u/Sad_Display_2951

Hello, I've been exclusively breastfeeding my 5 and a half month old. He is feeding every 2 hours ideally, up to 3 hours depending on circumstances. After 3 hours he's pissy and starts crying, but even at the 3 hour mark he's already starting to get vocal.

He has had some ups and downs with weight. When he initially lost weight at around 3 months, the nurses told us to feed every 2 hours to ensure that my supply comes back up if it was a supply issue (at this point he was feeding every 3-4 hours). He seemed to be back on track.

At his 5 month appointment, 4 weeks after the last weigh-in, he'd gained only 250gr. This was concerning to me, the doctor was surprised that I still feed every 2-3 hours. She thought that he's snacking and not getting enough of the fatty milk and therefore not gaining weight. Advised that we feed every 3-4 hours, more like 4 hours. I tried this, but he just gets too hungry by the time it's 3 hours later, I don't want to starve my baby. So we're back to every 2-3 hours.

The only examples that I have from family fall into this every 4 hours by now. I'm just curious if the more frequent feeds are still normal at this age and if there are other mums out there that do the same?

Thank you!

Hello, over the past week or so, my baby - 16 weeks - has started waking up 5 to 6 times a night. He is bounced to sleep at bedtime and then mainly fed to sleep during his night wakings. If he is not settling that way, I will bounce him to sleep at night as well.

I am also co-sleeping at the moment and would love to stop it. I never wanted to co-sleep, nor do I want to nurse to sleep but if I am to get any sleep at all during the night, right now I have no other option.

Bedtime for baby is between 20:00 and 20:30, wake up around 6:00 to 6:30. He takes about 4-5 naps a day, with a total daytime sleep of approx 4 hours. He is usually awake for about 1.5 to 2 hours before naps and bedtime. His naps are also assisted, either bouncing to sleep or in the carrier. He is exclusively breastfed.

I want to eventually sleep train, once he is a little closer to 5 months, as it seems his naps are all over the place still. But I'd like to start preparing him for it and possibly already reduce the night wakings. If he wakes up once or twice, it's still fine but 5-6 times is really too much.

I also try to put him in his bassinet sometimes to see if he falls asleep that way, but he fusses and wiggles his hands and legs constantly until he eventually starts crying. I'll continue to try this although I don't expect any changes soon.

Any advice on how to reduce the wakings and help prepare for sleep training welcome. Thank you!

My baby just turned 14 weeks old and once he passes 4 months, we would like to sleep train so he can fall asleep independently at bedtime and for naps.

I want to make sure that we are preparing him and giving him the best chance to succeed. So, I'd like to see if there are things we should change or implement to help sleep training later on.

Ideally, we would love for him to fall asleep between 20:00 to 20:30, and wake up between 7:00 and 7:30. Now, bedtime is usually around the time we want, wake up is more around 6:15. Baby is breastfed, he usually wakes up twice during the night to feed (around 1:30 and 4:00). In the last week, he is also waking up shortly after going to sleep (within 30 mins to an hour). Sometimes because the transfer from my arms bouncing on a yoga ball to his bassinet fails.

He naps 4-5 times a day, depending on his wake up and how long his naps are. His wake windows are usually between 1h30m and 2h. Sometimes they are shorter, sometimes longer, but most are within that range. I do have to mention that I struggle to read his tired cues.

We don't have a daytime routine, if he becomes fussy, I put some music on and sway with him to transition him away from playing to sleeping, and start putting him down once he no longer seems to be looking around/leans his head on my shoulder instead of keeping his head up and neck straight.

For bedtime, we have a set routine that lasts about 15mins. Diaper change, sleep sack, book, song, then putting down to sleep. He will feed at least 30 mins before we put him down as he spits up a lot.

Getting him to sleep is either bouncing on a yoga ball or wearing him in a carrier.

I tried to be as detailed as I could, if I missed something let me know and I will add it.

Any advice on things that may need to be changed/adjusted/added/removed to prepare for sleep training?

Thank you in advance!

My baby is 3 months old next week. Up to 8 weeks old, he was good with sleeping in different positions and with me and his dad. Since then, I find it very difficult to put him to sleep.

He only sleeps in the carrier, and will not fall asleep with his dad otherwise. With me, for naps, I can sometimes hold in a cradle position and bounce on the yoga, but it's rare that he will fall asleep that way and not just cry. Thankfully, it still works at night and we can transfer him to his bassinet.

He is always crying before going to sleep, it's like he senses he is being put to sleep and doesn't like it. He cries when he goes in the carrier even though that's the only place he will sleep. Sometimes he cries as soon as we enter the bedroom, as though he knows that's where he is put to sleep.

I have tried keeping his wake windows short, making them longer, waiting for a yawn (which sometimes even 1.5-2h after wake up does not come). I take him when his eyebrows become red and he starts becoming fidgety. But I can never seem to figure out the right time to put him to sleep and without it being accompanied by crying.

I don't have any people around to help, and I didn't get to be around babies at all, so I struggle to understand what is normal and what is not. Sometimes he cries for 15-20 mins before he calms down and then falls asleep, sometimes for 5 or so minutes.

I would love to be able to put him to sleep any other way than the carrier during the day, and hopefully keep the crying to a minimum.

Any advice or tips and tricks?

TIA

I'm currently crying while my husband tries to put our 12 week old baby to sleep after I tried and couldn't take the crying anymore.

I feel like I don't understand him at all I don't get when he is tired, when I should be getting him ready to sleep, when he's overtired, etc.

I was trying to follow his wake windows, but when it got closer to 1.5h awake and I tried to put him to sleep he cried a lot. So I thought oh that's too much, I waited too long. But now, if I try to get him ready around an hour after he wakes up, the same thing happens.

This specific case, he had been awake for an hour and ten minutes, his eyebrows were red and he was getting fussy. I thought this must be the time. He has become very difficult to put to sleep anywhere other than the carrier. I strap him in and he starts screaming his head off. I feel like if I shush or speak to him, it makes him cry worse. At this point, he is red and sweating from the crying but will not calm down, no matter if I am trying to hold him, speak to him, walk with him. It's been about 15-20 mins by now. I managed to calm him temporarily while sitting on a yoga ball, but then he started screaming his head off again and I just couldn't anymore. I'd been trying to hold it together and not cry, but at that point I just couldn't anymore. I unstrapped him, placed him in his bassinet and walked away crying my eyes out.

My husband took over and managed now to put him to sleep within 10 minutes and minimal crying this time.

I just feel like a failure, like I can't do anything right. He is breastfed, I'm always home with him and I can't even calm him down and put him to sleep. I have no family close, and I missed out when my friends and family had children as I've lived abroad for the past 10 years.

My husband was off today, but he will be at work tomorrow and Friday, and I'm already starting to dread having to be home alone. I was going out every day with the baby, trying to meet people, but now I feel anxious about leaving the house in case a) he starts screaming before falling asleep or b) start screaming after waking up, which he also does.

I'm at my wits end, please give me some advice, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I love my baby, I just wish I understood him better.

I'm currently crying while my husband tries to put our 12 week old baby to sleep after I tried and couldn't take his crying anymore.

I feel like I don't understand him at all I don't get when he is tired, when I should be getting him ready to sleep, when he's overtired, etc.

I was trying to follow his wake windows, but when it got closer to 1.5h awake and I tried to put him to sleep he cried a lot. So I thought oh that's too much, I waited too long. But now, if I try to get him ready around an hour after he wakes up, the same thing happens.

This specific case, he had been awake for an hour and ten minutes, his eyebrows were red and he was getting fussy. I thought this must be the time. He has become very difficult to put to sleep anywhere other than the carrier. I strap him in and he starts screaming his head off. I feel like if I shush or speak to him, it makes him cry worse. At this point, he is red and sweating from the crying but will not calm down, no matter if I am trying to hold him, speak to him, walk with him. It's been about 15-20 mins by now. I managed to calm him temporarily while sitting on a yoga ball, but then he started screaming his head off again and I just couldn't anymore. I'd been trying to hold it together and not cry, but at that point I just couldn't anymore. I unstrapped him, placed him in his bassinet and walked away crying my eyes out.

My husband took over and managed now to put him to sleep within 10 minutes and minimal crying this time.

I just feel like a failure, like I can't do anything right. He is breastfed, I'm always home with him and I can't even calm him down and put him to sleep. I have no family close, and I missed out when my friends and family had children as I've lived abroad for the past 10 years, so I have zero experience with babies.

My husband was off today, but he will be at work tomorrow and Friday, and I'm already starting to dread having to be home alone. I was going out every day with the baby, trying to meet people, but now I feel anxious about leaving the house in case a) he starts screaming before falling asleep or b) start screaming after waking up, which he also does.

I'm at my wits end, please give me some advice, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I love my baby, I just wish I understood him better.

I'm a first time mum to an adorable 11 week old baby boy. He had developmental milestones that made his senses better over the past few weeks and since then you can really see that he is more alert and aware of his surroundings.

But also ever since, he is fighting sleep with everything in him. I use the huckleberry app to help with wake windows and when his next nap time is, and it's been quite good as an indicator. He will start showing signs of tiredness around the time the app suggests as well (jerky movements, eyes wondering, sometimes yawning).

I started trying to ease him out of play time by implementing a simple daytime routine as well: diaper change, book, song and then try to put him to sleep. He also will only sleep in the carrier for naps. No matter when I try to put him down, whether early when he is showing signs, or later when he has started whining, he will fight sleep with all his has. He starts crying and screaming and only falls asleep once I think he's too tired to continue. There was about 10 minutes of crying to get him to fall asleep for his current nap.

I don't know what to do to make him stop crying. I'm already wearing him, I hold him close and shush him or speak to him softly, I bounce on the yoga ball (which is how he is put to sleep at night) but it doesn't seem to help. He cries even worse if it's his dad putting him to sleep like this instead of me. I just don't want to let him cry, it feels like I'm implementing the cry it out method without wanting it.

Any words of encouragement or any advice welcome!

This is a weird question, but I can't seem to find much online. I'm from southern Europe, so I have hair everywhere. During pregnancy I didn't notice any changes. I am now 2 months post partum, and something weird (but amazing to me) is happening.

I have not noticed any excess hair loss, but I did notice that my body hair is not growing back in the same amount. I think I did my eyebrows over a month ago, and by now they should have reached my hairline and be down to my eyelashes, but only a few hairs grew back and it took me a couple of seconds to remove the extra ones. I noticed the same with my armpits.

Anyone else had this happen to them? I'm not complaining, just curious if this is normal/common or not.

Our son turns 8 weeks old tomorrow. We were putting him to sleep with a swaddle and that was going great (or as great as it can with a newborn). He started rolling to his side in his swaddle so it obviously became unsafe. And now we have to train him to sleep in a sleep sack.

Little one is so restless, he moves his entire body, flailing his arms and legs all over the place and starts crying when put down in his bassinet. I do not see how we will get him to sleep 😭😭

We try consoling him from the side of the bassinet and if that doesn't work and gets worse, we pick him up to console him before we put him down again. And he starts crying as soon as he is down again.

Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel??! Any advice or kind words appreciated,

Signed tired mum and dad

Hello 🤗 my husband and I just had a baby and I just realised that father's day is this Sunday 🤦🏻‍♀️

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I would like to get him a book about Dutch flora and fauna that he can later use with our son when we go on nature walks. I know it's early, our newborn is not ready for this, but I think it would be a great first gift for my husband as he is very excited and looking forward for the time that he can go to nature and explore with our son.

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Do you have any recommendations for such a book? Maybe one you as a parent or child have used yourself? It can be in Dutch as well, we are both trying to learn the language and we expect that our son will be learning it when he eventually starts daycare.

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Thank you in advance!

Hello, I'm having pain that feels like bruising but without any bruising on my left breast. It is positioned around the 10 o'clock mark if you are looking at it. I was reading other posts in the subredded and they all suggested that it might be clogged ducts, although I, like those people, cannot feel a lump.

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The recommendation generally was to place a hot compress on the area, massage it and pump between feeds. Unfortunately I don't have a pump anymore. I only have a haakaa, which, coincidentally, I used for the first time to catch my letdown while feeding my baby on the other breast right before I started having the pain. I'm not sure if they're related.

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So given that I have no pump, would using the haakaa help? Or should I just try to hand express in between? My baby also started feeding only from one breast at a time during feeds. So I am going 4 to 6 hours between feeds on each boob.

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Any advice on how to help this without the pump is welcome. Thank you!

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Hello, I'm a FTM to a 6 week old baby boy 💙

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I've not been around babies much, so I'm learning to be a parent as I go. I was wondering if what I'm doing is fine, or if there are some things I should be doing that I don't do right now.

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Here is how my day looks:

Baby wakes up at 1-2am, breastfeed and put back to sleep.

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Baby wakes up at 5-6am, breastfeed and try to put back to sleep. Sometimes works (we both sleep til 8-9am), sometimes doesn't and I take the baby to the living room. We chat a little, the baby might sleep, or is having cramps and I try to console him.

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We feed every 2-3 hours, after each feed I will try to put baby to sleep. Sometimes I put him in his bassinet so that I can make myself lunch or clean up a little bit. He usually doesn't fall asleep in there by himself, but he will entertain himself with the mobile until he starts crying to be picked up. If he's awake, I will always try to play with him or talk to him and engage with him. But I always try to get him to sleep at least an hour between feeds.

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He has a feed around 6-7 pm, getting him to sleep after this is very difficult. He's also usually very cranky and crying a lot at this time so we just tried to console him or do bicycles for example to relieve his pain.

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His last feed is around 8-9pm, where we swaddle him and we put him to sleep directly after the feed and he sleeps until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning.

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We don't necessarily do tummy time because right now he's quite cranky and he doesn't like being on his belly. He will cry within 20 seconds, but he does spend a lot of time on our chest where he can exercise his neck in a different form of tummy time.

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Is there anything I'm missing or anything I should already be doing? What does your schedule look like?

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Any recommendations or advice welcome.

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Thanks in advance!

I am three weeks postpartum and I have not yet looked at my vagina after the birth, as I've been a bit scared. I can feel that things are not the same as before, so I want to look but keep postponing it 😅

When did you have your first look at the consequences of birth? And advice / comments to keep in mind?

TIA

Hello, I've been an avid user of this subreddit as this was my first pregnancy and I had a lot of questions/ uncertainty/ need for support and I felt like people in this subreddit always delivered.

Now that I have graduated into a first time mum, I wanted to share my birth story in case it helps anyone in any way.

My son was born late April at 40w+3d. I live in the Netherlands and here the pregnancy is followed by a midwife if you have no special conditions that require a gynecologist to follow your pregnancy. The default is to give birth at home, but you can opt to give birth in the hospital as well with your midwife. As a first time mum, I didn't want to risk it.

This was my birth plan in a nutshell: give birth at the hospital with my own midwife as I really had a good connection with her. This meant that I couldn't have a medicated birth (otherwise you pass onto the hospital staff). I wanted a water birth to help with the pain instead.

At 40w+2d my water broke at 2am. I started having contractions, they seemed to be regular up until 9am, when they stopped altogether. My midwife confirmed that my water had broken and advised me to stay home and relaxed in the hopes that my labour starts naturally. They checked on me multiple times after that over the phone. By 7pm, I still had no contractions. If they didn't start by 1am the following day, I would have to go to the hospital and be followed by the hospital staff due to increased risk of infection. My contractions only started around 3am, were 4-5 mins apart.

Around 5am I went to the bathroom and noticed that my amniotic fluid was slightly green-ish. Although I was expected at 9am at the hospital, we called them and went early to make sure that they could also check for meconium in the amniotic fluid.

Turns out baby did poop in the womb. This made the risk of infection even higher, so now labour had to start one way or another. They checked if I was dilated, I was 1cm. This meant I had to be given oxytocin to induce labour. I started oxytocin at 8am. I started having contractions that were very close to one another, but not lasting enough to make an impact on my dilation. I hadn't slept much in the last 48hours, and the oxytocin was taking everything out of me. I sort of passed out from exhaustion in between contractions, but it was always short-lived, as the contractions came too quickly. My body started shaking, I couldn't control my legs anymore. So I asked for medication.

After 5 hours on oxytocin, I had dilated another 2cm. This was going very slow, so I opted to get an epidural. After getting the epidural, I was in a blissful state. I could still feel the contractions, but not the pain. I even managed to sleep! I got told that a possible side effect of the epidural is a longer labour. But, after 3 hours on the epidural, I had dilated to 9cm, do 6cm in 3 hours, compared to 2cm in 5 hours only on oxytocin. I made it to 10cm after an hour, but had to wait to push as the baby hadn't descended properly. An hour later, it was time.

I could still feel my contractions, so I got to stay on the epidural also while giving birth. This is not the case for everyone, since you have to feel the contractions in order to know when to push. If the epidural doesn't let you feel the contractions, they will stop the epidural and you will have a fully felt birth.

After 65 mins of pushing, my beautiful baby boy was born. I. Total, my labour lasted 42hours from when my water broke. During my stay in the hospital, I met 4 different sets of doctors as the shifts changed, with 9 different doctors/residents doing checkups and eventually attending to the birth.

Nothing went according to my plan. Regardless, I still feel like I had a positive birthing experience. I was always aware that things may not go my way so I was mentally prepared to have to change course. I think this helped me be more accepting. I just wanted what was best for me and my baby, and if that meant throwing my birth plan out the window, then so be it.

I wanted to share this as a story for others to also see that having things go haywire doesn't necessarily mean things are going to be bad. Was my experience ideal, of course not. The extra anxiety of having a double risk of infection did not help, but in the end all went well and I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

I really hope someone reads this and it eases their mind. And I'm open to questions or comments for anyone who needs it.

TLDR: I had to throw out my birth plan, and have a completely different experience than expected, but it was still good and I now have a healthy baby boy.

Hello, I am trying to exclusively breastfeed but it's been a long journey and we are not there yet. I have an appointment with a lactation consultant on Monday and I wrote her that I have a lot of pain in my right boob because the nipple is cracked.

I am not breastfeeding with that breast at the moment to ensure it gets at least somewhat better before the LC visit. She recommended I continue to pump on a setting no higher than 4 (Meleda professional pump, rented from hospital). But this setting barely extracts any milk and I am developing some pain on the side and underside of my boob. Is there anything I can do to make the pain go away? I usually pump for 15mins and I try to use my hand to "push" my milk down.

I am pumping every other time the baby feeds. The last time I barely got 10ml of milk out.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hello, I just gave birth to my first child, a lovely baby boy born yesterday. I am trying to breastfeed, getting help from the nurses at the hospital to get me started. But it seems to be such a frustrating situation for baby boy. He doesn't latch properly, can't suck properly and then gets frustrated and starts crying. I don't have much milk, as it's a vicious cycle where he needs to demand for there to be supply. I am trying to pump as well to stimulate milk production.

One of the nurses we had today felt like her patience was gone by the end of this evening as it is a very frustrating process trying to get baby boy to suck. She mentioned that his tongue is in the wrong position, that it stays up instead of going down under the nipple, to help pull it into the mouth for it to be in a good position for breastfeeding. She said that it's just something the baby needs to learn not to do.

My question is has anyone else had this happen with their baby, and if so, did you manage to make them "fix" their tongue position to continue with breastfeeding? Do you have any advice on how to correct this?

Also if you have any breastfeeding advice, please let me know. Logically, I know it's not easy and so many people struggle with it, but emotionally, I feel like I'm letting my baby down. We have had to supplement with formula to keep him fed enough and I know there's nothing wrong with that, I just wish I had enough milk to feed him properly myself.

Thank you!!