u/SAlolzorz

Several months back, maybe a year or more, a Watchmen fan began proclaiming that he was the only person who truly understood it. He began to make all kind of wild and unsupported claims about it. He even contacted famously reclusive author Alan Moore's daughter on social media to try to get his fan theory in front of the man himself. Despite the fact that Moore has made it abundantly clear that he no longer wishes to discuss the work.

He was banned from the Watchmen subreddit, where he posted as EffMemes, for repeatedly spamming his theories, then becoming belligerent and confrontational when anyone dared question him. Eventually, he started making bad faith reports and unfounded accusations of homophobia and harassment.

An example of his r/Watchmen output:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Watchmen/comments/1l92g53/hooded_justice_and_larry_schexnayder_are_one_and/

Since then, his theories have only become more intricate, as they build upon themselves like some self-perpetuating insanity fractal.

Lately, he has taken to spamming comic creators on BlueSky with his theories.

Here are several threads outlining his rather, uh, unique take on Watchmen:

https://bsky.app/profile/matthewlovesbread.bsky.social/post/3md6lgts2ws2z

He is obsessed with the idea that the character of Hooded Justice is actually Larry Schexnayder in disguise. But he has a lot of ideas about characters from Watchmen actually being other characters. Here is a thread in which he states that there weren't actually any "villains," because the villains were just heroes dressed up as part of some pro-wrestling style kayfabe. As he tells it, some characters were playing 2 or more roles:

https://bsky.app/profile/matthewlovesbread.bsky.social/post/3mhbqczxavk24

He is also convinced that Dr. Manhattan does not kill Rorschach at the end, but rather teleports him to Mars:

https://bsky.app/profile/matthewlovesbread.bsky.social/post/3mkj4kaeras2a

His theories are evolving over time, becoming more incestuous and interconnected as he goes.

Most recently, he has taken to digitally manipulating images from the book, and trying to read meaning into the results:

https://bsky.app/profile/matthewlovesbread.bsky.social/post/3mkgxkglsas2a

This post is the final part of a series. See Part 1 here. See Part 2 here. See Part 3 here.

I hadn't intended to keep anyone waiting this long for the the 4th installment. As I've mentioned previously, I lost some of the data I intended to use for this post in a hard drive crash, I may yet be able to recover it, but that isn't a given, so I'll just proceed with what I have. This post is likely to be short and to the point.

One of the things John Tarnowski, AKA Juan Andres Tarnowski, RPGPundit, Swami Anand Nisarg, Kasimir Urbanski, etc. loves to brag about is the fact that he has gotten "rich" from sales of the RPGs he has written. As with his claims that he had a heavy hand in the design of D&D 5E, this is likely a lie. We know this because Tarnowski himself has said so.

In 2015, Tarnowski was asking the students of his "Mystery School" Swami grift to give him funds to buy a computer. Later that year, he was soliciting funds to pay for roof repairs, explaining in the comments that he didn't even have home insurance, as it was "beyond his means." But in 2016, he was bragging about being "rich and famous!"

In 2020, Tarno was having trouble with that damn roof - again, which begs the question, what did he do with the money he got the first time? Is this his version of the grandmother who keeps dying? A few months later, he would need donations to buy eyeglasses. Don't despair, though, by the following year, he'd be "crying all the way to the bank," because he was once again "making a very successful living." Man, this guy's life is a rollercoaster!

Tarnowski also hates to buy things. Here he is soliciting the members of his forum to provide free maps for a game he planned to publish and sell! He even busted out the old, "getting paid in exposure" chestnut, lol.

he spends a lot of time begging for free books, as well. See, he claims it's an honor to have him review your RPG book, but REFUSES to review a PDF copy, for... reasons. I have several more example of this, but it's relatively minor and boring compared to the rest of it.

The missing screenshots were further examples of Tarno crying broke, while alternately claiming to be ballin'. Nothing different than what I've posted above, but more of it. My favorite was one where he claimed that every month, he had to decide what to do without.

By his own admission, his home does not have central air conditioning or heating. And from the many photos he himself has posted on his publicly viewable blog and various social media sites, it also doesn't appear to have any internal doors. He has also claimed to have a rooftop patio, but pictures he has posted of his rooftop (not to mention Google Maps) prove that this is a lie.

My own opinion is that John is neither as poor or as rich as he alternately claims. He has had one game go "Platinum" on drivetherurpg, which means it sold 1000+ copies. But that took ten years. I'm too lazy to do the math on that or any of Tarno's other products, some of which have sold hundreds of copies, but the info is out there. Knowing what I know about drivethru's fees, and seeing that Tarno's products are mostly either very inexpensive or merely okay sellers, I feel very confident that he's not nearly as "rich and famous" as he claims. At least not from his games. It is likely that he makes as much, if not more, from his "Swami" grift. It also helps that the cost of living in Montevideo, Uruguay is pretty low.

I will conclude this series as I started it: by stating that John Tarnowski, the RPGPundit, is a liar and a fraud. And, let's face it, a bit of a prick besides.

And finally, thank you, dear reader, for your patience.