u/SuspiciousGrape7321

I am sad to say that I am a third culture kid.

Our first move happened when I was 8 years old. We moved from my home, England, to Hong Kong. I had an awful time making friends in my first year there, but eventually got adopted into a friend group of western TCKs when I was 9 or 10. You could say we grew up together and had a normal amount of fallouts.

I always viewed life in HK as temporary. I believed it would only be another month until we returned home and I could be back with all my original friends from England. But every time I thought we would leave, we stayed even longer.

I don’t remember much else about my childhood.

Then the Covid pandemic hit. I was a young teenager at the time and I quickly developed severe depression and fell out with all my friends. I was desperately homesick and would constantly daydream about returning home. My parents were furious that my grades had dropped and we would argue constantly. They didn’t understand how alienated I felt. My family didn’t feel safe and school didn’t feel safe. I just wanted to go back to England.

Finally, at the age of 14, we returned back to England. We lived in the same house, in the same town as I had spent the first 8 years of my life. Everything was meant to be fixed. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

All my friends from primary school had moved on and forgotten me. Our house was bare and stripped of my childhood memories. I joined the high school I had always dreamed about going to, but I was too late. All my classmates had already formed friend groups that I wasn’t welcome in. I was a stranger in what was meant to be my home. There was not a single place in the world where I would feel welcome.

I don’t forgive my parents because they knew I never wanted to be in Hong Kong and they saw me decay in the place I did not belong in. By the time we finally returned home, it was too late for me to start over.

Now, I am a young adult in university and I am still struggling with constant reoccurring memories of the past. I can’t move on and of course I am angry. Of course I am upset at having my childhood stripped away.

(Please reply if you have any experiences or advice. I’ve been feeling quite lonely so it woukd be nice to connect with other people who have suffered from moving.)

So I am from England and heavily identify with that due to how I coped as a TCK.

My family moved to south east Asia when I was 8, then we moved back to my home town in the UK when I was 14.

Abroad, I made friends and had a routine and I felt settled. I don’t remember much else from the 6 years of my childhood spent away. I know bits and pieces, mostly from pictures, but the person I was as a child and preteen feels like someone completely different.

When I was 14, finally back home, I went to the same high school as all the people I knew in primary school. I felt like there was nowhere in the world I was welcome. I chose to try and wipe al memories I had of living abroad and it worked too well. I struggled to maintain friendships and suffered from multiple mental heath problems for the rest of my teen years.

Now I am 19 years old and I feel an emptiness where my past should be. I tried therapy. I tried talking about the past. I feel so lost because I never wanted to move away. I don’t want to accept that the past actually happened. I don’t know how to reconnect with the girl I was before I turned 14.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can try and reconnect with myself as a TCK?

I’ve gained about >!3kg!< in a month from bulimia and I’m really struggling with my appearance.

I’ve just sort of accepted that this is how I look for now, because I know how to lose weight healthily and have done it before.

What’s bothering me is my peers reaction. No one has said anything explicitly, but I’ve seen the looks up and down they think I haven’t noticed.

It’s embarrassing because I can’t just tell them that the reason I’ve gained weight. I just have to accept that everyone will make up their own reason and I don’t like not being able to control their opinions of me.

So yeah, my already fragile confidence is struggling at the very start of recovering from my recent episode.

The nails on my fingers that I use to purge with are cracked with white spots and their nail beds are shorter than the rest of my fingers.

Does anyone else have this? I’m worried it’s becoming noticeable.

The nails on my fingers that I use to purge with are cracked with white spots and their nail beds are shorter than the rest of my fingers.

Does anyone else have this? I’m worried it’s becoming noticeable.

What are some good ways to improve my aftercare routine?

I’m trying to do as much harm reduction as possible, so all advice is welcome!

For my mouth, I rinse it out with room temperature water and mouthwash, then wait at least an hour to brush my teeth with oral b enamel strengthening toothpaste.

For electrolytes, I don’t have an actual packet of anything so I just take a shot of soy sauce and take a multivitamin tablet.

I also slowly drink a few cups of water

Does anyone recommend anything else? Especially what I could do for electrolytes?

I’m once again being reminded of how this will probably be a forever struggle for me.

I decided that I had to recover 4 days ago, then I ended up bp’ing tonight out of habit. I feel really hopeless and like nothing really matters. I’m going to accidentally >!kill myself!< with this disorder whilst all my friends will have no idea what’s going on.

I don’t even know how to ask for help. I feel insanely guilty for talking about myself too much and I’m scared of changing the image I project to my social circle, where I’m fun and bold and happy. I want to keep my life separate from my mental illnesses but it’s getting harder by the day.

Please, if you have any advice, stories, or even just want to say hi, please reply. I really need to feel supported by people who will understand me right now.

Thank you and have a lovely day x

I’m in university, so I’m fairly new to solely living with and relying on my peers.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth telling my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it?

I’m also not sure what I would even say if I was going to open up. My friends are all aware that I’ve had other metal health struggles in the past, but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

I’m in university so I’m new to solely living with and relying on my peers, which means I’m not fully sure the extent of communication I should have with the people I’m close to.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth opening up to my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it? I’ll be able to manage myself regardless, it just feels weird hiding this part of my life from everyone.

I’m not sure what I would say if I was going to open up as well. My friends are aware that I’ve had other struggles with my mental health in the past but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

I know this is a heavy topic. All advice and opinions are more than welcome! I’m trying to see all the perspectives that others may have towards my situation.

I’m in university, so I’m fairly new to solely living with and relying on my peers.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth telling my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it?

I’m also not sure what I would even say if I was going to open up. My friends are all aware that I’ve had other metal health struggles in the past, but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

I’m 19 and in university, so I’m fairly new to solely living with and relying on my peers.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth telling my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it?

I’m also not sure what I would even say if I was going to open up. My friends are all aware that I’ve had other metal health struggles in the past, but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

I’m 19 and in university, so I’m fairly new to solely living with and relying on my peers.

I’ve been in a mild-moderate bulimia relapse for months now and it’s looking like I’ll be struggling to various degrees for a long time.

Is it worth telling my close friends? Or should I just carry on as usual without mentioning it?

I’m also not sure what I would even say if I was going to open up. My friends are all aware that I’ve had other metal health struggles in the past, but since eating disorders are a very active illness I feel like opening up would be very different.

I am F19 and in a new relationship with my bf called John (M19).

John and I are also in a friend group with a guy called Henry (M19).

John and Henry both have very similar personalities.

Last year, I had a crush on Henry (before I knew John) but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I have suspected that Henry used to like me as well, but neither of us were in a state to get into a relationship, and we never said anything either.

I am worried that I have combined them together in my head. I didn’t want this to happen but I feel really embarrassed and ashamed.