Today I did my first ever pointe class at my home studio. I'm 24 years old and have been doing ballet since 22. How is my form and positioning of the feet? Is it obvious that I'm a beginner lol. My toes were in a little pain after but I feel fine now! Open to any constructive criticism and suggestions!
Photos: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sYHlVZi3MhOW-e_zmFB5Qd9J9_qWPjPp
I'm a beginner pointe dancer and recently got fitted for and purchased these shoes. They felt good in the store but now that I've worn them in class they hurt so bad. My teacher said the shank is too hard and the box is too narrow for a beginner so she was surprised they let me get them instead of a shoe with a wider box. I wore them yesterday and they felt okay but today it was really painful like I couldn't be on pointe at the bar for more than 30 seconds. I spent a pretty penny on them and the store won't let me return them and I don't have the funds to buy another pair anytime soon. Maybe I need to break them in more? I wore the toe pads I bought at the store as well and they did the sewing of the ribbons for me. Pictures linked here.
23F I've been bullied, left out, and ostracized my entire life. I've always tried to be a genuine and kind person because I believe it's the right thing to do, and it costs nothing to be kind and respect others. Since elementary school, I remember being left out on the playground, kids building snow forts they'd play in all winter, and me being "banned" from entering, even while my father was sick with cancer in 4th grade and passed away people were still being mean and saying I just want attention and making "anti-OP" clubs at school where the only rule was you can't be friends with me. Then in middle/high school I had some people I hung out with but I was the butt of every joke and the backup friend, and other people would say hi to my friends and ignore me even tho we're all walking together. My "friends" would go after guys I liked and rub it in my face when the guys reciprocated, they'd do things and not invite me, people would make group chats and add me just to call me ugly and other things.
On top of that, my mom was a religious freak and wouldn't allow me to do anything normal and turn anything into hysterics and cry/scream about everything. I was slut-shamed as a pre-teen for wanting to wear normal clothes, and she and her family beat into my head that most things a woman does are slutty and that keeping my virginity till marriage was the most important thing I could do. Oh she also participated in making fun of me from the way I dance (something I really was passionate about as a kid) to agreeing with my friend who made fun of my eyebrows. She also married a man I don't like on my 17th birthday and moved him into our house 1 month into the relationship, and as a result I had to cover up every time I left my bedroom and that's how I spent quarantine.
I moved to a different city at 20 by myself to get away from everything and everyone. I'm currently NC with my mom and brothers. I was so focused on working 7 days a week and saving up money to move out that I kinda didn't have time to process everything I'd been through. Things were okay from age 20-21, I was getting a lot of attention from men and that was validating I guess even if I knew they didn't actually care about me but for once I was being invited to a lot of parties and feeling "popular" even though I still was noticing coldness from my peers at school and work. It was all empty validation.
Now fast forward, I live in a different country on the other side of the continent, I'm with a great man who loves me dearly, and ever since I finished school and have 24/7 free time due to waiting to get my work permit I'm regressing back to feeling like I did before I moved out. My confidence is completely shot, I feel so hideous and fat despite having lost 25 pounds since April and my BMI being in the normal range. I hate how I look in videos and I feel like all my old insecurities have come back. I'm back to being a loner and being left out in dance class, in the industry I want to be in (I go to a lot of networking events and shows related to it) and to make it worse the dream job I wanted since I was a kid requires lots of being on camera and being social and I can't get over how I look in videos and pictures.
It irks me because I know I have potential to have a good life and I feel like I'm squandering it by not fully putting myself out there and doing what I know needs to be done in order to get to my goals in life out of fear. Even within my industry I constantly get ignored by other artists when I try to arrange some sort of collaboration or I respond to their posts where they're looking for someone who can do X or Y skill that I'm very good at. They leave me on read all the time. Even people I've paid to work on my projects seem to put me at the absolute bottom of their priority list with people taking 1+ month to deliver something that is done in 1-2 hours and ignoring my messages as soon as I've paid the full balance. One person I am currently working (paying them to do something for my project) with asked for my Instagram, looked at it, didn't follow me back, and I noticed when I left a supportive comment on their recent post mine was the only one they didn't like/reply to.
I'm honestly at my wits end because I've always done my best to be supportive, kind, genuine, and helpful and always going out of my way for others and all I'm met with is rejection after rejection. I don't see what the point of living another 60+ years is if I'm not going to achieve the one dream I had my whole life, if everyone I interact with is going to have some sort of animosity towards me, I'm never going to fit in anywhere I go, and I'm not even happy with how I look and can't get over my perceived awkwardness. I'd rather just exit early than have to deal with this constant heartbreak and anixety and masking.
23F I've been bullied, left out, and ostracized my entire life. I've always tried to be a genuine and kind person because I believe it's the right thing to do, and it costs nothing to be kind and respect others. Since elementary school, I remember being left out on the playground, kids building snow forts they'd play in all winter, and me being "banned" from entering, even while my father was sick with cancer in 4th grade and passed away people were still being mean and saying I just want attention and making "anti-OP" clubs at school where the only rule was you can't be friends with me. Then in middle/high school I had some people I hung out with but I was the butt of every joke and the backup friend, and other people would say hi to my friends and ignore me even tho we're all walking together. My "friends" would go after guys I liked and rub it in my face when the guys reciprocated, they'd do things and not invite me, people would make group chats and add me just to call me ugly and other things.
On top of that, my mom was a religious freak and wouldn't allow me to do anything normal and turn anything into hysterics and cry/scream about everything. I was slut-shamed as a pre-teen for wanting to wear normal clothes, and she and her family beat into my head that most things a woman does are slutty and that keeping my virginity till marriage was the most important thing I could do. Oh she also participated in making fun of me from the way I dance (something I really was passionate about as a kid) to agreeing with my friend who made fun of my eyebrows. She also married a man I don't like on my 17th birthday and moved him into our house 1 month into the relationship, and as a result I had to cover up every time I left my bedroom and that's how I spent quarantine.
I moved to a different city at 20 by myself to get away from everything and everyone. I'm currently NC with my mom and brothers. I was so focused on working 7 days a week and saving up money to move out that I kinda didn't have time to process everything I'd been through. Things were okay from age 20-21, I was getting a lot of attention from men and that was validating I guess even if I knew they didn't actually care about me but for once I was being invited to a lot of parties and feeling "popular" even though I still was noticing coldness from my peers at school and work. It was all empty validation.
Now fast forward, I live in a different country on the other side of the continent, I'm with a great man who loves me dearly, and ever since I finished school and have 24/7 free time due to waiting to get my work permit I'm regressing back to feeling like I did before I moved out. My confidence is completely shot, I feel so hideous and fat despite having lost 25 pounds since April and my BMI being in the normal range. I hate how I look in videos and I feel like all my old insecurities have come back. I'm back to being a loner and being left out in dance class, in the industry I want to be in (I go to a lot of networking events and shows related to it) and to make it worse the dream job I wanted since I was a kid requires lots of being on camera and being social and I can't get over how I look in videos and pictures.
It irks me because I know I have potential to have a good life and I feel like I'm squandering it by not fully putting myself out there and doing what I know needs to be done in order to get to my goals in life out of fear. Even within my industry I constantly get ignored by other artists when I try to arrange some sort of collaboration or I respond to their posts where they're looking for someone who can do X or Y skill that I'm very good at. They leave me on read all the time. Even people I've paid to work on my projects seem to put me at the absolute bottom of their priority list with people taking 1+ month to deliver something that is done in 1-2 hours and ignoring my messages as soon as I've paid the full balance. One person I am currently working (paying them to do something for my project) with asked for my Instagram, looked at it, didn't follow me back, and I noticed when I left a supportive comment on their recent post mine was the only one they didn't like/reply to.
I'm honestly at my wits end because I've always done my best to be supportive, kind, genuine, and helpful and always going out of my way for others and all I'm met with is rejection after rejection. I don't see what the point of living another 60+ years is if I'm not going to achieve the one dream I had my whole life, if everyone I interact with is going to have some sort of animosity towards me, I'm never going to fit in anywhere I go, and I'm not even happy with how I look and can't get over my perceived awkwardness. I'd rather just exit early than have to deal with this constant heartbreak and anixety and masking.
I'm 23F and live in a different country than my family for context. I've been NC with my family for almost a year now. Stupid religious disagreements that I wish weren't a factor but what can I do. The disagreement is on their side and I am willing to be in contact with them but they basically disowned me for not believing in the religion I was born into. I never blocked my family anywhere but my brother blocked me which was unexpected as he also left the religion but didn't tell my family like I did. I tried to reach out to him as I stumbled across some concerning reddit posts he made and was worried about his mental health. It took him 2 months to respond to me when I reached out through reddit which was the only place he didn't block me, and we talked for a couple of days, he then blocked me on there too mid-conversation which hurt. Last month I sent my mom a gift for her birthday with a note saying I love her and was hoping it could serve as some sort of olive branch with her. I heard nothing since and its been over a month. She still watches my social media stories/posts and reposts things about being a bad mother and failing as a mom and how sad she is from a betrayal.
A year before we went NC I received the rest of my inheritance (my dad passed when I was 10) from her. Her sister reached out to me today saying my mom loves me, is always bragging about me (funny because growing up I was always criticized and compared to other kids and have low self-esteem now) She then proceeds to ask me when I'm going back to the country my mom lives and I told her we don't talk so where would I go. She then asks me if I'm done with school (I originally came to the country I live on a student visa) and if I have my inheritance money. I don't respond to that part. She then brings it back and says "we need to bring that money back to *3rd world country where my parents grew up and where my extended family lives*" Idk if it got lost in translation or what but I'm confused on why I need to bring that money there and why it has anything to do with them.
Also, right after my dad passed they asked my mom for a 40K euro loan from the $ my dad left behind when she was extremely vulnerable and she stupidly gave it to them, they still haven't paid it back despite having a very successful business and being wealthy and it's been 14 years now. Honestly I love my mom and brothers but my whole life she's just making bad decision after bad decision that negatively impacts mine and my brothers lives and she's not really thinking about it. I was also not provided proper resources, encouragement or knowledge to succeed and just expected to be the best. She didn't finish high school until her 40s when I was an adult and hasn't worked outside of the house or have much knowledge of how the real world works so I was kind of left to figure everything out myself in terms of university, financial knowledge, social skills as the oldest child.
Now I'm 23 and most people would say I'm "successful" or doing well for my age but I feel like my confidence and social skills are soooo behind because of the years of bullying at school compounded with religious trauma, negging, criticizing everything I do down to what I'm wearing, being called a whore at 14 for wearing a dress SHE bought me to a family outing, and so much more. I understand it must not have been easy moving to a new country at 19, learning a new language, not finishing school, and having your husband die at 32 leaving you with 3 kids 10 and under. It makes me cry just thinking how she must have felt. But come on, I was a KID and I lost my DAD too. Another thing is my brothers got taken to get checked for autism/ADHD which they have and I was always denied that even though I always felt something was different and my social skills were beyond just being shy and awkward. I went through my whole childhood, teens, and now early twenties being bullying/left out/isolated by my peers and blaming myself for it and am now coming to terms with the fact that I might just be autistic and not receiving the proper care to deal with my struggles.
Ugh everything just makes me so mad and the fact I was kind of happy my aunt reached out saying my mom misses me, only for it to be about money...I just don't know what to do. Also I don't know how to interpret everything she was saying. Is she really just trying to get the money from me?
I'm 23F and live in a different country than my family for context. I've been NC with my family for almost a year now. Stupid religious disagreements that I wish weren't a factor but what can I do. The disagreement is on their side and I am willing to be in contact with them but they basically disowned me for not believing in the religion I was born into. I never blocked my family anywhere but my brother blocked me. I tried to reach out as I stumbled across some concerning reddit posts he made and was worried about his mental health. It took him 2 months to respond to me when I reached out through reddit which was the only place he didn't block me, and we talked for a couple of days, he then blocked me on there too mid-conversation. Last month I sent my mom a gift for her birthday with a note saying I love her and was hoping it could serve as some sort of olive branch with her. I heard nothing since and its been over a month. She still watches my social media stories/posts and reposts things about being a bad mother and failing as a mom and how sad she is from a betrayal.
A year before we went NC I received the rest of my inheritance (my dad passed when I was 10) from her. Her sister reached out to me today saying my mom loves me, is always bragging about me (funny because growing up I was always criticized and compared to other kids and have low self-esteem now) She then proceeds to ask me when I'm going back to the country my mom lives and I told her we don't talk so where would I go. She then asks me if I'm done with school (I originally came to the country I live on a student visa) and if I have my inheritance money. I don't respond to that part. She then brings it back and says "we need to bring that money back to *3rd world country where my parents grew up and where my extended family lives*" Idk if it got lost in translation or what but I'm confused on why I need to bring that money there and why it has anything to do with them.
Also, right after my dad passed they asked my mom for a 40K euro loan from the $ my dad left behind when she was extremely vulnerable and she stupidly gave it to them, they still haven't paid it back despite having a very successful business and being wealthy and it's been 14 years now. Honestly I love my mom and brothers but my whole life she's just making bad decision after bad decision that negatively impacts mine and my brothers lives and she's not really thinking about it. I was also not provided proper resources, encouragement or knowledge to succeed and just expected to be the best. She didn't finish high school until her 40s when I was an adult and hasn't worked outside of the house or have much knowledge of how the real world works so I was kind of left to figure everything out myself in terms of university, financial knowledge, social skills as the oldest child.
Now I'm 23 and most people would say I'm "successful" or doing well for my age but I feel like my confidence and social skills are soooo behind because of the years of bullying at school compounded with religious trauma, negging, criticizing everything I do down to what I'm wearing, being called a whore at 14 for wearing a dress SHE bought me to a family outing, and so much more. I understand it must not have been easy moving to a new country at 19, learning a new language, not finishing school, and having your husband die at 32 leaving you with 3 kids 10 and under. It makes me cry just thinking how she must have felt. But come on, I was a KID and I lost my DAD too. Another thing is my brothers got taken to get checked for autism/ADHD which they have and I was always denied that even though I always felt something was different and my social skills were beyond just being shy and awkward. I went through my whole childhood, teens, and now early twenties being bullying/left out/isolated by my peers and blaming myself for it and am now coming to terms with the fact that I might just be autistic and not receiving the proper care to deal with my struggles.
Ugh everything just makes me so mad and the fact I was kind of happy my aunt reached out saying my mom misses me, only for it to be about money...I just don't know what to do. Also I don't know how to interpret everything she was saying. Is she really just trying to get the money from me?
I'm 23F and live in a different country than my family for context. I've been NC with my family for almost a year now. Stupid religious disagreements that I wish weren't a factor but what can I do. The disagreement is on their side and I am willing to be in contact with them but they basically disowned me for not believing in the religion I was born into. I never blocked my family anywhere but my brother blocked me. I tried to reach out as I stumbled across some concerning reddit posts he made and was worried about his mental health. It took him 2 months to respond to me when I reached out through reddit which was the only place he didn't block me, and we talked for a couple of days, he then blocked me on there too mid-conversation. Last month I sent my mom a gift for her birthday with a note saying I love her and was hoping it could serve as some sort of olive branch with her. I heard nothing since and its been over a month. She still watches my social media stories/posts and reposts things about being a bad mother and failing as a mom and how sad she is from a betrayal.
A year before we went NC I received the rest of my inheritance (my dad passed when I was 10) from her. Her sister reached out to me today saying my mom loves me, is always bragging about me (funny because growing up I was always criticized and compared to other kids and have low self-esteem now) She then proceeds to ask me when I'm going back to the country my mom lives and I told her we don't talk so where would I go. She then asks me if I'm done with school (I originally came to the country I live on a student visa) and if I have my inheritance money. I don't respond to that part. She then brings it back and says "we need to bring that money back to *3rd world country where my parents grew up and where my extended family lives*" Idk if it got lost in translation or what but I'm confused on why I need to bring that money there and why it has anything to do with them.
Also, right after my dad passed they asked my mom for a 40K euro loan from the $ my dad left behind when she was extremely vulnerable and she stupidly gave it to them, they still haven't paid it back despite having a very successful business and being wealthy and it's been 14 years now. Honestly I love my mom and brothers but my whole life she's just making bad decision after bad decision that negatively impacts mine and my brothers lives and she's not really thinking about it. I was also not provided proper resources, encouragement or knowledge to succeed and just expected to be the best. She didn't finish high school until her 40s when I was an adult and hasn't worked outside of the house or have much knowledge of how the real world works so I was kind of left to figure everything out myself in terms of university, financial knowledge, social skills as the oldest child.
Now I'm 23 and most people would say I'm "successful" or doing well for my age but I feel like my confidence and social skills are soooo behind because of the years of bullying at school compounded with religious trauma, negging, criticizing everything I do down to what I'm wearing, being called a whore at 14 for wearing a dress SHE bought me to a family outing, and so much more. I understand it must not have been easy moving to a new country at 19, learning a new language, not finishing school, and having your husband die at 32 leaving you with 3 kids 10 and under. It makes me cry just thinking how she must have felt. But come on, I was a KID and I lost my DAD too. Another thing is my brothers got taken to get checked for autism/ADHD which they have and I was always denied that even though I always felt something was different and my social skills were beyond just being shy and awkward. I went through my whole childhood, teens, and now early twenties being bullying/left out/isolated by my peers and blaming myself for it and am now coming to terms with the fact that I might just be autistic and not receiving the proper care to deal with my struggles.
Ugh everything just makes me so mad and the fact I was kind of happy my aunt reached out saying my mom misses me, only for it to be about money...I just don't know what to do. Also I don't know how to interpret everything she was saying. Is she really just trying to get the money from me?
I've been struggling with feeling like I don't belong in this industry. For context, I moved to LA 4 years ago to pursue being a singer, which was my lifelong dream. I moved here alone with zero connections and my family is from a third world country and has no music ties. I don't feel like I started taking it seriously until about a year ago honestly, but I did start performing with a band and making original songs in 2023. Anyway, I've been struggling with feeling left out of everything. I have a lot of acquaintances who are also artists or close to artists and I see everyone succeeding and getting big gigs and their music getting lots of streams and I feel like I just can't get to that level. There's also cliques within the industry and I can't seem to find my place with anybody, they only talk to me when it's related to me working for them for free or I'm paying someone to produce, mix, master etc. I know it sounds bad but I wanna be part of some group or something, I feel like I'm doing this all alone truly. God knows how many shows I did where no one came to support me and I performed for an empty crowd. One of those was last night so I guess that's why I'm feeling this way today. All the opportunities I do get end up being "hey write me 5 songs for free and maaaaaybe i'll tell someone at this company about you" or "can you be an extra in my music video where we'll shoot for 12 hours" and nothing ever comes of it. I feel like I've been working for everyone's dreams for free and they're all getting to the places I want to be. I don't know what else to do though because I feel like if I don't take a "job" I'll miss out on some important connection but again they all end with the person I worked for ghosting/ignoring me or only reaching out when they need something. I feel like a floating piece of trash no one wants tbh.
What makes it worse is everyone that does hear me sing or hears my songs I've written tells me I have potential and I have an amazing voice, so why is no one supporting me? Why does everyone I reach out to leave me on read or ignore me? Why is the producer I paid a ton of money for a song ignoring me now that I've paid the full fee and I still have no song? It's honestly disheartening. I've also got pretty bad body dysmorphia and I know I have a lot of work to do before I'm aesthetically up to "industry standards" and my brain tells me people don't want to work with me because I'm not super thin or I don't wear underwear and pose sexual on my instagram. It sometimes feels like my current life has regressed back to high school when everyone was ignoring my existence constantly. I know I have the talent and work ethic, why won't anyone give me an actual chance! I have my bachelor's, I did 4 unpaid internships that got me nowhere, I got signed to a small college label and they dropped me a week later, I've worked on over 50 projects for others mostly for free. I feel like I did the work, I put in my hours, I show up with a positive attitude and go above and beyond. Why do I not matter at all in this industry? I want this so bad, it's the only dream I've ever had and the only thing I see myself doing. I just don't see how it's gonna work out sometimes. I'm also 23 and a girl so it feels like time is running out for me as you know how it is, women "age out" of pop pretty quickly. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.
I've been struggling with feeling like I don't belong in this industry. For context, I moved to LA 4 years ago to pursue being a singer, which was my lifelong dream. I moved here alone with zero connections and my family is from a third world country and has no music ties. I don't feel like I started taking it seriously until about a year ago honestly, but I did start performing with a band and making original songs in 2023. Anyway, I've been struggling with feeling left out of everything. I have a lot of acquaintances who are also artists or close to artists and I see everyone succeeding and getting big gigs and their music getting lots of streams and I feel like I just can't get to that level. There's also cliques within the industry and I can't seem to find my place with anybody, they only talk to me when it's related to me working for them for free or I'm paying someone to produce, mix, master etc. I know it sounds bad but I wanna be part of some group or something, I feel like I'm doing this all alone truly. God knows how many shows I did where no one came to support me and I performed for an empty crowd. One of those was last night so I guess that's why I'm feeling this way today. All the opportunities I do get end up being "hey write me 5 songs for free and maaaaaybe i'll tell someone at this company about you" or "can you be an extra in my music video where we'll shoot for 12 hours" and nothing ever comes of it. I feel like I've been working for everyone's dreams for free and they're all getting to the places I want to be. I don't know what else to do though because I feel like if I don't take a "job" I'll miss out on some important connection but again they all end with the person I worked for ghosting/ignoring me or only reaching out when they need something. I feel like a floating piece of trash no one wants tbh.
What makes it worse is everyone that does hear me sing or hears my songs I've written tells me I have potential and I have an amazing voice, so why is no one supporting me? Why does everyone I reach out to leave me on read or ignore me? Why is the producer I paid a ton of money for a song ignoring me now that I've paid the full fee and I still have no song? It's honestly disheartening. I've also got pretty bad body dysmorphia and I know I have a lot of work to do before I'm aesthetically up to "industry standards" and my brain tells me people don't want to work with me because I'm not super thin or I don't wear underwear and pose sexual on my instagram. It sometimes feels like my current life has regressed back to high school when everyone was ignoring my existence constantly. I know I have the talent and work ethic, why won't anyone give me an actual chance! I have my bachelor's, I did 4 unpaid internships that got me nowhere, I got signed to a small college label and they dropped me a week later, I've worked on over 50 projects for others mostly for free. I sit down once a week and apply for tons of opportunities and I'm open to any type of experience, I feel like I did the work, I put in my hours, I show up with a positive attitude and go above and beyond. Why do I not matter at all in this industry? I want this so bad, it's the only dream I've ever had and the only thing I see myself doing. I just don't see how it's gonna work out sometimes. I'm also 23 and a girl so it feels like time is running out for me as you know how it is, women "age out" of pop pretty quickly. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.
Hi everyone! I'm moving from LA to SD in August, and I'm a pop singer-songwriter who loves to perform. I currently have about 40 gigs under my belt and have a few more to do this summer before moving down. I'm looking to build a list of places that I can submit myself to perform at in San Diego and nearby area. I'll sing at any place, music venue, bar, cafe, you name it. Any recommendations?
I recently finished a song with an up and coming producer in LA, we wrote the song together and he produced it with me present. I am, however having communication issues with him as he takes over a week to respond to a single text, and now he's stopped respond all together. I have the unmixed demo of the song, but I'm waiting for the final mix from him. I reached out asking if I could get the instrumental track for performances, nothing. I reached out to check in, nothing. I paid this guy a lot of money that I honestly don't have much to dispose of like that because I really love his music and the songs he's made for bigger artists and I saw it as an investment in my career. I'm worried I'm never gonna get the final mix or at least the stems. Of course I already paid in full and I noticed when I needed an extra day to pay the rest of his fee bc of a bank issue he was so quick to answer me (I was also updating him so he didn't think I wasn't trying to pay) and now that I paid him his whole fee he's just done responding and I have no final version of my song. Am I just overthinking or is this possibly me being ghosted? Also wanna add he has HUGE clients so ik hes busy but I feel like his communication is none existent since paying him vs before it was just sporadic.
Hi everyone! I recently accepted my offer for the Film Production MFA at SDSU, I was wondering if we are allowed to have a minor in a different field while doing a master's. I'm interested in a dance or marketing minor. I wouldn't mind taking an extra class each semester and paying more if that's required, but does anyone know if it's allowed/possible?