u/OneOpposite6391

TW:ED CALORIES So I’ve been I. ha recovery fkr like
Three weeks idk and it’s so hard the bloating makes me wanna quit and I almkst abce I’m eating between 1600-2300 calories a day and I feel like I’m using it as an excuse to over eat and idk, today I ate like half a bag of Cheetos mostly right before bed and ended up feeling so ill I >!purged.!< Im mkt proud but idk my stomach hurts less now but im somas this whole recovery thing lead to me breaking one of my longer lasting streaks of not prurgjnv idk if I have a subtype of a ed either cuz I never really “binged” mabye save for 3 times but I’ve purged far beyond that and its ussally just a meal or sth i regret eating so idk if I even have Mia, feeling physically ill and like half that weird gross >!budge vomit shit!< is really triggering to me because my parents force feeding me cuz I never age cuz my adhd meds is how I started >!purging.!< And so it’s a massive trigger for me and I couldn’t resist 💔 any advice or direction would be appreciated.

16yr girl wondering If second puberty is real I pray it is I have such a baby face and like no ass it tits and look so just bad-please tell me it gets better as you get into your 20s😫 hhh

My parents DK I’m going through HA and my dad mainly (my parents have always been almond parents) my dad is so annoying abt food sometimes, he went from saying my weight of 50kg is horrible and I need to weigh more to always (?jokinly?) shaming me when I snack and shoos me away from whatever I’m eating and it’s so annoying I js finished dinner and ate 2tbsp on nut butter (ik that’s a lot of it’s so good with some honey), and I want more so bad but he’s downstairs and I’m still hungry and k just want some omg im going insane, ussally the dinner I just ate woukd have filled me up but this time it didn’t. Arghhhh

Make sure you get your fiber-easier when you eat more calories but if you eat too much because it’s just easier to since you have more energy be mindful you don’t have to much or your digestive system will not like you. (I had 75grams yesterday..) I’m feel very bloated today😫🤞

TW CALORIES :::: This is the like first day I’ve eaten more then 2000 calories for the first time in fkrvevr, I ate hot Cheetos for the first time in forever today and I feel so guilty for everything I ate cuz I also ate a BUNCHHHHHHH of nut butter 😭 like more then I’ve had in the past two month in a day combined and Ik I’ve eaten past my tracked 2k and I feel so bad, I’m currently eating my yogurt bow (last meal of the day) and I feel so guilty and I’m so worried about the bloat and weight gain 💔 why can’t I js wake up with my period omd I hate ts shit🥹 how do u guys deal w ts-im hardly underweight too and have HORRIBLE weight distribution so ik any weight I gain will go to all the wrong places and I already have an fat on my mid section im not playing yall 😭🥴😫 ughhh

(ID LOVE YIUR TIPS AND TRICKS THAT HAVE WORKED FOR YOU!!!!!) I have HA and I got my period last month(yay!!!) but it was lwk kinda weird and not that normal but this month I feel like I’m back to square one because I’m 5 days late /: it’s really hard to fully commit to this all in stuff so I’m trying tk to slowly because I’m also suffering from like well I’ll be honest I’ve had Ed’s (I’ve had Ana and Mia in the past now I think I just have a subtype as I dont restrict nearly as much, I eat on average minimal 1500 energy and sometimes more and I go to the gym but don’t do cardio other then steps!(: )
Now I’ve realized me not having a regular period isn’t at all want I want and I want it back so badly but I’m so scared. It makes me really mad but it’s just a fact, so I’m starting for 2-3 days a week to eat 2k energy and the other days 1600, but I’m also not forcing myself to eat if I’m full because it physically makes me feel so bad and the next day I always suffer from it, I’m also working on not focusing on food so much and enjoying my life, along with HA recovery I’m also focusing on getting a lot of healthy fats and carbs (trying) and trying tk shoot retricting so much, it’s so hard when everyone around you hardly eats when I do ect, esp because it’s kinda become part of my identity in a way? Just wish I had done it right from the start): does all the stuff I’m saying sound good to start to try tk recover my period. Also physically activity is a need for me mentally, I won’t stop going to the gym(: having muscle and being strong is importnat to me. If anyone has tips PLEASE LET ME KNWO!! My tip since yall are helping me is to try almond butter with a tiny drop of maple syrup it’s genuinely so good.!(: thanks!!

Hey, I was recently frantically posting on here trying to find jobs in environmental science, with a bunch fi stipulations and realized it wasn’t realistic so I’ve moved onto trying tk find a career with better pay and better benefits, some of the things I’d LIKE is a chance to work in a team and not be stuck in an office every minute, not statistical, and not a pure desk job. I’m looking into a career that’s interesting,inticimg, hands on and works with a team with good benefits and pay, I know I can’t have it all so a career hat checks some of these box’s would be great! I just need some direction. I’m still in highschool and in the future I’m going to do volenteering with wildlife to fulfill that part of me I think? There’s no future in environmental sciences. I hate that everything I end up liking has shit pay,shit benefits or js isolating ugh. Please help

(Is there any hope for any good paying environmental careers yall know of I’m missing? Btw not good with physics really no engineering for me I think?) Hey, I was recently frantically posting on here trying to find jobs in environmental science, with a bunch fi stipulations and realized it wasn’t realistic so I’ve moved onto trying tk find a career with better pay and better benefits, some of the things I’d LIKE is a chance to work in a team and not be stuck in an office every minute, not statistical, and not a pure desk job. I’m looking into a career that’s interesting,inticimg, hands on and works with a team with good benefits and pay, I know I can’t have it all so a career hat checks some of these box’s would be great! I just need some direction. I’m still in highschool and in the future I’m going to do volenteering with wildlife to fulfill that part of me I think? There’s no future in environmental sciences. I hate that everything I end up liking has shit pay,shit benefits or js isolating ugh. Please help

Hey, I was recently frantically posting on here trying to find jobs in environmental science, with a bunch fi stipulations and realized it wasn’t realistic so I’ve moved onto trying tk find a career with better pay and better benefits, some of the things I’d LIKE is a chance to work in a team and not be stuck in an office every minute, not statistical, and not a pure desk job. I’m looking into a career that’s interesting,inticimg, hands on and works with a team with good benefits and pay, I know I can’t have it all so a career hat checks some of these box’s would be great! I just need some direction. I’m still in highschool and in the future I’m going to do volenteering with wildlife to fulfill that part of me I think? There’s no future in environmental sciences. I hate that everything I end up liking has shit pay,shit benefits or js isolating ugh. Please help

I’m a 16yr girl, I lost my period to HA and I cannot consistently get it back or get it back so it’s full-I finally got it back last month and it was patchy ect, I’m three days late this month and I’m scared I lost it again, I’ve been eating at my maintain 1500-1650 calories and I do go to the gym, I’ve given up cardio part from getting my steps in. I need to know the fastest ways you guys got your period back with minimal weight gain please! (I’ve also been working on restoring my relationship with food and I’ve come a long way from where I started and I yeah) if you have questions feel free to to ask-also I guess I’ll say it tw weight- I’m 5,6 and 110lbs but when I was more seriously disordered I was 85-95lbs and 5,3-5,4/5, I still had my period but now i don’t? I’m so confused I just want to be normal and be able to go to the gym and become strong and like how I look with my period so I don’t have to do any of this stupid stuff.

I’m a 16yr girl, I lost my period to HA and I cannot consistently get it back or get it back so it’s full-I finally got it back last month and it was patchy ect, I’m three days late this month and I’m scared I lost it again, I’ve been eating at my maintain 1500-1650 calories and I do go to the gym, I’ve given up cardio part from getting my steps in. I need to know the fastest ways you guys got your period back with minimal weight gain please! (I’ve also been working on restoring my relationship with food and I’ve come a long way from where I started and I yeah) if you have questions feel free to to ask-also I guess I’ll say it tw weight- I’m 5,6 and 110lbs but when I was more seriously disordered I was 85-95lbs and 5,3-5,4/5, I still had my period but now i don’t? I’m so confused I just want to be normal and be able to go to the gym and become strong and like how I look with my period so I don’t have to do any of this stupid stuff.

EDITTT: thank you everyone Thank you I’ve decided I’m going to start eating more at least 2-3 times a week and increasing my other intake as well, Ik I’m Ha ur not spossed to eat refined carbs and u want the healthily ones but I just asked my mom to pick me up hot cheetos(something I’ve been wanting so so badly for over a year but never let myself) and I think..I’ll actually have some if she gets them-I’m gonna try and focus more on whole carbs though.

I’m a 16yr girl, I lost my period to HA and I cannot consistently get it back or get it back so it’s full-I finally got it back last month and it was patchy ect, I’m three days late this month and I’m scared I lost it again, I’ve been eating at my maintain 1500-1650 calories and I do go to the gym, I’ve given up cardio part from getting my steps in. I need to know the fastest ways you guys got your period back with minimal weight gain please! (I’ve also been working on restoring my relationship with food and I’ve come a long way from where I started and I yeah) if you have questions feel free to to ask

The woe of Balorac
She called herself the lady of bones 
She was made naught for the land we call sol
Her existence is one far too holy for mancynn
No mortal too pure for such a ravishing woman
Yet I still languish in a pit of mine own dispair
Her bones; promised to another man 
  The Lady of Death, her bones are naught mine to grasp; yet I crave her imperfections,
 the ones glimpsed only when one draweth near.
I beg the god of Eros; just for her satin eyes to lay their gaze upon mine
what am I? 
Am I not deserving of such marrow?
Doth my whispered love not seize thee; in body and bone?
Oh lady of yore, 
Let my lisp of love bare the fruit to your heart
Let me draw near to your frigid flesh;akin to death
You know naught ;
Naught of the  insatiable hunger I house for your soul
allow me to grasp  your bones, I  want you to see my desire;soon to feel.
I want to warm your ban with my passion
I want only your kindred eyes to lay its watch 
Only you- I want to covet to my soul
For Let me drink your woes 
For you i'd bear the sin, the venial of Tityus
Only but for glance would dampen such a clawing ache 
Oh for she; who skin like paper,
I yearn more than any breathing being to gaze into your crestfallen palm, to trace the heartbeat of your anguish, and ease whatever sorrow has been laid upon your soul.
O let me touch your pallid flesh
For you, id let drain me of my colour for your warmth.
But for now a kiss will sit on my lips for all eternity like a rose longing to be plucked.

Links
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/t9ROmjlrIC

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/DfsdhWQWVQ

Who wouldn’t want a longer winter?
The bitter hostility from the sky,
Where man comes only to fuss and fume.
Dirt uprooted beneath the plush of snow,
Energy lost instead of bloomed.

That December I remember:
Your eyes no longer drank the dew
that coated the soft yellow weeds.
Permafrost, an eager host.
Angelic sheets of white reflect what should be the eyes of two
yet yours are lost, a sorrowful brown bound to a ghost.
I long to see my reflection, a mirror ill detest
But In honestly ill say, i havent seen myself since i last saw your visesge.
My reflection i wish only to see 
If being reflected by the eyes of you.

Why fear the season of wanning light unless you find solace in your shadow?
Heat’s faint rebellion against soul‑consuming cold.
To watch the wavering flames dance across sap‑rich logs,
To watch the fiery embers dance in her eyes,
To watch the rays of the sun lean down to kiss her face,
radiant from the early morn’s dawn.
At last.
The burmal winds are back, biting at the soft pallor of her skin
The rough of cotton, a jacket two sizes too large
meant to lend warmth, not mend a wound 
Yet the red sorrow still fled her veins.
The sun’s light could not hold her shadow,
as I could no longer hold her.
She hated the winter for its cold embrace.
I loved it, for she turned to mine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/cb0ku7y3oz

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Pnf9vcZJ3j

Who wouldn’t want a longer winter?
The bitter hostility from the sky,
Where man comes only to fuss and fume.
Dirt uprooted beneath the plush of snow,
Energy lost instead of bloomed.

That December I remember:
Your eyes no longer drank the dew
that coated the soft yellow weeds.
Permafrost, an eager host.
Angelic sheets of white reflect what should be the eyes of two
yet yours are lost, a sorrowful brown bound to a ghost.
I long to see my reflection, a mirror ill detest
But In honestly ill say, i havent seen myself since i last saw your visesge.
My reflection i wish only to see 
If being reflected by the eyes of you.

Why fear the season of wanning light unless you find solace in your shadow?
Heat’s faint rebellion against soul‑consuming cold.
To watch the wavering flames dance across sap‑rich logs,
To watch the fiery embers dance in her eyes,
To watch the rays of the sun lean down to kiss her face,
radiant from the early morn’s dawn.
At last.
The burmal winds are back, biting at the soft pallor of her skin
The rough of cotton, a jacket two sizes too large
meant to lend warmth, not mend a wound 
Yet the red sorrow still fled her veins.
The sun’s light could not hold her shadow,
as I could no longer hold her.
She hated the winter for its cold embrace.
I loved it, for she turned to mine.

When I take my final breaths,
Don’t lay me in a fiery chest,
Nor confine me in a coffin’s nest,
With flowers that will soon decompose.

Bury me where life begins,
Among the soil, beneath the winds,
With a willow seed, where time rescinds,
Resurrecting me from life’s vast lies.

One with nature, let me fade,
Into the earth, my home remade,
Heartache gone, my soul conveyed,
Into the depths where shadows lean & sway.

Stories will replace my name soon withering away,
No glory here, no lasting fame,
Just tales of sorrow, grief, and blame,
Dreams shattered, never tamed,
All too soon to fade away.

But in my atoms, life will buzz,
A meaning true, as it once was,
My tree will rise from dirt and grime,
Strong and tall, without a pause,
A fresh start, a new prime.

My roots will soak the mourners’ tears,

Comfort those who come to grieve,
Under my canopy, they believe,
Their sorrows to the willow leave,
As hearts repose and spirits breathe.

They may forget, but the willow knows,
So if you’re kind, where my spirit goes,
Plant a seed where the willow grows,
To honor life’s unending prose.

When I take my final breaths,
Don’t lay me in a fiery chest,
Nor confine me in a coffin’s nest,
With flowers that will soon decompose.

Bury me where life begins,
Among the soil, beneath the winds,
With a willow seed, where time rescinds,
Resurrecting me from life’s vast lies.

One with nature, let me fade,
Into the earth, my home remade,
Heartache gone, my soul conveyed,
Into the depths where shadows lean & sway.

Stories will replace my name soon withering away,
No glory here, no lasting fame,
Just tales of sorrow, grief, and blame,
Dreams shattered, never tamed,
All too soon to fade away.

But in my atoms, life will buzz,
A meaning true, as it once was,
My tree will rise from dirt and grime,
Strong and tall, without a pause,
A fresh start, a new prime.

My roots will soak the mourners’ tears,

Comfort those who come to grieve,
Under my canopy, they believe,
Their sorrows to the willow leave,
As hearts repose and spirits breathe.

They may forget, but the willow knows,
So if you’re kind, where my spirit goes,
Plant a seed where the willow grows,
To honor life’s unending prose.