u/PassionChoice3538

We have a house on the East Coast that we try to spend a good amount of the summer at. Our primary residence is in LA, CA so the second home is not somewhere we’re back and forth to throughout the year, it’s basically just a summer home. This year we were there 7 weeks, last year it was closer to 2 months.

We don’t rent it out, but we have family/friends who will pop in and stay there sometimes. We also have a property manager who keeps up the place while we aren’t there.

It’s hard to justify only using the home <2 months out of the year, but when we are there, it’s a very special place to our family. My parents also live out there during the summer so my kids get to be around their grandparents more than usual. We’re not opposed to renting it out just scared of people being disrespectful, damaging, stealing, etc.

We have a house on the East Coast that we try to spend a good amount of the summer at. Our primary residence is in LA, CA so the second home is not somewhere we’re back and forth to throughout the year, it’s basically just a summer home. This year we were there 7 weeks, last year it was closer to 2 months.

We don’t rent it out, but we have family/friends who will pop in and stay there sometimes. We also have a property manager who keeps up the place while we aren’t there.

It’s hard to justify only using the home <2 months out of the year, but when we are there, it’s a very special place to our family. My parents also live out there during the summer so my kids get to be around their grandparents more than usual. We’re not opposed to renting it out just scared of people being disrespectful, damaging, stealing, etc.

My twin boys just turned 6 in June. They’ve been independently wiping since age 4 but I’ve always checked afterward. They are about 50/50 with getting themselves completely clean vs not. I think they’re also just lazy and just want to wipe once and be done. When do we just start trusting them and if they don’t get 100% clean, it is what it is?

My twin boys just turned 6 in June. They’ve been independently wiping since age 4 but I’ve always checked afterward. They are about 50/50 with getting themselves completely clean vs not. I think they’re also just lazy and just want to wipe once and be done. When do we just start trusting them and if they don’t get 100% clean, it is what it is?

To make an incredibly long story short, I had twins in June 2020 and suffered really bad postpartum anxiety and depression. I basically wasn’t able to sleep or care for my kids properly for the first 3 months. I was obviously in therapy and figured out a medication that kept me stable and slowly but surely I started to enjoy my life and my kids. I even had a third in 2023. However, to this day (my twins are 6 years old now), I really struggle with anxiety about my kids’ wellbeing - physically, mentally, emotionally. It isn’t nearly as consistent as it was when I was newly postpartum, but when something triggers it, it gets so hard to manage.

For example, my son had an asthma attack at a day camp last month (I actually posted here about it) and I couldn’t sleep away from him for weeks because I was afraid he was going to have another one and I wouldn’t be able to hear him. I even ordered a finger oxygen monitor for him.

Another example is deciding whether or not to separate my twins into different classes for kindergarten. I have lost sleep over it. I’ve done so much research, posted here multiple times, cried and cried some more. I feel like it isn’t that deep but to me when it comes to my kids, *everything* is.

There’s so much more but I don’t want to make this too long. I just feel like my postpartum anxiety never really resolved itself, I’m so paranoid about my kids’ wellbeing, especially the twins for some reason. I’m not on medication anymore because it was making me have bad mood swings and fatigue, and when I’m feeling good I’m really good. It’s just the triggers that come up that are so hard to manage.

I have 6 year old twin boys. They have a lot of energy, they can be loud, and they can be a little spatially unaware, which is all normal. I *also* have a 3 year old, so I understand the importance of teaching them to be mindful of smaller kids, which they are generally really good about. However, they just turned 6 and they are still very much learning how to exist in the world, and I feel like parents of younger children don’t always understand that. I feel like, in my experience, they generally see my 6 year olds as “big kids” who should be able to control themselves and clutch their pearls when they are a little loud and intense (AKA playing normally for their age).

So for context, we were at the park and my kids were playing some sort of tag game with another little boy. (As a disclaimer, I will always step in if they are being too intense around babies or toddlers and redirect them elsewhere. I promise I was watching this whole situation unfold and I truly don’t think my kids were in the wrong). A mom and her ~1.5 year old daughter were playing on the stairs up to the play structure and I told my kids to walk up the stairs so as to not knock the baby over while they were playing, which they did. Once they got up to the play structure, they would continue with their tag game. They were loud, they were yelling, but it’s a playground. The mom on the stairs would continuously shoot me glares, which made me self conscious so I felt like I had to overly correct my kids, even though IMO they were playing so normally. Then, one of my sons was happily walking (albeit a little fast) down the stairs and this mom sternly goes “There are little kids here. You need to watch out.” I couldn’t believe another parent would talk to my child like that, when he was just playing. She shot me another glare and at that point I called my kids over and told them we were going to go play elsewhere.

I’m just like…the playground says ages 5-12…technically *my* kids are the ones it’s made for and they are being scolded for playing on it. Why can’t we just coexist and give other kids grace and realize that they are ALSO children?

We are staying with my parents this week and they are great grandparents and love my kids but they are still very much stuck in their generation’s ways of handling kids. My twins are newly 6 and they’ve sucked their thumbs since they were in the womb. We’ve always sort of assumed they’d grow out of it and never really attempted to get them to stop. Realizing now that they’re 6 and haven’t grown out of it, my husband and I have started introducing gentle reminders to stop or just redirecting them. We never shame them about it and don’t want them to feel ashamed in any way.

My parents, on the other hand, have been shaming them all week saying things like “your thumb is going to fall off if you keep sucking on it” and “6 year olds don’t suck their thumbs” and (to my 3 year old): “tell your big brother he’s too big to be sucking his thumb!”

I’ve told them our strategy of dealing with it and how I don’t like the shaming. Then my mom gets defensive and says things to me like “I mean come on, they can’t go to elementary school sucking their thumbs it’s ridiculous. You’re their mom you need to get a handle on it”

She’s always been pretty judgmental of the way I parent my kids because it’s clearly very different than hers, but I’m just in a hard spot because I’ve already told her I don’t like what she’s doing and then it just becomes a fight and I drop it because I don’t need that. It’s only a week, and both my parents are otherwise great with them. I just don’t want my kids to internalize their grandparents’ words.

My guys are starting kindergarten next month and the school is adamant we separate them into different classes. They’re staying at the same private school they just finished TK at, so that makes it easier, but they were in the same TK class per my request. I’m anxious about how they’ll do being separate. They’ve never done anything separate before. They are on the same sports teams, in the same activities, have the same friends, etc. Granted, their friends from TK will be divided up into the 2 kinder classes at the school which will hopefully help. I know I need to give them independence from each other but they are attached at the hip so I’m just nervous.

I’m a SAHM of 3 small kids (6, 6, 3) and we live in an affluent area where everyone is either an influencer of some sort or working a high paying job. For this reason, there aren’t a lot of opportunities to meet other mom friends because they are all working and very career oriented (which is great for them!). Also, their kids are in childcare all day long so it’s hard to plan play dates for my kids. I end up feeling like I need to put my older two in camp even though they don’t need to be just so that they have interaction with other kids their age over the summer. Like, even the parks only have babies and small toddlers during the day. And those kids are with nannies. We are definitely outliers here.

Anyone else?

Hello all, we would like to take our 6 year olds on a manageable bike ride, ideally somewhere we don’t have to drive 30 minutes just to even access a trail. We are not a biking family by any means but we want to get better, and I know there are a lot of great bike trails on the cape to practice but I’m overwhelmed by the options and just generally not knowing the area too well yet.

Our 6 year olds can ride bikes, but I don’t trust them in the road or around traffic yet so I’m hoping to find something flat and away from cars. Also obviously they’re 6 so they can’t do a 25 mile ride or anything. Just looking for something short and scenic. Thanks for any ideas!

Update: thank you all, I just ordered a travel Nanit

It’s late, I know. But I can’t sleep. One of my twins (6yo) had an asthma attack that landed him in the hospital a few days ago which I posted about. We are away from home at our summer house and we don’t have a monitor here. I know he’s 6 and probably “too old” for a monitor, but after his first ever asthma attack when he was 4 and I was alone with the kids in the middle of the night and literally thought I was going to lose him, I can’t imagine not being able to hear or see him at night. After this latest ambulance/hospital situation with him, and having no monitor at this house, I literally cannot sleep unless I’m next to him. I’ve tried. And even when I am next to him, I’m still up multiple times throughout the night making sure he’s breathing. I know it’s probably so ridiculous but that’s just how my anxiety is. I don’t know how or when I’ll stop being scared of sleeping away from him. My husband keeps asking me to please trust that he’s okay and his asthma attack was just because of the smoke and bad air here and we are fine inside, and I literally know that, but for some reason my mind won’t let me sleep. Ugh.

We are on Cape Cod for the month and for the past few days the air quality has been unhealthy (AQI 150+) due to the wildfire smoke from Canada. My kids were in a baseball camp this week and one of my sons (6) actually had an asthma attack that landed him in the hospital on Wednesday (this was before we knew the extent of the poor air quality and I totally blame myself for not taking it more seriously). Since then, I have been really paranoid and monitoring the AQI frequently.

Even still, nothing is being cancelled. Their camp continued for the rest of the week even though we kept our kids home. They are also planning on having the all star Cape league baseball game today still even though the AQI currently is 151. I’m so disappointed because we really wanted to take our kids, but I don’t feel comfortable being out in the poor air with them especially with my kid with asthma.

We’ve basically been inside for days, yet others are continuing on as normal. Am I being dramatic? Is it okay to go watch a baseball game in this poor air quality?

My youngest son just turned 3 in May and we got him potty trained pretty quickly after that. He took to it easily and had one accident the first week then was solid. We thought we were in the clear, he literally had less accidents than one of our 6 year olds who still struggles getting to the toilet on time. Fast forward to this week, he’s had an accident at least once a day. Usually it’s pee but he’s pooped in his underwear once this week too. He was doing SO WELL telling us when he had to go and this week he’ll just randomly start peeing his pants as if he’s wearing a diaper. I have no idea what’s going on. Is this normal? Does anyone have any advice??

My youngest son just turned 3 in May and we got him potty trained pretty quickly after that. He took to it easily and had one accident the first week then was solid. We thought we were in the clear, he literally had less accidents than one of our 6 year olds who still struggles getting to the toilet on time. Fast forward to this week, he’s had an accident at least once a day. Usually it’s pee but he’s pooped in his underwear once this week too. He was doing SO WELL telling us when he had to go and this week he’ll just randomly start peeing his pants as if he’s wearing a diaper. I have no idea what’s going on. Is this normal? Does anyone have any advice??

…and that is why I feel like this generation has lost the plot on parenting. Context: yesterday for 4th of July we were swimming in the waterfront outside my parent’s house with some friends. One of my twins (6 years old) was trying to stand up and “surf” on his boogie board. He fell off once and the board launched up and hit my friend’s 3 year old who was wading nearby. Obviously this wasn’t my son’s fault but I went over to him and calmly explained that he needs to be more aware of his surroundings and if he wants to do the surfing thing he needs to move over to x. Usually this would’ve been no biggie and he would move over, but I think with all the excitement and sugar high he was more dysregulated so it became a fight. I told him he can either move over or he can put the boogie board away. He then goes back to where he was in the water and I see him start to do it again. I go and pull him out (not forcefully) and tell him he needs to take a break since he can’t listen right now. He’s crying. My friend tells me “no it’s okay he doesn’t need to get out we’ll move over” I was like thank you but that’s not the point. Then I hear another one of my mom friends go “oh poor buddy…” and it just sounded really condescending like I had done something wrong and I should’ve just continued to let him do that and have other people move for him.

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt wrong for disciplining my kids just one example. I feel like soo many parents these days are so passive in their parenting and will tell their kids not to do something but won’t actually put in any effort to stop a behavior because they’re so afraid of emotionally scarring them, so then I look crazy when I do.

I have twin boys who just turned 6. They are the cutest, silliest, funniest, best little boys ever (to me). I love spending time with them and being with them. They just finished full day TK and we got into a routine with it but now on summer vacation I can’t imagine them being gone all day again. I feel like time is going by so, so fast and this is my favorite age ever with them. I don’t want to miss anything. But at the same time, I don’t want *them* to miss out on anything. I go back and forth with wanting to be selfish and keep them with me as long as possible while they’re cute, innocent, and little and letting them go (to school, summer day camps, etc). They are so social and like school so far and we have a good school community but it hurts me to send them all day M-F and then only have a few hours with them before bedtime and most of those hours are just rushing trying to get through everything like dinner, homework, bath 😟

I have twins who turned 6 years old recently and we’re having a birthday party at home for them (their request - I suggested a beach party but after we had my toddler’s party at our house they have been adamant about having theirs at home as well). We have a small pool (it’s more like a plunge pool) and a lot of entertaining space that’s more suited for adult parties like lots of sitting/lounging space. We don’t really have an actual yard so there’s no space for a bounce house bigger than a toddler sized one. I’d be willing to extend the party into our living area so that the kids aren’t confined to our small backyard and little pool but not sure what we’d even do in there. I’m also not down for a bunch of little kids running rampant through our house so I want to keep the party contained if possible. I just don’t feel like we have the layout for a fun kids’ birthday party lol. It was fine for the toddler party because we did swimming, a toddler inflatable bounce house, and water table stuff. 6 year olds just tend to get bored easily (speaking from experience lol) and they are bigger and more chaotic. Any ideas what I can do to keep them entertained?

My twins (turned 6 today) have a baseball game tomorrow that starts at 4:30pm and usually they are an hour and a half but it could go up to two hours. I scheduled a birthday dinner at a fun Mexican restaurant with family after their game, but I’m wondering if it’s going to be too much and too late. I don’t want them to be grouchy and overstimulated at something that should be fun. Their normal bedtime is 7:30 and they wake up early no matter what time they go to bed, hence why bedtime is so early because they are cranky the next day if they don’t sleep enough. Anyway I’m just wondering what to do. They are going to be sooo upset if I end up rescheduling, but I do feel like not even getting to dinner until 7 is going to be a lot for them and my toddler who is 3 😬

This is not necessarily a “granola” question but thought I’d get input here anyway. My twins (turned 6 today) have a baseball game tomorrow that starts at 4:30pm and usually they are an hour and a half but it could go up to two hours. I scheduled a birthday dinner at a fun Mexican restaurant with family after their game, but I’m wondering if it’s going to be too much and too late. I don’t want them to be grouchy and overstimulated at something that should be fun. Their normal bedtime is 7:30 and they wake up early no matter what time they go to bed, hence why bedtime is so early because they are cranky the next day if they don’t sleep enough. Anyway I’m just wondering what to do. They are going to be sooo upset if I end up rescheduling, but I do feel like not even getting to dinner until 7 is going to be a lot for them and my toddler who is 3 😬

Tomorrow my twin boys turn 6 years old. The day/night before their birthday is usually an emotional one for me and every other year I’ve cuddled them to sleep. Tonight though my husband and I are going to the World Cup with our friends. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and we’re excited! But I’m also feeling so so sad that I’m leaving my kids with a sitter the night before their birthday 🥲 I made the mistake of telling them I’m sad about it and now I’m hoping that doesn’t make it harder for them tonight. Ugh I’m such a mess over this I want to just have fun and not think about it tonight but that also makes me feel horrible! Anyway just needed somewhere to vent, I think my husband is tired of hearing about it.