u/That_GayWeirdo

This is my first year taking theatre. it’s become a passion of mine, and I now know thanks to this class that I want to do this as a job when I’m older. I got cast in my class as Sabine from Three Musketeers, and we’ve been practicing for months for this play. Two weeks ago, I got a viral sickness that I got over quickly, we thought it was nothing. I then had a persistent horrible headache for a week. Last weekend, I woke up suddenly sick again, 102°(f) fever, vomiting, all that. With the symptoms combined and my past medical history making me vulnerable to many things, I had to go to the hospital. I ended up getting a spinal tap done to check for meningitis… turns out, it was absolutely nothing! It was just a bunch of symptoms that coincidentally looked concerning when together. But fuck me of course, and I have had to miss my entire week of school because I’m in recovery from my spinal tap, and I missed my play last night. Someone else from another class played Sabine instead. There is no second performance. I missed my only chance to do this. I worked my ass off for months for absolutely nothing. And my entire theatre class is in our group chat sending photos talking about how great it was, and I’m here in bed having to watch them all talk about it. I’ve cried numerous times over this, but what more can I do? I basically just have to suck it up and move on. I don’t even know anymore man, I’m just upset. I was really excited for this, I invited everyone I knew.

like, how am I supposed to know if it’s a stabbing, throbbing, or shooting pain?? I don’t even know what either of those are supposed to feel like to begin with. I’m almost certain this has to do with literal thinking or something like that but SERIOUSLY HOW!! Same with the pain scale. What’s a 10? Whats a 1?? I DONT KNOWWW!! This is genuinely a curse on my existence because I’ll accidentally downplay or over exaggerate my pain constantlyyy. Like it all feels the same to me, painful!! I have a horrible headache right now that I need to go to a doctor for since it’s abnormal, and literally the only way I can explain it is “like a cluster headache pain wise but worse”, and I know that’s not really enough information but still!

For the past four days I’ve had an off and on headache that lasts for 30 minutes to 3 hours at a time. For reference, it hurts as much as a cluster headache I would say, as that’s the closest pain to this that I’ve experienced, but maybe a bit worse. When I have it it’s really hard to focus on anything else, and I typically notice it tends to come on when I’m walking (though it doesn’t always do that, it’s random as well). It’s always in the back bottom right area of my head, occasionally hurting the neck bit below it, but never hurting the whole neck, just a small bit of it in the same spot. I‘ve also had this same headache be reoccurring a few weeks ago in the same spot, but I also had cluster headaches mixed in that time, and the periods of time I had the headaches for was shorter, plus they stopped after around three days. When it comes to my health I’m overly anxious as I was born with a heart defect and I know I’m more vulnerable to a lot of things, so I can’t tell if this is actually concerning or if I’m just being anxious.