u/Outrageous_Matter276

1: Can we bring our parents or one parent to orientation?

2: By my understanding the 18th is NOT the start of classes?

They start from early September I guess?

3: Is 18th the start of classes ?

Thanking y'all in anticipation!!!

Basically the text also GCUMUN ka hai kia koi insta ??

Debating Wala to follow kar Liya???

Do you all genuinely get along with your siblings??

I know for a fact that If my siblings ever met outside, they will never ever interact with a person like me or even befriend me ...! They will judge me so badddd!!! .

Like we have discussed it!!!

Man my older siblings are 9,7and 3 years older than me !

I absolutely find my older sister (9 years my senior) insufferable. We have our good days but we don't like each other . She nags a lot . She talks a lot . She expects us to listen to her a lot. She can't just think nicely about me , talk nicely about me . Expects the worst of me . I really hate her . Ever since the ripe age of 8 I have hated her.She is soo loud but if I say that , that would be bad as why do I hate someone for being themselves?

My older and only brother (7 years my senior,), I have absolutely no relationship with him . I kind of feel like I dunno gold digger ??

• I only go to him when I want financial assistance.

• He looks at me like iam a really lowly and good for nothing centipede.

• Boosts my morale but I don't know how to engage in a conversation with him ?

• I genuinely don't understand his humor or if I say something back he says iam badtameez ?! I don't know how to answer to his jokes in line ( like hadd mien reh kar ?)

• Other sisters hypee him up like crazyyy!!I just can't !? My fault again but I don't really see him like that ?

• Body shames me and all just today called me wide forehead ? What for ? Whyyyy? Should I call you "pimple face!". ( Apparently he doesn't mean that "Bhai to yehi karta hain " theek hai !! I just want you have a relation with my only lonely brother )

My other sister (3 years my senior) iam the closest to get can say everything that comes into my goddamn mouth and brain like no strings attached Anything!!! My older siblings also don't understand her but get along fine with her !!!!

I love her to bits will kill for her but why can't I have that relationship with them ???

Am I too badtameez?

Is my face a giveaway ?

Do I deserve to grbin these family of over achievers ?

Do I deserve to live with such perfect people?

What should I do ??

Please I want to have fun with them !!

Stop treating me like a brain less git !!

Stop looking at me like iam pathetic !!!

Do help me out if u can stranger ?? Older siblings!!

Khuda Nighebaan!!!

Uni fit suggestions!!!

I am going to start university this month . Shopping is still pending . I am 5ft shortie so i actually don't know what looks good on me . Like I personally like myself in first like that of:

•Baggy pants + long or short kurta ( short as in 5cm above knees) but garmi mien nahi hota .

•Flared trousers and A-line shirts !

( Should I buy more of these or suggest others )

So I have done niqaab (since 11th grade)and abaya since 9th grade) but now that I am going to go to university I want to drop the abaya and go with bawaqar styling of clothes .

Do help me out with what footwear should I get to appear taller tooo .

For context I can't do real high heels as I am clumsy asf and don't really like the tik tik and my university is huge and also has marble tiles so big no so WHAT FOOTWEAR should I go with ?

Help out a sister !!

P.S: My mother thinks it's hypocritical of me to drop abaya even though I only stated hijab because of her other w I did on my own so what do you think ?!

Do help out people my future depends upon it ( quite literally)

BS Pol science or International relations !!

Basically the title. People who have done their professional degree in either can you kindly tell me pros and cons of your degree . How did the Pakistani job market treat you ? Are you established now ? . Which is better objectively?

Please help a kid out !

Man iam doneeeee!

My elder sister 27 doesn't want to marry ( no good situations around us no great happy couples) .

She is beautiful alright big green eyes,fair skinned( cause that's the standard right ?), highly qualified etc. Deal breaker for people,short height .She is 5'2 alhumdullilah. ( Parents blame her for that as if they ain't 5'5 and 5'0 ft themselves)

Now a rishta came after four years of constant rejection they agreed okay on everything.

The guy is a sub inspector aspiring for more has seen life struggles basically text book older brother ( has a dominating personality, not the qawwam type but ghussila roub wala type)

(They claimed on face oh we are paindilu they curse normally and we don't thier only daughter has studied privately all her life like weird)Nothing wrong with being paindu but with being jahil and non visionary that is a problem.

My parents went to their house it was ujra pujra that made them sit on charpayis and steel crockery was used .The only thing good was the guys personality. My other sister who went there with them asked him " what do u think about female empowerment and then doing jobs and all? . To which he replied that " Female empowerment is important no doubt . Aur aurat parhi ho gi to hi aga naslain achi hon gi "

Matlab job par aya hi nahin . Ghar unka under construction behria town mien koi 10 marla ka whatever. Basic jhuggi mien wo reh Raha tha . Matlab furniture of no sort . To which my mother replied ka " 3 beta hain unka to bahir hi layie gi saman " . TF dude in big 2026 bhi log jaheez dien ga or lienga!

Now on our pleas and Everything it was rejected ( as much as we were told ) and was conveyed to my aunt for her daughter. Acc to my mama " APNA bhala nahin karna to Kisi AUR ka karlo".

Now this is where it gets started :

They reject my cousin saying that she is short they want a 5'4 girl for their giant son( he is 5' 10 at best) .

Naive me thinks wah they thought highly of our sister they really thought they could be compatible together blah blah.

I discuss it with my sisters and they break my delulu by telling me that" they just liked us because we can offer much jahez we live in a better of house and society than them while my aunt lives in androon side so she won't be able to offer much in their thought and also my cousin is an orphan so yeah " Again TFFfffff.

My problem is that when someone goes to your house especially in the rishta process you Present Your ABSOLUTE EFFING BEST right ? Unhain na to wo bhi nahi Kiya . Charpaiyan dude like those not even fancy ones

After rejecting my sister they come back to uss again and my parents are pressuring my sister into just going for him .

Last time when that TALK happened my sister said that she will live alone and on her own as she will go abroad through scholarship and would like to spend her life that way rather then being with a man .

At that time surprisingly my father said k cool and asked my brother that " Are u okay with this responsibility and would u always support her ? " To which he replied of course . They have a great bond so yeah . But my sister intervened that she won't be dependent on him but will be on her own and all .

Now my father says that " akele Raha bhi ja sakta hai , khaya bhi ja sakta hai , Zindagi bhi guxari ja sakti hai , Magar phir apki teen din pourani lash hi mile gi !"

Astaghfirallah who says that to their own child .

Iam so disappointed 😞

We used to think our father had networking ( been a teacher since he was 18 himself and has reached for 1 decade in a fancy school for rich kids . Then has been teaching for nearly 2 decades in worlds and Pakistan's most prestigious university. So we though ohh we not to worry in this department.

Fick all of it Parents don't have anything in thier hand, humien hameesha good girls banna ka kaha gaya what good has it proved for anyone.

Now she is being pressurized to say YES to him as if he is the last beacon of hope . Fick it all.

Do pray for her to find her peace and way in life, for her to get her scholarship and ho abroad and find a good person or just live a good life .

Iam about to enter university iam not going to be a good girl at all . These people have nothing on hand .

Bye was a long rant don't have a friend to discuss this with so reddit it is .🥲😭

Why do u give your daughters so much exposure and confidence just to be scared by age and shit don't give it in the first place so it hurts less🫠

My elder sister 27 doesn't want to marry ( no good situations around us no great happy couples) .

She is beautiful alright big green eyes,fair skinned( cause that's the standard right ?), highly qualified etc. Deal breaker for people,short height .She is 5'2 alhumdullilah. ( Parents blame her for that as if they ain't 5'5 and 5'0 ft themselves)

Now a rishta came after four years of constant rejection they agreed okay on everything.

The guy is a sub inspector aspiring for more has seen life struggles basically text book older brother ( has a dominating personality, not the qawwam type but ghussila roub wala type)

(They claimed on face oh we are paindilu they curse normally and we don't thier only daughter has studied privately all her life like weird)Nothing wrong with being paindu but with being jahil and non visionary that is a problem.

My parents went to their house it was ujra pujra that made them sit on charpayis and steel crockery was used .The only thing good was the guys personality. My other sister who went there with them asked him " what do u think about female empowerment and then doing jobs and all? . To which he replied that " Female empowerment is important no doubt . Aur aurat parhi ho gi to hi aga naslain achi hon gi "

Matlab job par aya hi nahin . Ghar unka under construction behria town mien koi 10 marla ka whatever. Basic jhuggi mien wo reh Raha tha . Matlab furniture of no sort . To which my mother replied ka " 3 beta hain unka to bahir hi layie gi saman " . TF dude in big 2026 bhi log jaheez dien ga or lienga!

Now on our pleas and Everything it was rejected ( as much as we were told ) and was conveyed to my aunt for her daughter. Acc to my mama " APNA bhala nahin karna to Kisi AUR ka karlo".

Now this is where it gets started :

They reject my cousin saying that she is short they want a 5'4 girl for their giant son( he is 5' 10 at best) .

Naive me thinks wah they thought highly of our sister they really thought they could be compatible together blah blah.

I discuss it with my sisters and they break my delulu by telling me that" they just liked us because we can offer much jahez we live in a better of house and society than them while my aunt lives in androon side so she won't be able to offer much in their thought and also my cousin is an orphan so yeah " Again TFFfffff.

My problem is that when someone goes to your house especially in the rishta process you Present Your ABSOLUTE EFFING BEST right ? Unhain na to wo bhi nahi Kiya . Charpaiyan dude like those not even fancy ones

After rejecting my sister they come back to uss again and my parents are pressuring my sister into just going for him .

Last time when that TALK happened my sister said that she will live alone and on her own as she will go abroad through scholarship and would like to spend her life that way rather then being with a man .

At that time surprisingly my father said k cool and asked my brother that " Are u okay with this responsibility and would u always support her ? " To which he replied of course . They have a great bond so yeah . But my sister intervened that she won't be dependent on him but will be on her own and all .

Now my father says that " akele Raha bhi ja sakta hai , khaya bhi ja sakta hai , Zindagi bhi guxari ja sakti hai , Magar phir apki teen din pourani lash hi mile gi !"

Astaghfirallah who says that to their own child .

Iam so disappointed 😞

We used to think our father had networking ( been a teacher since he was 18 himself and has reached for 1 decade in a fancy school for rich kids . Then has been teaching for nearly 2 decades in worlds and Pakistan's most prestigious university. So we though ohh we not to worry in this department.

Fick all of it Parents don't have anything in thier hand, humien hameesha good girls banna ka kaha gaya what good has it proved for anyone.

Now she is being pressurized to say YES to him as if he is the last beacon of hope . Fick it all.

Do pray for her to find her peace and way in life, for her to get her scholarship and ho abroad and find a good person or just live a good life .

Iam about to enter university iam not going to be a good girl at all . These people have nothing on hand .

Bye was a long rant don't have a friend to discuss this with so reddit it is .🥲😭

Why do u give your daughters so much exposure and confidence just to be scared by age and shit don't give it in the first place so it hurts less🫠

Is it really okay ?

I am writing this post to get ideas to help out my mother.

For context :

My parents have been married for almost 3 decades now . They are first cousins and when they married each other they were both pretty old from societal standards ( my mother was 27 and father was 31) . My nana Abu just knew that he will and can do something and handed his creative and hardworking daughter who had been acting as a mother to his younger 6 children as a mother for almost 13 years to my father on that thought of his. My parents got married and that is honestly a whole digest story of its own. Like we joke that Allah almighty really wanted to make something happen by marrying you two .

Now my father is absolutely a great 10/10 father but absolutely 3.5/10 husband. Like my mother has been supporting him from day one that women Gave away her sllamis and mehar on the 3rd day of marriage to get a water tank installed at their portion of house ,( which was un- plastered 1 room portion) . This has been the life story of them . My mother's continuous Sabr and bardasht have made it possible for him to be a PhD doctor and to be working in one of the biggest educational institutes of the planet ( Google confirmed) .

My father like most desi men " bahir walon sa Matlab ka apni millan waryan sa khoob BAAT kar lain ga "

But once it comes to my mother we have always seen him say stuff like " ap mera pas sa uthna ka Kitna lain gi " " mera waqt mat zaya Kiya karain " " ji bhonki jayien mien sin Raha hon" " theek agar ap naraz hain to weekend pa BAAT karain ga abhi mera dimagh na kharab karain or time bhi na zaya karain " " theek hai naraz rahain mien bohat kush hon "( proceeds to actually not give a damn and go on not talking as long as she talks by herself) .

Like most desi men " unki mardangi beevi ko joota ki nook par Rakh kar hi aayi hai "

It's an undeniable fact that if my father is a PhD, financially stable, owns a house in carores,dress Nicly is all thanks to my mother's efforts.

My mother never was the woman to go ahead and buy name brands or spend luxuriously nor on herself not on us ,her 4 children either. She has always been a thinker , salleqa shaar, Sabr wali khatoon. But my father only acknowledges her once in front of people or us children . In front of is he is like this absolutely devoted husband whose wife is just angry for no valid reason .

( End of context)

Now of course both of them are old but never developed mutual understanding or a healthy relationship.

My mother is now both physically and mentally done.

She wants to be appreciated by someone she has done so much for she has seen the typical traumas of susraal and other weirdisms.

Now even biologicaly she is done having bardasht and Sabr it had been a month my father has barely talked to her . My older sister is 27 so of course shaadi yals are there but never since part 5 years my father is like let her crack CSS then we will see .

Like he is not even actively seeing proposals for her which is BS considering he is the father of 3 daughters and her 2nd attempt she remained unallocated.

• How do I get my mother Sabr of course she only ever asks Allah almighty but just how much more ?

• Should I get my mother therapy ? but what does therapy actually do ?

Like they make you talk that's all they do and mother never talked to someone not even her sisters due to the thing that " mian biwi aik dosra ka labass hota hain "

• At the end of our discussion she said " I wish to go away from this house and hum but I can't " .I thought she was talking about a break of some sort so I said that " I wish we lived In developed countries where women could roam freely " but instead she said, "What will people think of my daughters and I sit back down !" That broke me .

• Do I takn to my father but that would just result in 2to 3 months of peace and he will behave and it will be back .

• My father is a hafiz e quran nover stopped us from anything real great but I fear this will make him end up in jahannam .

• JUST HOW DO I HELP MY MOTHER ?

Any suggestions and ideas ?

( Sorry for my English and sorry if I got side tracked it was a really loaded conversation last night )

TLDr: How to help my mother and get my father hiddayat so he stops mentally torturing her with her being companion less while having a companion by her side .She is a menopausal women who has had enough now !

​

I am writing this post to get ideas to help out my mother.

For context :

My parents have been married for almost 3 decades now . They are first cousins and when they married each other they were both pretty old from societal standards ( my mother was 27 and father was 31) . My nana Abu just knew that he will and can do something and handed his creative and hardworking daughter who had been acting as a mother to his younger 6 children as a mother for almost 13 years to my father on that thought of his. My parents got married and that is honestly a whole digest story of its own. Like we joke that Allah almighty really wanted to make something happen by marrying you two .

Now my father is absolutely a great 10/10 father but absolutely 3.5/10 husband. Like my mother has been supporting him from day one that women Gave away her sllamis and mehar on the 3rd day of marriage to get a water tank installed at their portion of house ,( which was un- plastered 1 room portion) . This has been the life story of them . My mother's continuous Sabr and bardasht have made it possible for him to be a PhD doctor and to be working in one of the biggest educational institutes of the planet ( Google confirmed) .

My father like most desi men " bahir walon sa Matlab ka apni millan waryan sa khoob BAAT kar lain ga "

But once it comes to my mother we have always seen him say stuff like " ap mera pas sa uthna ka Kitna lain gi " " mera waqt mat zaya Kiya karain " " ji bhonki jayien mien sin Raha hon" " theek agar ap naraz hain to weekend pa BAAT karain ga abhi mera dimagh na kharab karain or time bhi na zaya karain " " theek hai naraz rahain mien bohat kush hon "( proceeds to actually not give a damn and go on not talking as long as she talks by herself) .

Like most desi men " unki mardangi beevi ko joota ki nook par Rakh kar hi aayi hai "

It's an undeniable fact that if my father is a PhD, financially stable, owns a house in carores,dress Nicly is all thanks to my mother's efforts.

My mother never was the woman to go ahead and buy name brands or spend luxuriously nor on herself not on us ,her 4 children either. She has always been a thinker , salleqa shaar, Sabr wali khatoon. But my father only acknowledges her once in front of people or us children . In front of is he is like this absolutely devoted husband whose wife is just angry for no valid reason .

( End of context)

Now of course both of them are old but never developed mutual understanding or a healthy relationship.

My mother is now both physically and mentally done.

She wants to be appreciated by someone she has done so much for she has seen the typical traumas of susraal and other weirdisms.

Now even biologicaly she is done having bardasht and Sabr it had been a month my father has barely talked to her . My older sister is 27 so of course shaadi yals are there but never since part 5 years my father is like let her crack CSS then we will see .

Like he is not even actively seeing proposals for her which is BS considering he is the father of 3 daughters and her 2nd attempt she remained unallocated.

• How do I get my mother Sabr of course she only ever asks Allah almighty but just how much more ?

• Should I get my mother therapy ? but what does therapy actually do ?

Like they make you talk that's all they do and mother never talked to someone not even her sisters due to the thing that " mian biwi aik dosra ka labass hota hain "

• At the end of our discussion she said " I wish to go away from this house and hum but I can't " .I thought she was talking about a break of some sort so I said that " I wish we lived In developed countries where women could roam freely " but instead she said, "What will people think of my daughters and I sit back down !" That broke me .

• Do I takn to my father but that would just result in 2to 3 months of peace and he will behave and it will be back .

• My father is a hafiz e quran nover stopped us from anything real great but I fear this will make him end up in jahannam .

• JUST HOW DO I HELP MY MOTHER ?

Any suggestions and ideas ?

( Sorry for my English and sorry if I got side tracked it was a really loaded conversation last night )

TLDr: How to help my mother and get my father hiddayat so he stops mentally torturing her with her being companion less while having a companion by her side .She is a menopausal women who has had enough now !

So my older sister mashallah is a green eyed fair skinned hijabi total boss . Went to America through an exchange program at the age of 15 for a month then did her degree in English literature then did media house jobs then recently went to Taiwan for an international conference for 2 weeks . Mashallah is a great experienceful life right ?

Attempted CSS but remained unallocated after all the shitty process .

My rant now is that people come and go and say her height is too short ( she is 5' 1) and reject her.

She could give 2 fucks but well shii still hurts .

My father is broad minded and my mother is as narrow minded as a middle class house wife can get.

She never lets her tell that she went abroad, attempted CSS or did media house jobs nor does my father .

People boast about it but they freaking hide it .

My mother seeks rishtas for her of fsc pass people running cosmetics store or police people and what not shit. Like your gem of a daughter should go to them ?

Such outrageous behavior.

So sick of people and my parents.

Makes me scared. My mother says if they earn good have their own house that's it but that is so ducking not.

"Iss sa behtar ya na tha ka hum university mien mun maari kar leta at least like minded log to milte!! "

That was the rant bye!🤞🫠

So I got selected for the program and the deadline for confirming is 24th . My question is if anyone from LAHORE is going to this program.

My parents now remember that they won't let me go alone ( honestly don't wanna go there alone too) also where would anyone who would go with me stay so they want to get in contact with or whatever with the person going to the AKU thingy by train .

Would appreciate your responses!