Right decisions
You know, every guy has that one crucial moment when he has to rely on his cold, rational mind despite the danger of the situation. At that moment, you have to act confidently, wisely, and, most importantly, quickly, because there isn’t much time to make the right decision.
I’m talking, of course, about those two or three seconds before orgasm, when you’re holding your dick in one hand, your phone in the other, and there’s only a limited selection of objects nearby that aren’t necessarily suitable for the task at hand.
You have to gather all your strength without crushing your own equipment and make a decision quickly. Sometimes there’s a tissue, a piece of paper, a sock… But sometimes there’s absolutely nothing.
And yes, there I was, in exactly that situation.
I can already anticipate your questions. Why not just keep some tissues nearby?
Let me explain. Masturbation is a state of mind. It comes unexpectedly and often ends just as spontaneously. It’s all about improvisation.
Anyway, back to me lying in my bed. I put my phone down on the bed, screen facing up, obviously, so I could watch the porn in my peripheral vision, and started searching around with my horny little hand for anything I could finish into.
But there was a problem… There was nothing. And at this point we weren’t talking seconds anymore, but fractions of a second.
So, I came into my own palm.
Well, I had collected the semen, but now I had to figure out what to do with it. Walking all the way across the apartment to the bathroom while dripping semen in front of my parents wasn’t particularly appealing.
Sure, I could’ve just poured it out of my palm into the trash and wiped my hand on the blanket, a sock, or something.
But listen, put yourself in my shoes. You’re tired, lying on your nice soft bed, you’ve just come all over your hand, you feel good… Let’s be honest, you don’t really want to get up, do you?
Exactly.
So my youthful brain came up with a brilliant idea.
I simply wiped my hand on the wall.
There was a transparent, slippery streak left on the wall, about 80 centimeters long, kind of curved.
And then I went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and you could barely see anything. The color hadn’t changed, the wall had just become… how do I put it… glossier, almost as if it had been varnished.
And that’s when I realized I’d discovered an absolutely amazing life hack. I could masturbate, come into my hand, and simply smear it all over the wall right there.
The problem was that I kept doing this for an entire year.
Over that time, a fairly sizable grayish stain appeared on the wall.
I’m honestly surprised my parents never asked me about it… Although maybe they just didn’t want to embarrass me by bringing it up.
About a year later, my room was renovated. We repainted the walls, and I decided to stop smearing my semen on them.
However, I started sinning in other ways…
When nobody was home, I’d let myself masturbate during the day, sometimes at my computer, sometimes just standing in the middle of the room. And I didn’t always make it to the trash can in time, so I’d just come on the floor.
Then I started masturbating during the day even when relatives were home. I’d stand in the corner by the entrance to my room so that, if necessary, I could block the door with my body, and I’d masturbate there.
By that point, I wasn’t even embarrassed anymore. I’d just come on the floor and the wall in that corner.
As it turned out, semen doesn’t wash off laminate flooring particularly well, so I ended up with two large collections of little “droplets”: one in that corner by the door, and another near the trash can, which I didn’t always manage to reach in time.
Sometimes I was too lazy to put a new bag in the trash can, so I’d just come directly into the bin.
So that got covered in “droplets” too.
Basically, yeah, I’ve completely lost track of what I haven’t ejaculated on in my room.
I’ve come on myself, in my blanket, on socks, on the walls, on the floor, in the trash can, on the piano, accidentally hit my computer mouse once, and came on T-shirts all the time…
One thing I definitely **do not recommend** is coming in your underwear.
I’d come on my stomach and then wipe everything off with the same pair of underwear, which I’d subsequently sleep in. I don’t recommend it because the next morning they stick to the hair around your crotch, after a few days of frequent ejaculations they start to smell absolutely awful if you don’t change them, and then you have to hand-wash them in the sink.
I let myself get away with a lot, obviously, but handing my beloved mother a pair of absolutely cum-soaked underwear to wash was probably taking things a little too far.
When I hand over a duvet cover that’s been covered in semen from top to bottom and along every possible axis, I can at least hope that its size makes it somewhat inconspicuous. But huge, white, stinking stains on underwear? That’s where I draw the line.
So, guys, how do you deal with those crucial moments?