u/Parking-Menu2654

After 20 years of being a pot head and the last 4 being an alcoholic, I finally did it! Feeling pretty good about it.

So about 13ish years ago I was like 20-21 and I was at home playing some saints row on a hot summer day, getting stoned as hell. I got a text from a random number asking for the load dimensions for the forks. Whatever the hell that meant. I sent a really random number but I made it so an intelligent person would understand I was bullshit or stupid and ask questions. I put something like 2ft 37” or some shit like that. Well few hours later they texted back and said the forks broke, hit Ryan in the face and they don’t know if he’s going to make it but has been rushed to the emergency room. Not gonna lie my fucking heart dropped and I hoped to god it was a joke so I replied letting them know I was trolling them and they should probably call for important information like that to avoid this shit. They responded and let me know they would forward the conversation to LnI so I knew they weren’t joking.

Fuuuuuckkkk I hope Ryan lived and didn’t have some debilitating fucked up handicap because of me. I think about this shit a few times a year and can’t believe how stupid I was. I feel so bad.

Feeling pretty proud about it. My addictions ruined my 4 year relationship and I wanted a change. It’s been lonely but healthy.

Under RCW 46.61.370(1), drivers traveling in the same direction as the bus must always stop when the red lights are flashing and the stop paddle is extended.
Under RCW 46.61.370(2), drivers traveling in the opposite direction do not have to stop if the highway has:

1. Three or more marked traffic lanes, OR
2. A physical barrier, OR
3. A median island.
   If you are on a standard two-lane road (one lane in each direction with no center turn lane), drivers in both directions must stop.

I had some complete idiot use his company vehicle to block both lanes of traffic right in front of me with zero warning while I was hauling a 20klb excavator and nearly flattened this guy.
We were not required to stop. Yes I got out and gave him an ear full and yes I reported him to his company for being a complete moron. I could have went to prison for life if I would have crushed his tiny little truck.

33m here. I left my gf of four years a month ago when I caught her sleeping with men in her car at work. I treated her bad so I don’t blame her and I’m not angry. I spent three of those years a heavy alcohol because I wasn’t happy in any aspect of life. I quit drinking a month before I caught her and I went cold turkey smoking pot the day I found out. I moved into my own place a few days later and I started walking and just never stopped. I was 283 at the beginning of this year and this morning I am 248! That’s around 35lbs down! I feel so much better about myself! I’m here to brag because my ex was my only friend and support system and now that I lost that overnight I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Yay me!

From 2023 to the beginning of this year I was a heavy alcoholic. The last two years I was drinking two pints of vodka a day and it nearly killed me. I was so sick my doc took me out of work for 4.5 months and as much as I want to say I didn’t drink during that time, I sure as hell did. When I finally went back to work I just couldn’t deal with the morning anymore so I made the decision on a final attempt to quit. Three weeks into sobriety I caught my gf having sex with other men in her car and discovered it had been going on for awhile. Fortunately I was able to stay sober during all of this and I haven’t relapsed but it has been HARD. At the height of my drinking I could barely walk a mile without getting completely exhausted and disgustingly sweaty. Now the only thing that keeps me sane is walking. I walked a total of 54 miles last week averaging over 15k steps a day and fuck it has not been easy but I am starting to see a change in my health. Although walking does help, going to as many AA meetings as I can is what is truly getting me through. I spend all of my free time outside of exercise and work attended AA meetings in person or online and it truly helps me not feel so alone. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you have to keep your mind busy. Hope everyone is doing okay.

Hey all. I’m going through it right now and need some suggestions and advice to heal my mind. I’ve been smoking weed nearly every day since I was 13 and I’m 33 now. Long story but my grandparents supplied me as a child with no limitations. Hippies. I’ve only had a collective sobriety of about 12 months during these 20 years. My issue is, being high all day everyday is really clouding my judgement and I’m having a hard time connecting with the ones I love and controlling my emotions. Caught my girl having sex with someone in her car 7 days ago and now I’m in a hotel until I can get my apartment. My addictions drove the love of my life to sleep with other people behind my back and I am so devastated. I’m about a month clean from alcohol although I have been trying to quit since December I keep relapsing. I am confident I will never get back to heavy drinking again because I’m taking medicine and I really genuinely believe that was what drove my ex away and I absolutely don’t ever want to be under the influence again now. I’m so ashamed of how I was for three years. Anyways, my main concern is cannabis. Last time I quit it took 3 months to pee clean but I was not exercising and drove a truck for work at the time. This was 4.5 years ago when I was with my ex before this current breakup. The vivid nightmares is what really scares me. I have the most intense war related nightmares when I try to quit. Trying my best to hurry my family to shelter while watching missles rain from the sky. Running around my house in a gun fight with intruders. Watching Boeing 747s literally walk like a dog on its wings etc. 90% of the time it is rushing my family to safety under missle and gun fire. One night I had a dream a family of Sasquatch were trying to take my kid. They are vivid and very lucid and they last for months. I feel like that’s going to make me relapse on weed. I am so determined to heal my mind and body so I can be in a better mental state for the ones I love. Any suggestions and advice is much appreciated. Thanks.

Hey all. I’m (33m) serious about getting into the gym. A little backstory- I just caught my girlfriend of four years having sex with someone in her car on Tuesday. When we met, I was in really really good shape because I worked in the plumbing industry specializing in sewer so I basically dug holes for 50 hours a week and didn’t need a gym. Fast-forward four years I haven’t been in the industry in three years. I’m 80 pounds overweight and I don’t plan on going back to the industry anytime soon because I’ve made a better career decision. Most of that weight gain was from heavy drinking because I got comfortable and and stopped working on myself altogether. I thought I would spend my life with. I’m angry and hurt and want to use this motivation to make exercise a priority and a routine I absolutely have to shed the weight so I can get back out into the market when I am emotionally ready. My question is does anybody have any genuine advice for me? I know quitting drinking is going to be the first thing so I wanna be clear and saying I have quit and I’m on medication to help with the cravings. Thanks!

The last few months have been rocky and I had my suspicions so I hit to Reddit a few weeks ago to see what everyone else experienced and how they caught their partner. A lot of people suggested a voice activated recorder and so I went out and got one. My (33m) gf (33f) and I have not been intimate in a very long time. I’ve been on the couch voluntarily the last few weeks because we are not getting along. She got a work from home job a few months ago and I slowly started to notice a change in her. So I decided to put the recorder in her car in the hopes of catching her admitting her cheating to her friend. Today was her very first team lunch with her new coworkers. They all met up had lunch, that for sure happened because she definitely called her friend to tell her about the lunch Well when I came home she was in pajamas bottoms and I thought that was weird. I decided to check out what the recorder caught and when I got in her car I noticed all her windows down, perfume sprayed and her dash cam completely taken down. I was kind of nervous about what I was going to find. I fully expected her to say something on the phone to her friend about cheating on me and that was what I planned to get. But instead I found a full 30 minutes of her fucking some guy in her car. I looked at the our texts for the day and she texted 10 mins after they finished. I was wondering why she was extra happy today when I got home from work. There ya have it guys. It finally happened to me. Now I have to start all over again and try to keep a roof over my 12 year olds head during the transition. This sucks

Hey guys, this is my throwaway account for obvious reasons. I am sending my mother a letter in the mail because she has blocked me for standing up to the way she treats my daughter. It’s a very long story and I’m happy to answer more questions but here is what I’m going to send her and I’m curious what you all have to say.
Mom,Read this all the way through before you react. This didn’t come out of nowhere. This is years of built‑up reality, and I’m done letting it go unsaid.
You’ve been trying to comment on my parenting. You don’t have that authority. That comes from actually functioning as a parent, and that wasn’t there. Do you really think you get to critique a job you half showed up for? I will give you credit for working very hard to be a provider, you put in long hours and made sure the basics were covered. But providing food, clothes, and shelter is still the legal minimum to keep a kid alive and keep yourself out of jail. That isn’t parenting.
It was your fundamental job to guide my development into a functioning adult, yet you showed almost no interest in my future. It’s honestly sickening that you can’t take responsibility for how your absence affected my success, and even worse that you’re completely blind to where you failed as a mother.

On top of that, you repeatedly told me that Black men are better in every way, tearing down my worth as a white man from a young age. What kind of mother does that to her own son? Those comments didn’t just hurt, they attacked my identity, destroyed my confidence, and damaged my self‑esteem at the exact time I needed you to build me up. It was emotional abuse that made me feel inherently lesser because of my race, something I could never change. These comments have harmed me in my romantic relationships my entire life. I have always felt insecure and inferior in every romantic relationship I’ve ever been in, like I was never going to be good enough no matter how hard I tried.

I see you trying to do the same thing to my daughter, and it’s repulsive. You had the nerve to tell her that her athletic abilities come from her 9% African DNA. That is a disgusting thing to say to a child. Your obsession with the African race is weird, and frankly, it’s a fetish. You are so consumed by these racial narratives that you can’t even see your granddaughter as a whole person. She is naturally athletic because she is a healthy, active child—not because of some tiny fraction of her ancestry that you want to fetishize to fit your skewed worldview. It proves that you haven’t changed; you’re still trying to use race to categorize and diminish the people around you instead of actually knowing them.

What I grew up with wasn’t guidance, emotional support, or protection. It was instability, fear, and damage. How did you think that environment would produce a healthy adult? This started when you were 14. You made a decision you weren’t ready for, and I’ve carried the consequences for 33 years. You did not try your best, no matter how much you want to convince yourself and everyone around you that you did. Providing my needs doesn’t make you a mother, it makes you a provider. You deliberately distanced yourself from our support system in Utah to convince yourself you were some strong, independent mother. That choice brought way more harm than good. Why was your pride and self‑image more important than giving me a stable start? You ignored your parents and forced them to step in and raise another child because of your own selfishness. Grandpa is the only real father I’ve had. And after everything he’s done, you abandoned him when he needed you most. How do you justify turning your back on the man who actually raised me?

You’re still doing it. Grandpa is being scammed and showing signs of dementia, and you turned your back on him. You got offended at a man whose mind is failing because he reacted to you “calling him out.” While you were focused on your feelings, I was keeping him alive—making sure he has firewood so he doesn’t freeze, buying tires to keep him moving, buying him a car so he has reliable transportation, and paying for plumbers because basic living conditions weren’t being handled. Where were you when your own father needed a daughter? Do you seriously not understand how shitty you are?

Same pattern with Grandma. Seven years in bed, sick and dying, and all you did was complain and talk trash. Then you showed up to her funeral acting like she was the problem. That’s not reality. You’ve just never been held accountable for your shitty personality. How could you trash her for years and then rewrite history at her funeral?

It’s disgusting that you abandon your own family while throwing yourself fully into your husband’s family, acting like the perfect, supportive wife and daughter‑in‑law. In reality, you’re just running from your failures because deep down you know what a piece of shit you’ve been as a mother and daughter. Why is it always easier for you to play the hero for them than to face the damage you caused your own blood?

You call me “self‑righteous,” but that’s projection. You’ve lost control, and you can’t handle it. I see through it now. I don’t play along. I’m the one showing up for the family you walked away from. That’s not arrogance, it’s accountability. Why is it always everyone else’s fault but never yours?

If the state knew what went on in any home you put me in, you would have lost your parental rights more than once. You pulled me out of a support system in Utah and moved me to Washington to put me around Jeff, a man you knew was dangerous. When I was around five, he went to jail for beating you in Grandpa’s house while I was in the bathtub, and you still chose to move away with him. He threw me over a washing machine because I asked you if I could use Kool‑Aid to rinse my mouth after brushing my teeth. He hit me hard and repeatedly while you were in the next room and did not save me, and you still moved me away from my family and my safety net to be with him. You lied to me for 12 years telling me he is my father when my real father is a patient, logical man, and you took me from him because he didn’t fit your narrative. You put me in a very dangerous situation because it was your ticket to escape. You kept using him for childcare anyway. And when I was six, you hit me in the head with a coffee can. I lived around your hair‑trigger reactions and things being thrown. That’s not discipline. That’s violence. How could you expose your own child to a man you knew was dangerous and then participate in the abuse yourself?

You were completely checked out of my life even though you were there my entire life and always available. Half the time you chose to send me away to live with Jeff or with my grandparents. I hit 11th grade with zero credits because you never once checked. That’s neglect. Do you think kids just figure things out on their own? At the same time, you made sure my sister had structure and a path. She’s seven years younger, and you made sure she succeeded. You sent me to live with dropouts at 14, let me run wild, then judged me for the weed problem that came from it. Meanwhile, you were drinking and smoking with her at 15. The hypocrisy was obvious. Why did one child deserve effort and the other only judgment?

At 21, I was homeless with a baby, and you chose a side, and it wasn’t mine. You sided with the person who put me there. You gave her rides for five years and worked with her for nine. I slept on a living room floor while you kept a bedroom empty. Then you point to buying me a Jeep I couldn’t afford to run or leaving $100 for food in an empty kitchen like that was real support. That was the bare minimum, and even that came with control. When your own son was homeless with an infant, why did you choose everyone except me?
Now I’m seeing the same behavior aimed at my daughter, and that’s where this stops. I watched you tell my 12‑year‑old three separate times that she “needed her ass beat,” hours after she had already been threatened at school and I pulled her out early. That’s not discipline. That’s out of line. How could you say that to a terrified child?

What you said to my daughter didn’t surprise me. It fits perfectly with everything else. I remember the night you got drunk and told me on the phone how your husband used to make his daughter watch him beat his son in the garage as punishment. In my eyes, what you said is true. And if it’s true, the fact that you’re completely comfortable with that kind of environment and those values says everything about who you are. It proves you still normalize violence and cruelty as acceptable ways to “teach” children. Maybe you should watch your mouth when you’re drunk, because it reveals what you really think is okay.
I’m not in that position anymore. I’m a high‑paid worker for a national company. My partner is a State Child Development Worker. We know what a healthy environment looks like. You’re not a victim, and you’re not misunderstood. You’re being seen clearly now that you don’t have control.

You have spent years miscalculating who I am and underestimating what I’m capable of. It’s clear you’re stunned now that I’ve mastered my own emotions and reactions. You can’t use my anger as an excuse to ignore me anymore, and it obviously rattles you that I can stand my ground and prove how much I’ve outgrown you.
At 50 years old, with barely any retirement built up and relying on your husband’s union retirement as your plan, you should be thinking about the relationships you’ll depend on later. Most people hope their kids will want to help them when they get older. That’s not something you built. Based on how you treated me and how you treated your own parents, I won’t be stepping in for you financially, physically, or in any capacity. And the reality is, that’s your loss. I can fix just about anything, and I had to teach myself all of it because I didn’t have a father figure. You took me away from the one I had and replaced him with a monster. Did you ever stop to think what removing my only real father figure would do to me?

You love to blame everything on my anger, my outbursts, and how I treat you. Let’s do a reality check. Where do you think I learned those survival mechanisms? You and Jeff hardwired my brain for them. Living in constant fear, never knowing when the next hit, the next thrown object, or the next explosion was coming created PTSD that I still carry. My nervous system was trained from age five to stay in fight‑or‑flight because safety never existed. Outbursts and hypervigilance weren’t choices they were how a child survived the terror you allowed and participated in. How convenient it is for you to point at my reactions while ignoring the environment you created that made them necessary. You gave me a childhood of chaos and violence, then act shocked that I didn’t turn out perfectly calm and trusting. How dare you blame the symptoms while denying you caused the trauma?

This pattern runs through everything. Being born into instability. Being pulled away from support. Being put in dangerous situations. Being neglected in school. Being treated differently than my sister. Being set up to fail and then judged for it. Being abandoned when I needed you most. Watching how you treated Grandma, and how you’re treating Grandpa now—it’s all the same. How do you look at this lifelong pattern and still believe you were a good mother?
And what you said to my daughter was the line. That proved nothing has changed.

I am who I am because I fought through all of that, not because of you. And I won’t let it touch my daughter.
I’m done carrying this. I’m done allowing it around my family.
This is where it ends