u/Teach-Dangerous

My husband cuts his own hair since COVID. It saved us a lot of money, because he needs a hair cut at least every 2-3 weeks. My FIL used to get free haircuts from SIL’s now ex-boyfriend, who is a professional barber, for the last 10 years. With ex-boyfriend out of the picture, FIL has now asked Husband to cut his hair. Fine, it takes about an hour to do, no biggie.

What annoys me to no end is the entitlement. We regularly see FIL and family on Sunday, so Husband planned to do the cut on that day. Apparently, that doesn’t work for FIL. FIL wants a haircut in advance of Sunday so that he doesn’t have to shower in the middle of watching football or hanging out with the family. FIL can’t understand that we have plans for ourselves and my family on Friday/Saturday that we will not drop for him. Husband even fucking apologized no other day would work for him.

FIL is now throwing a hissy-fit that Husband hasn’t come over to cut his hair and has stood his ground to cut it on Sunday, like he promised to. I swear if we get there tomorrow and FIL treats us poorly, we’re leaving. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the hair cut or not. I am so over this entitlement.

Update: so FIL no longer wants his normal cut with clippers, but more complex scissoring for layers/styling. My husband had no idea how to do that and did his best to trim it. FIL was a little upset that he didn’t try more, and Husband said maybe a salon would be better since his scissors are actual craft scissors lol

Aside from that, FIL’s behavior was pretty uneventful. He welcomed us in and “allowed” husband to watch their favorite team play (and win) before doing the haircut.

I genuinely don’t think my SIL interprets anything I say with good intent. It’s become increasingly difficult to have a conversation with her, without feeling like I am going to say the wrong thing.

Relationship context, about 4 years ago now my husband was recovering from an addiction which caused some distance between us and his family. We couldn’t tell them what he was going through, which caused them to blame me for the distance and strained my relationship with them. After husband had some semblance of stability, we did tell them about the addiction, but I think their impression of me remains now over 2 years later.

Essentially, my SIL told me that I have been critical of the way she parents my niece. I am pretty blind sided by it, because that child is really the only one that engages with me at family functions (essentially I just play with my nieces and nephews the whole event) and I only talk with SIL when I approach. The few times I have tried to start a conversation with SIL, I tend to talk about my niece. Here are two instances of what she said was me critiquing my SIL’s parenting.

My husband and I went on a family outing with SIL/niece. It was nearing 10pm on a school night. I mentioned how it was late for me and I was getting tired, and then asked if niece had a regular full day of school tomorrow since I had work. SIL said yes and that niece self-regulates her bedtime. I learned that SIL felt I was hinting that niece should not be out that late. I don’t know school schedules, and thought maybe she had a half-day? Idk I thought this was very normal to ask, we left shortly afterwards because I was tired.

On another outing, we went to a beach. My SIL didn’t pack any beach toys for niece, but I had a few things that we improvised as beach toys. I complimented my niece’s resourcefulness to make a toy out of my car junk. SIL felt I was calling her out for not bringing any toys for niece. I thought it was insanely smart of my niece to use a frisbee to size rocks by the momentum at which she stirred it. I was impressed and was focused on that, not what we didn’t have.

My SIL knows how much I love my niece. I spend much of my time at family parties engaging with her and supporting her milestones. My tone is always the same- I keep repeating the exact verbiage I used for both instances and feel like this is normal?? I dont know.

AITAH or is my SIL just reading into everything I say

This weekend my golden SIL was in town and my FIL wanted to make the most of her visit. BIL paid for a family dinner earlier in the week and FIL paid for bowling as well. FIL volunteered us to set up for a family picnic at a lake only a few hours drive. Sure, we can do that. We planned to bring everything but the food- so drinks, dessert, grill, canopy, chairs, yard games, etc.

We left the house at 5am to secure the best spot on the lake and set up. FIL and MIL arrived at 9:30am and brought us breakfast which was very sweet. We waited until my husband’s sisters made their way over until 2pm. Honestly, I wasn’t even mad that we waited- the morning with just my parent in laws and husband was a lot of fun.

SILs were stressed because there was no parking and just travelled for 2 hours. Relatable. They open up our cooler and see the drinks; immediately They complain because we got normal soda, not zero sugar. Annoying, you guys didn’t bring anything but sorry- the water bottles have zero sugar.

We bbq and lunch was great. FIL sees boats for rent and keeps mentioning how fun it’d be to rent since golden sil is in town. Husband and I don’t care to, because we came at 7am to secure the picnic spot and let him know. FIL is persistent though, and makes my husband walk with him to get a quote.

$200 for 2 hours or $500 all-day, but only for 10 people. FIL told husband how affordable $200 is, Husband agreed if FIL could do $200 then he can, but Husband will need help tearing down the picnic site because we’re not leaving all of our stuff out. FIL throws a slight tantrum, like a child at a toy store.

Still in the mood to spend money, SILs keep inquiring about the people with ice cream so FIL tells the whole family that we’re getting ice cream at the parlor close by. We all get in line, and he thanks BIL for paying for it loudly to his sisters, then he tells golden SIL his and MIL’s order and sits way off to the side.

Ridiculous that my parent in laws brought so much food and we still had to buy ice cream on top. It’s like they can’t NOT spend money, even when it’s not their own money to spend. All around, husband and I had had a fun time and didn’t spend more than we wanted to; genuinely think we had the best time of everyone because we are content without wanting more every 5 seconds.

I posted a while ago about how we were invited on a fully-planned family vacation as an afterthought once the full airbnb costs were due. My FIL wanted us to fork over 30% of their 7-day stay, even if we were only visiting for the weekend and would not have a room but share a couch as a couple with BIL. We declined, but had to sit through a long and annoying conversation following.

Despite us maintaining our clearly defined financial boundaries, my FIL still makes “subtle” requests, hoping one will take. His golden daughter is visiting home, so FIL invited us out to bowling to have some family time. Being a week night, we were not going to go but FIL was persistent. He even coaxed us by offering the bowling alley in our city. We decided to go, bowling is fun and it was our rest day.

“Yes! I’ll send you our ETA. You’ll get there first since it’s in town. Just go ahead and reserve the lanes and the shoe rentals for 6 people. Thanks!” Casually, he slipped in how many people he invited (my FIL and his household of husband’s sisters and their child) and that husband can pay before they arrive for ease of not having to “fight” for the check.

FIL, like a child, throws a tantrum when told no, so Husband and I no longer outright express our boundaries but instead find creative ways to avoid confrontation. While on the phone, husband just let him know that we were finishing up dinner and that whoever arrives first can get the lanes.

We timed it perfectly to arrive 3 minutes after they did. My FIL called when they headed into the bowling alley and gasped when we said we were at the stoplight before it. It was an awkward enough amount of time for him to have to pay instead of waiting around for us to park and walk in.

Just sharing a small victory for us. We maintained our boundaries without confrontation and a scene from FIL. Money things aside, his family is a great time.

My husband has a large family of 7 siblings. One of his oldest sisters was celebrating her daughter’s first birthday earlier this month with a family barbecue at their house. Fantastic. Husband and I came bearing a gift for our niece, a small treat for her siblings, and a dish.

SIL, my husband’s deployed brother’s wife, also comes to the house with her child. She and child were craving mango sticky rice and was so proud to be able to bring it for the family. However, she forgot a key ingredient: the mango; she brought a pot of the semi-sweet sticky rice, which is still a very good dessert on its own and could have been eaten as is.

Instead of just calling it sticky rice or buying mangos herself, she asked hosting sister if she had any (she did not). SIL then asked hosting sister if her husband could go to the store and grab the mangos. Being a large family, my husband’s siblings tend to enable as to not cause rifts in the family especially since SIL’s husband/their brother is deployed.

Sister’s husband missed a large part of his own daughter’s first birthday. No where in town had the particular mango that SIL wanted, which was already known but he still left to show good faith. SIL got another sister to doordash the mangos to the house from a further super market.

I should just mind my own business, but what upset me was that at the end of the night, I just wanted some fruit. I grabbed some mango and SIL pointedly drew attention that I avoided her sticky rice that accompanies the mangos. I didn’t want to have a major blood sugar spike being so late at night, but she was still visibly offended.

SIL then happily left with the rest of her dessert including the uncut mangos, plus leftovers from the party. She remarked how mangos are so expensive now and she left with more than she brought. My husband is also in the military, so maybe I don’t cut her more slack for that reason but ugh she just annoys me at this point lol.

I have used cream Tretinoin for a little over 2.5 years, working up from 0.025% to 0.1% nightly for acne and now overall anti-aging and skin health.

My skin is largely adjusted to nightly use, but I will get irritation or dryness occasionally (usually around my mouth and nose). Every so often however, my textured scars on my cheeks will become red, but not feel irritated. The redness is isolated to just the scar. I continue with my routine and eventually the redness goes away within 2-5 days.

I am curious if anyone else gets the same and if it’s a sign of healing or irritation? My scars are over 10 years old and I’ve only seen this happen a few times in the last year. If I should avoid the area with actives until the spot heals too, please advise!

Routine: Cera Ve Non-Foaming Cleanser (night time only), Cream Tretinoin 0.1% (night time only) Azelaic Acid 15% (day/ sometimes night), Skin 1004 Sun Serum (day time only)

To begin, we said no outright. This is just another instance of insane requests from my SIL (28F) as my husband (26M) literally enabled his twin brother his entire life and SIL has expected the same treatment since they got together. His twin brother has never treated us with the same support in the 10 years I have been with Husband and Husband has finally set boundaries in the last few years.

SIL found a free playground on FB marketplace and wanted to get it. With BIL on extended work travel, she asked my husband (and I 25F) to do it. The entirety of her requests includes a 2hr drive to/from her city in his truck, disassembly of the play set from the seller, delivery to her home and reassembly. She did not describe helping at all, likely not being awake for much of what she described. The cherry on top was that she requested we do it early in the morning so that when she expected us to finish in the late afternoon, we could all go to lunch at kbbq. Mind you, she has never paid for an outing ever.

After we said no, she pulled the sympathy card about holding down the fort without BIL. She offered $20 for gas and to buy us ice cream if we got dinner.

My husband’s family is large with 7 siblings, all with long-term partners, and admittedly they are all very enmeshed. All the partners in the family have been considered family for many years.

My husband’s eldest brother recently attempted to mediate the relationship of his sister (26F) and her boyfriend of 11 years. Eldest brother even offered his home to the boyfriend to give them the necessary space to clear their heads for a few days in hopes of reconciling. During boyfriend’s stay, Eldest Brother learned of his sister’s infidelity and deception which left Eldest Brother in the position to support Boyfriend to leave officially for the betterment of both of them individually.

Instead of the family grieving the absence of their “bonus” brother/son quietly, husband’s father is now attacking Eldest Brother and trying to rally other siblings against EB for encouraging the break up. FIL tends to enable SIL, who has always been financially dependent on FIL and now ex-boyfriend. I personally think FIL is outraged by the breakup, because now he has to take full financial responsibility for his professional student and un/underemployed 26-y/o daughter again. EB is the scapegoat for his younger sister’s breakup caused by her infidelity.

SIL went out of state to pursue another degree, and ex-boyfriend quit his job and relocated to be with her a year into the program. He took over for FIL paying her rent, and even paid a higher amount when she wanted to move into a better apartment. Due to the breakup, FIL thinks there’s only two choices family assumes SIL’s luxury rent or SIL has to drop out of college and it’s all family’s fault for failing her.

FIL cosigned the luxury building and now with ex-boyfriend gone thinks its Eldest Brother and Husband (who sided with EB)’s responsibility to take over her rent. FIL’s rationale was that EB caused the break up by not telling FIL so FIL could insert himself and “fix” it, he also felt EB turned against his sister when he housed ex-boyfriend during mediation.

This is a private breakup made into a family matter and now everyone is at a loss. FIL can’t comprehend SIL’s accountability in it all and now expects another man to rescue her.

Tl;dr: SIL never had to take accountability in her life ever and now faces the consequences of biting the hand that feeds her. FIL blames Eldest Brother and Husband for her actions.

Edit: Husband sided with EB to my FIL. He does not financially support EB.

My husband is from a large and somewhat enmeshed family with 7 siblings, grown even larger by the several long-term partners of the siblings. I (25F) have been with my husband for 10 years since we were 15, my SIL (26F) was with her boyfriend for 11 years.

For most of my 10 years in the family, SIL and I have had a strained relationship. In high school, she was critical of me to “protect” her younger brother, but it just felt like bullying. After we graduated, the behavior persisted and even was the worst during my husband and I’s lowest part in our relationship. Due to addiction, my husband and I struggled together and SIL made it her business to tell everyone what she thought she knew about us as truth. It was a difficult time already made worse by the rumors and drama she caused, again excused to “protect” family. She was clued in to his addiction and that I was not abusing her brother. My husband recovered and we got married years later. SIL never apologized, but after it came out that her assumptions were wrong about our relationship , her public criticisms of me stopped. I grey rock her and am cordial but distant now.

Her boyfriend, by contrast, is very kind to everyone. He wasn’t overtly kind to me out of respect for SIL, but he was a bonus brother to my husband. He’s a core member of our family. He’s the type to want everyone in SIL’s large family to feel like his family, even buying us and our dog souvenirs on trips. He provides for SIL, who is a professional student and mostly under/unemployed.

They unfortunately are considering the end to their relationship, because SIL cheated. Her ex is moving out of their shared apartment that he left his job for to relocate close to her school a few months ago and is moving into husband’s brother’s home. I think the ex still wants to reconcile because he has let husband’s brother know that he doesn’t want to move back to his parents house yet and “make it official”. My husband, with my support, wants to offer her ex-boyfriend to live with us while he/they figure it out since it’s more ideal.

This is where I feel like the AH. I am happy that husband wants to offer the ex-boyfriend our house, because he is a great friend and is obviously going through a lot right now. I have set hard boundaries though that husband and I will provide no financial support to SIL, but we/he can be there for her emotionally. I don’t believe many of his other siblings will help either SIL or ex-boyfriend financially, so is it an AH move that we are considering only providing financial support to ex-boyfriend? It could provide them the needed time and space to decide to reconcile, but if they do end things, we have only helped the ex which could be seen as “out if spite”.

Tl;dr: SIL and her long-term boyfriend broke up. We only are considering helping ex-boyfriend financially who now has to relocate. SIL will have our emotional support, but with the context we are also helping her ex-boyfriend.

My husband is from a very large family with 7 siblings, grown even larger by the several long-term partners of the siblings. I (25F) have been with my husband (25M) for 10 years since we were 15, my SIL (26F) was with her boyfriend (27M) for 11 years.

For most of my 10 years in the family, SIL and I have a strained relationship. In high school, she was critical of me to “protect” her younger brother, but it just felt like bullying. After we graduated, the behavior persisted and even was the worst during my husband and I’s lowest part in our relationship. Due to addiction, my husband and I struggled in our relationship and SIL made it her business to tell everyone what she thought she knew about us as truth. It was a difficult time personally made worse by the rumors and drama she caused, again to “protect her brother”. She was clued in to his addiction and that I was not abusing her brother. My husband recovered and we got married years later. SIL never apologized, but after it came out that her assumptions were wrong about our relationship , her public criticisms of me stopped. I grey rock her and am cordial but distant now.

Her boyfriend, by contrast, is very kind to everyone. He wasn’t overtly kind to me out of respect for SIL, but he was a bonus brother to my husband. He’s been a part of our life since HS and supported all celebrations of the family. He’s the type to want everyone in SIL’s large family to feel like his family, even buying us and our dog souvenirs on trips. He provided for SIL, who is a professional student and mostly under/unemployed.

They unfortunately are headed towards calling an end to their relationship, because SIL cheated. Her boyfriend is moving out of their shared apartment that he left his job for to relocate close to her school a few months ago. I think he still wants to reconcile because he has let husband’s brother know that he doesn’t want to move back to his parents house yet and “make it official”. My husband, with my support, wants to offer her ex-boyfriend to live with us while he/they figure it out.

This is where I feel like the AH. I am happy that husband wants to offer the ex-boyfriend our house, because he is a great friend and is obviously going through a lot right now. I have set hard boundaries though that husband and I will provide no financial support to SIL, but we/he can be there for her emotionally. I don’t believe many of his other siblings will help either SIL or ex-boyfriend financially, so is it an AH move that we are considering only providing financial support to ex-boyfriend?

Tl;dr: SIL and her long-term boyfriend broke up. We only are considering helping ex-boyfriend financially who now has to relocate. SIL will have our emotional support, but with the context we are also helping her ex-boyfriend.

I purchased a new build in 2024. My original annual quote was around $650, but the renewal quote had increased to $1400. I shopped last year with an insurance broker and was with Mercury Insurance for $740. These numbers are all just the home, not bundling with auto or anything. I have never submitted a claim.

My current home insurance policy will expire closer to the end of August so I am again in the market. My question is that I know have have insanely low insurance premiums due to the new build, but how much longer will it be a “new build” for these low premiums?

I live in the Central Valley, CA. I am not in a flood zone or wild fire zone.

We had a group camp site for the 4th of July weekend. 30 of us and 5 dogs in a pretty secluded but very open site. The neighboring individual sites were smaller, bunched up and faced the main road roundabout.

Anyways, we had a bear walk through our site before 6am the day after some firework shows. It didn’t come through because of food/ scented gear, most likely just making its way back from where it left the night before due to the noise. Because it was early, only like 10 of our party were awake and scared off the bear. All in, took like 5 minutes to have it run off.

Our neighbors, a younger couple and their reactive small dog, from an individual site walked over to our group site after the bear left. They asked us which way it went, which was the direction opposite of their campsite. THEY TRIED TO FOLLOW THE BEARS PATH THROUGH OUR CAMPSITE.

We blocked them from entering our group campsite with their reactive dog. They wanted to find the bear. We told them that they could provoke the bear and lead it straight back into our camp. They were disappointed that they missed the bear siting since they were still in the tent when it happened and walked over after it left. They had the audacity to tell the camp host that we didn’t allow them to access the tree-line from our camp site and gave them no option but to walk through the brush enclosing the group campsite. Camp host told us this after the fact and made a joke that they filed a complaint about the poison ivy needed to be maintained to access the bears path, and the Host reminded them not to walk through active restoration sites.

The man of the pair held a vlogging camera and the woman was dressed nicely but not for the elements. I am assuming they wanted to encourage bear activity in our site for content. Their reactive yapper was also trying to mark over our camp site, which they hadn’t corrected in the few minutes of our interaction.

To that party from 7/3-7/6: I hope you recognize how dangerous your intentions could have been for everyone around you. The separate $1000 fine you received for not properly utilizing the bear locker should indicate something that bears are not meant to be engaged with.

My lab does fantastic on road trips and camping, but I am always on the look out for ways to better her care in the outdoors.

light up collar, elevated dog cot, and water bowl with a lid are our stand out essentials for camping with our dog.

we also pack her some enrichment chews if needed, but we do let her steal from our fire wood pile on the occasion

My BIL (26M) and his now wife (28F) decided to get married with less than 2 weeks of planning. Despite having no time to properly plan, a court house wedding was below them. They wanted all 6 of the groom’s siblings and the bride’s sister to be available for a full weekend 3-4 hours away with less than 8 days of notice. One sister cancelled her child’s birthday party, another needed medical permission to travel 38 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I postponed our wedding anniversary trip.

To add to the guest’s responsibility, my BIL needed assistance with every aspect of the wedding. BIL booked a touristy AirBNB and feigned military orders to have the Host overlook the occupancy limit and event rules. My BIL had chosen my husband as his best man, which just meant we were in charge of much of the logistics. Husband hauled the event tables and chairs 4hrs away, did the set up and take down, paid for the rehearsal dinner and handled the BTS of the operation. I did the weekend photography, babysat the kids, helped the bride with her HMUA, assisted in the setup/takedown and helped BIL through the planning. My FIL and his other brother also contributed to see the day through too. The wedding did have a beautiful ceremony and now can be a fond memory, but my husband and I were rushed and separated for nearly the whole weekend.

During the event, the bride and groom had thanked us and made promises of some grand appreciation gesture. In the weeks after, I received a flimsy hair clip and expired sheet mask as a thank you basket that was given to everyone because it also included a QR code to their wedding registry.

Edit: removed the “had to”s from sibling’s plans for that weekend

My DH and his 6 siblings planned to gift their Father a weekend stay in the city that their parents got married for their 27th year anniversary on Father’s Day. In addition to the hotel, they also prepaid dinner and an activity and gave cash. It is truly a deserved gift for both of his parents, who have sacrificed much to raise their large family and we were all excited to gift.

We arrived first and already disappointed FIL by not bringing a dish he did not ask us to bring, but expected in addition to what we said we’d bring. The rest of the siblings arrive, all with a dish but no physical gift in hand as the eldest was waiting for everyone to arrive before presenting the gift. FIL jokes about the lacks of gifts and brings up how he wants a specific $3000 jetski to DH. DH shows polite interest but maintains a position that we need to do more research.

Finally, we present the gift- first the certificates, then the cash and finally the hotel reservation. The eldest shares a touching speech and memory connecting all the gifts together, it’s thoughtful and so sweet. Mom tears up in gratitude, no words but the sentiment is felt in the room. Dad keeps reading the printed reservation, looks of disbelief. We think he’s excited. Then he opens his mouth.

“I love this, but I wanted to take Mom to Hawaii”. He further explains himself that Mom always wanted to go to Hawaii and that for their 25th year they were supposed to go but couldn’t afford it. FIL then digs that DH mentioned taking me to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary soon. He kind of held empty palms to DH saying that 27 years married deserves Hawaii more than 10 years dating/married.

The eldest is obviously a third parent and peace keeper, so he starts playing videos of the resort that they’ll be staying at. Mom jokes that FIL can still take them to Hawaii after their anniversary, but FIL jokes back that maybe that’ll be the gift they receive next year. The resort does look phenomenal, so FIL eventually warmed up to it with enough videos.

I still have good feelings about the gift we gave, but yeah maybe not again. Husband and I didn’t go over budget for the gift this year so a win is a win.

Edited to fix grammatical errors/ rephrase specifics

I’ve had my tumbler composter for 2 months and it’s breaking down the organic matter very well. Recently, I started to notice small balls forming that I can very easily break up with my hand.

The compost was warm, damp and didn’t smell. Any ways to prevent the balls of compost from forming? Should I go in with a trowel and break the small ones I do have up?

I need to schedule an in-office procedure per my care team’s directive. The department I go to for this care team is in Manteca. The Stockton Department reached out to schedule my procedure- I go to the Manteca Center, so I asked to be scheduled there out of convenience. The Stockton Center understandably can’t schedule the procedure, but will message Manteca, was told to expect a call in 24 hours.

It’s been two days, so I figured I’d call Manteca Kaiser Center, Operator directed me to the correct department, and call wasn’t picked up. I called the 1-800 Appointment and Advice line, to which the Representative told me that they cannot schedule my appointment because it includes a medical procedure. I reached out to the Kaiser in-app help desk, which referred me to a local Appointment and Advice line and was given the same information.

Definitely did not want to bombard the department with inquiries to schedule my appointment, but their office is only open during my working hours. I haven’t missed a call, but have missed these calls for past procedures due to my work schedule. I literally just wasted my lunch trying to call all of these numbers to get in touch with the department.

I know it’s the way the system needs to work as the department knows the doctor’s actual schedule, but it just is not feasible for a 9-5 worker to be available at all times to receive the call just to schedule an appointment.

Maybe this is just a humble brag post, but I don’t care.

Husband and I have been together 10 years, since HS so I was 15 and his eldest sister was 27. Even 12 years my senior, she’s always been very immature and victimized herself. She’d exclude me, insult me, and laugh about me. She’d even scratched my face out of a family photo. She’d cry anytime Husband confronted her, since I was making him choose me over family and disrupting the family peace. For 7 years, I tried to mend our relationship; I basically apologized like it was a blank check. “Husband stopped hanging out with So&So? My fault, what a controlling and isolating bitch. ” Sorry, SIL, I didn’t realize his friendships from HS meant so much to you; that was totally rude and affects you deeply. You’re totally right to just assume that their falling out was my fault. Sorry, SIL, announcing our engagement and having a wedding was super rude of us because you’re having a hard time dating. Literal years of apologizing for things that didn’t affect her or things taken WILDLY out of context.

I decided 3 years ago, that I was done. Surprisingly, me not taking her shit anymore made her lose interest eventually. We’re amicable in person at family events, but I don’t like her character and only engage in group settings. Anyways, her inability to take accountability is the reason she’s in the position that she is. She is 37 and works a dead end job. She has been a single mom for 8 years and needs their parents to help financially support herself and her child. Her love life is what it is and she has no friends, only cousins/sisters who have a familiar obligation to be close to.

She recently had problems with her parents and they kicked her out (literally only for a day). She came to the house that I purchased before husband and I married. No, you can’t stay with us but I can take child to swim camp tomorrow since Mom normally does it. Now she’s crying that she has no one to turn to. She acknowledged that we had problems before, but we’ve been okay for the last 3 years. Completely ignored that it was my distancing myself from her that made her abuse stop and I received no apology from her whatsoever in 10 years.

I told her that I would not allow her child to be without a bed and a meal and that the child can stay by themself (have already babysat on my own for the last 6 years) but any further contact would be through husband. Husband also shares how I feel about her, but is more cold and distant.

Also, her parents were not kicking out her child, just her. She just wanted to force her child to suffer her consequences too, so she’d have a pawn to manipulate someone into letting her stay. Ended up staying with a different brother who felt some type of way about us not letting her in, “everyone can be forgiven”. I admit he is a better Catholic than I ever could be; he resents her sometimes too but good on him for putting it aside for family.

It’s really fucked up to realize but I actually felt so good telling her no. Maybe I am the bad guy, still but I own it.