u/SoftestBrown

Has anyone given it a go? Thoughts?

Where are black Brits dating?

Over the past few years I’ve (29F) actually lost friends, people who I thought I’d be friends for life with. I still have a handful of friends but I don’t get to see them that often so I definitely have capacity and the desire for new close friendships.

I travel solo sometimes, I go to events alone and have been doing so for the past two years but nothings really stuck.

I guess I’m just looking for some positive stories that can keep me feeling hopeful. I’d love to hear stories of how people have met new besties for life after the age of 30. How did you meet? How did you know you wanted to become friends? Any tips/advice on how to find “your people”?

To anyone who has been around Switzerland your thoughts are very welcome.

I’ve booked onto a group trip that goes into Laax, and will be a hiking/activity trip.

I’m think of extending by a couple days to explore a little bit more of Switzerland by myself since I’ve never been before.

I’m think maybe Zurich, or I’ve hear Lucerne is great, but I’m also open to suggestions. I’ll be flying in and out of Zurich so don’t want anything too far.

I’d also be keen to know how these places are suited to solo travellers

It could be anything — the weird, emotional, practical, existential, funny, or deeply human things nobody really prepares you for.

For me it’s chin hairs (!!) and realising how much fake it till you make it can actually work.

Would love both lighthearted and deep answers.

I (29F) always used to joke that I’d like to marry rich, and though it was always just a joke there was some appeal to the idea of a man sweeping in and taking away financial responsibility.

However since living alone, my view on what I want has changed a lot. Traditional gender roles really don’t appeal to me and I actually don’t think I’d like someone else having financial control. I really want genuine equal partnership both in terms of finances and domestic labour.

Now in an ideal world, I would want someone who has also lived alone for a while. I think it gives me reassurance that they understand the demands of managing a home, have initiative and therefore don’t need a women to project manage all the domestic and emotional labour. Similarly, I like having financial independence and control and therefore would want to contribute my equal share.

For context: I’ve never lived with a romantic partner but would like to start a family some day.

I (29F) always used to joke that I’d like to marry rich, and though it was always just a joke there was some appeal to the idea of a man sweeping in and taking away financial responsibility.

However since living alone, my view on what I want has changed a lot. Traditional gender roles really don’t appeal to me and I actually don’t think I’d like someone else having financial control. I really want genuine equal partnership both in terms of finances and domestic labour.

Now in an ideal world, I would want someone who has also lived alone for a while. I think it gives me reassurance that they understand the demands of managing a home, have initiative and therefore don’t need a women to project manage all the domestic and emotional labour. Similarly, I like having financial independence and control and therefore would want to contribute my equal share.

For context: I’ve never lived with a romantic partner but would like to start a family some day.

So far I’ve just done, tote bags, pouches and foldable baskets. I’m still not great my finishing is a bit janky, but I wanna get to the fun stuff… making clothes!

What’s a realistic first time pattern I could go for?

I sometimes feel like maybe some people just lack self-awareness when they’re giving very dry responses… or maybe I’m giving them too much grace lol.

But I’m always thinking there’s probs so many nice people who are just missing out bc they don’t realise they’re not coming across well.

In the early ‘just matched’ stage, do you have any lines or responses you use to try and inspire a bit more engagement?

I’ve recently been getting a strong and bad gut feeling about my place of work. I’ve been picking up on weird vibes of I’ve felt like management are going around me in a strange way. But when I ask questions it feels like their answers and actions/energy don’t quite match up.

Because there’s nothing super tangible to point to I’m unsure how to move forward.

This lead me to a wider question of how/when should you trust a gut feeling, or can it sometimes just be self-sabotage?