u/Stunning-Example208

I'm curious what rules and boundaries you have with your kids to help your relationship with them. My daughter is 10 and I know she thinks I think she's annoying sometimes. She will leave things all over the house, talk to me from other rooms and expect an immediate response even though I can barely hear her, leave the TV on, can't remember to throw her trash away, etc. I end up feeling kind of resentful and I sigh a lot and get grumpy. I have given her expectations and explained things to her and she simply can't remember to do the things I ask. She does have ADHD, it makes it feel like I have to do all the executive functioning for her. Any advice?

We're from Atlanta and want to go somewhere within a few hours and see fireworks from our hotel. Will I be able to see them if I request a room overlooking the field?

We want to take a last minute trip up from Atlanta to see fire works for the 4th. Ideas on hotels where we could see them from our room or a roof top hotel?

I know it's last minute but I kinda want to get away for a couple nights for the 4th. I would love somewhere within a few hours of Roswell, a hotel where I could see fireworks from the room would be amazing! Any ideas?

Does anyone else just get completely burned out from their ADHD child (10f)? My daughter is always wanting to do her hobbies that make messes and require help from me. Seems to never remember anything I tell her. Struggles to clean up after herself. Ill ask her to do something every single day and she can't remember. Ill ask her to do something 4 times and she can't remember. Any kind of guidance from me is received as extreme criticism and she ends up crying. She's been talking about the same hyper focus for the last 2 weeks and I'm over talking about it. I bought the same exact brand of sausages from a different store and I guess they are made ever so slightly differently and she noticed and refuses to eat them. I love her and she's an amazing person with an amazing heart. I'm just exhausted.

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My daughter is 10. Lately all she seems to do is ask for more more more. A few days ago I picked her up from school and she was sitting on the ground with her friends apparently talking shit about me and how I dont buy her enough things. I have bought her quite a few things for her hobbies, clothes, and I think a toy in the last month.

She tells me she wishes I liked to help her with her hobbies more, I help her with her hobbies but don't always have the enthusiasm she wants. What can I say, I'm tired at the end of the day.

She's been hyper focused on how her room isn't big enough and other people's rooms are bigger. Last night she wanted to sleep with me because she convinced herself she was claustrophobic in her room 🤦🏼‍♀️ her room is not small, but she has a lot of furniture that she wanted in there. I have redesigned her room 3 times in 4 years based on what she's told me she wants and it's not enough.

The thing is if I try to tell her she's being absurd she will get sad and cry. She's so sensitive about everything. What's an appropriate way to tell her to get over and stop asking me for so much?

No one talks about how defeating it is to be the wife that wants more sex. I have brought it up so many times in our relationship, but it always just happens once a week or less. Every now and then 2x a week. I would say 3x a month on average. I have talked to him about it and usually it's because he's stressed or doesn't have time. He is working long hours right now. He said the stress is affecting his sex drive. I don't think there has ever been a time where I didn't want more sex. Even when our daughter was just born 10 years ago. Sometimes I want him so bad it hurts. I guess I'm not looking for answers just solidarity. I see so many reels online of women talking about how their husbands want them all the time and it's annoying. I wish.

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I have gone on a deep dive on attachment theory. I have come to the realization that I have an anxious attachment style. I fit the description to a tee. I seem to go through this cycle of neediness with my husband. When he works long hours I feel neglected and I suppose almost abandoned and unloved. He is already stressed from working a lot. I end up almost picking fights in order to get attention and feel loved and chosen. I push him away with my emotional freakouts. It's obviously exhausting. Right now in a logical state of mind I realize how ridiculous it is but I just have these complete spirals.

For example on Tuesday he left the house before I woke up. For some reason I decided to see how long it would take for him to call or text me. It wasn't until 1 pm when he called to say he was coming home. I had worked myself up into a state of mind that he doesn't love me, he didn't even think about me once all morning, etc. He comes home and is just frustrated that I'm not appreciative he came home to spend time with me and I don't see him making an effort. I'm ruining my relationship with this toxic mindset. He is a good husband and partner that most people would be happy with. He works hard to provide for our family and makes an effort to spend time with us. I just constantly crave connection.

Now I'm thinking about all the other times I have done things that stem from having an anxious attachment. I used to be anxiously attached to my best friend and roommate and hated when she spent time with other people and felt like I wasn't enough for her. In childhood I was left by my mother to live with my grandparents and my father didn't make an effort to have a relationship with me. He actually tried to reconnect after I had my daughter, hung out with me a couple times, then moved to a different state 14 hours away without even telling me 🙃 I used to absolutely freak out when my highschool boyfriend was late to things because I convinced myself it meant he didn't care. He broke up with me as we were laying in bed cuddling and I asked if he wanted to be with me forever still and he just said no, and left. That f'd me real good.

How do I fix this anxious attachment and nervous system dysregulation?

I have gone on a deep dive on attachment theory. I have come to the realization that I have an anxious attachment style. I fit the description to a tee. I seem to go through this cycle of neediness with my husband. When he works long hours I feel neglected and I suppose almost abandoned and unloved. He is already stressed from working a lot. I end up almost picking fights in order to get attention and feel loved and chosen. I push him away with my emotional freakouts. It's obviously exhausting. Right now in a logical state of mind I realize how ridiculous it is but I just have these complete spirals.

For example on Tuesday he left the house before I woke up. For some reason I decided to see how long it would take for him to call or text me. It wasn't until 1 pm when he called to say he was coming home. I had worked myself up into a state of mind that he doesn't love me, he didn't even think about me once all morning, etc. He comes home and is just frustrated that I'm not appreciative he came home to spend time with me and I don't see him making an effort. I'm ruining my relationship with this toxic mindset. He is a good husband and partner that most people would be happy with. He works hard to provide for our family and makes an effort to spend time with us. I just constantly crave connection.

Now I'm thinking about all the other times I have done things that stem from having an anxious attachment. I used to be anxiously attached to my best friend and roommate and hated when she spent time with other people and felt like I wasn't enough for her. In childhood I was left by my mother to live with my grandparents and my father didn't make an effort to have a relationship with me. He actually tried to reconnect after I had my daughter, hung out with me a couple times, then moved to a different state 14 hours away without even telling me 🙃 I used to absolutely freak out when my highschool boyfriend was late to things because I convinced myself it meant he didn't care. He broke up with me as we were laying in bed cuddling and I asked if he wanted to be with me forever still and he just said no, and left. That f'd me real good.

How do I fix this anxious attachment and nervous system dysregulation?

I have really been struggling in my marriage and I went down a rabbit hole of attachment theories, trying to see if my husband is avoidant. I ended up thinking I am anxiously attached and causing problems. My husband recently started a business and the amount he has been working has left me depleted and wondering if he even loves me, even though he is working so hard to provide for our family. He doesn't understand why I can't be strong for this temporary season of life.

Things that make me think I'm anxiously attached:

I'm desperate for connection and reassurance. When I don't get this I end up ruminating about our relationship and wondering if he loves me and if I should look else where for love. I convince myself he probably just doesn't care about me at all.

I pick fights for attention. I think I poke him trying to get a reaction to prove he cares or loves me. He as asked me if I'm just testing him or something.

I people please in all of my friendships and relationships. I worry if I don't do everything for everyone I'm a bad person and they won't like me.

I was left as a child by my mother with my grandparents. My father never seemed to want a relationship either. My father actually tried to reconnect with me after I had my daughter, hung out with me a few times, then moved to a different state without even telling me 🙃

My first boyfriend broke up with me right after we made love when I asked him if he still wanted to be with me forever. That broke me. I still think it affects me today.

I have kept thinking in need to fix my husband but I'm starting to think I need to fix myself. Advice welcome.