I want to go sober
I’m 28M. I’m at a point in my life where all the substances have become a thing of the past. Backstory: I smoked cannabis throughout my twenties and I’m now 86 days clean.
Since stopping, I’ve been drinking occasionally, a bit more than I would have when I was smoking, but not to the level I was at with cannabis. I wouldn’t call myself addicted to alcohol.
Yesterday I went out and had a few drinks. I got quite drunk and it reminded me of my teenage years, when I’d drink and do stupid things. I felt like I ruined the night because one of the bartenders had been giving me attitude all evening, so before I left I pulled them aside to ask if there was an issue, and ended up being followed out by the manager. I wouldn’t have done that sober; I’d probably have just ignored it. It reminded me of my younger self.
With 86 days cannabis-free behind me, I think I’m ready to knock everything on the head. I don’t do anything else besides drink occasionally. I’ve got one more birthday celebration coming up where I’ve already agreed to drink, and a trip to Ireland in November to see friends where I’ll also have a drink, as both of these were pre-planned before I made this decision. Beyond that, I want to go fully sober, including on special occasions going forward.
My issue is with dating. I’m still single, and every date seems to involve “drinks?” I also have friends, including the ones I’m going to Ireland with, who love a drink, and I feel like London work culture revolves around drinking too. When I was smoking heavily, drinking never crossed my mind. Now it’s become my one guilty pleasure, every once in a while.
I go to the gym and have access to a spa and pool, but nothing quite hits the same as what a joint or a drink used to give me. By “hit” I mean that sense of “ah” that people chase in life, whatever gives them that lift.
How did people here manage to put their foot down and commit to going sober? And what gave you that same hit elsewhere in life?
Also, how did friendships / relationships with people change? How’s life been since? What have been some of the biggest benefits? Thanks in advanced.