u/Party-Recording-5772

It has been two months since the breakup.

We dated for about seven months.

She was struggling with her mental health, and I got dragged into it. By the end, I was completely drained, both physically and mentally.

For the second half of the relationship, it felt like I was the one keeping it alive and doing my best to help her through her mental health struggles.

We broke up because, for her, being in a relationship had become too much at that time. However, she wanted me to stay in her life as a friend because she didn't want to lose me and wanted to try when she get better. I refused because I couldn't stay friends while I still had romantic feelings for her, and I was already emotionally exhausted. I also had to respect myself.

I wanted to handle things respectfully and avoid any drama, so I told her I wasn't going to block her or anything.

I'm not going to lie—it was incredibly hard for me, but I truly believed it was the best decision for both of us.

After ten days of no contact, she deleted me from everywhere.

A month later, I ran into her on the street, and my God, she spoke to me as if she had never known me. She was so cold and blamed me, saying that I had let her go and that everything that happened was my fault. That hurt me even more than the breakup itself. I had genuinely tried my best.

While I was still licking my wounds two months later and trying to heal from the breakup, a mutual friend told me two days ago that she was already out partying and seeing someone else.

How can some people go from talking to you every day for months, being intimate with you, and then just discard you as if you meant nothing?

Don't get me wrong—I wish her all the best, and I genuinely hope she finds peace. But the part that hurts is realizing that all those months, all that time, and all the emotional investment seem to have meant nothing to her.

It's hard to accept the possibility that they may never have truly loved you and simply enjoyed the time they spent with you.

It has been two months since the breakup.

We dated for about seven months.

She was struggling with her mental health, and I got dragged into it. By the end, I was completely drained, both physically and mentally.

For the second half of the relationship, it felt like I was the one keeping it alive and doing my best to help her through her mental health struggles.

We broke up because, for her, being in a relationship had become too much at that time. However, she wanted me to stay in her life as a friend because she didn't want to lose me and wanted to try when she get better. I refused because I couldn't stay friends while I still had romantic feelings for her, and I was already emotionally exhausted. I also had to respect myself.

I wanted to handle things respectfully and avoid any drama, so I told her I wasn't going to block her or anything.

I'm not going to lie—it was incredibly hard for me, but I truly believed it was the best decision for both of us.

After ten days of no contact, she deleted me from everywhere.

A month later, I ran into her on the street, and my God, she spoke to me as if she had never known me. She was so cold and blamed me, saying that I had let her go and that everything that happened was my fault. That hurt me even more than the breakup itself. I had genuinely tried my best.

While I was still licking my wounds two months later and trying to heal from the breakup, a mutual friend told me two days ago that she was already out partying and seeing someone else.

How can some people go from talking to you every day for months, being intimate with you, and then just discard you as if you meant nothing?

Don't get me wrong—I wish her all the best, and I genuinely hope she finds peace. But the part that hurts is realizing that all those months, all that time, and all the emotional investment seem to have meant nothing to her.

It's hard to accept the possibility that they may never have truly loved you and simply enjoyed the time they spent with you.

So basically, we had been dating for 3 months.

The last month was very hard for her. She was dealing with a lot in her life, and she started to pull away. She became very hot and cold.

I was very understanding and respectful. I didn't push her and gave her the space and time she needed, but something felt really off, and I was becoming frustrated.

The last straw came 4 days ago after she took 2 days to reply and canceled our date.

So I respectfully said: "I can see you're dealing with a lot right now, and I know how hard it is. But I also feel like I'm not a priority at all. I just wanted to ask if we could talk whenever it's convenient for you. If you need more time and space, just tell me."

She spiraled and said some very hurtful things. She told me I wasn't being understanding, said she had already told me she needed space, that she had no time for this, and that I could leave if I wanted.

The hurtful part is that I hadn't been clingy or needy the whole time. I was just shocked. I apologized, told her to take as much time as she needed, and said she could contact me if and when she needed anything.

Three days passed without a word. Then I woke up this morning and saw that she had blocked me.

We broke up 2 months ago.

She was dealing with too much in her life "and still".

I was very confused and we talked about it last time she told me she can't be the girlfriend I want and a relationship for her now is a No and need to focus on herself and her mental health but doesn't want to lose the connection between us and wanted me to stay as close friend and after therapy maybe try again.

I was so lost and me having feelings for her was hard for me to stay as friend and maybe see her after that with another dude was hard so I rejected the offer respectfully.

2 weeks post breakup she unfriended me everywhere.

Now it has been 2 months since we brokeup up and I miss her too much the connection is just was unreal and I miss the company and the convos and the time we spend. I know she was hurt too so me contacting her again gonna open the wound.

Now stuck and don't know what should I do.

I'm open now for the friendship offer but I don't think she will accept it.

What's your thoughts?

Did you have a similar situation?

We broke up 2 months ago.

She was dealing with too much in her life "and still".

I was very confused and we talked about it last time she told me she can't be the girlfriend I want and a relationship for her now is a No and need to focus on herself and her mental health but doesn't want to lose the connection between us and wanted me to stay as close friend and after therapy maybe try again.

I was so lost and me having feelings for her was hard for me to stay as friend and maybe see her after that with another dude was hard so I rejected the offer respectfully.

2 weeks post breakup she unfriended me everywhere.

Now it has been 2 months since we brokeup up and I miss her too much the connection is just was unreal and I miss the company and the convos and the time we spend. I know she was hurt too so me contacting her again gonna open the wound.

Now stuck and don't know what should I do.

I'm open now for the friendship offer but I don't think she will accept it.

What's your thoughts?

Did you have a similar situation?

For context, it was only six months.

I came from a secure place, but somehow this one — let's call it more of a situationship than a relationship — triggered something so deep that I can't explain.

All my old relationships never ended in such a dramatic way, or at least there was always a big reason for them to end without me thinking twice about it.

I still can't cope and have nightmares to this day.

So apparently, we started dating, and it was so intense that I thought I had found the one. She was gorgeous, loving, and caring, and checked all my boxes. It was a connection I had never felt before in my previous relationships.

Only two months in, the problems started. I'm not sure if it was something she had been dealing with the whole time and was able to hide, or if it just happened.

She had what I think was depression (she wasn't diagnosed, but the signs somehow were clear) and suffered from low self-esteem that somehow reflected onto me, making me insecure in a way that gives me the ick when I think about it now.

She slowly started to distance herself emotionally and physically until I was the only one keeping the relationship going.

She had too much under her belt and started telling me about her traumas from childhood, family, old friends, work, old relationships, and the abusive behavior of men she had been with.

At the beginning, I was very understanding, but as time went on, it got harder. Almost all of our conversations were about her and her problems. Not gonna lie, sometimes it was my fault because she told me, "You are not my therapist," but I told her she could still talk to me.

I got emotionally too invested, and on the other side, it was the opposite. But I thought it would get better as time went on, or that's how I convinced myself.

She was hot and cold sometimes. Sometimes she pushed and pulled again. Some stonewalling behavior and silent treatment were involved. I knew for sure she was doing it unconsciously and didn't mean it in a manipulative way because I could tell she was drained.

But those things made it worse. I started acting insecure and needy sometimes — not in an abusive way — but looking back, I was just looking for answers she couldn't give herself.

The way she talked, for example, about her exes whom she loved, how she treated them, and how she was all over them, and then when I got back home and thought about how she was treating me, it was confusing.

Some days I thought she wasn't that into me, and some days I thought, "Nah, it's just a hard time, and she saw something in me and will give me the same love I poured into her."

After the six-month mark, I hit my limit. It seemed I started to deal with depression too, and it was the worst time ever, where my insecurities hit rock bottom.

I acted crazy looking for answers, and I could tell she was somehow done with me.

Then came the last conversation where I looked for final answers.

She told me she couldn't be in a relationship right now, but she will start therapy and see how things would go. She said she would love for me to stay in her life so maybe we could try again because she liked me a lot and thought she could do it one day.

But in between, she threw in some reasons that it was my fault and brought up some issues I had caused before, even though we had talked about those problems before, worked on them, and I had apologized for my part. But she didn’t take any accountability for her behavior and made it 100% my fault.

The last wake-up call came from the remaining self-respect that I had, and for the first time, my brain was talking. I refused that and wanted to cut all contact.

Two weeks after that, it was easy for me, but then she slowly started to cut contact and unfriended me on social media, which somehow triggered me even more.

I started thinking I had made the wrong choice. Maybe I should have stayed as a friend just to support her and kill my emotions, and try to stay as a platonic friend like I had been for the last few months. At least I enjoyed her company and loved the time I spent with her.

So I called her and apologized that I was emotional the last time and told her I would like to work things out at least as friends and support her on her journey because I care.

She refused in the most cruel way. I knew her reaction was emotional too and not rational, but it hurt a lot.

She told me I had left her emotionally the last time and that she needed people who give her hope and support and don't leave when life gets hard. She said that I was just playing the whole time and that I was a bad person with a mask, who refused to support her because she didn't give me what I needed, that she didn't have any feelings for me anymore, and that it just broke her from the inside on the day I left. She said it was something unfixable and that it would be better if I looked somewhere else, and that I had lost her forever, even as a friend if I wanted that.

She even projected some old traumas onto me, telling me I was aggressive ("I swear, I was just emotional and didn't even touch her") the last time we met, and that she had thoughts that I would abuse her physically if we were in a long-term committed relationship, like some of her exes had done to her.

The final straw was when she said, "People fucked me up. I'm done with all of you. You fucked me up too."

She said she had started therapy and felt much better now. Then she hung up.

I was shocked, sad, and broken like I had never been before.

Since then, I have lived with regret.

Sometimes I feel naive, dumb, and like a sucker for not getting the hint and leaving.

Sometimes I feel grief and sadness that maybe I could have handled things differently and maybe made things work out, controlled my insecurities, and stayed strong for her.

I still think about everything, sometimes with anger and sometimes with sadness. I can't describe it.

I convinced myself it was the right person at the wrong time, and sometimes the opposite.

Too many questions in my head with no answers.

It has been two months since then. I saw her yesterday from far away. She seemed happy, and that made me happy to see her like that, but at the same time, I was sad that she moved on so fast from me, like I meant nothing.

I miss her a lot, but I miss the version of me before her too. I feel like I ruined everything and that it could have been something one day.

I'm not the confident man that she was attracted too at the first place and the man who gave her power and smile on her face everytime now when i look in the mirror i only see a loser.

I know it takes time and strength to heal but have no one to rely on for now and I need to do it by myself.

I hope she thinks one day that I didn't meant to hurt her and I was just a human with good heart and intentions.

Do you have any advice to how to cope with everything that I lived? Can you share your experience and how you dealt with similar situation?

For context, it was only six months.

I came from a secure place, but somehow this one — let's call it more of a situationship than a relationship — triggered something so deep that I can't explain.

All my old relationships never ended in such a dramatic way, or at least there was always a big reason for them to end without me thinking twice about it.

I still can't cope and have nightmares to this day.

So apparently, we started dating, and it was so intense that I thought I had found the one. She was gorgeous, loving, and caring, and checked all my boxes. It was a connection I had never felt before in my previous relationships.

Only two months in, the problems started. I'm not sure if it was something she had been dealing with the whole time and was able to hide, or if it just happened.

She had what I think was depression (she wasn't diagnosed, but the signs somehow were clear) and suffered from low self-esteem that somehow reflected onto me, making me insecure in a way that gives me the ick when I think about it now.

She slowly started to distance herself emotionally and physically until I was the only one keeping the relationship going.

She had too much under her belt and started telling me about her traumas from childhood, family, old friends, work, old relationships, and the abusive behavior of men she had been with.

At the beginning, I was very understanding, but as time went on, it got harder. Almost all of our conversations were about her and her problems. Not gonna lie, sometimes it was my fault because she told me, "You are not my therapist," but I told her she could still talk to me.

I got emotionally too invested, and on the other side, it was the opposite. But I thought it would get better as time went on, or that's how I convinced myself.

She was hot and cold sometimes. Sometimes she pushed and pulled again. Some stonewalling behavior and silent treatment were involved. I knew for sure she was doing it unconsciously and didn't mean it in a manipulative way because I could tell she was drained.

But those things made it worse. I started acting insecure and needy sometimes — not in an abusive way — but looking back, I was just looking for answers she couldn't give herself.

The way she talked, for example, about her exes whom she loved, how she treated them, and how she was all over them, and then when I got back home and thought about how she was treating me, it was confusing.

Some days I thought she wasn't that into me, and some days I thought, "Nah, it's just a hard time, and she saw something in me and will give me the same love I poured into her."

After the six-month mark, I hit my limit. It seemed I started to deal with depression too, and it was the worst time ever, where my insecurities hit rock bottom.

I acted crazy looking for answers, and I could tell she was somehow done with me.

Then came the last conversation where I looked for final answers.

She told me she couldn't be in a relationship right now, but she will start therapy and see how things would go. She said she would love for me to stay in her life so maybe we could try again because she liked me a lot and thought she could do it one day.

But in between, she threw in some reasons that it was my fault and brought up some issues I had caused before, even though we had talked about those problems before, worked on them, and I had apologized for my part. But she didn’t take any accountability for her behavior and made it 100% my fault.

The last wake-up call came from the remaining self-respect that I had, and for the first time, my brain was talking. I refused that and wanted to cut all contact.

Two weeks after that, it was easy for me, but then she slowly started to cut contact and unfriended me on social media, which somehow triggered me even more.

I started thinking I had made the wrong choice. Maybe I should have stayed as a friend just to support her and kill my emotions, and try to stay as a platonic friend like I had been for the last few months. At least I enjoyed her company and loved the time I spent with her.

So I called her and apologized that I was emotional the last time and told her I would like to work things out at least as friends and support her on her journey because I care.

She refused in the most cruel way. I knew her reaction was emotional too and not rational, but it hurt a lot.

She told me I had left her emotionally the last time and that she needed people who give her hope and support and don't leave when life gets hard. She said that I was just playing the whole time and that I was a bad person with a mask, who refused to support her because she didn't give me what I needed, that she didn't have any feelings for me anymore, and that it just broke her from the inside on the day I left. She said it was something unfixable and that it would be better if I looked somewhere else, and that I had lost her forever, even as a friend if I wanted that.

She even projected some old traumas onto me, telling me I was aggressive ("I swear, I was just emotional and didn't even touch her") the last time we met, and that she had thoughts that I would abuse her physically if we were in a long-term committed relationship, like some of her exes had done to her.

The final straw was when she said, "People fucked me up. I'm done with all of you. You fucked me up too."

She said she had started therapy and felt much better now. Then she hung up.

I was shocked, sad, and broken like I had never been before.

Since then, I have lived with regret.

Sometimes I feel naive, dumb, and like a sucker for not getting the hint and leaving.

Sometimes I feel grief and sadness that maybe I could have handled things differently and maybe made things work out, controlled my insecurities, and stayed strong for her.

I still think about everything, sometimes with anger and sometimes with sadness. I can't describe it.

I convinced myself it was the right person at the wrong time, and sometimes the opposite.

Too many questions in my head with no answers.

It has been two months since then. I saw her yesterday from far away. She seemed happy, and that made me happy to see her like that, but at the same time, I was sad that she moved on so fast from me, like I meant nothing.

I miss her a lot, but I miss the version of me before her too. I feel like I ruined everything and that it could have been something one day.

I'm not the confident man that she was attracted too at the first place and the man who gave her power and smile on her face everytime now when i look in the mirror i only see a loser.

I know it takes time and strength to heal but have no one to rely on for now and I need to do it by myself.

I hope she thinks one day that I didn't meant to hurt her and I was just a human with good heart and intentions.

Tl;dr:

Mental health issues in a relationship triggered my insecurities

For context, it was only six months.

I came from a secure place, but somehow this one — let's call it more of a situationship than a relationship — triggered something so deep that I can't explain.

All my old relationships never ended in such a dramatic way, or at least there was always a big reason for them to end without me thinking twice about it.

I still can't cope and have nightmares to this day.

So apparently, we started dating, and it was so intense that I thought I had found the one. She was gorgeous, loving, and caring, and checked all my boxes. It was a connection I had never felt before in my previous relationships.

Only two months in, the problems started. I'm not sure if it was something she had been dealing with the whole time and was able to hide, or if it just happened.

She had what I think was depression (she wasn't diagnosed, but the signs somehow were clear) and suffered from low self-esteem that somehow reflected onto me, making me insecure in a way that gives me the ick when I think about it now.

She slowly started to distance herself emotionally and physically until I was the only one keeping the relationship going.

She had too much under her belt and started telling me about her traumas from childhood, family, old friends, work, old relationships, and the abusive behavior of men she had been with.

At the beginning, I was very understanding, but as time went on, it got harder. Almost all of our conversations were about her and her problems. Not gonna lie, sometimes it was my fault because she told me, "You are not my therapist," but I told her she could still talk to me.

I got emotionally too invested, and on the other side, it was the opposite. But I thought it would get better as time went on, or that's how I convinced myself.

She was hot and cold sometimes. Sometimes she pushed and pulled again. Some stonewalling behavior and silent treatment were involved. I knew for sure she was doing it unconsciously and didn't mean it in a manipulative way because I could tell she was drained.

But those things made it worse. I started acting insecure and needy sometimes — not in an abusive way — but looking back, I was just looking for answers she couldn't give herself.

The way she talked, for example, about her exes whom she loved, how she treated them, and how she was all over them, and then when I got back home and thought about how she was treating me, it was confusing.

Some days I thought she wasn't that into me, and some days I thought, "Nah, it's just a hard time, and she saw something in me and will give me the same love I poured into her."

After the six-month mark, I hit my limit. It seemed I started to deal with depression too, and it was the worst time ever, where my insecurities hit rock bottom.

I acted crazy looking for answers, and I could tell she was somehow done with me.

Then came the last conversation where I looked for final answers.

She told me she couldn't be in a relationship right now, but she will start therapy and see how things would go. She said she would love for me to stay in her life so maybe we could try again because she liked me a lot and thought she could do it one day.

But in between, she threw in some reasons that it was my fault and brought up some issues I had caused before, even though we had talked about those problems before, worked on them, and I had apologized for my part. But she didn’t take any accountability for her behavior and made it 100% my fault.

The last wake-up call came from the remaining self-respect that I had, and for the first time, my brain was talking. I refused that and wanted to cut all contact.

Two weeks after that, it was easy for me, but then she slowly started to cut contact and unfriended me on social media, which somehow triggered me even more.

I started thinking I had made the wrong choice. Maybe I should have stayed as a friend just to support her and kill my emotions, and try to stay as a platonic friend like I had been for the last few months. At least I enjoyed her company and loved the time I spent with her.

So I called her and apologized that I was emotional the last time and told her I would like to work things out at least as friends and support her on her journey because I care.

She refused in the most cruel way. I knew her reaction was emotional too and not rational, but it hurt a lot.

She told me I had left her emotionally the last time and that she needed people who give her hope and support and don't leave when life gets hard. She said that I was just playing the whole time and that I was a bad person with a mask, who refused to support her because she didn't give me what I needed, that she didn't have any feelings for me anymore, and that it just broke her from the inside on the day I left. She said it was something unfixable and that it would be better if I looked somewhere else, and that I had lost her forever, even as a friend if I wanted that.

She even projected some old traumas onto me, telling me I was aggressive ("I swear, I was just emotional and didn't even touch her") the last time we met, and that she had thoughts that I would abuse her physically if we were in a long-term committed relationship, like some of her exes had done to her.

The final straw was when she said, "People fucked me up. I'm done with all of you. You fucked me up too."

She said she had started therapy and felt much better now. Then she hung up.

I was shocked, sad, and broken like I had never been before.

Since then, I have lived with regret.

Sometimes I feel naive, dumb, and like a sucker for not getting the hint and leaving.

Sometimes I feel grief and sadness that maybe I could have handled things differently and maybe made things work out, controlled my insecurities, and stayed strong for her.

I still think about everything, sometimes with anger and sometimes with sadness. I can't describe it.

I convinced myself it was the right person at the wrong time, and sometimes the opposite.

Too many questions in my head with no answers.

It has been two months since then. I saw her yesterday from far away. She seemed happy, and that made me happy to see her like that, but at the same time, I was sad that she moved on so fast from me, like I meant nothing.

I miss her a lot, but I miss the version of me before her too. I feel like I ruined everything and that it could have been something one day.

I'm not the confident man that she was attracted too at the first place and the man who gave her power and smile on her face everytime now when i look in the mirror i only see a loser.

I know it takes time and strength to heal but have no one to rely on for now and I need to do it by myself.

I hope she thinks one day that I didn't meant to hurt her and I was just a human with good heart and intentions.

I was in a very toxic relationship about 3 years ago. It only lasted a year, but it completely destroyed me emotionally. I loved my ex deeply, fought hard for the relationship, became clingy after the breakup, and spent years trying to recover. During those 3 years, I went on dates and tried to move on, but nothing ever lasted more than a date or two because I never felt a real connection.

Then I met a former coworker.

For the first time in years, I genuinely liked someone. We got along extremely well, understood each other, and eventually started dating. He showed interest from the beginning and honestly did everything "by the book." He listened to me, checked on me, brought me flowers, planned dates, and made me feel cared for. We dated for about 2 months and I really thought I had found someone special. Deep inside i was ready to date and I felt for the first time in years something.

Then my life started falling apart.

I changed jobs and hated my new job. I had financial problems. My mental health got worse and I fell into a deep depression. Around the same time, my toxic ex suddenly contacted me again, which triggered a lot of unresolved emotions and trauma.

I was honest with the new guy about all of this. At first he was very understanding. But as my depression got worse, I started pulling away emotionally. I still cared about him and wanted him in my life, but I became distant.

One night we were at his place watching a movie. We hadn't had sex for around 3 weeks because of my depression. He respectfully initiated intimacy by telling me he missed me. For some reason, I got triggered and told him I didn't want sex and accused him of only wanting me for my body.

He didn't pressure me or get angry. He was hurt, but respectful. He told me he was worried because ever since my ex came back into my life, I had changed completely. He wondered whether I still had feelings for my ex and said he felt like I was eventually going to leave him.

We ended up having a very deep conversation that night. He talked about my self-esteem and told me I needed to learn to love myself. We actually ended the evening on a good note.

But after 2 days of thinking, I convinced myself that something had broken between us and I told him I wanted to stop dating.

The confusing part is that I still wanted him in my life.

So we stayed in contact.

For the next several months, things were in a weird gray area. He did almost all of the initiating. He would ask me to go out, check on me, encourage me not to isolate myself, and continue supporting me. He knew I was struggling financially and emotionally. He planned my birthday because he knew how important it was to me. He bought me gifts, flowers, took me out, and listened to all my problems.

At the same time, intimacy completely disappeared.

Ironically, after I accused him of only wanting me for sex, he became afraid of touching me. He told me multiple times that he didn't want to make me uncomfortable and didn't want me to think he was only interested in my body. So he completely stopped initiating anything physical.

The problem was that I was still emotionally attached to him, but every time things became closer or more serious, I seemed to shut down emotionally. The more I reflected, the more I realized that my previous toxic relationship had left me with serious trust issues and difficulty accepting love from a man.

Eventually he asked me where things were going.

I told him the truth:

I told him I couldn't love anyone because I didn't love myself. I told him I had difficulty accepting men in my life. I told him every time someone got close to me, I emotionally shut down. I also told him I loved having him in my life and didn't want to lose him.

He tried very hard to understand. But shortly afterward he told me he thought I might still not be over my ex. That upset me because I felt he was judging me. We argued, although he later apologized and admitted he was just desperately trying to understand why things weren't progressing.

A little later we met again and had what became our final serious conversation.

He asked what I wanted.

I told him I didn't want a relationship right now because I was starting therapy and needed to focus on myself. But I wanted him in my life and wanted things to continue as they had been. And maybe when I get better date again.

He told me he loved me, but he couldn't stay in the gray area anymore- as he stated-

He said he couldn't continue being emotionally invested without knowing whether there would ever be a future. He respectfully ended things and said it would be better if we stopped talking.

I was devastated.

At the time, I felt abandoned. I felt like he left me alone during the worst period of my life when I needed support the most. Just because I didn’t accept what he wanted. And somehow he was a little aggressive at that met up.

After a few weeks, I unfriended him and deleted his number.

Then something unexpected happened.

About 3 weeks later, he reached out.

He told me he felt he had handled things poorly because he was emotional and wanted to apologize. He said he was willing to accept being friends because he knew I was struggling and didn't want me to feel alone.

I refused.

A week later, he contacted me again saying he missed me and regretted how everything ended.

This time I was still carrying a lot of anger.

We had a phone call.

I told him how abandoned and hurt I felt.

He became emotional too.

For the first time, he told me how neglected and drained he had felt during those months. He said he felt like I only saw his mistakes and ignored all the effort he had put into supporting me. He reminded me that he had stopped all physical advances because he didn't want me to think he only wanted me for sex.

And thoughts I just was using him and nothing more

He admitted refusing friendship had been a mistake and said he regretted it.

But by that point, I exploded.

I told him he had ruined my life.

I told him to leave me alone.

I told him he was fake and never really cared.

I said a lot of hurtful things.

And made his effort small and told him other men in my life stayed longer when I had hard times.

And i like him as a human but nothing more my trust to him is just broken and I don't want him anymore in my life even as a friend. I just was hurt inside.

He was speechless.

Then I hung up.

That was a month ago.

Since then, he has completely disappeared.

The strange thing is that after that conversation I finally started therapy and my mental health has improved significantly. For the first time, I'm looking back at everything with a clearer head.

And honestly?

The more I reflect, the more I think he was actually a genuinely good man who loved me and tried very hard to make things work.

I don't think he was perfect.

But I also don't think he deserved many of the things I said.

Now I feel a lot of regret.

I miss him.

I don't know whether I miss the relationship, the friendship, or simply the fact that he was one of the few people who truly cared about me during a very dark period of my life.

Was I unfair to him?

Did I push away a genuinely good man because of unresolved trauma, depression, and fear of intimacy?

And if you were in his position, would you ever want to hear from me again after the way our last conversation ended?

So basically, I dated this woman for two months. During that time, we both realized that we each had our own baggage and personal issues, and neither of us was truly ready for dating.

Despite that, the connection between us was incredibly strong, so we decided to remain friends. For about four months after we stopped dating, we continued seeing each other on weekends and spending a lot of time together because neither of us wanted to completely let go of that connection.

I have some trauma from a past relationship that she didn't know about. One of my exes had an STI and hid it from me until I eventually found out. Since then, I've developed trust issues regarding sexual health and I tend to get tested regularly. Whenever I enter a new relationship, I usually talk openly with my partner about it and get tested because it helps me manage that anxiety.

During the two months we were dating, we had sex frequently, and 99% of the time we practiced safe sex. There was only one occasion when we didn't use protection.

At the time, she was struggling with mental health issues and low self-esteem. Because of that, I felt uncomfortable bringing up my concerns, as I didn't want her to think it had anything to do with her or make her feel worse about herself. Instead, I quietly got tested. Later on, we stopped having sex, not because of my trauma or the testing, but because we had already decided to stop dating and didn't want either of us to become emotionally attached while the other wasn't on the same page.

About a week ago, we were out together and I had been drinking. Unfortunately, I let it slip that I had gotten tested. The way I brought it up was terrible. She immediately shut down and wasn't willing to talk about it. The atmosphere changed completely, so I stopped trying to explain and thought it would be better to give her some space before discussing it properly.

After that, she became noticeably cold toward me. Yesterday, I finally explained everything: my past experience, where my fears came from, and that my decision to get tested had absolutely nothing to do with her.

She told me that it had broken her trust. She felt that I must have seen her as a bad person or someone who could have harmed me, and that it brought up very negative feelings about herself. She said she didn't want to deal with this situation anymore. What hurt even more was that she admitted she had recently started considering me as a potential boyfriend again, but after this happened, those feelings were gone.

She removed me from all social media and asked me not to contact her again, which I have fully respected.

Since then, I've been feeling terrible about myself. I keep replaying everything in my head and thinking about how badly I handled it. The regret is eating me alive.

I didn't just lose the possibility of a girlfriend. I lost a close friend and one of the deepest connections I've ever had with another person. And hurt someone i really cared about.

I understand and respect her decision, and I believe it is final. But I'm struggling with how to cope with the guilt, the regret, and the loss of someone who meant so much to me.

Throwaway account because it's a very sensitive topic for me.

First of all, I had never had problems during sex and had great experiences in general until my last relationship, where I was sexually abused. Since then, I've had problems with performance anxiety and spent 2 years single just trying to process those things.

After those 2 years, I met this hot girl and felt like my power came back again. She was really into me sexually.

We've been dating for almost one month and have had sex multiple times. I won't say I was at my best, but I wasn't that bad at all. She knew about my trauma, and I was upfront about it. I told her that I needed some time to get back to where I used to be and that communication was key for me because it would help both of us.

After the second time, I could tell she wasn't completely satisfied, even though she didn't say it. I asked her what she likes and dislikes in sex and what we could try to make things better for both of us.

I thought she would give me a genuine answer or tell me about techniques or positions she liked before, but instead she told me how much she loved having outdoor sex with her ex. (The relationship ended 3 years ago, and she says she's been single and hasn't had sex since then.)

She talked about how good the sex was and how loud they were. After I asked if she was loud, she answered, "No, he was loud."

She talked about it with passion, and somehow that killed all the progress I had made and destroyed my self-confidence. Since then, I've lost interest in sex in general. It feels like my libido is just gone.

I know some people are very honest about these things, but for me, it was too much. It feels like I'm competing with a ghost.

Am I overreacting? How do I cope with that?