u/PinkBatlemonade

4th of July it’s 1am I’m ranting but F This bs seriously I’m sorry but. I used to be so close to all my aunts and uncles growing up and my cousins we used to be knit but sometime in high school it became a bullying situation that turned into straight shh talking about me behind my back. Due to my upbringing and home school background. Now I’m 21 and I get treated like a 12 year old but my actual baby cousins who just graduated HS are being treated better than me. My baby cousin asked if I wanted to do shots and she’s underage and I’m not but I was like no I need to drive my family home thank you though and she goes “ haha she said no of course she did she’s so innocent” I’m so fuc annoyed seriously I hate going around my family it’s the same sh every time I leave feeling like sh.

Like that gut feeling you know they talk about how weird you are and your the home school kid sheltered. And they make it so obviously they do it.

I hate my parents for making me the freak of the family,

“ are you as wild as you’re crazy mother? When she was your age ommmmmg you were doing some crazy sh”

Like no… and why is that such a huge deal like leave me alone I’m sitting here being humiliated.

Every time I go around them I swear it’ll be different that I’m literally almost 22 and still being treated like a fully mentally disabled person. I can understand what you’re saying? Hello?

QUESTION: HOW DO I KEEP MEN from talking to me on public transport... it's gotten so bad I had I was getting on the light rail and before the light rail even stopped the man licked his lips and smiled I started walking to a different car so fast.

TODAY I was on the buss to work and a man keep turning fully around and looking me up and down
And when we finally stops he gets up and walks over to my seat and goes " 1 really like ur shirt"
I was wearing an all black shirt grey jacket and hood and black pants and shoes... IN 90° weather to avoid this!!!
I'm trying to stay calm so I go " oh thanks" and go back to my phone. And he proceeded to say " I really like ur voice"
Shivers
I got off the buss and walked to the nearest public store entrance

Back in the last week of may a guy got up on the light rail and kept getting In people’s faces yelling and when he almost got me a guy told him to sit down so that started a verbal fight. Another man said “welcome to the city” I was born and raised here but growing up we only took the light rails and buss for public events so I’m new to riding alone.

I’m 21F I’ve been told by strangers daily I look 15-16
My car engine died and I still owe money on it so I can’t afford a new car right now so I’ve been taking public transport to get to work and my internship. It’s been so stressful.

So tomorrow is the crane wives boulder concert. I’ve been excited since I got tickets. Yesterday my engine was shot and died 😭 I’m all the way in Denver and while I take RTD all the time I’ve never taken it 3 HOURS to boulder. And to get it back is freaking me out.

So I’m eating the money I guess 😩
I’m so sad!

My family got me off lex when I was clearly doing good and said I stay humble and I’m no longer mean ( I was setting boundaries)

And so far
I’ve quit my internship at the aquarium
Reason:
My engine was shot and I can’t not have a panic attack thinking about walking downtown and taking the train at 3am to be clocked in at 6am lol

I quit my $22 an hour job at an office with all men because they said a lot of things… and I was a sobbing mess after every shift. I now work retail :/ My co worker said “ *name* can you come here for second” and it felt like my nerve system was shot I went mute all day.

I’ve quit concert plans I made last year

I’m a huge mess. I lost insurance. So I can’t get back on lexapro lol

SOOOO what about yall lol

:( my training was alot less hands on then I thought so I got thrown in and when I clock in I’m by my self.

Yesterday I was told I was gonna prep meat by my self and I’ll be honest I’ve only ever watched or helped usually everything is done by time I clock in and I grab and go. I have my notes and pictures but I’m not feeling very confident going into the prep kitchen and just grabbing what I need.

Much less if I remember how to do it… I’m a muscle memory type learner and my trainer is not she made me watch them we moved on and assumed that was all I needed.

So over all I’m kinda having an anxiety attack not really sure what to do every attempt at asking my trainer to clarify is back firing and I’m at my wits end but there’s no other AZA zoo in my state and I cannot afford to lose out on my chance to get in through the door for vol I just thought it was gonna be better then this… everyone else seems so nice and great at training. Idk what’s going on on my end.

I tried telling my vol coordinator but I kinda got a response of “ everyone feels this way you’ll gain confidence soon”

:(

I have a solid ground on my resume I’m just trying to build experience in an actual zoo now WHY IS IT going so wrong.

:( my training was alot less hands on then I thought so I got thrown in and when I clock in I’m by my self.

Yesterday I was told I was gonna prep meat by my self and I’ll be honest I’ve only ever watched or helped usually everything is done by time I clock in and I grab and go. I have my notes and pictures but I’m not feeling very confident going into the prep kitchen and just grabbing what I need.

Much less if I remember how to do it… I’m a muscle memory type learner and my trainer is not she made me watch them we moved on and assumed that was all I needed.

So over all I’m kinda having an anxiety attack not really sure what to do every attempt at asking my trainer to clarify is back firing and I’m at my wits end but there’s no other AZA zoo in my state and I cannot afford to lose out on my chance to get in through the door for vol I just thought it was gonna be better then this… everyone else seems so nice and great at training. Idk what’s going on on my end.

I tried telling my vol coordinator but I kinda got a response of “ everyone feels this way you’ll gain confidence soon”

:(

I have a solid ground on my resume I’m just trying to build experience in an actual zoo now WHY IS IT going so wrong.

I was joking around with my parents and they called me rebellious and I was like “ LOL I’m not rebellious” and then it turned into a lecture about how I’m an adult and how I don’t know how to cook for my self ( was never taught). And they asked me why I haven’t figured out how to do shit myself. They then proceeded to tell me how they were kicked out of the house and they figured everything out them selves ( I’m the eldest child the two eldest child parents )

💀😩 LIKE HELLLO? Do they not understand what they are saying?

Likeeee did they forget I was homeschooled form first grade to 12th grade HELLLO?

I just got up and left the room. Before I started a fight lol.

It’s Friday night I just got off work. There’s an entirely new energy drink in my system so my anxiety is high. I thought we were having a good laugh having a good time and then it just switched.

It’s like they basically asked “ why do suck so much” OH UM let me turn the mirror around 🪞🤡
Mind you they have four other kids who they are currently home schooling that are in their own rooms ALL day. But when I was their age I was in my shared bedroom taking care of babies all day.
SO IDK why I haven’t figured it out HMMM.

Pisses me off.

I work at a pet store and I’m in the ANIMAL department.
From 430 to 8 I was in aquatics catching fish all night and helping people set up their first fish tank. I was supposed to leave at 8 o’clock.

I still had to close reptiles, aquatics department , small animals department,
are wellness room in the back, our quarantine room which has animals that need medication‘s every night.

Sooo I am severely behind right… I make the hard choice to stop taking customers and to start closing animals at 8:43 a customer comes up to me asking for a rat. ( this is where I messed up personally.)

I unfortunately tell him due to the callout situation. It’s put us a bit behind and I still need to close all the animals by my self.
( I should’ve just taken the damn customer)

They say OK and that they’ll be back tomorrow.

PERFECT because the whole adopting an animal from a pet store takes about 30 minutes since I genuinely take the time to make sure the ANIMALs are going to a set up enclosure, a proper enclosure, and if they need anything, I can help them build their shopping basket with correct products that won’t harm an animal.

Making sure the customer is satisfied on their knowledge what the rats personality has been like with us. If they’ve needed vet care how they’ve been eating. Etc. Then the paperwork itself this takes about 30 minutes.

ITS 8:43 we close at 9pm I was supposed to leave at 8 o’clock

:)))

So after they walk away I Start closing down the department.
I see my co worker come up to me “ he’s selling them the rat…”

Excuse me… I look over and there is the keyholder supervisor closing tonight boxing up the rat signing the paperwork for them. It’s 8:55pm OMFG

He’s supposed to be helping face the store because we need to be out of the store at 9:30 LATEST AND HE NEEDS TO CLOSE AS A MANGER. He’s a planogram supervisor. He doesn’t know shit about animals.

Instead of helping his team that’s severely behind and my coworker just confided. He’s on the verge of a panic attack with the amount of tasks that need to be done. WHY ARE YOU SELLING A RAT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING?

I told my coworker let’s prioritize the most important things first then we’ll meet up and see what needs to be done.
I tell him to breathe and that it’s going to be OK. We got this. I closed the animals.
Fast forward it’s 9:40 PM. He’s still closing drawers hasn’t helped on the floor once when it comes to facing the store, go backs, trash, sweeping or mopping.
ITS A GIANT STORE. It’s not a small corner store.

I sign off on my computer saying I took care of all the animals for legal reasons of course. And I start SPEEDING TO HELP my co worker with the store tasks that are left.

he’s finishing counting cash in the MANAGER‘s office still.

He comes out at 10pm tells me he sold the rat
I go I know… I saw.
At this point, I’m extremely tired. I was supposed to go home at eight. I’ve been there since 12.

He tells me they were very distraught and they seemed very lovely. ( the rat customers)

I tell him it doesn’t really matter. I’m glad they were nice people, but it was five minutes till closing and your team needed you. Respectfully, they should’ve come back tomorrow. We still had an entire store to close. Good job you brought profit of seven dollars…. Not only that but you didn’t tell me you were selling an animal. You should’ve waited for ANIMAL staff to do it so you could prioritize your team. Offered to help take some responsibility so the customer could leave satisfied. but no you did it behind my back.

He rolls his eyes and says “ sorry what should I have done.“

I look at him like tf dude. Did I not just tell you?!

So instead, I say out loud
“
You know what you can ask that to the ANIMAL MANAGER tomorrow since you think you need more training since you just asked me what you need to do when I’ve shown you what to do multiple times in these situations.”

He rolled his eyes started a a sarcastic apologies, but cut it off and walked away.

This is the part I shouldn’t have done is I texted my manager my direct ANIMAL MANAGER. Told her how stressful the closing night was my coworker was on the verge of a panic attack. And how I was supposed to leave at 8 o’clock and it was 10 PM. And what this key holder did.

Of course I didn’t expect a response 10 o’clock at night, but I got a text back this morning saying

“ I didn’t respond because I was asleep. We can talk about it when you come in if you want. “

Like fuuuuck why did I send that I hate confrontation!

I just hate people stepping on my toes even more..
he is so disrespectful I guess nights like this are pretty normal he leaves everyone else to do the hard work while he takes 40 minutes to count cash. But doesn’t communicate any timing whatsoever…. And I guess selling animals 10 mins till closing on a skeleton crew is pretty normal but again he doesn’t communicate a plan of action.

THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER DO AN ANIMAL SALE THAT late IS A FERRET There’s way too much money in profit in that sale to let them walk through the door and most of the time people who want a very expensive animal are willing to talk for 30 minutes to do paperwork lol.

I’m FRUSTRATED. I COULDN’T SLEEP ALL NIGHT.

I wanted to call in, but that would just make it look worse I’m just tired my feet hurt and they ache all the way up to my stomach I did 25,000 steps yesterday in nine hours. It’s the same shift tonight. I’m going for strangle my self.

Hiii I’m 21 this is about my Apple Card credit debt. I’m kind of ranting and reaching out for help since I’m stupid and fell for the oldest trick in the book with debt.

I fell into a bad depression and went unemployed for a year it was hard a- to find a new job when ur constantly thinking about mental episodes. This is about now tho… I’m getting paid bi weekly 18.50 an hour averaging 24 to 36 hours a week depending on how my bosses likes me…
My bills are very VERY CHEAP since I live with my parents ( they are Saints, I would’ve kicked myself out already if I seen my kids debt while not paying rent)
I basically just pay my car my phone bill and my electric bill due to my exotic pets. I pay for my insurance and car combined is 473 a month I owe 8000 left.

My electric bill is $200 a month ( I own exotic animals)

I canceled as many subscriptions as I could find but I wanna say on average I was spending about $100 a month on streaming services or subscriptions in general… I cut as many as I could legit before writing this because I’m in a panic episode. The deal in my family is I pay for everyone’s subscriptions streaming wise and do the house work and maintenance and I get to stay here

I spend a little over $50+ a month on animal food. Like cat food is $40 snake food every few weeks is $13 for frozen rodents my other animals I breed bugs and or have a bucket full of micro organisms to feed to my marine life

… so like 900…. A month… fak

I get paid bi weekly either $900 if my hours were low and 1,040 if my boss gave me 36 hours ish due to taxes

Anyway I haven’t been able to make a dent in my credit card debt AT ALL.
I’m at 4k CONSTANTLY since I got employed again. ( this is the part where you’re reading going how did you rack up that much not paying rent unemployed…. And i’m judging myself with you.) the interest will be about $50
As of the 31st i’ve never missed a minimum payment before so this is my first time paying interest.

The worst thing happened my car engine stopped working LITERALLY YESTERDAY due to the timing chain … -3k i dont have available at all because my credit card is constantly maxed out…
Im currently driving my dad’s old truck I filled up the gas today since it was on empty and it was $104… I obviously didn’t have that so it went on the credit… I need to get to work and he said if I use the truck, I gotta fill it up… so… I filled it up … because I need to get to work

I’m stuck I don’t know what to do and I don’t think I understand how to keep up with it. Or how to budget…
My parents kind of have a figure it out mentality… so asking them gets into a debate real quickly about how dumb I am which I don’t disagree with, but it’s still not helpful for making a plan since I don’t understand what I’m doing…

🤪 the duh comments to my self “Cool I eat beans and rice and dollar bread, PB&J‘s maybe soup if I can make that last.

I’ll come straight home after work
Do not buy that energy drink before or after work that’s 2.99 per can don’t fall for the buy two get one free… DRINK TEA YOU YOU HAVE AT HOME YOU’LL BE FINE THROW ICE IF YOU WANT A COLD DRINK IN THE SUMMER.”

Okay okay so this is what my mind is telling me. HOW AM I NOT STICKING TO THAT.
I need to start paying off this debt and saving to move out to keep me straight…

I’m crashing out.

Help.
I’m looking into a second job.
I’m a intern at at an aquarium and I’m a part time employee at a retail job.
I was trying Instacart for a few days but then I realized I’m earning almost $20 per order and it takes an hour and a half per order because your grocery shopping for someone else… and the car needs gas and it wears it down. Then my car timing chain broke ….

I’m ranting lol I probably need therapy but I can’t afford that right now. It’s not in the budget that doesn’t exist currently but it will. 😗

A few times this week I’ve had people come in saying we manipulatively signed up their elderly parents into auto shipments for the wrong dog food.

Or that they weren’t asked and they signed them up without asking.

Every co worker I ask has told me they are asking before signing up for auto shipping. So my guess is people aren’t paying attention to what the offer actually is…

The wrong dog food being Auto ship is annoying though I don’t blame them.

I wish the whole thing didn’t exist it’s just creating more problems