u/TimeControl606

Liezi chapter 7 section 6 edited down for short attention spans

Long ago three brothers were born into an influential family.

One of the brothers became a statesman. For three years, the virtuous submitted to his rule, and the wicked feared his prohibitions.

The second brother became a drunkard. When he was indulging in wine, he was oblivious to the dangers of the world, the regrets of human nature, the possibility of loss within his own household, the closeness or distance of his relatives, and the joys and sorrows of survival and death. Even if fire, water, or weapons were before him, he would remain unaware.

The third brother became a philanderer. When he was indulging in women, he abandoned his relatives and friends. If there was a beautiful young woman in the village, he would bribe her and use matchmakers to seduce her.

The statesman was troubled by the behavior of his brothers and lectured them about it:

"When propriety and righteousness are achieved, fame and positio:n will follow. If one is swayed by emotions and indulges in desires, then life and death will be in danger. Heed my words and repent!"

His brothers replied:

"We have been considering this for a long time. Why must we wait for your words to understand it? To desire to put on airs to impress others, to feign emotions to gain fame - We would rather die than do this. We only worry about an empty stomach preventing me from drinking freely, about exhaustion preventing me from indulging in lust; We have no time to worry about the disgrace of our reputation or the danger to our life. Moreover when one suffers from a stressful job such as yours the body suffers. Does that not also put life and death in danger? We have always wanted to explain this to you yet you try to teach us instead!?"

I came upon this passage in the Chuang Tzu and made me think of SubGenius and Discordianism. Most of that book does, (and you should all read it, it's in the public domain), but this is one of the passages that stuck out:

Nanbo Ziqi was traveling in the Hills of Shang when he came upon a great tree—a truly extraordinary specimen. A thousand chariots, yoked four abreast, could have found ample shade beneath its spreading canopy. Ziqi exclaimed, "What manner of tree is this? Surely, it must possess some exceptional timber!" He looked up at its slender branches, only to find them gnarled and twisted—unfit to serve as beams or pillars. He looked down at its massive roots, only to find them split and decayed—unfit to be fashioned into a coffin or sarcophagus. He tasted a leaf, and his mouth went numb and raw with pain; he inhaled its scent, and it left him in a stupor—reeling as if drunk for three days without respite. Ziqi sighed, "This is, indeed, a tree of no utility; yet, precisely because of this, it has grown to such immense size. Alas! It is by virtue of this very 'uselessness' that the spiritual man attains his greatness!"

In the State of Song, there lived a clan named Jing, whose lands were well-suited for growing catalpa, cypress, and mulberry trees. Any tree that grew to the thickness of a man's embrace was cut down to be fashioned into stakes for tethering monkeys; any tree three or four spans in girth was cut down to be carved into decorative panels for the mansions of the high and mighty; and any tree seven or eight spans in girth was cut down to be used as side-planks for the coffins of the wealthy and noble. Thus, none of these trees were ever permitted to fulfill their natural lifespan; instead, they met a premature end—struck down in their prime by the axe and saw. Such is the calamity that befalls those possessed of "talent." Conversely, consider the sacrificial victims: an ox with a white blaze on its forehead, a pig with a turned-up snout, or a human being afflicted with hemorrhoids—none of these are deemed fit to be offered as a sacrifice to the River God. The diviners and priests recognize these traits as omens of misfortune—and precisely because they are deemed "inauspicious" by ordinary men, they become, in the eyes of the spiritual man, the very signs of supreme good fortune.

The past and future do not change and this is what gives time control its power and "BOB" his luck. If the past and future cannot change but "BOB" has the power to change them the only way to resolve the paradox is for nothing that "BOB" would need to change to happen in the first place. A time controller in a changable timeline would have to constantly get down into the dirt of things like Captain Kirk or the guy from Edge of Tomorrow, but an unchanging timeline must happen right the first time in order to appease "BOB" and prevent this.

A man was shown a vision of the afterlife: In Hell the damned were seated at a great feast, but they were all starved because the forks and spoons were longer than their arms and they could not eat with them. In Heaven the setup was the same but they ate with their hands.

Like something where it's like gore gore gore all the time like a Cannibal Corpse song but the actual singing and the guitar sound more like Steppenwolf or early Black Sabbath - smooth and clearly enunciated

In either case Brutus and Cassius are unfairly maligned. Caesar's actions led to the fall of the Roman Republic and 2000 years of darkness, and it frankly baffles me that even in modern democracies people still take his side over the people who were loyal to the Republic

1. It is a conceptual truth (or, so to speak, true by definition) that BOB is a being than which there is nothing better than.

2. BOB exists as an concept in the mind.

3. Things are always better in concept than they are in reality (cf. communism, capitalism, segway technology, the founding fathers, the film adaptation of that book you like, all celebrities, etc.)

4. Thus, if BOB exists in reality there is something better than BOB (that is, the concept of BOB)

5. But there cannot be something that is greater than BOB

6. Therefore, BOB does not exist in reality.

(from the 1906 short story collection Time and the Gods)

It is told also of King Khanazar how he bowed very low unto the gods of Old. None bowed so low unto the gods of Old as did King Khanazar.

One day the King returning from the worship of the gods of Old and from bowing before them in the temple of the gods commanded their prophets to appear before him, saying:

"I would know somewhat concerning the gods."

Then came the prophets before King Khanazar, burdened with many books, to whom the King said:

"It is not in books."

Thereat the prophets departed, bearing away with them a thousand methods well devised in books whereby men may gain wisdom of the gods. One alone remained, a master prophet, who had forgotten books, to whom the King said:

"The gods of Old are mighty."

And answered the master prophet:

"Very mighty are the gods of Old."

Then said the King:

"There are no gods but the gods of Old."

And answered the prophet:

"There are none other."

And they two being alone within the palace the King said:

"Tell me aught concerning gods or men if aught of the truth be known."

Then said the master prophet:

"Far and white and straight lieth the road to Knowing, and down it in the heat and dust go all wise people of the earth, but in the fields before they come to it the very wise lie down or pluck the flowers. By the side of the road to Knowing—O King, it is hard and hot—stand many temples, and in the doorway of every temple stand many priests, and they cry to the travellers that weary of the road, crying to them:

"This is the End."

And in the temples are the sounds of music, and from each roof arises the savour of pleasant burning; and all that look at a cool temple, whichever temple they look at, or hear the hidden music, turn in to see whether it be indeed the End. And such as find that their temple is not indeed the End set forth again upon the dusty road, stopping at each temple as they pass for fear they miss the End, or striving onwards on the road, and see nothing in the dust, till they can walk no longer and are taken worn and weary of their journey into some other temple by a kindly priest who shall tell them that this also is the End. Neither on that road may a man gain any guiding from his fellows, for only one thing that they say is surely true, when they say:

"Friend, we can see nothing for the dust."

And of the dust that hides the way much has been there since ever that road began, and some is stirred up by the feet of all that travel upon it, and more arises from the temple doors.

And, O King, it were better for thee, travelling upon that road, to rest when thou hearest one calling: "This is the End," with the sounds of music behind him. And if in the dust and darkness thou pass by Lo and Mush and the pleasant temple of Kynash, or Sheenath with his opal smile, or Sho with his eyes of agate, yet Shilo and Mynarthitep, Gazo and Amurund and Slig are still before thee and the priests of their temples will not forget to call thee.

And, O King, it is told that only one discerned the end and passed by three thousand temples, and the priests of the last were like the priests of the first, and all said that their temple was at the end of the road, and the dark of the dust lay over them all, and all were very pleasant and only the road was weary. And in some were many gods, and in a few only one, and in some the shrine was empty, and all had many priests, and in all the travellers were happy as they rested. And into some his fellow travellers tried to force him, and when he said:

"I will travel further," many said:

"This man lies, for the road ends here."

And he that travelled to the End hath told that when the thunder was heard upon the road there arose the sound of the voices of all the priests as far as he could hear, crying:

"Hearken to Shilo"-"Hear Mush"-"Lo! Kynash"-"The voice of Sho"-"Mynarthitep is angry"-"Hear the word of Slig!"

And far away along the road one cried to the traveller that Sheenath stirred in his sleep.

O King this is very doleful. It is told that that traveller came at last to the utter End and there was a mighty gulf, and in the darkness at the bottom of the gulf one small god crept, no bigger than a hare, whose voice came crying in the cold:

"I know not."

And beyond the gulf was nought, only the small god crying.

And he that travelled to the End fled backwards for a great distance till he came to temples again, and entering one where a priest cried:

"This is the End," lay down and rested on a couch. There Yush sat silent, carved with an emerald tongue and two great eyes of sapphire, and there many rested and were happy. And an old priest, coming from comforting a child, came over to that traveller who had seen the End and said to him:

"This is Yush and this is the End of wisdom."

And the traveller answered:

"Yush is very peaceful and this indeed the End."

"O King, wouldst thou hear more?"

And the King said:

"I would hear all."

And the master prophet answered:

"There was also another prophet and his name was Shaun, who had such reverence for the gods of Old that he became able to discern their forms by starlight as they strode, unseen by others, among men. Each night did Shaun discern the forms of the gods and every day he taught concerning them, till men in Averon knew how the gods appeared all grey against the mountains, and how Rhoog was higher than Mount Scagadon, and how Skun was smaller, and how Asgool leaned forward as he strode, and how Trodath peered about him with small eyes. But one night as Shaun watched the gods of Old by starlight, he faintly discerned some other gods that sat far up the slopes of the mountains in the stillness behind the gods of Old. And the next day he hurled his robe away that he wore as Averon's prophet and said to his people:

"There be gods greater than the gods of Old, three gods seen faintly on the hills by starlight looking on Averon."

And Shaun set out and travelled many days and many people followed him. And every night he saw more clearly the shapes of the three new gods who sat silent when the gods of Old were striding among men. On the higher slopes of the mountain Shaun stopped with all his people, and there they built a city and worshipped the gods, whom only Shaun could see, seated above them on the mountain. And Shaun taught how the gods were like grey streaks of light seen before dawn, and how the god on the right pointed upward toward the sky, and how the god on the left pointed downward toward the ground, but the god in the middle slept.

And in the city Shaun's followers built three temples. The one on the right was a temple for the young, and the one on the left a temple for the old, and the third was a temple for the old, and the third was a temple with doors closed and barred—therein none ever entered. One night as Shaun watched before the three gods sitting like pale light against the mountain, he saw on the mountain's summit two gods that spake together and pointed, mocking the gods of the hill, only he heard no sound. The next day Shaun set out and a few followed him to climb to the mountain's summit in the cold, to find the gods who were so great that they mocked at the silent three. And near the two gods they halted and built for themselves huts. Also they built a temple wherein the Two were carved by the hand of Shaun with their heads turned towards each other, with mockery on Their faces and Their fingers pointing, and beneath Them were carved the three gods of the hill as actors making sport. None remembered now Asgool, Trodath, Skun, and Rhoog, the gods of Old.

For many years Shaun and his few followers lived in their huts upon the mountain's summit worshipping gods that mocked, and every night Shaun saw the two gods by starlight as they laughed to one another in the silence. And Shaun grew old.

One night as his eyes were turned towards the Two, he saw across the mountains in the distance a great god seated in the plain and looming enormous to the sky, who looked with angry eyes towards the Two as they sat and mocked. Then said Shaun to his people, the few that had followed him thither:

"Alas that we may not rest, but beyond us in the plain sitteth the one true god and he is wroth with mocking. Let us therefore leave these two that sit and mock and let us find the truth in the worship of that greater god, who even though he kill shall yet not mock us."

But the people answered:

"Thou hast taken from us many gods and taught us now to worship gods that mock, and if there is laughter on their faces as we die, lo! thou alone canst see it, and we would rest."

But three men who had grown old with following followed still.

And down the steep mountain on the further side Shaun led them, saying:

"Now we shall surely know."

And the three old men answered:

"We shall know indeed, O last of all the prophets."

That night the two gods mocking at their worshippers mocked not at Shaun nor his three followers, who coming to the plain still travelled on till they came at last to a place where the eyes of Shaun at night could closely see the vast form of their god. And beyond them as far as the sky there lay a marsh. There they rested, building such shelters as they could, and said to one another:

"This is the End, for Shaun discerneth that there are no more gods, and before us lieth the marsh and old age hath come upon us."

And since they could not labour to build a temple, Shaun carved upon a rock all that he saw by starlight of the great god of the plain; so that if ever others forsook the gods of Old because they saw beyond them the Greater Three, and should thence come to knowledge of the Twain that mocked, and should yet persevere in wisdom till they saw by starlight him whom Shaun named the Ultimate god, they should still find there upon the rock what one had written concerning the end of search. For three years Shaun carved upon the rock, and rising one night from carving, saying:

"Now is my labour done," saw in the distance four greater gods beyond the Ultimate god. Proudly in the distance beyond the marsh these gods were tramping together, taking no heed of the god upon the plain. Then said Shaun to his three followers:

"Alas that we know not yet, for there be gods beyond the marsh."

None would follow Shaun, for they said that old age must end all quests, and that they would rather wait there in the plain for Death than that he should pursue them across the marsh.

Then Shaun said farewell to his followers, saying:

"You have followed me well since ever we forsook the gods of Old to worship greater gods. Farewell. It may be that your prayers at evening shall avail when you pray to the god of the plain, but I must go onward, for there be gods beyond."

So Shaun went down into the marsh, and for three days struggled through it, and on the third night saw the four gods not very far away, yet could not discern Their faces. All the next day Shaun toiled on to see Their faces by starlight, but ere the night came up or one star shone, at set of sun, Shaun fell down before the feet of his four gods. The stars came out, and the faces of the four shone bright and clear, but Shaun saw them not, for the labour of toiling and seeing was over for Shaun; and lo! They were Asgool, Trodath, Skun, and Rhoog—The gods of Old.

Then said the King:

"It is well that the sorrow of search cometh only to the wise, for the wise are very few."

Also the King said:

"Tell me this thing, O prophet. Who are the true gods?"

The master prophet answered:

"Let the King command."

Like it's lower production values but it makes more sense

If they were really in charge the world wouldn't be as fucked up as it is now

"BOB" Dobbs went into the desert and fasted for forty days. He ate nothing during those days, but all of his drinks were comped. At the end of the forty days the devil came and tempted him, saying, "If you are truly the world's luckiest man, command these cherries to become sevens"...

I'm not sure what happens next

I happened across this segment which touches on several of our more bizarre running gags. Also the show is hilarious; like The Magic Schoolbus on angel dust. Be sure to also check out episode 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nKM1bVrQ9s for the history of self-experimentation and episode 8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPwZ4Q588XM for history's most outrageous scams

For example, an early SNL episode had a joke about 3-bladed razors and now those are a thing. Is there a word for that?

It's not Poe's Law, because that's satire being mistaken for reality, and it's not Building The Torment Nexus because that's dystopian fiction becoming reality, but both are close. Is there a word or phrase that hits it exactly?

I just found it funny that the language she used was so similar to some of the lines in Arise and The Book of the SubGenius, with the minor difference that she said a different truck stop chain