming the wall because I kind of like this, and not a big fan of smooth walls)

In the confirmation page it was OBC as well but in rank card it became general... HOW TF