u/Sea_Measurement_1654

In June 2026 in a small rural town in New Zealand a local hospital released an elderly man and called his son-in-law, Richard, to come collect him. They called the wrong person with the same name. He arrived at the hospital and took the stranger home. He said the town is so small it was no trouble.

...walking on frost barefoot is the New Zealand version of the Swiss ice plunge.

Has to be good for you.

That's your number eight wire thought for the day.

RNZ reports that job seeker benefit will stop for youths with health and disability issues. Upston states they should be cared for by family first and that they will have better outcomes if they are in work or study (who will hire and retain a young person experiencing Psychosis during high unemployment?)

NZ in the late 1880s had a similar welfare policy. Church and family were the welfare system. This had very tangible consequences for all NZ society and eyewitness accounts of life for some elderly and disabled are in our historical records. It was bleak.

Now, there will be a small portion of young people with psychiatric illness who will be forced to study and may be a risk to themselves or others. This is playing roulette with them, their families and your children sitting next to them at a course.

What these regressive welfare policies will look like to you is more news stories, more young people living on the streets, increased risk within some homes and even in some youth education environments.

The current trajectory of erasing 100 years of welfare progress will create a worse social landscape for you and me, even those who support these moves will experience this new regressive social NZ.

I'm in Australasia, not The States or Europe.

I'm in a long marriage. Both our first marriage. We had a thing here called "Tenants in common" where half of our estate goes to the living partner and the other half belongs to the other will recipients (kids). The living spouse can live in the house till they die.

When I met my husband he had a child and a house so we got a will with tenants in common so half the house would always be safe for his son (this protects the wealth from new relationships in the event of either one of our deaths).

After eighteen years marriage and a second child we went to the lawyer to have tenants in common removed. Now everything goes to the living spouse. In the event of both our deaths the kids get everything (equal split).

The reason we wanted this is we've doubled our wealth and dwellings and I've contributed a lot financially. If either one of us died I believe the other should have full autonomy over the estate. If the living spouse downsized, for example, the equity would go *immediately to the children* which gives the living spouse no choice about retirement income or buying property near grandkids etc. One child is wealthy already.

When we went to the lawyer she was very aggressive with me about the change and I came out of the room shaking, feeling judged and attacked.

She asked my husband repeatedly about his consent, as if it was a divorce rather than a Will change. She stated "[Me] could take everything for my biological child and leave nothing for my stepchild". I found this offensive as I em an equal in the marriage and parenting. There's no bias except in her mind. I was blended INTO the family. I didn't bring dependents or liabilities in.

My husband and I have worked hard and plan to gift equally to our kids but want financial freedom in our elder years too. One of our kids is rich and will get paid an inheritance eventually, an equal share, but not just because one of us might downsize when we're elderly.

Thoughts?

Could we be sued by any of the kids? One has married into a rich litigious family.

We're simple people and I hate messy inheritance fights and would like to avoid at all costs.

Has anyone recovered from bladder surgery then returned to cycling?

My husband is having surgery soon to improve bladder flow. I assume I will need to lend him my seat as it's a full length cut out.

Any other advice? He's still booking himself into races with about a seven month healing period.

Do you do it? Is it safe?

I'm 54F and don't have diagnosed heart disease but it runs in the family so getting fitter on the bike, it plays on my mind.

I'm ready to get hill fit as I can do 60km on the flat no probs. I'm just concerned hill cycling might literally be my hill to die on.

I carry aspirin on every long ride and put it in my husband's cycling kit as well, in case we come across someone having a heart attack in the forest.

My sister had to try to resuscitate a guy on the golf course and I've had to help a guy collapsed in the bread aisle at the supermarket. Neither old guy made it.

Please tell me my paranoia is unfounded as I'm sick of hills beating me.

I usually talk to my husband about everything related regarding our kids. This time, I think it best to carry this myself.

My husband is a very good dad and he raised his son and step kid alone, then met me and we had another child together. Briefly we were a blended family then my stepson married into a very rich traditional family. They seemed welcoming.

It turns out they've been judging us for over a decade. They don't respect my husband at all for having two relationships (his first wife was mentally unwell). The don't respect me for choosing to step parent. When my husband isn't in the room my DIL makes her views clear to me. I have to accept them or I'll never see our grandkids. She kept her cards close to her chest the entire time.

They heavily influence our son and when he started his own family they aggressively cut us out of our grandkids lives. All the birthdays etc happen at the in laws. The DIL parents call all the shots financially and with, everything, really. We can't compete and we're not poor.

It breaks me heart for my husband and I don't particularly like being at the bottom of an aggressive status-family. My birth child has witnessed this her whole life and will be forced to choose one day. I think it's already happening and she's constantly choosing my husband and I. She shouldn't have to.

I just want to cry.

I think this issue I have may cultural as most cultures support effort?

My husband and I returned to cycling in middle age. I thought family and friends would cheer us on but, me particularly, have had negative comments, or advice to buy an ebike.

"You're nuts. You're crazy" when I talk about a forty km ride, which is fairly short in cycling contexts.

I've been told by younger family I should "look after my husband". He's the one choosing to enter races. I don't control him.

I work in a vertical hierarchy and the last race I entered had colleagues ten years younger and higher up the hierarchy. I bet they get nothing but praise for cycling and racing.

I've stopped posting pictures on Facebook and only put podium photos in private groups with my kids or on Strava.

I've started to connect with other women at big race events who love distance riding. We share the positive energy, whether we're riding at the front or rear of the pack, it doesn't matter.

Am I the only one with this issue?

What's your slightly unhinged advice for race day you swear by?

Not the months of training and buying a fast bike but the mental tricks you use, or weird snacks, or pacing techniques.

The first race I entered I was so scared of being last that I decided every time I had to slow for a ford I'd sprint after to make up average speed. It worked that time and I've never done it since.

I need some confidence tricks as I'm not at the age where I will get exponentially better.

Hi, I have a local 66km gravel race this Sunday.

I did a test ride on some of the course last weekend on my gravel bike and it was quite rough (lose gravel, muddy potholes etc). It's winter here.

My cross country mountain bike is good on rough terrain but slower.

The way the Race company organises timing they really cater for the faster riders. Arriving at the finish in the last third of the pack can be embarrassing. The race commentator often mocks riders who are slower. I'm only supporting this company to motivate me to ride over winter and I enjoy riding beside the river where the race is set.

Do I ride my faster gravel bike which will hurt my wrists and may be prone to a flat tire or do I ride my slow light mountain bike that will be comfortable and has the better tires?

It's too late to get better tires for the gravel bike.

I expect the gravel bike would make me 10-15 minutes faster which will matter at the finish line.

I've been going down a rabbit hole about where I might be consuming artificial sweeteners. I know I get splitting headaches with aspartame and other artificial sweeteners too. Actual aura migraine is harder to pinpoint my triggers (I know tinned fish is a trigger so I'm starting to think excluding histamine is a good idea).

I've been reading ingredient lists and my whitening toothpaste contains artificial sweeteners. *I might have to be like Julia Roberts and just brush with baking soda*. Like most of us with migraine I get desperate and will try anything.

Thanks to others for sharing what works for them.

I'm in my fifties and never before has a government forced councils to amalgamate.

Our central government is using ultimatums and short time frames to force this change on rural towns. Huge swaths of people will be unemployed and our towns' identities and services will be compromised.

Are you concerned? I'm baffled by how easily we are making this for them.

Are we cooy-catting USA now? At least DOGE was obvious.

Edited to add: the consensus seems to be that I've had my head in the sand. certainly, in the nineties, when I was a young adult, yes, I wasn't following local government changes with interest.

Some interesting food for thought about costs in high versus low density areas. I still have more questions than answers. My local council debt per household is 8k versus 22k in the city, 28k for Auckland. Otago's debt is very low. My local council has been performing well. The lowest population areas attract high tourist volume so nationally, it makes sense for local governance to serve those areas (MacKenzie, Westland, Queenstown etc).

My name is [when I erased my personality to fit doctrine] and I am a [I forfeited adult decision making, and stopped living life].

You go:

Just for context, both my parents were clueless in some ways and had allowed inappropriate men in their social circle. My parents were consistently ignorant about what this was like for me and my siblings. Fast forward and I'm eighteen and semi independent. I had my own car and dog and lived away from home but I visited often.

I had this big black and brown dog, not for protection, just because I loved animals. She went everywhere with me and was my buddy. She was goofy and loyal but had a big bark and was part German shepherd so could look scary but she was a sweet natured dog. We were like peas and carrots, always together.

My nana was living with my parents at that time. Not the cuddly type of nana, the mean kind who legend has it is why my dad was a bit clueless and messed up.

Dad had a friend visiting. A creep in one of those orange toweling sunhats that just gave off a vibe that a teenage girl wouldn't be into. He looked like Benny Hill and not in a good way.

So the second my dad is out of the room this creep starts commenting on my body and boobs. "You're a big girl, blah, blah, blah'." Before I could think of a reply dad came back and the guy switched to talking with my dad. I was upset and humiliated.

When he'd gone nana and mum were talking about him. What a nice guy he is. "He's alright/ he's harmless" is what my mum said when I told her what he'd said. I was still fairly young and quite upset by this, probably because I'd just begun to find my voice and I knew she was wrong on many counts (particularly mothering).

A few days after, mum said this man is on his way to visit. I was incandescent with rage but didn't say anything to mum. I pulled up a chair outside and sat thinking about all the things I would say to him (basically, eff off, and don't ever come back and various colourful versions of this). My loyal dog sat beside me quietly, calmly. I sat thinking. My dog quietly sniffed the air.

A car pulls up and Orange Sunhat walks up the driveway. My dog sprints towards him in full attack mode, like a guard dog in a movie. She's barking, growling, lunging at him. He runs off, drops his flagon of beer, legs it back to his car and drives off and NEVER COMES BACK.

I never spoke; didn't call the dog back, just waited for her, and went back in the house like nothing had happened. My dog never did this again.

I've had LS about five years around clit and, lately, vulva. TBH after reading about other cases I'm fortunate and I've never stopped using the steroid ointment. I need to be more consistent as I don't want severe outcomes such as skin fusing.

I gather the steroid reduces the thick skin which produces a lot of symptoms?

I'm also using hrt and estrogen cream and antifungal plus taking vitamin d.

Reading back through posts, one jumped out about laundry detergent. I've never tried changing laundry detergent. Any experience of this helping LS?

Also does excluding sugar really help autoimmune conditions like this? I can't afford to suppress my thyroid with fasting and extreme exclusion diets so I'm pensive but curious about food triggers for LS. Thoughts?

This is the line that removes all scrutiny regarding AA.

You question the doctrine? Your resentment. You had a bad experience with a group or meeting? Your resentment.

You're sober outside AA and happy now? Pink cloud. Boy whistling in the dark.

Feeling grumpy and sometimes angry is a base human emotion so you'll always qualify for another AA meeting *years* after you detox and withdraw fully from alcohol. The irony is even Bill got sick of meetings and stopped going. Smoking didn't kill him resentment did 🙄.

I was diagnosed about five years ago and recently the LS has gotten worse. I'm a cyclist and injured the LS, I think. Just switched to cycling seats with larger cut outs. I hope there will be zero pressure as I can't tolerate any. Cycling is essential for my mental health.

I've used the steroid twice daily a month and no change (worse). Could the steroid have expired?

The gp doubled my estrogen patches and I have topical estrogen. I just started vitamin d and I apply some topically too.

I'm ready to consult a gynaecologist as it's beyond my GP, I think.

Every Sunday morning I call room service and order French toast with scrambled eggs and a side of bacon and mushrooms with French press coffee.

I complain that the service in this hotel is absolutely terrible and my husband replies that this isn't a hotel and we have no bacon or mushrooms and he doesn't feel like cooking.

*I do actually say this every weekend. The service is shocking.*