u/RickGrimesSnotBubble

I don’t care about my appearance at all but I wish I did care. I’ve always been like this. There are just an endless number of other ways I’d rather fill my time.

Hair? Snatched into a ponytail as soon as I wake up. Like I sleep with the hair tie on my wrist. I don’t want my hair touching me and I don’t usually take time to brush it.

Skincare? Don’t know her. I ain’t taking time for all that. My face gets washed when I shower.

Makeup? It’s fun in theory but not in practice. I’d rather lay in bed for those extra 10 minutes rather than do my makeup.

Nails? Always chewed. Always unpainted.

I always wear tees and jeans to work. I tried wearing “nicer” tops for a while but then I need to wear a good bra too or it just looks dumb and I don’t like how it feels, and I prefer wearing a crappy bra so I can comfortably sleep in it as well. You can get away with an old, borderline useless bra with an equally old t-shirt, not so much with a blouse. When I’m off work I’ll usually either wear the same tee I wore to bed and sweatpants or jeans. Again, I’d rather spend that extra time in bed rather than putting together something nice.

In my mind this goes hand in hand, but I also do not care about my hygiene. Like really really don’t care and never have cared. It’s at the bottom of my list of priorities. I would rather be tied to a truck and dragged down the street than shower/bathe. HATE. LOATHE. Manage to get it done every 7-9 days and that’s more than enough for me. As I’ve said - there are just other ways I’d rather spend my time.

But I want to care!!! I wish I was one of those cute, pretty,
put together girls. How do yall do it? Were you raised this way, or discover caring in adulthood? How can I get there? Please!!

As home schooling becomes more and more mainstream, it’s more and more of a struggle for me to not be triggered. I actively have to remember I escaped and I have made it farther than I ever thought I would.

I don’t have time to rehash my story atm as I’m on a 15 minute break but I have several coworkers who somehow supposedly work full time and also home school their kids. One once asked what my home school experience was like and I told her the truth (not knowing she was asking in reference to her own life) and she started crying. Another shared their kid’s “school schedule” on Facebook and there are times the kid has school 1-2 days a week. It makes me want to scream. I’m a grown adult, age 26, and I STILL STRUGGLE DAILY with maintaining a schedule/routine because I did absolutely NOTHING with my time for years and years and years.

It makes me feel so defeated to hear BS on the radio about bills for my state supposedly making homeschool regulation a law - too little too late for some of us. And it baffles me that we’re two and a half decades into the 21st century and they’re just now figuring out home school is incredibly easy to screw up and often is used to conceal abuse/neglect. Then I have to smile and say “yeah, public school isn’t for everyone” when people tell me they’re home schooling, like this wasn’t almost the death of me.

Obligatory yes I know it’s not always abusive and neglectful and can be done right.