u/Ok_Pair140

I haven’t seen anyone friends of mine (maybe they aren’t friends anymore) in the past 2-3 years.

In 2023 I made a big shift, I wanted to change fully who I was as a person. I didn’t like the man that I was. So since that point on I’ve just been grinding… Did a full career change (not making as much money as I used too) and have been working on losing weight so I can be more presentable.

I had an old buddy reach out to me and ask me why I never go out. I explained to him that I’m embarrassed about the level of success I have had in my life.

Most of my old buddies all make 6+ figures, come from wealthy families, and date pretty women. I’m my current life I just don’t compare at all, I don’t think anyone wants to be around a loser… I only make 85k, and I don’t have anything really good about me. He obviously didn’t respond back to my rationale which is okay.

But yeah I’m just trying ti change myself to become an actual human being. I feel subhuman currently where I’m at.

27 years old just moved here for a job. Any advice or pointers would be appreciated.

I’m 29 year old male.

I was speaking with an old home girl of mine last week. Was telling her about the struggle with dating and the main thing she said was I have no “hobbies”. She doesn’t think my current life right now is suitable for dating.

I lift weights, game, work toward industry certs, fantasy football/ sports, I like going to new restaurants/ wineries concerts movies etc. and I grill steaks. Those are my hobbies/ what I love to do. I be chillin like a villain.

Is that not an appealing hobby profile to women? Anything I can change or maybe market myself better?

I’m finishing up my second year in IT. I am also going to be finishing up the RHCSA this month. I got my CCNA last year. Currently working as a Level 3 desktop support tech. I am interested in networking/ sys admin work.

Question for the sub is what should be next? How do I get to the next level?

My biggest concern is that my education is not in line with IT and I don’t know how much that is going to hurt me. I have my bachelors in PoliSci and a masters in Comm Management.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’m turning 30 next year and this last decade has been an absolute failure for me. Nothing good has happened except for lessons learned.

Was a student athlete in college, didn’t start a single game. After college moved into working sales. It was fine for a while, I was going to get promoted to management and then the company did a reorg… I ended up getting shafted because of that.

After that I decided to switch careers. I’m now in IT working as a jr sys admin. I make 85k a year and and working towards getting a new cert.

I need to lose weight but I find the food discipline hard. I spend all my time by myself. I’ve become depressed a little bit. I’m disciplined with the gym though I’m in there 5 days a week.

I have no friends or people that want me around besides my mother. Outside of work it’s just gym gaming and studying.

I’m genuinely embarrassed about myself and my lack of an achievement.

What do I need to do to figure things out? Anything helps!

I’m turning 30 next year and this last decade has been an absolute failure for me. Nothing good has happened except for lessons learned.

Was a student athlete in college, didn’t start a single game. After college moved into working sales. It was fine for a while, I was going to get promoted to management and then the company did a reorg… I ended up getting shafted because of that.

After that I decided to switch careers. I’m now in IT working as a jr sys admin. I make 85k a year and and working towards getting a new cert.

I need to lose weight but I find the food discipline hard. I spend all my time by myself. I’ve become depressed a little bit. I’m disciplined with the gym though I’m in there 5 days a week.

I have no friends or people that want me around besides my mother. Outside of work it’s just gym gaming and studying.

I’m genuinely embarrassed about myself and my lack of an achievement.

What do I need to do to figure things out? Anything helps!

Any success stories here? I moved into IT two years ago from sales. I’m a level 3 desktop support right now.I have my CCNA and RHCSA as I want to work toward ansible/ network automation work.

I am waiting on a clearance but it’s been like 1.5 years I don’t see it likely that will happen for me. Has anyone had success outside of government. I’m a little doom and gloom but I feel like I’m utterly screwed if I don’t get this clearance.

Male 29

Here is my current situation. Live on my own, transitioned into IT a few years ago. Make 85k a year , have my bachelors and masters degree. I’m working towards a career as a network/systems engineer. I was a college athlete and played at a big time program but didn’t start or have much of a career worth mention.

I spend all my time either at work, the gym, gaming or studying. That’s it that’s all.

I had a girlfriend a few years back but left her due to conflict about me changing my career lane. I lost all my friends I would hang out with due to that.

I don’t drink really anymore and no drugs at all. For whatever reason I am never able to make friends or date. No one really ever sticks. I feel like I still have good conversations but eventually they just go away or I notice they don’t reciprocate on reaching out first.

I am super fucking isolated and I don’t know how to fix it. It’s terrible… is there something wrong with me?? I’m starting to think it is because I’m a loser like I don’t have anything going for me really but I truthfully am working towards that. I feel like I shouldn’t have to be perfect to make relationships.

Male 29

I have been single for 3 years. I was in a relationship but walked away due to wanting to change careers. I knew I had to be willing to move on a drop of a dime and didn’t want to involve anyone in that. Leaving that relationship put a strain on all my friendships as they were tied to my ex in some way shape or form. That is still true today.

I’m now into my new career not crushing it yet but I’ve made progress. My mother and step dad got back from a cruise this past week they met a lady around my age and want to set me up with her… my mom legit got her number and wanted me to text her.

I declined and told her I’m not dating right now. She asked why and I explained to her my situation. I’m only making 85k right now, I don’t have any friends, I need to lose weight, I haven’t accomplished anything real in my life. I was making more money in my old career. I have a lot of work ahead me to form myself into someone I actually want to be.

My mom and step dad have been pissed at me ever since and haven’t returned my calls. It’s keeping me up tonight for whatever reason.

What did I do wrong here?? Is this any reason to be upset? I figured they would be supportive in my reasoning because to me it makes sense.

Male 29

I recently got back into dating and it has been an interesting experience. In 2023- I had a gf but left her after she wasn’t supportive of me taking a big career pivot which would affect my income.

Fast forward to now I’m making around 85k, which isn’t the pinnacle or anything but I’m settled in my new career and I’m confident in my trajectory. I’ve also become healthier, I’ve lost weight, done a lot of work on myself. I haven’t dated in 3 years.

I’ve gotten ghosted or felt the energy shifts in the past few dates I’ve been on. I don’t do apps; I will usually ask women out I make conversation with at the gym or in public at like Target.. The questions asked are usually “why are you single” or “what do you do for fun”…

The answer to both those questions is legit work on my career. Im super dedicated and love what I do (IT) so im always learning and studying for certs. I also lift weights and game but thats really about it.

Am I working this wrong? Is there a better way to express why I’ve been single and what I’m doing? Or am I just out of practice

My football career and past failures still haunts me to this day

I’m embarrassed by the fact that my athletic career went bad

Im turning 29 in a few weeks. It’s been 7 years about since I finished college football and I still can’t get over it.

I was a 4 star d tackle, all American out of high school all of it. I didn’t pan out in college. I was there for 5 years and only played 15 meaningful snaps. At this point I have allowed it to ruin my life I hate myself so much. Im at a point now where don’t socialize, I don’t date because I don’t feel like I’m good for shit. Even before that though after a certain amount of time I would always break things off with girls I dated because I didn’t want them to see how much of a loser I was.

I graduated with my bachelors and masters and went on to do sales work. I recently changed into a new career Field and now I only make like 85k a year. I was making more in sales but I like what I do more now.

I’m not doing anything super impressive with my life. But I do have goals and am super disciplined on the pursuit of such goals. I spend all my time either working , studying for certs, or at the gym. I lost a bunch of weight recently and I will play video games in my free time.

I don’t know how to get past this. And I’ve wasted my whole late 20s essentially being so depressed