u/Silverspiritfox

To those of us who have successfully made it out, what are some things that I might forget to pack besides the obvious birth certificate and IDs? I’m compiling a list of everything I should take or prepare before leaving my parents and cutting them off. For example, I thought it was a really great suggestion to create a new bank account. One that isn’t joint and my parents won’t know about. I’ve also seen people talk about collecting pictures and videos from their childhood.

On another note, I’m also worried about how deeply they’ve got their claws dug into my life. I can’t just walk away because it’s incredibly complex. I just discovered the other day that there are numerous audio recordings of me on their computer, paperwork and records I didn’t even know they had access to, and tons of blackmail material that I don’t even want to touch with a ten-foot pole. And that’s just on their computer. My parents are extremely paranoid, control freaks and absolutely would do something nuts like post my SSN publicly to try to get me to come back. It’s terrifying. What can I do to try and organize things and prepare for the worst? 😰

Let me just stick this here.

A couple summers ago, I went to a residential treatment facility for young adult girls in Virginia - partly to help my mental health, but mostly to get away from my abusive family. It appeared to be holistic and I was going in with pre-existing PTSD.

Absolutely nothing that had been advertised for the place was available, and there was absolutely nothing that I was prepared to handle while being there.

The other girls and I were psychologically abused around the clock, sleep deprived, deliberately triggered, etc. The staff would stomp around us making loud noises and it would cause nearly all of the residents to have panic attacks. It was like we were animals in a zoo. Was a fucking nightmare. We weren’t allowed to talk to each other so we had to warn each other in code and by passing notes when the staff weren’t watching us - which was never. I was physically assaulted by multiple staff members, denied a shower, a bed, and my nightly medications on more than one occasion, basic amenities like toilet paper and towels were kept under lock and key… It just went on and on. It reminds me of those movies where the parents send their kid away to some reformative camp or school to fix their behavior and it turns out to be a totally evil set up that they have to escape with their bare hands because nobody else believes them when they explain what’s really going on behind the walls. I was denied discharge even though I had voluntarily admitted myself, so I had to pack up my shit and make a run for it.

I must have run about a half a mile to get to the main road and then nearly got myself killed while trying to flag a car down. I was terrified. Staff were in hot pursuit and even showed up with a van, yelling at me to get in. I got a driver to call 911 and well, from there, it actually got worse.

The police officers that arrived cornered me and did nothing but mock and taunt and humiliate me while I tried to explain what was happening. An ambulance showed up and I told them I did not need one, that I needed help getting away from the facility and how I was worried about the other girls. They could not have cared less and waited a good 10 minutes until I fell on my ass from exhaustion before stuffing me in the vehicle. I was stripped naked in the middle of the ER and changed into a gown when they unloaded me. Then I was essentially held hostage for the next 14 hours while all the doctors and nurses in the building completely refused to communicate with me. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I called my parents, but they didn’t care, my extended family didn’t care, I didn’t know what else to do. That was the end of the line.

Police showed up at around 3am the next day. Yes, 3 fucking am. They handcuffed me and dropped me off at a psych ward. Didn’t even tell me where I was. I then was forced to rot away in there for a month while being denied my medications, and was further abused. Ironically, I was in much worse shape when they finally released me. Wish I’d never tried to get help.

I read the papers when I got out. The residential facility had petitioned for my lockup using made-up stories. The police did the same. The report said I was running around, being suicidal, and had laid down. In the middle of the road. Their justification for everything was that I was a danger to myself. My mental health has never been worse in my entire life.

So what was the real danger? Me? Or them?

I think it’s time for me to join in on the conversation here. A couple summers ago, I went to a residential treatment facility for young adult girls in Virginia - partly to help my mental health, but mostly to get away from my abusive family. It appeared to be holistic and I was going in with pre-existing PTSD.

Absolutely nothing that had been advertised for the place was available, and there was absolutely nothing that I was prepared to handle while being there.

The other girls and I were psychologically abused around the clock, sleep deprived, deliberately triggered, etc. The staff would stomp around us making loud noises and it would cause nearly all of the residents to have panic attacks. It was like we were animals in a zoo. Was a fucking nightmare. We weren’t allowed to talk to each other so we had to warn each other in code and by passing notes when the staff weren’t watching us - which was never. I was physically assaulted by multiple staff members, denied a shower, a bed, and my nightly medications on more than one occasion, basic amenities like toilet paper and towels were kept under lock and key… It just went on and on. It reminds me of those movies where the parents send their kid away to some reformative camp or school to fix their behavior and it turns out to be a totally evil set up that they have to escape with their bare hands because nobody else believes them when they explain what’s really going on behind the walls. I was denied discharge even though I had voluntarily admitted myself, so I had to pack up my shit and make a run for it.

I must have run about a half a mile to get to the main road and then nearly got myself killed while trying to flag a car down. I was terrified. Staff were in hot pursuit and even showed up with a van, yelling at me to get in. I got a driver to call 911 and well, from there, it actually got worse.

The police officers that arrived cornered me and did nothing but mock and taunt and humiliate me while I tried to explain what was happening. An ambulance showed up and I told them I did not need one, that I needed help getting away from the facility and how I was worried about the other girls. They could not have cared less and waited a good 10 minutes until I fell on my ass from exhaustion before stuffing me in the vehicle. I was stripped naked in the middle of the ER and changed into a gown when they unloaded me. Then I was essentially held hostage for the next 14 hours while all the doctors and nurses in the building completely refused to communicate with me. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I called my parents, but they didn’t care, my extended family didn’t care, I didn’t know what else to do. That was the end of the line.

Police showed up at around 3am. Yes, 3 fucking am. They handcuffed me and dropped me off at a psych ward. Didn’t even tell me where I was. I then was forced to rot away in there for a month while being denied my medications, and was further abused. Ironically, I was in much worse shape when they finally released me. Wish I’d never tried to get help.

I read the papers when I got out. The residential facility had petitioned for my lockup using made-up stories. The police did the same. The report said I was running around, being suicidal, and had laid down. In the middle of the road. Their justification for everything was that I was a danger to myself. My mental health has never been worse in my entire life.

So what was the real danger? Me? Or them?

I live in New York and have been searching for a group of girls in their early twenties to share a house with. A little supportive family type of situation where our limitations are understood. I’ve been searching for the longest time. Is there anyone out there like me who is looking for a situation like this?

I live in New York and have been searching for a group of girls in their early twenties to share a house with. A little supportive family type of situation that offers everyone safety, companionship, and a shared cost of living. I’ve been searching for the longest time. Is there anyone out there like me who is looking for a situation like this?

I live in NY and have been searching for a group of girls in their early twenties to share a house with. A little supportive family type of situation. I’m not sure where to look at this point, I’ve tried everything and don’t seem to be hitting the right pools or type of people. My posts never get enough traction. Is there anyone I could pay to help me put this together? Maybe a social worker who has connections or someone who has better ideas than me? Dm me if you’d like to talk about this.

I’m a young adult who experienced what I think is sue-able behavior at a facility. I endured sleep deprivation, physical assault, severe psychological abuse, and illegal restraint, just to name a few things that went on. I’ve been trying to find law firms in the state who specialize in these types of abuse in residential settings, but it’s been very difficult to find any that are appropriate. Most only take nursing home abuse or personal injury cases. I’ve tried contacting several whom I think might be able to help, but 3 never got back to me and the other 4 all gave the same response. That they’re a small firm with limited resources and can’t help me. I’d keep trying, but I think I must be doing something wrong.

I need help getting out of an abusive house, but I don’t know who to ask or where to go. I’m disabled from the amount of stress I’m under and have already tried all of the standard routes like contacting social services, hotlines, residentials, and organizations in state and out of state, but with no luck. The system seems to be very lacking. Dozens or roommate matching apps and social media posts for people in similar situations have led me nowhere. Most people don’t respond. It’s not just needing a place to rent; I need help getting out and a support net of safe people. Where the heck do you find safe people?? I don’t have any friends or family and am completely isolated. I can’t jump on a place because I’m disabled and my PTSD is going to make me the equivalent of a holocaust survivor. I’ve been through hell. I’m going through hell.

If anyone has any ideas on where I can hire someone that can help me find a living situation that will work or connect me with the right people, please share. I’m literally willing to pay whatever at this point for some help.