I think it's what i have right now and it's pretty painful. i'm not a runner, but I do quite a lot of walking and like to get my steps in. If you've ever dealt with it how did you treat it? what helps?
i have such bad fomo because im spending the 4th alone again. but at the same time, i get so anxious and irritable when im with other people/my family. i don’t really have friends so im not super close with anyone. i also have bad bad bad sensory issues so i can’t wear a swimsuit to go to the lake or to tan and i can’t wear cute clothes that make me feel good or to match the theme because my nervous system sees almost all clothing as a threat and makes my skin crawl and it puts my whole body into fight or flight mode. it’s honestly hell on earth. i have zero life. i’m 22 and i can’t live the life someone in their early 20s should be able to.
being alone makes me so sad, but being with other people honestly makes me more sad because i want to have fun but my brain just doesn’t let me :(
i have such bad fomo because im spending the 4th alone again. but at the same time, i get so anxious and irritable when im with other people/my family. i don’t really have friends so im not super close with anyone. i also have bad bad bad sensory issues so i can’t wear a swimsuit to go to the lake or to tan and i can’t wear cute clothes that make me feel good or to match the theme because my nervous system sees almost all clothing as a threat and makes my skin crawl and it puts my whole body into fight or flight mode. it’s honestly hell on earth. It’s part of why I developed an ed. I really think being smaller helps with how bad the sensory stuff is. too bad my diagnosis is atypical ana and i’m not actually “skinny”. i have zero life. i’m 22 and i can’t live the life someone in their early 20s should be able to.
being alone makes me so sad, but being with other people honestly makyes me more sad because i want to have fun but my brain just doesn’t let me :(
i have such bad fomo because im spending the 4th alone again. but at the same time, i get so anxious and irritable when im with other people/my family. i don’t really have friends so im not super close with anyone. i also have bad bad bad sensory issues so i can’t wear a swimsuit to go to the lake or to tan and i can’t wear cute clothes that make me feel good or to match the theme because my nervous system sees almost all clothing as a threat and makes my skin crawl and it puts my whole body into fight or flight mode. it’s honestly hell on earth. It’s part of why I developed an ed. I really think being smaller helps with how bad the sensory stuff is. too bad my diagnosis is atypical ana and i’m not actually “skinny”. i have zero life. i’m 22 and i can’t live the life someone in their early 20s should be able to.
being alone makes me so sad, but being with other people honestly makyes me more sad because i want to have fun but my brain just doesn’t let me :(
i have such bad fomo because im spending the 4th alone again. but at the same time, i get so anxious and irritable when im with other people/my family. i don’t really have friends so im not super close with anyone. i also have bad bad bad sensory issues so i can’t wear a swimsuit to go to the lake or to tan and i can’t wear cute clothes that make me feel good or to match the theme because my nervous system sees almost all clothing as a threat and makes my skin crawl and it puts my whole body into fight or flight mode. it’s honestly hell on earth. i have zero life. i’m 22 and i can’t live the life someone in their early 20s should be able to.
being alone makes me so sad, but being with other people honestly makes me more sad because i want to have fun but my brain just doesn’t let me :(
genuinely kms because i need to stick to my meal plan and not go over or eat between meal and snack times (as told to me by my psychologist and dietitians) but omg the in between times im so fucking cranky and irritated. I know my plan is high enough because i'm gaining weight fast asf. i have also been told several times that my meal plan is form fitted to me and doesn't need to be higher or lower
genuinely kms because i need to stick to my meal plan and not go over or eat between meal and snack times (as told to me by my psychologist and dietitians) but omg the in between times im so fucking cranky and irritated. I know my plan is high enough because i’m gaining weight fast asf. i have also been told several times that my meal plan is form fitted to me and doesn’t need to be higher or lower
for some people it’s to numb your mind, for some it’s a sense of control and for some (like me) it’s straight up just to lose weight as a confidence booster or so that people will be worried about you or both or whatever.
So, me and my really good friend met in treatment back in august of 2025. She is/ was quite a bit sicker than me and was severely underweight with a diagnosis of extreme anorexia. I have atypical ana. I know diagnosis doesn’t always mean a lot but I feel like it’s important for this scenario. Despite the technical differences in our diagnosis, we really related to each other as we had very similar experiences and behaviors in our eating disorders (restricting, weight loss, fear of weight gain, similar abnormal eating patterns etc) We also related to many things outside of ours ed’s. We both nanny and love kids, had similar childhoods and all around we just clicked with each other and grew close really fast. We got out of treatment at different times and we live about 4 hours away from each other but we keep in touch and talk every single day multiple times a day even though we haven’t seen each other in person since treatment. After we both got out of treatment we had decided we were going to go on this journey of recovery together and that we were going to be there for each other. She really wanted to get better and even though i didn’t / don’t really want to get better my body stopped giving me the choice and i had started binge eating and i figured eating normally rather than heavily restricting was better than binging. I also feel like it’s important to note that our relationship was not at all solely based off of our eds. in fact, we didn’t talk about it super often.
She was doing really well in recovery for a decent couple of months but in January of this year she started to lose weight again and i could tell. I told her my concerns and she told me everything was fine and that she was actually doing really well. I wanted to believe her but I knew it my gut that she was losing weight. During the following months i had brought up my concerns a handful of times but she convinced me that it was all in my head and that my eating disorder was seeing something that wasent there. She even asked “would i lie to you?” multiple times. About a month ago she “came clean" and told me she had been lying to me about several things for a very long time. One of the things being she promised me for several months that she's doing well and is at a healthy weight when i had brought up my concerns, and she finally told me that she has been restricting and is not at all at a healthy weight. She isn’t at as low of a weight as when she was at her lowest but she’s not super far from it and still has a very low, underweight bmi. it's made me question so many things about myself and our friendship. I've always prided myself on my gut feelings being correct, but she had convinced me it was in my head, and i really thought maybe i was seeing something wrong or something that wasent there but now I know that my gut feelings were right. That said, i thought i had finally found a best friend who i could talk to openly and be able to trust but since she told me this ive been feeling like i don’t have that anymore because i don’t know what to trust from her anymore. After she told me all of this I was SO angry at her for lying, and i still can’t say im totally over it because i still feel like i can trust her. I told her how I felt and she promised me she was going to really try and get better. It’s been a little over a month now and nothing has changed. She’s still at a critical weight, isn’t listening to the dietitian or therapist and is still under eating. i’ve been trying to be helpful by giving her the facts, trying to “scare” her (telling her the irreversible damage she’s doing to her body, how she probably won’t be able to have the kids she wants so badly someday etc - i also say these things kindly and not aggressively), i’ve urged her to listen to her team and so many other things to try and be helpful and she just doesn’t care. She sees the mental toll her behaviors, low weight and worsening physical health are taking on me and she just isn’t changing anything. She keeps telling me she’s trying to get better but it’s so obvious that she isn’t and it’s taking a major toll on me, especially because i’m weight restored when i didn’t really want to recover in the first place as i said earlier.
I told her once that i was upset that shes refusing to get better despite saying she wants to, and she said “oh so you’re mad at me for having i’m eating disorder?” and she’s not totally wrong and i feel like it would be terrible of me to stop talking to her because she’s struggling. She’s also probably my best friend and if i stop talking to her I don’t really have anyone else, let alone anyone else who understands eating disorders and mental health issues. Like I said earlier, our relationship isn’t solely based off of our ed’s and before all of this happened we didn’t even really talk about it other then checking in with each other every so often.
I want to keep my friend but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep trying to convince her to get better and to listen to her team. Plus my eating disorder is jealous and is freaking out. I also just care about her a lot as a person and I can’t keep watching her do this to herself. I’m also worried that if i do this she will get even worse.
I’m so stuck and I don’t know what to do.
So, me and my really good friend met in treatment back in august of 2025. She is/ was quite a bit sicker than me and was severely underweight with a diagnosis of extreme anorexia. I have atypical ana. I know diagnosis doesn’t always mean a lot but I feel like it’s important for this scenario. Despite the technical differences in our diagnosis, we really related to each other as we had very similar experiences and behaviors in our eating disorders (restricting, weight loss, fear of weight gain, similar abnormal eating patterns etc) We also related to many things outside of ours ed’s. We both nanny and love kids, had similar childhoods and all around we just clicked with each other and grew close really fast. We got out of treatment at different times and we live about 4 hours away from each other but we keep in touch and talk every single day multiple times a day even though we haven’t seen each other in person since treatment. After we both got out of treatment we had decided we were going to go on this journey of recovery together and that we were going to be there for each other. She really wanted to get better and even though i didn’t / don’t really want to get better my body stopped giving me the choice and i had started binge eating and i figured eating normally rather than heavily restricting was better than binging. I also feel like it’s important to note that our relationship was not at all solely based off of our eds. in fact, we didn’t talk about it super often.
She was doing really well in recovery for a decent couple of months but in January of this year she started to lose weight again and i could tell. I told her my concerns and she told me everything was fine and that she was actually doing really well. I wanted to believe her but I knew it my gut that she was losing weight. During the following months i had brought up my concerns a handful of times but she convinced me that it was all in my head and that my eating disorder was seeing something that wasent there. She even asked “would i lie to you?” multiple times. About a month ago she “came clean" and told me she had been lying to me about several things for a very long time. One of the things being she promised me for several months that she's doing well and is at a healthy weight when i had brought up my concerns, and she finally told me that she has been restricting and is not at all at a healthy weight. She isn’t at as low of a weight as when she was at her lowest but she’s not super far from it and still has a very low, underweight bmi. it's made me question so many things about myself and our friendship. I've always prided myself on my gut feelings being correct, but she had convinced me it was in my head, and i really thought maybe i was seeing something wrong or something that wasent there but now I know that my gut feelings were right. That said, i thought i had finally found a best friend who i could talk to openly and be able to trust but since she told me this ive been feeling like i don’t have that anymore because i don’t know what to trust from her anymore. After she told me all of this I was SO angry at her for lying, and i still can’t say im totally over it because i still feel like i cant trust her. I told her how I felt and she promised me she was going to really try and get better. It’s been a little over a month now and nothing has changed. She’s still at a critical weight, isn’t listening to the dietitian or therapist and is still under eating. i’ve been trying to be helpful by giving her the facts, trying to “scare” her (telling her the irreversible damage she’s doing to her body, how she probably won’t be able to have the kids she wants so badly someday etc - i also say these things kindly and not aggressively), i’ve urged her to listen to her team and so many other things to try and be helpful and she just doesn’t care. She sees the mental toll her behaviors, low weight and worsening physical health are taking on me and she just isn’t changing anything. She keeps telling me she’s trying to get better but it’s so obvious that she isn’t and it’s taking a major toll on me, especially because i’m weight restored when i didn’t really want to recover in the first place as i said earlier.
I told her once that i was upset that shes refusing to get better despite saying she wants to, and she said “oh so you’re mad at me for having i’m eating disorder?” and she’s not totally wrong and i feel like it would be terrible of me to stop talking to her because she’s struggling. She’s also probably my best friend and if i stop talking to her I don’t really have anyone else, let alone anyone else who understands eating disorders and mental health issues. Like I said earlier, our relationship isn’t solely based off of our ed’s and before all of this happened we didn’t even really talk about it other then checking in with each other every so often.
I want to keep my friend but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep trying to convince her to get better and to listen to her team. Plus my eating disorder is jealous and is freaking out. I also just care about her a lot as a person and I can’t keep watching her do this to herself. I’m also worried that if i do this she will get even worse.
I’m so stuck and I don’t know what to do.
whenever i go to the dentist i get lectured because it seems like i don't brush my teeth enough even though i brush at least 2x a day. i saw somewhere that frequent cavities could be an eds thing!? is that true!?