Like it’s not rocket science or even higher math. It’s a very simple concept you get taught in primary school. But it genuinely amazes me how many guys I meet who can’t multiply 2/3 by 1/6. I’m 20, but still, the general education system is really failing us
I’m trying to figure out whether I’m on the right track with my relationship, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.
We've been dating for little over than a year now and in official relationship for about 5 months now.
We're both very messed up people, but I still really love him and I genuinely want to understand him better, and part of me wants us to get back together.
When I first met him, I thought he was a player. I thought he was emotionally manipulative, enjoyed having girls obsessed with him, and was basically someone who liked having power over people. Weirdly, that was part of what attracted me to him. I’ve always been drawn to intensity and people who challenge me. So I wasn't very serious about him, and while we were dating I was casually meeting other people and going on dates. My friends and family don't know that he even exists while he introduced me to his family and I even hung out with his mother. I was in deep depression when I met him so it felt like a good distraction and better alternative than actual sh.
I later realized he might not actually be the cold mastermind I imagined him to be. He seems extremely lonely and insecure and seems to need a lot of affection and reassurance. He has used girls for attention, but I also think he became emotionally attached to some of them. So now I’m questioning whether I completely misunderstood him.
The biggest issue has been his ex.
When we first met he told me that he has never been in a relationship before. He used to be so proud about how I am his first everything all throughout our relationship. But i found out just few days ago that he had been in a relationship before me and that he was talking to his ex while also taking advantage of another girl just before we started talking. He approached me online first in august and he ended things with his ex and that other girl around the end of july. The ex left him for another guy, and the other girl was just someone he used to seek comfort and an ear to listen to him. During this time he had pancreatic cancer and lost a best friend of years to homicide so it was a dark time for him.
Few days ago (august 2026), I woke up to a text message from an old classmate saying that my bf is saying "I love you" to his ex. There were screenshots of his saying things like "maybe i will never be able to love someone the way i love you again".
When i confronted him about it, he said that the ex tried to contact him in march(2026) and he turned her off. Then found out that she attempted se in may through her friends and they started talking. He went to outside her place drunk crying and apologizing but with no intent of getting back together. I saw the screenshots and she clearly wanted him back. She even sent stuff like "i died for you. I did it to prove that i love you" and tried to talk to him many times. He has an experience of being in the courtroom after a girl took her life away after he didn't pick up the phone when he was just a sophomore year student in highschool (facts). And he explained that he only said those things because he was feeling immense guilt and worried she would attempt again. Idk if im buying that, because he could've told her that he is with someone else now or told me what was happening. We weren't exactly in a great place when this was happening as I was constantly trying to break up with him all throughout our relationship. (Turns out I'm a huge avoidant) But it's true that he is afraid of people in his life passing away because during the one year ive been with him and he was in chemo treatment, another one of his best friends died.
I don't know the whole story because they were both editing out what they said and sending only screenshots of few messages and I didn't get to see the whole conversation.
So I'm struggling with two separate things: I don't necessarily expect him to have never loved anyone before me because he has been putting in a lot of energy and effort into our relationship. Everytime i walked off or pushed him back, he ran after me. He shows strong signs of anxious attachment. But he is a pathological liar. He lies about the most unnecessary stuff and i learned to only believe things with proof. I understand that people can still have complicated feelings about an ex. What hurts me most is that he hid it and lied about it. It makes me wonder what else I don't know.
He also loves sympathy. He had written a letter for me in his own blood he deliberately extracted using sewing needles and bruised his wrists. Then when i wasn't giving him enough attention he hit his wrist on ceramics to make it worse and sent the photo to me to guilttrip me. He does very manipulative things sometimes.
Okay but here's where I have to be honest about myself too. I'm not the perfect victim. I feel like I might even be the "bad" one in this relationship.
I've spent a lot of my life trying to present myself as this innocent, sweet, pure person. I don't drink or smoke, I have strong opinions about cheating, and I think I've used those things to construct an image of myself.
But romantically, I've actually behaved very differently.
I've dated quite a few people before him, but I rarely became emotionally invested or count them as a real relationship because i never liked them back no matter how much i was loved by those other people. There were people who were extremely into me and would give me affection, gifts, compliments, emotional support, etc. I mostly accepted all of it without giving the same emotional investment back. Sometimes I basically let people think we were in a serious relationship when I didn't feel that way myself. I would eventually lose interest, disappear, ghost them, or leave for someone else.
I knew, on some level, that I was hurting people, but I justified it by telling myself that those weren't “real relationships” because I didn't actually love them.
I'm realizing now that this was unfair and that I was also hiding behind a certain image of myself.
So I don't want to sit here and pretend that he's the dishonest one and I'm completely innocent. I'm not. I tried to manipulate him manu times and gotten back with him after an argument with the sole purpose or hurting him. Letting him believe that i was giving effort and falling in love so that he could give me his v card and introduce me to his family and friends just so i could leave him in despair.
But i fell in love in the process. I genuinely believe that loving someone has nothing to do with wanting to possess the other person or want things from them. If he doesn't want to be with me, I'll just love him from afar. I was hurt he lied to me and cared for another girl. But i don't necessarily stop loving him for something like this. I want to love him in a way i would accept that he has problems and just wish him the best. I dont think i will ever be able to like someone as much as i love him considering my past experience. At least in another 5 years.
That's actually one of the reasons I want to talk to him. I want to tell him that I've been hiding parts of myself too and that I don't want either of us to keep performing some version of ourselves for the other person.
At the same time, I don't know what “being in a relationship” actually means for us.
When I first got together with him, I thought being in a relationship meant that he had chosen me romantically and that I would be the person he invested most of his emotional energy into. I didn't necessarily expect him to stop talking to every other girl or stop having friendships. I just wanted our relationship to feel special and emotionally deeper than his other relationships.
Should we be exclusive? (He expressed he wants exclusivity after all of this happened but im not sure if thats actually what he wants because he went to his ex after all. What counts as cheating? Are friendships with other people completely normal? How much should we tell each other? What does emotional intimacy with other people mean?
And now I don't know if I can fully trust him again.
Even if we get back together, I worry that I'll constantly wonder what he's doing with his friends, whether he's talking to other girls, whether he's still emotionally attached to someone else, or whether our relationship is enough for him.
At the same time, there are things about our relationship that make me question whether we were actually compatible in the first place.
We wanted to be extremely close to each other all the time. But when we were actually texting or talking, sometimes we had nothing to say. The relationship became increasingly centered around telling each other how much we loved each other, reassurance, dates, and romantic intensity.
What I actually seem to want is something more ordinary and spacious: hanging out, talking about random ideas, learning things together, being able to express myself freely, having our own lives, and still feeling like we're choosing each other.
I don't want to feel suffocated by a relationship, but I also don't want to feel emotionally neglected.
And I think I'm attracted to intensity in a way that might not always be healthy. I've previously been attracted to people specifically because they were manipulative, confusing, difficult, or emotionally intense.
So now I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I don't want to blindly get back together with him just because I love him.
But I also don't want to walk away simply because our relationship became messy when maybe we never actually established what we wanted from each other.
My current plan is to talk to him honestly, tell him that I've been hiding things too, and then ask him what he actually thinks a relationship with me means. What does he want? Does he want exclusivity? What does loyalty mean to him? What does he expect from me? What does he need from me? And what does he think we should be allowed to have outside the relationship?
Then I want to tell him what I want and see whether those things actually match.
Am I approaching this the right way?
He has been begging me to take him back.
​
I’m trying to figure out whether I’m on the right track with my relationship, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.
We've been dating for little over than a year now and in official relationship for about 5 months now.
We're both very messed up people, but I still really love him and I genuinely want to understand him better, and part of me wants us to get back together.
When I first met him, I thought he was a player. I thought he was emotionally manipulative, enjoyed having girls obsessed with him, and was basically someone who liked having power over people. Weirdly, that was part of what attracted me to him. I’ve always been drawn to intensity and people who challenge me. So I wasn't very serious about him, and while we were dating I was casually meeting other people and going on dates. My friends and family don't know that he even exists while he introduced me to his family and I even hung out with his mother. I was in deep depression when I met him so it felt like a good distraction and better alternative than actual sh.
I later realized he might not actually be the cold mastermind I imagined him to be. He seems extremely lonely and insecure and seems to need a lot of affection and reassurance. He has used girls for attention, but I also think he became emotionally attached to some of them. So now I’m questioning whether I completely misunderstood him.
The biggest issue has been his ex.
When we first met he told me that he has never been in a relationship before. He used to be so proud about how I am his first everything all throughout our relationship. But i found out just few days ago that he had been in a relationship before me and that he was talking to his ex while also taking advantage of another girl just before we started talking. He approached me online first in august and he ended things with his ex and that other girl around the end of july. The ex left him for another guy, and the other girl was just someone he used to seek comfort and an ear to listen to him. During this time he had pancreatic cancer and lost a best friend of years to homicide so it was a dark time for him.
Few days ago (august 2026), I woke up to a text message from an old classmate saying that my bf is saying "I love you" to his ex. There were screenshots of his saying things like "maybe i will never be able to love someone the way i love you again".
When i confronted him about it, he said that the ex tried to contact him in march(2026) and he turned her off. Then found out that she attempted se in may through her friends and they started talking. He went to outside her place drunk crying and apologizing but with no intent of getting back together. I saw the screenshots and she clearly wanted him back. She even sent stuff like "i died for you. I did it to prove that i love you" and tried to talk to him many times. He has an experience of being in the courtroom after a girl took her life away after he didn't pick up the phone when he was just a sophomore year student in highschool (facts). And he explained that he only said those things because he was feeling immense guilt and worried she would attempt again. Idk if im buying that, because he could've told her that he is with someone else now or told me what was happening. We weren't exactly in a great place when this was happening as I was constantly trying to break up with him all throughout our relationship. (Turns out I'm a huge avoidant) But it's true that he is afraid of people in his life passing away because during the one year ive been with him and he was in chemo treatment, another one of his best friends died.
I don't know the whole story because they were both editing out what they said and sending only screenshots of few messages and I didn't get to see the whole conversation.
So I'm struggling with two separate things: I don't necessarily expect him to have never loved anyone before me because he has been putting in a lot of energy and effort into our relationship. Everytime i walked off or pushed him back, he ran after me. He shows strong signs of anxious attachment. But he is a pathological liar. He lies about the most unnecessary stuff and i learned to only believe things with proof. I understand that people can still have complicated feelings about an ex. What hurts me most is that he hid it and lied about it. It makes me wonder what else I don't know.
He also loves sympathy. He had writers a letter for me in his own blood he deliberately extracted using sewing needles and bruised his wrists. Then when i wasn't giving him enough attention he hit his wrist on ceramics to make it worse and sent the photo to me to guilttrip me. He does very manipulative things sometimes.
Okay but here's where I have to be honest about myself too. I'm not the perfect victim. I feel like I might even be the "bad" one in this relationship.
I've spent a lot of my life trying to present myself as this innocent, sweet, pure person. I don't drink or smoke, I have strong opinions about cheating, and I think I've used those things to construct an image of myself.
But romantically, I've actually behaved very differently.
I've dated quite a few people before him, but I rarely became emotionally invested or count them as a real relationship because i never liked them back no matter how much i was loved by those other people. There were people who were extremely into me and would give me affection, gifts, compliments, emotional support, etc. I mostly accepted all of it without giving the same emotional investment back. Sometimes I basically let people think we were in a serious relationship when I didn't feel that way myself. I would eventually lose interest, disappear, ghost them, or leave for someone else.
I knew, on some level, that I was hurting people, but I justified it by telling myself that those weren't “real relationships” because I didn't actually love them.
I'm realizing now that this was unfair and that I was also hiding behind a certain image of myself.
So I don't want to sit here and pretend that he's the dishonest one and I'm completely innocent. I'm not. I tried to manipulate him manu times and gotten back with him after an argument with the sole purpose or hurting him. Letting him believe that i was giving effort and falling in love so that he could give me his v card and introduce me to his family and friends just so i could leave him in despair.
But i fell in love in the process. I genuinely believe that loving someone has nothing to do with wanting to possess the other person or want things from them. If he doesn't want to be with me, I'll just love him from afar. I was hurt he lied to me and cared for another girl. But i don't necessarily stop loving him for something like this. I want to love him in a way i would accept that he has problems and just wish him the best. I dont think i will ever be able to like someone as much as i love him considering my past experience. At least in another 5 years.
That's actually one of the reasons I want to talk to him. I want to tell him that I've been hiding parts of myself too and that I don't want either of us to keep performing some version of ourselves for the other person.
At the same time, I don't know what “being in a relationship” actually means for us.
When I first got together with him, I thought being in a relationship meant that he had chosen me romantically and that I would be the person he invested most of his emotional energy into. I didn't necessarily expect him to stop talking to every other girl or stop having friendships. I just wanted our relationship to feel special and emotionally deeper than his other relationships.
Should we be exclusive? (He expressed he wants exclusivity after all of this happened but im not sure if thats actually what he wants because he went to his ex after all. What counts as cheating? Are friendships with other people completely normal? How much should we tell each other? What does emotional intimacy with other people mean?
And now I don't know if I can fully trust him again.
Even if we get back together, I worry that I'll constantly wonder what he's doing with his friends, whether he's talking to other girls, whether he's still emotionally attached to someone else, or whether our relationship is enough for him.
At the same time, there are things about our relationship that make me question whether we were actually compatible in the first place.
We wanted to be extremely close to each other all the time. But when we were actually texting or talking, sometimes we had nothing to say. The relationship became increasingly centered around telling each other how much we loved each other, reassurance, dates, and romantic intensity.
What I actually seem to want is something more ordinary and spacious: hanging out, talking about random ideas, learning things together, being able to express myself freely, having our own lives, and still feeling like we're choosing each other.
I don't want to feel suffocated by a relationship, but I also don't want to feel emotionally neglected.
And I think I'm attracted to intensity in a way that might not always be healthy. I've previously been attracted to people specifically because they were manipulative, confusing, difficult, or emotionally intense.
So now I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I don't want to blindly get back together with him just because I love him.
But I also don't want to walk away simply because our relationship became messy when maybe we never actually established what we wanted from each other.
My current plan is to talk to him honestly, tell him that I've been hiding things too, and then ask him what he actually thinks a relationship with me means. What does he want? Does he want exclusivity? What does loyalty mean to him? What does he expect from me? What does he need from me? And what does he think we should be allowed to have outside the relationship?
Then I want to tell him what I want and see whether those things actually match.
He has been begging me to take him back*
TLDR: He emotionally cheated on me. Im not innocent either. How should i handle this situation?
Am I approaching this the right way?
Hey all,
I'm looking into getting a proper psychiatric evaluation for narcissistic and antisocial personality traits
A few things I'm trying to figure out. First of all where do people actually go for this in Mongolia? Is it only through semut, or are there private psychologists/clinics that do personality assessments?
Do clinics here actually treat personality disorders, or is it mostly medication management for other conditions with personality stuff left untouched?
Also how does diagnosis get recorded? If i get formally diagnosed does that go into some centralized/national health record system? Can it affect things like employment background checks, insurance, visas or anything else down the line?
Would really appreciate hearing from anyone with firsthand experience thanks
I feel bad when i hurt my younger siblings. They're only teenagers so i understand that even the slightest stress can have humongous effect on them. And i can have some problems with voice tone or being little unfair with house chores. But when it comes to other people i rarely feel anything for them. I never feel fully responsible for hurting others. Especially when it comes to guys that have fallen for me. They cry and beg and say stuff like youre stuck with me which irritates me a lot. But in the initial stage its exhilarating to see guys cry because of me. It feels like ive conquered. I sometimes find myself saying things like ily to guys just to make them open up to me. I want them to fully depend on me and obsess over me but just as they do that i lose interest completely and it feels like theyre invading my space when they want love and time from me. I feel no remorse for them. I dont have a lot of friends so its rare for me to hurt them.
I used to be very manipulative kid. I remember blackmailing my best friends by giving them ultimatum after hurting them or bullying them by saying u can go now but if u go do u have other friends? I genuinely believe they were blessed to be friends with someone as amazing as me. I often let my anger out on them or said things i didn't mean to be the favorite friend of everyone in the group and usually was the leader in my small group. I got good grades and teachers favored me so it was kinda easy. I bullied a lot of kids but when other kids bully someone i would act all empathetic and nice so i could feel better than those bullies. In my eyes everyone was stupid filth with no brain and behavioral issues. Npcs. In k12 i would always want every boy in my class to have a crush on me and even now i tend to want that. Without even wanting them back.
I think i lie pretty regularly and i dont see harm in it usually but i do realized lying can lead to me being surrounded by my own lies and cant act as i want to sometimes. Following up my lies is the hard part. I make characters and try to keep my image of innocent good girl with full of love and passion to gain more love and respect from others.
Im very impulsive. I get bored extremely easily and always crave something extraordinary. I have no problem with casting love spells or day drinking.
I realized i love people who take me with my mess and love me but if they have something terrible happen to them ill just move on with my life. I like the comfort they give me but not necessarily them.
I also feel like the purpose of my life is to do something great that will help as many people as possible. I am free and i have good living condition so it is my duty to free others and help others to have what i have. Systemically helping the masses is what i want to do in my life. And i take pride in my life purpose and dream too. So wouldn't it mean i am not a narcissist or am i just wanting to be someone significant and is it like how i used to want to be morally superior. Idk. I love little babies and puppies.
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That's ready to post as is. Before you do, one honest thought from me: the "helping the masses" part doesn't really settle the narcissist question either way, and I'd gently push back on treating it as evidence *against* narcissism. Wanting to be the one who saves everyone, to be seen as significant and morally superior on a grand scale, can be its own version of the same pattern you already described. It doesn't cancel the rest out. Loving babies and puppies is sweet but also doesn't function as counter-evidence to anything above.
I'd still say the same thing I said earlier: this is worth bringing to an actual therapist, not just Reddit. Reddit will give you a hundred confident strangers guessing. A clinician can actually assess you properly and, more importantly, help you figure out what to do with this instead of just naming it.
I’m a 19 yo female and I think I might be falling into a depression. I don’t like myself or the dark and foul thoughts that come to me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that if I had been offered a button that will end all humanity with just one push, i would press it without a second thought to to end all human suffering. I know that sounds extreme but i genuinely find myself pondering on it. And somedays i wish a big accident would happen to me so i wouldn't have to continue with my day. I’m not a violent person. I think I’m just exhausted. (Although ive been through some struggles in the past my general living condition is good.)
I was raised in an atheist/Buddhist household. My personal philosophy is that we make our own meaning in life, and that our main responsibility is to help others while also trying to be happy and comfortable in balance. If we are free, we should free others. If we have better conditions, we should help others have better conditions. I genuinely believe in love and goodwill.
I’m a junior at a no-name university, my grades are decent, and I have dreams. But I have zero structure or discipline in my daily life. I know I should just read more, study harder, and wait for things to get better with time. But right now, I feel trapped in my own head. I’ve self-isolated for about two years now. I’ve lost the will to make friends or talk to people, even though I’m friendly and presentable in real life. Decent amount of people approach me mainly because of my looks, but i just never find the will in me to connect with them.
I read books that young men in their 20s read like How to Win Friends and Influence People way too young like before i even graduated from primary school, and now I feel like a performer. People open up to me easily, but I can’t open up to them because vulnerability terrifies me. I’ve made bad choices because of lust and laziness, and I don’t like the way I’m living.
I’ve been reading a little about different religions, but there are so many philosophies that I don’t know where to start. I’m not looking for magic answers. I’m looking for practical help like structure, community, and a way to sort out my mess. I think religion might be the “container” I need to hold my life together while I figure things out.
I’m crying as I write this because I think I genuinely need help.
If you’ve been through something similar, or if you found a faith tradition that helped you when you were at your lowest, id appreciate any advice.
I’m a 19 yo female and I think I might be falling into a depression. I don’t like myself or the dark and foul thoughts that come to me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that if I had been offered a button that will end all humanity with just one push, i would press it without a second thought to to end all human suffering. I know that sounds extreme but i genuinely find myself pondering on it. And somedays i wish a big accident would happen to me so i wouldn't have to continue with my day. I’m not a violent person. I think I’m just exhausted. (Although ive been through some struggles in the past my general living condition is good.)
I was raised in an atheist/Buddhist household. My personal philosophy is that we make our own meaning in life, and that our main responsibility is to help others while also trying to be happy and comfortable in balance. If we are free, we should free others. If we have better conditions, we should help others have better conditions. I genuinely believe in love and goodwill.
I’m a junior at a no-name university, my grades are decent, and I have dreams. But I have zero structure or discipline in my daily life. I know I should just read more, study harder, and wait for things to get better with time. But right now, I feel trapped in my own head. I’ve self-isolated for about two years now. I’ve lost the will to make friends or talk to people, even though I’m friendly and presentable in real life. Decent amount of people approach me mainly because of my looks, but i just never find the will in me to connect with them.
I read books that young men in their 20s read like How to Win Friends and Influence People way too young like before i even graduated from primary school, and now I feel like a performer. People open up to me easily, but I can’t open up to them because vulnerability terrifies me. I’ve made bad choices because of lust and laziness, and I don’t like the way I’m living.
I’ve been reading a little about different religions, but there are so many philosophies that I don’t know where to start. I’m not looking for magic answers. I’m looking for practical help like structure, community, and a way to sort out my mess. I think religion might be the “container” I need to hold my life together while I figure things out.
I’m crying as I write this because I think I genuinely need help.
If you’ve been through something similar, or if you found a faith tradition that helped you when you were at your lowest, id appreciate any advice.
I’m a 19 yo female and I think I might be falling into a depression. I don’t like myself or the dark and foul thoughts that come to me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that if I had been offered a button that will end all humanity with just one push, i would press it without a second thought to to end all human suffering. I know that sounds extreme but i genuinely find myself pondering on it. And somedays i wish a big accident would happen to me so i wouldn't have to continue with my day. I’m not a violent person. I think I’m just exhausted. (Although ive been through some struggles in the past my general living condition is good.)
I was raised in an atheist/Buddhist household. My personal philosophy is that we make our own meaning in life, and that our main responsibility is to help others while also trying to be happy and comfortable in balance. If we are free, we should free others. If we have better conditions, we should help others have better conditions. I genuinely believe in love and goodwill.
I’m a junior at a no-name university, my grades are decent, and I have dreams. But I have zero structure or discipline in my daily life. I know I should just read more, study harder, and wait for things to get better with time. But right now, I feel trapped in my own head. I’ve self-isolated for about two years now. I’ve lost the will to make friends or talk to people, even though I’m friendly and presentable in real life. Decent amount of people approach me mainly because of my looks, but i just never find the will in me to connect with them.
I read books that young men in their 20s read like How to Win Friends and Influence People way too young like before i even graduated from primary school, and now I feel like a performer. People open up to me easily, but I can’t open up to them because vulnerability terrifies me. I’ve made bad choices because of lust and laziness, and I don’t like the way I’m living.
I’ve been reading a little about different religions, but there are so many philosophies that I don’t know where to start. I’m not looking for magic answers. I’m looking for practical help like structure, community, and a way to sort out my mess. I think religion might be the “container” I need to hold my life together while I figure things out.
I’m crying as I write this because I think I genuinely need help.
If you’ve been through something similar, or if you found a faith tradition that helped you when you were at your lowest, id appreciate any advice.
Me (19F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for about a year now and became official only 3 months ago. It has been intense. He is my first boyfriend and first everything. We have been through losses, serious sickness and so much more throughout last year. And through all of it he proved how amazing of a person he is.
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He is genuinely the most caring, sweet, and cool person I have ever met. We share similar values, personality traits, and common interests. Most importantly, he loves me and I love him.
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Now for me, I grew up in a pretty chaotic household where I learned that being vulnerable was not safe. I could not depend on the adults in my life. Now it feels like I have grown into this super avoidant person who does not want to get attached or let people in, because I believe they will leave or see me as disgusting. It is just hard to believe I am actually lovable.
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With school and all the other young adult responsibilities, I feel like I need to focus on building myself right now. Become someone who could actually help and inspire my partner, instead of being grumpy because of my own insecurities.
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I also noticed that I constantly try to make myself resent him, convince myself I do not actually love him so that I will not hurt too badly when they leave.
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On top of that, I am very possessive about him. I do not like it when he notices little details and hidden pain of other girls. I understand he is being empathetic, which is good, but I cant help but think wdym this girl is inside your head?
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I think a lot of this jealousy is connected to my own insecurity of not being enough. I just do not want him being the safe space, the emotional cushion, the comfort person, the entertainer to these other girls. :[
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I hate myself for having these stupid thoughts. Even something small, like him not posting anything to indicate he has a girlfriend on his socials bothers me. I do not want to be a jealous girlfriend.
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I have already met his family, and every time I tried to leave, he goes above and beyond to let me stay so we can try together, help each other. He wants me to open up to him but I do not think I can. I can't even bring up the jealousy issue.
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And I am so scared. What If I leave now, I will never be able to find someone who loves me as much as he does, and someone I love back this much.