u/Puzzleheaded-Till690

21M. I started working on Wednesday my first ever full time job after dropping out of college (I do plan to go back sooner than later) at a butchering room and I don’t think I can do it for much longer. I hate to be weak like this but I hate waking up and the only thing that keeps me ok at work is the thought that I’ll go back home and drink. Frick, right now I should go to bed in at most an hour and I’m thinking if to have another shot of vodka. I won’t because I have to be up in 7 hours but I just cannot tolerate those long shifts of doing the same exact thing all the time, no phones or music allowed, no coworkers are around me and I can’t even get inside my own mind because there is always far too much lifting to do. I am already worried because I legitemately think that I’ve developed hives due to either my drinking or the uniform there and I lift with my forearms A LOT there.

My only task is that a sort of conveyor belt spits out pieces of meat in different weights (they can be around 3-5kg) and I separe them into boxes of 6 or 8. I am working the full 8 hours of my shift fully and there is not one minute of peace ever. Please I truly do not want to sound entitled but I am finding it very hard. Before this I used to tutor children for some side money and I am already applying to cashier positions but obviously that will take time. Please I need some advice I am dreading tomorrow.

21M, y acabo de empezar un trabajo ‘real’ por asi decirlo. Antes de esto, trabajaba dando algunas clases de repaso y si que es verdad que hice unas practicas en mi instituto en el 2022 pero eso realmente no lo cuento como trabajar porque fue una chorrada enorme que hacia ese verano por 4 horas.

Estuve hasta 2025 intentado hacer una FP de informatica pero suspendi practicamente todo primero y despues me puse con el carnet todo el año escolar pasado, y hasta mayo que me lo saque y finalmente me llamaron de algo ‘serio’ (vivo en un pueblo bastante lejos de todo, normal que me pidan el carnet en los trabajos)

Trabajo en una sala de despiece como peon de fabrica y mi tarea es simple pero TAN agotadora: en una cinta me traen trozos de lomo que pueden variar entre 3-5kg y los tengo que poner en cajas hasta completar el pallet y asi 8 horas y media cada dia. Llevo 3 dias solamente pero os lo juro que me esta costando pensar que tengo que volver el lunes y esta vez hacer una semana completa de exactamente lo mismo todas esas horas, con la misma intensidad desde las 5 de la mañana hasta las 2 de la tarde.

Yo no me quejo ni de los horarios ni del sueldo (son como 1300€ limpios) pero si del ambiente laboral, que NUNCA estas en pausa y que tengo que levantar peso durante las 8 horas y pico completas de mi jornada. Esto esta de mas y no es una razon por la cual yo unicamente dejaria mi trabajo pero también al ser una fabrica, y yo practicamente estoy solo en mi sección, no tengo nadie para socializar ni para hacer el rato mas ameno. No puedo poner musica y de hecho no puedo ni llevar el mobil conmigo mas alla de los vestidores. Se que es de sentido comun pero hay muchos otros trabajos que no son asi.

Con todo esto quiero pedir a la gente con mas experiencia laboral que yo, estoy exagerando diciendo todo esto o realmente la gran parte de trabajos sin ningun tipo de experiencia o estudios son igual de malos? Basicamente, me sale a cuenta buscar y empezar otra cosa?

La gente que me recomiende quedarme, que consejos me dariais para hacer que mis jornadas no se me hagan tan pesadas mentalmente y aliviar un poco los dolores fisicos que me conlleva los movimientos de fuerza repetitivos?

21M, and it’s the only time of day where it’s not scorching hot but still warm enough to get sweat under a blanket. I just hate seeing my penis for some reason, and it’s strange because I don’t feel that way when I pee or anything. I just don’t like to see it be masturbated or even the hand movement…

I found out when I was 10 and I think that, on top of home issues and probably being neurodivergent, made me handle my sexuality in very problematic ways until very deep into my life (I’d say until like I was 18 ish).

I didn’t come out until I was 17 but every year before that the closet was glass and I legitemately think having my sexuality as something I couldn’t say publicly or didn’t even think about expressing annonymously online made me not realise about certain bad behaviours I had to men, and I also had a really problematic taste in men which I feel I wouldn’t have had if I had been a bit more open about being gay and saw other gay guys my age.

I don’t know, like I’m not mad or specially regretful but I mean just a thought I’ve had personally.

It was an amateur video and it only lasted 15 seconds too

I’ve had a very weak libido since I was 19, before that, I had quite a high libido but I still never dared to do anything with anyone as I had only come out of the closet at 17 and I take change very poorly so in combination to healing from some bullying I went through school, I didn’t want to rush into getting into a hookup with a guy that I had just met (as is very often on Grindr).

I don’t know what changed after I became 19, but I truly closed myself off from the world. I never had a good relation with society, as I believe I could be autistic and everyone has found me weird, but after that age I got an extreme fear of ‘compromise’ as in I cannot talk to anyone I didn’t know before if it’s not like a cashier or someone like that because I don’t want to have the compromise of having to talk mid to long term.

Said that, I am happy without a boyfriend or actually with the act of not having sex (as I said, almost zero libido) but there is just something about not having sex that irritates me a lot, and when I mean a lot, it’s that I get headaches from it. It makes me upset, but I don’t know why. I can’t even engage in masturbation almost ever because the thought of being a virgin is more powerful than any other sexual thought. But then again, I don’t care for the actual sensation of sex and I can’t keep a conversation, but being a virgin hurts me deeply. It’s a massive circle that just leads me into sadness and doing harmful coping mechanisms.

I just want this sensation to leave because it gets tiring and it ocupies far too much mental space. It lets you live but with that constant voice telling you “you’ll be a virgin forever and everything sexually is going to suck for you. You’re programmed to actually care for that”.

In regards to how other guys see me, I think I am too autistic to actually understand if anyone has ever liked me but not going to lie, maybe my standards are too high, but then again I keep to myself so if this was the truth, it is only hurting myself. It’s a permanent state of indecisive confusion.

I think I might start going to the gym soon and hopefully I will be able to grow out my arms and get them a bit more muscley. I know that it will be a very long time and maybe not even possible but if I were to grow really big arms, would my scars shift location? Their right now bang on my forearm and I have some on ny outer upper arm, so I expect with skin growth to accomodate the new muscle that the scars either a) split in the middle or b) they shift to a side or another so they’d be more like the side of my arm.

Asking because I remember consuming that kind of content around 5 years ago, now I fortunately don’t but some things have subconsciously stuck to my head.

If I had to give my opinion, I feel like blackpill is a lot more common in the gay community than red pill but we just don’t awknowledge it with those names, we just call it ‘pretty privilege’

21M and still a virgin. This might sound like I’m letting off steam but I truly want advice and this is not to have anyone feel bad. I actually don’t mind not having sex as I am barely attracted to anyone for the past couple of years but I guess it’s the actual thing of, even if I wanted to lose my virginity I am not 100% certain I could and the only way I have to figure out this is to ‘try’ again (I say again because I did try back in 2023-2024 but I was obese and had a different look). The issue is that I frankly don’t want sex, so it just becomes this insecurity that I can’t really fix.

I am also aware that most likely when (if I do get to ever) I do lose my virginity, I think I am gonna still be riddled with this ‘I am unliked mindset’ and off the top of my head right now, the only way I see this being disproven is by life proving me several times different people want me sexually, over and over. This is a huge HUGE complex of mine (I don’t want to get into the graphic details of it but this affects me mentally a lot more than the average ‘insecure’ person) and I want to fix it because it is not helpful, and frankly there is a chance I’ll feel this way always if I don’t mend it consciously.

21M. I am not diagnosed but there was very high suspicions of me having ASD and ADHD as a child and I’ve noticed behaviours in me that align to that.

I have failed several practical driving tests over the last year because of really poor reflexes and bad reaction times. I also suffer from just general fear while driving, specially in high speeds. I drive manual and currently in my country (Spain) it’s the only way to get your license. I don’t believe I can get automatic license but I’ve also not been doing practice on it.

I struggle a lot with incorporations, stops and ‘give ways’ (I don’t know if that’s the proper word in english). I also struggle with being 1000 aware of all my surroundings but I think this is a common issue amongst everyone who drives.

Please neurodivergent community, help me find tricks to overcome these issues or at least help them so I can pass on the day.

My exam is in 15 days.

I don’t know if mine is 100% loose skin or loose skin and fat but I have a slightly more pronounced pubic area than most guys I see on nsfw subreddits. Not by much but by a standard I find annoying to see on myself. I am currently a healthy weight but I was overweight bordering obese for about 18 years before.

I hear this is commonly told in therapy as a way to control sudden urges to SH after a triggering thought. I’ve tried it, and ON ME specifically it works for minor ‘dumb’ triggers. I’ve yet to see it really calm me down when having a larger trigger thought on the past or important things of my future. Btw I am not in therapy (yet) but I have just been told this is used for SH often.

21M and gay. Just saying sexuality because I think it’s important for context. I don’t really crave sex but I have this deep need to know exactly why if I wanted to, I couldn’t get laid. I know I am not doing the upmost I can to have sex, because frankly I’m not that bothered about actually having sex as in the act, but I just want to know why I have never been approached by other men, why I’ve never been slided on my DMs on Instagram by men and why I’ve always seemed to be unliked.

I have a bunch of theories in my mind and I may have some patterns spotted amongst seeing other virgins on social media, but really? Do I look so… unappealing? Remember, as I said, I am not straight so I don’t have that ‘old school rule’ of me having to approach romantic/sexual interests. For most gay guys, the flux is 50% being approached and 50% you approaching. I have worked on my appearance for the past year and a half, and I am no longer overweight. I truly believe there is something wrong with my face.

‘Social skills’ don’t really apply here because as no man have approached me or DMed me, they don’t know how I act. My instagram profile is public and I don’t have a mass following, so I truly don’t get it. And as I said, I don’t want to have sex but I just want to know WHY I am so undesirable to other guys. Must I say that I don’t really count men above 30 or men with clear substance issues in this category: I’m sorry but my other gay guy counterparts don’t count them either. I legitemately believe I just don’t fit in anyones sexual fantasies and that’s why I am undesirable, because seriously, and I don’t want to sound aloof but I don’t think I am bad looking at all.

I have considered a bracelet stack but I think it would look weird so high up my arm (I mean, if anyone can think of a nice bracelet stack tell me and I’ll try) It’s an area around 4 fingers large and 4 fingers away from the elbow. I live in a pretty warm country. Thanks in advance for any advice.