u/Strong-Resist6754

Despite being gnc I noticed that gender roles still play a part when it comes to me socializing in public. My personality is very much fem leaning, but I can tell people expect me to act more masculine because of the way I look. I act “normally” with my friends but it’s hard navigating in public when people think you’re (possibly) a boy. How do you act when you’re interacting with strangers? Any advice on how I could keep myself safe during these interactions? Thank you so much

Does anyone have advice for going outside after a traumatic event, or several? I’m having a hard time going outside to do anything, like running errands, meeting up with people or even going for a walk around my neighborhood… ive dealt with a lot of harassment. I understand it’s a heavy topic for the sub but it’s eroding my quality of life and I need all the help I can get. Thank you.

Does anyone have advice for going outside after a traumatic event, or several? I’m having a hard time going outside to do anything, like running errands, meeting up with people or even going for a walk around my neighborhood… ive dealt with a lot of harassment and abuse because of the way I look. Just straight up people talking about how ugly black people are when I’m around, making up rumors about me to endanger me, taking videos and pictures of me, stalking me , monitoring me/keeping an extra eye on me to make sure I’m not a threat when I’m just minding my business and or working, laughing and mocking me in public and work spaces. Putting me down constantly until they get to know me. I’ve been accused of horrific shit. I’ve even had people try to get me in trouble with the law when I didn’t do anything. I can’t even bring myself to apply for jobs so I could better my situation because I’m worried the same things will happen to me again. I know I need to stand up. I just need to know how. it’s eroding my quality of life and I need all the help I can get. Thank you.

Does anyone have advice for going outside after a traumatic event, or several? I’m having a hard time going outside to do anything, like running errands, meeting up with people or even going for a walk around my neighborhood… it’s been like this for a few years. ive dealt with a lot of harassment and abuse because of the way I look, even now. If I’m not covered up I’m constantly scared something violent will happen to me. it’s eroding my quality of life. I can’t get anything done, and unfortunately right now I’m not able to get therapy but I can’t live as a shut in forever. I need all the help I can get. Thank you.

This mentality has stopped me from doing anything new in my life, especially when it comes to expressing myself. I don’t feel enough so I wait until I’m perfect to try things. Like an art, or with jobs, or with relationships. If everything’s been done what’s the point of expressing myself? I’m just going to be seen as another copy. If there’s someone better than me in dating, what’s the point of trying? I’ll never be picked. I’d love any advice I could get. Ithis thinking has stunted me for years.

This mentality has stopped me from doing anything new in my life, especially when it comes to expressing myself. I don’t feel enough so I wait until I’m perfect to try things. Like an art, or with jobs, or with relationships. If everything’s been done what’s the point of expressing myself? I’m just going to be seen as another copy. If there’s someone better than me in dating, what’s the point of trying? I’ll never be picked. I’d love any advice I could get. Ithis thinking has stunted me for years.

Flirting with someone but ruined it by being shy about my race 🙃 letting people see me and experiencing me but not letting them get too close because I doubt they aren’t secretly prejudice and it’s messing with my head. How am I supposed to know they actually like me/want me and I’m not an experiment to them?

I feel a bit jealous of the other black girls that have fully embraced themselves and their bodies when they’re out in public. Being able to wear whatever you’d like without worrying about how others see you. I have a crippling fear of men looking at and sexualizing my body without my consent. It makes me hide entirely. I’ve additionally had plenty of bad experiences when it came to sexual harassment and bullying from men. It’s just too scary for me and my brain can’t seem to “get used to” it. I don’t think I care for male validation. How do you get to that point where you feel safe to show your body?

I’m black and unfortunately (for me) non conforming. This is the third job someone has tried to push me out of by lying about me. What jobs/careers you guys have? I’m at a loss.

(Sorry I said anymore when I meant in general.) I hide my face in public so I’m protected from literal harassment and get judged for that too. I’m fine with being ugly but it feels like if i am I lose opportunities, connections and more in life. How the hell is that even fair and where can I just exist without being made to feel awful about myself? I don’t want to exist to appease men, I just want to exist as myself.

I’ve been through some stuff and I’ve become the avoidant friend. With a touch of autism. I don’t want my friends to take it personally though cause it’s not their fault. how do I communicate this to them? Thank you

I don’t know.
The advice to just be confident and just love yourself hasn’t gotten me very far in a world that seems to hate me.
It’s not even in my head. Which is the worst part.
My biggest sin is not fitting the beauty standard. I can’t use that to get ahead without people punching down on me. I get ignored, overlooked. Mocked, smeared. Lied about. My intelligence is automatically downplayed because I’m a woman. I’m not allowed to be talented , or have fun. I’m not allowed to be sad because I’m supposed to be the strong one. Everytime I’ve had a dream of my own someone swoops in and tries to take it for themselves or tries to stop me. You can put in all the time and effort you want but if you don’t have people to push you forward and help you elevate the chances of it happening are slim to none. And I don’t get why god, if there is one- would want me to live a life so stagnant and painful. I would’ve ended up a decent person without all of the “lessons” and “hardship”. And I don’t want to be a gift of wisdom to somebody else. I just wanted to live normally. I just wanted to be a normal girl.
I never wanted to be a fighter.
It’s crazy the difference skin color could make in someone’s life. Now I’m sitting here, with my birthday being in a few weeks wondering what I’m supposed to do with all of the work I did on myself. All of the bullshit I was put through, put myself through. Why *shouldnt* I just end it at this point?

Advice is welcome. I don’t want to feel this way forever. I’m just tired of doing all of the thinking on my own and trying to rationalize my feelings and the things I’ve been through to get by. I’m over it.