u/Public-Boysenberry26

I mostly get basic sleep paralysis where there's some type of scary monster and I can't move, make sound, or even open my eyes or anything. but what ive noticed is, if it keeps happening a few times in a row, all I have to do is switch sides and face the wall when I sleep.

the reason is different though, I believe. I don't think I get it because of something different my body is doing when I sleep on my right side, not facing the wall. when I'm not facing the wall, I just feel really exposed and paranoid to the rest of my room, and I feel as if there's an invisible being or something's gonna come out when I'm sleeping. I don't know if thats linked to schizophrenia at all but my father does have schizo effective disorder.

I think thats why it rarely occurs when I'm facing the wall. I guess I just feel safer that way because I'm not exposed to the openness of my room? I feel like Im not exposed in case something were to come out?

does anyone else get this, does it make any sense? or does it maybe not sound like sleep paralysis?

just to clarify I'm 16, I'm not talking about monsters under the bed type shit. I just feel like Im being watched all the time and that Im not alone or something. I don't get hallucinations or anything when I'm awake, it's just the sleep paralysis that counts as that, I guess.

I had to put my cat down today. his name was Jack. I feel so miserable and exhausted. he died with his head resting on my hand and I was stroking his forehead the whole time. I could feel when he went heavy and limp😕

it's so weird not having him around anymore. he was sleeping next to me just 4 hours ago and now he's in the ground, nowhere to be seen. I just want someone to talk to but I don't even know what to say anymore. I just feel so tired. I've had a headache all day long and I feel so tired and weak now. I don't even wanna go in my bedroom anymore because that's where he had been sleeping the past week. I don't know how i'm gonna sleep anymore. I want to shower but I'm just so stressed out I don't even think I can shower.

I feel like I have bipolar or something. I keep shifting from crying, to empty, from crying, to empty, and it just keeps going on and on now. It's like I don't really care that much one second, and then the next I'm just miserable and bawling. I keep thinking I'm gonna see him around the house, like sitting in the window or sleeping on my bed or something, but he's never there.

I can't believe I'm really never gonna see my little Jack again. he was only 13, he was so young and happy. I got a picture today where he looked so freaking happy and innocent and now he's dead in the ground. I think he had kidney cancer or something because he was starving, dehydrated, and lethargic for about a week, all the way up until now. I can't process this. theres no way I'm just never gonna see him again. It feels fake. like a set up. I don't think I'm ever gonna be the same again.

my mom got the dog this cheap brand of food she's never ever tried before and obviously it turned out bad. our dog is a pitbull, he's SUPER sensitive to food he can't even eat pork or he will get fishy farts all day long, and I mean F.I.S.H.Y. it smells BAD. he can't even eat those little fish oil capsules that are meant for improving dog's coats.

so upon getting him this brand new food (she said it's called "maintain chunks"), he's been shitting NONSTOP. we normally take him out every 2-3 hours, but he shits every single time now. there isn't one time he doesn't shit when he goes outside.

but that means this has moved to the house too. he keeps shitting his pants when everyone is asleep and it's always the biggest pile of shit I've ever seen in my life. each one is bigger than the last. I've stepped in it TWICE now because it's fucking dark in the house at night and I'm not expecting a huge pile of shit right before my feet.

so you know what my mom did to fix this? she got him his regular moderately-expensive bag of food. it's Purina One or something like that. and she MIXED IT WITH THE BAD FOOD. SO NOW HE'S GONNA BE SHITTING HIS PANTS DOUBLE AS LONG.

and yes, he's still been shitting constantly even with the food mixed!! he's pooped like a million times in 3 days!! and the thing is, it's never watery poop. never ever. it's always some weird dry/wet shit because they put weird stuff in the food that makes it almost chalky.

there was 4 PILES in my bathroom the other night. FOUR! 3 of them were relatively smaller compared to the main one, whereas the main one was like grandpa shit type shit.

why in hell would she mix his food? she keeps talking about being broke and needing to get him a cheaper food. but now she just made it so he's gonna be shitting double as long. now, if she wants to get him a good food with nothing shit-inducing in it, she has to spend even more money.

and I just know she's gonna get mad at me if I don't clean up any piles I see. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR PATIENCE TO CLEAN THEM ALL UP. IT'S GROSS. I'm NOT cleaning 20 piles a night because of her choices.

edit: also I forgot to mention, she mixed the food because apparently you're supposed to "get the dog used to new food" anyways. yeah, I don't think hes getting used to this one. he's literally shitting all day long.

so how'd everyone's week go?

my tank has been cycling since June 10, parameters are already perfect, I'm just wondering if I can buy corys now or if I need to wait for bacteria/algae to grow in the tank, or whatever they eat in there? (obviously I'm gonna buy Cory food)

ok so I just found out about TDS watching a video about freshwater shrimp... and I'm struggling to understand exactly what it is.

just a quick background, I do NOT have shrimp. I am currently cycling a tank right now, it's been about 1 week and I plan to cycle it for around 3 more weeks. I have seachem equilibrium, I have new tank syndrome medicine stuff, a bottle of shrimp trace minerals, I have the master test kit, and the GH/KH test kit all for monitoring the shrimp tank.

am I gonna need to buy a TDS tester thing or will I be fine with just the master test kit and GH/KH test kit? and also, from what is sounds like, it kinda seems like TDS is the same thing as GH/KH... if I'm ever low on TDS, would I be able to use seachem equilibrium to increase it? or is there something else I need to increase it?

also is there any other knowledge I might be missing before I get shrimp? I know about the nitrogen cycle, parameters, temperature, and the tank set up. and I just feel like Im gonna find something else that I had no idea about.

my GH/KH test hasn't arrived in the mail yet, but when it does I'm gonna be testing my tap AND tank water to see what type of shrimp are suitable for me.