u/StarShapedShroomz

Hey! Looking for anyone who’s got moreso a temporary setup in a Honda CRV.

I was homeless for about a year and lived in my 2002 Ford explorer. I’ve been living comfortably in a house for about 8/9 months but I think it’s time for me to get back in the car. I no longer have my ford but I do have a nice 2009 Honda crv. I’m not looking to built it out completely because ideally this will be a setup I’ll have for 3-4 months max.

So, if anyone has any temporary setups in Honda CRVs or other small SUVs, drop them below! Send DMs or just give general advice. I don’t really want to remove my seats, I’ll fold them down. I just want some reference photos or like I said, advice for temporary living. I was full time for a year in a much larger SUV so it’s different.

Hey I was recently hacked and had to get an entirely new discord (very annoying) but was wondering if anyone could send me the link to the darkie server. Thanks! Much appreciated, I was pretty active in it.

This requires a lot of content.

When I was about 11 or 12 years old, I slowly started to lose some color vision, specifically blue and purple. It gradually faded out until I was completely blue/purple colorblind. I went to countless eye doctors over the span of a few years. The answer I consistently got was “we’re going to check you for diabetes” but I don’t have diabetes. The doctors all say they can’t pinpoint what exactly caused the color loss but that it was more than likely to be irreversible and most likely caused by certain deficits. I was told I needed more vitamin D and to eat more regularly/ healthier.

Well I just had to accept that I was colorblind. It was very hard. It felt like my whole world was crushed and dull. I wasn’t even able to remember the colors I had previously seen. I mourned the loss of my color vision. It was heartbreaking.

I began to adjust and adapt. I learned how to identify purple and blue from other colors, though it was difficult. I studied the hell out of color theory and the color wheel because I am an artist.

Being colorblind became a huge part of who I was. It was relevant. I couldn’t see the world the same as others. I didn’t rub it in people’s faces but whenever someone said “yea my favorite color is blue” I would respond something like “I hear blue being a common favorite color, I wish I could see it but I’m colorblind, my favorite color is red”.

Durning my teenage/highschool years I was very problematic. I was addicted to drugs and extremely unhealthy. I had countless mental health issues that went unaddressed. One day when I was 17, I attempted suicide. I was unfortunately very close to success. I had overdosed on MANY pills and attempted to hang myself. I hadn’t gone to school that day and wasn’t answering my phone so a close friend of mine came over to check on me, I’m very lucky she found me. She found me hanging from my bathroom doorframe, a complete mess of vomit and piss, only barely alive because my big toe was touching the floor, but I was stuck.

She got me down and once I finally came to, I saw every color imaginable. I was beautiful deep blues and floral purples, the world was so vibrant. I had believed I was dead and death was beautiful, but I was very alive. She had used narcan on me and was obviously worried sick but we argued not to get me to a hospital out of fear of what my parents would think. (Of course, terrible decision, again I was addicted to drugs and 17, I didn’t want my parents to know any of this had happened. I also had a very troubled home life.)

Well I spent the rest of that day recovering. Drinking lots of water, probably smoking weed, I know I ate and I just rested. I was amazed by the color I saw but I told no one.

I continued to tell no one that I was seeing color. I was scared. I was afraid that my color vision was going to go away again anytime soon, so why celebrate if it’s going to be taken again? I just brushed it under the rug. I began telling myself it was temporary and believing it.

Well, one day turned into two, turned into a week, into a month, into 3 years, into where I am today.

It’s now about 3 or 4ish years later. I can still see the full range of colors and everyone in my life believes that I’m colorblind, except for my fiance who found out a few days ago.

I had made a comment on an alt Reddit account about “your biggest secret” and I mentioned my colorblind situation. Somehow he had found it and asked me about it. We had a long (very tearful) conversation about it. He was upset that I had lied to him about being colorblind, but I explained to him that I lied out of fear that I would lose it again, up until the point that I was years into this “lie” that it was so so so hard to just come clean about it.

So Reddit, am I the asshole?

The reason I kept up the idea that I was colorblind is in a way to protect myself and my emotions. I was so scared that my color vision was going to disappear and I still am scared. I just don’t want to face losing so much color from my life that I feel like if I convince myself it’s still gone, if it goes again it won’t hurt as bad.

My fiance says Reddit will tell me I’m not the asshole, but I don’t know. I feel awful, I feel like the worst person ever for lying about this. I want your opinions.

EDIT: I should also mention: I’m a lot better now, no longer addicted to drugs and doing very well for myself. Almost a year sober from weed and haven’t touched pills since my OD. Been in therapy for years, got a new car, about to move into my first apartment, have a stable job I’ve had for 2 years, I’m going much better all around. This is my “big secret” and that’s really it.

This is just a rant. I’ve been in very few serious relationships, but I’ve been though countless heartbreaks.

My first real relationship lasted 4 years. I thought it was so strong and so healthy. We loved each other. When he broke up with me, I asked if he had found someone else, because the break up was completely out of the blue. He said no and we never spoke since. Years later, I decided to poke around and see how he was doing, and the timeline says he was dating someone else 2 years into our 4 year relationship. 2 whole years I didn’t know. Years after it ended I didn’t know. Delayed heartbreak.

My next relationship was also very serious. We dated for almost 2 years. Only 8 month into the relationship I found strange messages on his phone to girls. I told him to stop. Months later I found dating apps. Some more time passes and he actually starts hooking up with people. That relationship was never healthy though.

Now I’m dating the love of my life. A man who treats me right. He takes care of me, takes me out, asks me questions. He’s so genuine and gentle with me…. Oooor so I thought. Last night I got a weird feeling so I went thru his phone to find messages and plans to meet up with someone. I found hookup app sign up codes in his emails.

Why? I’ve never cheated. I don’t lie. I don’t watch porn. I am loyal and I provide. I cook, I clean, I’m kind and I love with all my heart. Why? Why do people cheat?

I found out I was colorblind when I was like 13 or 14. Someone pointed out to me that I kept interchanging purple and blue and I explained that I just figured they were so similar, it’s hard to tell a difference.

My friends ran some “tests” on me and determined I was colorblind. I talked to my parents about it, they also agreed that it was strange, took me to a doctor and ran some tests, found out I was in fact colorblind to purples/blues.

Right now I’m fresh out of some kind of panic attack. I was plugging in my laptop (it zaps every time I plug it in, covered in electrical tape… an accident was bound to happen) and I blacked out. I woke up maybe an hour and a half later. I feel fine, my heart rate is fine, I’m just a little confused. I look around my room and I’m bawling my eyes out because I don’t understand what I’m seeing.

I see the colors I’m missing. Either that or I’m seeing new colors that no one else sees but I doubt that. I’m so confused. I thought colorblindness meant I was missing an entire cone in my eyes?? That can’t just be “restored” right? There’s no way this is fucking possible right now.

There’s this little box in my room. I couldn’t tell you what color it is. I thought it was orange but it’s this vibrant deep green, I think blue? It has be in tears. It’s so beautiful and so scary.

I can’t process this properly. It’s almost 12:30 in the morning. My brain doesn’t feel like it’s working. Again, I feel fine from my weird little electric black out situation… but the colors I’m seeing are incomprehensible. When I opened my phone I was struck by another wave of emotion. All these buttons I thought were yellow and orange or assumed were “blue” and “purple” according to my previous definition of those colors…. It’s so beautiful. So bright and vibrant. I’m googling if this is possible and I’m getting dumb AI responses telling me it’s not possible and that I can only LOSE color vision by an accident like this. I thought my eyes were just broken since birth but whatever I’m seeing isn’t what the world was before.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Is it going to go away? I want to see the world like this forever but I’m so overwhelmed with emotion and new stimulation I can’t even think straight. I don’t understand how this could happen. I’m already looking into booking an eye doctor appointment or something. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I think I might be pregnant.

First of all, I’m on Nexpanon and have been for about a year or so. So it’s hard to imagine that I’d be pregnant but things can happen.

Either I’m pregnant or something is wrong with me.

Last month, I had two menstrual cycles within the month. I was bleeding almost the entire month. The month prior, I didn’t bleed at all.

I used to have very irregular cycles like that before the Nexpanon but after I got that implanted, I’ve had a very consistent and trackable cycle.

This month, a few days ago, while having sex with my partner, I started bleeding. We immediately stopped because it looked like I had been injured. The blood was thin, bright red, looked nothing like menstrual blood.

A day later, I had a dizzy spell in the shower. I felt very lightheaded, thought I was about to pass out. Felt very sick, felt like I was about to vomit. Plus the bleeding had increased.

I was worried, it was Sunday so OBGYNs were closed, I went to urgent care. At this point I thought I had a serious injury in my vaginal canal.

The urgent care doctor checked me out and determined the bleeding was coming from my cervix, he told me that it was just an early period.

It still felt wrong to me. The blood is nothing like my period. I ALWAYS get side effects to my period, like sensitive breasts. I don’t have sensitivity in my breasts right now. I’m not cramping like I usually do. The bleeding is VERY light. I’m not soaking through pads. I usually have to wear women’s period underwear because of how heavy my flow is.

They ran a pregnancy test at Urgent care and told me it came back negative. This looks like implantation bleeding to me. However I had two cycles worth of a period between the last time I had sex and the most recent time.

I know the best time to take a pregnancy test is 5-7 days after implantation bleeding. So I will be doing so once I stop bleeding.

Another thing… I’ve been very sensitive to my partner burping lol. The other day I snapped at him for burping and not excusing himself. I’ve always been sensitive to mouth noises/ chewing/ burping but I’ve been very good lately with ignoring it and not letting it get to me.

I’ve also been hungrier than usual and have been sleeping very irregular. It all sounds like pregnancy to me.

I’ll update this when I take a test in a few days.

I’ve had an abortion once before as a teenager. I’m worried because if I’m pregnant now, I really don’t want to abort. I would ideally like to keep it, however I’m also in no position to have a child. Yes I COULD and I’d support it very well… I’m just unsure if it all.

I’m 800+ days sober from watching porn but I recently decided I was going to try to watch it to see why my partner watches it. Part of me wanted to end my sobriety out of jealousy? I made another post talking more about it but I wanted to mention this:

That one night I decided to visit a few different sites. I lost all urge to masturbate the moment I saw the homepage. I felt disgusted, but I still clicked on a few videos to see if my feelings would change.

I felt like 80% of what I saw was underage girls, and if they weren’t underage it was “barely legal” or something like that.

It made me want to throw up. The sexualization of 18 year old girls. The acting “innocent”. The tags with “petite” and shit like that. It’s gross! It’s terrifying. It only makes porn viewers want to view younger people. Porn as a whole is a gateway into CSAM. It looks like it’s so easy to go from big main porn cites to illegal material.

This is a huge reason why I absolutely hate porn. It’s harmful in every way imaginable, especially since so much of it advises that the people in the videos are younger. It’s disgusting and honestly like I said, terrifying.

I used to be heavily addicted to porn. I watched it every night, multiple times on many occasions, I used to make porn of myself (all happened while underage too.)

Back in March of 2024, I met my ex and he lied to me and told me he was pornfree. That inspired me to quit my addiction right then and there. I wanted to better myself for the relationship and I felt very inspired to have met a man that had that kind of self control.

Of course I found out a few weeks later that he was lying to me and was actually severely addicted to porn. From then on porn was an ongoing battle in our nearly 2 year long relationship.

I asked that he made an attempt to quit his porn addiction purely because his lie he told when we first met was enough to inspire me to quit. He had created an expectation and was unable to follow through. He promised to quit but never made an attempt. He had even developed some kind of ED from watching porn and it was effecting his sexual performance a ton.

I decided to stay strong and continue with my sobriety from porn, kind of to set an example for him. I saw how much it was effecting him so I tried my hardest to support him. He told me constantly that he was quitting porn and never wanted to watch it again, but I never saw any improvement.

Well that relationship ended, thankfully. And not just because of the porn addiction and lying about it but because of many other lies that were revealed as well as just poor behavior all around.

After the relationship ended I continued my sobriety.

Now I’m in a new relationship, the best relationship I’ve ever been in. My partner is everything I could ever want, and he watches porn.

At first that didn’t bother me at all. Everyone is different and people are allowed to do whatever they want.

Although throughout my time of being porn free, I’ve developed a lot of strong opinions towards porn. I believe it to be very unhealthy. Peak brainrot even. I feel as though the most damaging form of media someone could possibly consume is porn. It damages self image, sexual expectations, sex drive, mental health, the whole nine yards.

I hate to admit it but I’m bothered that my partner watches porn. I don’t want to be controlling in any sense. I don’t want to take away personal liberties, but how do I cope with that?

It doesn’t bother me enough to break up with him over it. It doesn’t even bother me enough to say much about it. I think I’ve mentioned it once or twice during our relationship and I know I talk about my own porn sobriety a fair amount because I’m proud of myself.

The reason why I’m bothered by his porn intake is because it makes me feel insecure. I feel unattractive or not good enough. I’m afraid it’ll affect his sex drive or he’ll develop a sort of ED. I’m afraid that he will find insecurities within porn, and on top of all of this I’m afraid to bring it up at all because sex is somewhat of a sensitive topic to us right now.

Last month I sorta? Broke my sobriety streak. I searched up some porn online one night while I was horny and thought I’d try it out, but as soon as I saw the homepage I lost all desire to masturbate. I felt disgusted. I felt gross and perverted. I clicked on a few different videos and honestly felt like vomiting. Nothing about any kind of pornography makes me feel good or could possible get me off at this point in my life.

I guess I’m just coming here to ask how should I cope with this feeling? I strongly believe I will never consume porn again. I’d definitely be willing to make it for some extra cash lol but I cannot get myself to masturbate to it, let alone watch it at all. (Unless it’s my own tapes with my own partner). How do I come to terms with my own strong opinions against porn while having a partner that watches it? How do I make sure I don’t make him feel bad for his choice to watch it but possible also express my feelings on the subject? I don’t want to put a target on him or make him feel bad in any way, I do that enough accidentally as is, but I have strong feelings and I’d like to talk about them. Am I totally crazy for hating porn? Am I crazy for disliking that my partner watches it?

I tried to make this post like 4 times but I just don’t know where to begin.

I’m 2 or maybe 3 years sober from porn now. One day I randomly decided it wasn’t good for me and I just stopped. I actually tried to watch porn recently, like a few weeks ago, and it disgusted me. Whereas I used to be addicted, now I’m appalled and honestly very proud that I’m at that point.

Well I’m in a very committed relationship now with a man I want to marry. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. He’s smart, laid back, handsome as hell, emotionally intelligent, hardworking, a little nerdy, literally everything I’ve been dreaming of for years.

Where my issue is at is that I find myself, daily, craving sex with him. We’ll just be sitting in the same room doing our own things, him on his computer and me on my phone, and I’ll get very horny to the point that I get sweaty and jittery.

All of my past relationships, I dreaded sex. I hated it. I always felt pressured into sex or I felt like I was only having sex just to please my partner. I often felt like I was being taken advantage of and just “used”.

But not anymore. This is the first relationship I’ve ever been in that I crave sex. I crave the physical intimacy, the skin to skin, the closeness and vulnerability. The pleasure is just icing on the cake.

I’ve never found myself in such a physical horny mess over a man, and it’s day after day.

He is not nearly as sexual as I am, and for extremely valid reasons. He’s very hardworking, often exhausted. Works with computers all day so regularly has headaches. When he gets home from work he just wants to lay down and relax. 100% valid. I understand him and if I were in his shoes I’d want the same.

Him and I have talked about this a few times. He’s told me he doesn’t love me any less just because he’s not all over me. He explains that he’s just tired and isn’t horny.

I just don’t know how to solve this. Masturbating doesn’t fulfill what I’m needing/wanting. Masturbating will give me an orgasm but not the level of emotional and physical intimacy that sex does. Again, I don’t watch porn so I can’t get any “fulfillment” out of that and porn isn’t causing my hypersexuality. We’ve had conversations about our sexuality differences and we both understand that there’s a big difference between us. I just don’t know what the solution is?

The reason why it is a “problem” is on my end. I’ll be sitting next to him turning into a sweaty horny mess of a person and I’m get frustrated with myself for being that way and wanting something he isn’t up for in that exact moment. I start to become passive aggressive when I’m like that and I don’t want to do that.

Im scared my hypersexuality is going to tear us apart, that’s my worst fear right now.

When you guys are making your animations, do you start out with just a stick figure or shape and get down all the movement and then go back and refine page by page? Or do you start with full detail and go from there?

As long as I’ve been alive (I’m 20) I’ve barely pooped.

I am being dramatic but it’s genuinely a big problem.

I poop once a week if I’m lucky, I’d say usually 2-3 times a month, on a good month 4-5 times.

Crazy thing about it is that I’m very thin, underweight. I’m 5’8 and weigh about 115-120 pounds and I eat a lot. When I was 15-17 I dealt with a bit of an eating disorder and weighed like 90-100 pounds but I got a lot better.

Now I eat a lot and it’s fairly well balanced. I work at a Panda Express to basically every day I have some of that but it’s definitely not the most unhealthy fast food. I’m getting a lot of protein and fiber. I usually have 2ish meals a day with a snack somewhere.

I drink a good amount of water, I definitely could be drinking more but I’m not dehydrated.

I just feel like I consume so much food, I don’t gain weight, and I don’t poop! So where does the food go??

Yes, I should definitely see a doctor. I don’t have health insurance right now so that’s kind of out of the picture because I’m not trying to spend my life savings on a simple doctors visit, thanks American healthcare system.

Just wondering if anyone else has this specific problem and if there’s any good solutions? I’ve tried laxatives but they don’t usually work on me.

This month I was almost a month late for my period. Ever since I got the Nexplanon implant my periods have been very regular. I usually have a heavy flow for a few days but nothing like what I’m experiencing now.

Because I was late, I took a few pregnancy tests, all were negative so it’s nothing pregnancy related.

I’ve been bleeding for 3 days this cycle and haven’t seen any normal blood. I’m only passing clots. And some are huge! I had a golf ball sized clot earlier today.

I wear period underwear (the disposable kind, they kinda seem like diapers) and like I said, no “normal” blood. Only clots. Should I be worried?

I don’t have health insurance so seeking medical help is not really an option but have any of you experienced something like this before?

So mods, I get it if you take this down but honestly no one ever hears me out on this so please.

I’m heartbroken that my first ever concert was going to be the Sep. 5th 2025 Baltimore Maryland lil darkie concert.

I had heard he wasn’t planning on touring for a while (or ever) and I had never been to a concert so I bought 2 tickets, I booked a hotel, and bought 2 train tickets for my partner and I to go.

A few months later I got arrested because my ex ended up getting mad that I caught them cheating, ended up switching things on me and accusing me of threatening them.

-$1000, 20 days of my life, and the greatest show of all time.

I sat in jail from August 30th- September 19th and the entire time all I thought about was that concert I was supposed to go to.

Josh doesn’t know me and he never will, but he’s been my top Spotify since 2019. I’ve been a fan since before the millions of listeners, and I’ve adored watching him grow.

It was so meaningful to me to be able to see him in concert, especially because at the time of me booking the tickets and planning the trip, I was homeless and really thinking about giving up. He felt like the big reason why I was holding on… then something happened and the right for me to see him was taken away from me.

To know that he may never tour again tears me apart. I was SO close to seeing my favorite artist. I still find myself upset about it. Every time a new song releases I remember how I had to listen to blueberry pie over the jailphone and crying because I could’ve been there if I hadn’t found out about my ex cheating on me.

It’s crazy how one little thing can ruin your life, not to say that missing the darkie tour was ruining my life but ever since jail… I’ve been in darker places than ever.

Joshua, thank you. You’ve been the light guiding some of us. Music is powerful and seeing GROWTH in music changes people’s worlds. I adore your ability to not give a fuck. I admire the way you push forward and be yourself no matter what. I aspire to think more like you, be more free in this fucked up world. Thank you, for being there for me without even knowing I exist.

Thank you Josh, darkie, godhand, spidergang, brahman, and everyone you are and everyone you will be.

Continue to grow and become an amazing human being.

With care

Triton.