u/Quiveringmystic

So this is a long story, but I’ll give you the readers digest of it. Basically I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years. (I’m 24, and he’s 26, so it’s been a good chunk of our growing up) and we broke up in April of 2025. After we broke up, we didn’t talk at all. We went completely no contact for exactly 295 days, when one random day, he sent me this message:

“Hey I know you have me blocked and I have you blocked so this shouldn't go through at all. But I just had a meltdown with *** and how she left and I do appreciate you finding her. I know l'll talk and have a giant chip on my shoulder about about how I hate you and wish I got to introduce her to anyone but you. And I do. But you were everything she needed and more and I appreciate you for you for that. For whatever it's worth. I'm not a good person and neither are you but you gave her the respect she needed and deserved. So thank you.” (The * is to not say her name. She’s deceased. He is referencing how I found her body, which is insanely fucked up and fucked me up for a very long time) I don’t reply, then he texts my WORK phone this (and I don’t know how he got it)

“Hey. I had a fight with *** earlier. I'm hoping your new number keeps me blocked but despite everything I'm glad you were the one who found her. So thank you.”

That was only 10 days ago that happened. We ended up talking for about a week, exchanged about 700 messages, and then he told me “by the way I don’t want anything to do with you romantically, but I’d like to know you for more than what you did for me” which makes me upset because I’m a whole ass person??? I’m not just somebody that “did stuff” for you. But we stop talking after that. He sends me 3 or 4 goodbye style texts like “I’ll respect your boundaries and you won’t hear from me again”

Then last night he sent me this:

“I do hope you get everything you ever asked for and I'm sorry I was selfish in reaching out to you. You did provide all the closure I didn't know i needed and I wish I could do the same for you. You are an amazing human being and I wish you nothing but the best”

I never replied to this.

So basically my question is why the actual fuck does he keep coming back to say “goodbye” and doesn’t actually leave me alone? Like what does he want from me?

Thank you all in advance for reading. I know it’s long. Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

So this is a long story, but I’ll give you the readers digest of it. Basically I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years. (I’m 24, and he’s 26, so it’s been a good chunk of our growing up) and we broke up in April of 2025. After we broke up, we didn’t talk at all. We went completely no contact for exactly 295 days, when one random day, he sent me this message:

“Hey I know you have me blocked and I have you blocked so this shouldn't go through at all. But I just had a meltdown with *** and how she left and I do appreciate you finding her. I know l'll talk and have a giant chip on my shoulder about about how I hate you and wish I got to introduce her to anyone but you. And I do. But you were everything she needed and more and I appreciate you for you for that. For whatever it's worth. I'm not a good person and neither are you but you gave her the respect she needed and deserved. So thank you.” (The * is to not say her name. She’s deceased. He is referencing how I found her body, which is insanely fucked up and fucked me up for a very long time) I don’t reply, then he texts my WORK phone this (and I don’t know how he got it)

“Hey. I had a fight with *** earlier. I'm hoping your new number keeps me blocked but despite everything I'm glad you were the one who found her. So thank you.”

That was only 10 days ago that happened. We ended up talking for about a week, exchanged about 700 messages, and then he told me “by the way I don’t want anything to do with you romantically, but I’d like to know you for more than what you did for me” which makes me upset because I’m a whole ass person??? I’m not just somebody that “did stuff” for you. But we stop talking after that. He sends me 3 or 4 goodbye style texts like “I’ll respect your boundaries and you won’t hear from me again”

Then last night he sent me this:

“I do hope you get everything you ever asked for and I'm sorry I was selfish in reaching out to you. You did provide all the closure I didn't know i needed and I wish I could do the same for you. You are an amazing human being and I wish you nothing but the best”

I never replied to this.

So basically my question is why the actual fuck does he keep coming back to say “goodbye” and doesn’t actually leave me alone? Like what does he want from me?

Thank you all in advance for reading. I know it’s long. Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

Hi all. I have a question I need some advice on. I have a job as a FD, it pays $28 an hour, and it’s about a 40 minute commute. (To preface, I’ve been a director for about 6 years now) but my managers are AWFUL, like truly, truly awful. I’ve been on training for 5 months, and I’ve seen everyone get let loose before me. My managers have never seen me in an arrangement or do any services. They just targeted me from the get go. This is normal there, where they pick someone and bully them for 3-4 months, and then they pick someone else.

So naturally, I started looking for another job. I finally got one. This one is about a 20 minute commute, and it pays $30.35 an hour. It seems like a great company with wonderful benefits, but I can’t help but feel stuck because I don’t know what to do.

My current job has the best coworkers I’ve ever had. They’re so kind and a lot of them are super seasoned directors. I’ve been able to learn so so much from them. I’ve made a lot of friends there as well. We have alternate holidays, and we get PTO time super fast. It’s literally just management that is terrible.

My question is, is it worth it to stay at my current job getting less pay and longer commute just for the relationships? Or should I leave and find my footing again at the new job?

Any advice is appreciated, and thank you so so much for reading.

My ex and I were together for 6 years. The relationship was unhealthy and really toxic. We broke up about a year ago and had no contact for 295 days.

A few days ago, he reached out on my personal number (I don’t know how he got it) and then when he didn’t receive an answer, contacted me on my WORK phone (don’t know how he got that one either). Finally I replied, and I know it was dumb.

During that week We exchanged around 700 messages.
Stayed up talking until 1am multiple nights.
Shared old photos and memories.
Talked about our pets and our lives now.
He tried to follow me on TikTok.

Eventually I asked what his intentions were. He initially said he didn’t really have any expectations and that talking to me helped him process some things he’d been struggling with.

Then later he sent me a message saying there is **“zero chance of reconciliation in a romantic sense”** because too much has happened. He said he appreciates me as a person, doesn’t hate me, and would be happy being friendly, but getting back together is not on the table.
I told him I didn’t really want friendship and felt like he had reopened contact for his own benefit. I asked him to leave me alone. He responded respectfully, said he’d respect my boundaries, and then followed up later saying he wouldn’t block me and wished me the best.
My question isn’t whether he secretly wants me back. I think he was pretty clear that he doesn’t.

My question is: **what was the goal here?**

Why reach out after almost a year, exchange 700 messages, revisit old memories, follow my social media, and invest that much time and energy if the end result was “I just wanted closure” and “we can be friends”?
I’m too emotionally involved to tell whether this was closure, loneliness, nostalgia, guilt, friendship, or something else honestly. I’d appreciate outside perspectives.

Thank you in advance for reading this long post haha

My ex and I were together for 6 years. The relationship was unhealthy and really toxic. We broke up about a year ago and had no contact for 295 days.

A few days ago, he reached out on my personal number (I don’t know how he got it) and then when he didn’t receive an answer, contacted me on my WORK phone (don’t know how he got that one either). Finally I replied, and I know it was dumb.

During that week We exchanged around 700 messages.
Stayed up talking until 1am multiple nights.
Shared old photos and memories.
Talked about our pets and our lives now.
He tried to follow me on TikTok.

Eventually I asked what his intentions were. He initially said he didn’t really have any expectations and that talking to me helped him process some things he’d been struggling with.

Then later he sent me a message saying there is “zero chance of reconciliation in a romantic sense” because too much has happened. He said he appreciates me as a person, doesn’t hate me, and would be happy being friendly, but getting back together is not on the table.
I told him I didn’t really want friendship and felt like he had reopened contact for his own benefit. I asked him to leave me alone. He responded respectfully, said he’d respect my boundaries, and then followed up later saying he wouldn’t block me and wished me the best.
My question isn’t whether he secretly wants me back. I think he was pretty clear that he doesn’t.

My question is: what was the goal here?

Why reach out after almost a year, exchange 700 messages, revisit old memories, follow my social media, and invest that much time and energy if the end result was “I just wanted closure” and “we can be friends”?
I’m too emotionally involved to tell whether this was closure, loneliness, nostalgia, guilt, friendship, or something else honestly. I’d appreciate outside perspectives.

Thank you in advance for reading this long post haha

Hello! I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their experiences with getting their babies to trust you enough to handle them. I’ve had my girls for a couple months and I’ve never held them, as every time I put my hand near them, they just flick their antenna at me and run away (they never hiss though!)