u/TomBradyisaphony

Can't stop thinking about girl I liked in high school

I finished High School in Minnesota like 6 years ago. I'm so angry with myself that she was really popular and probably still is and I'm the complete opposite. It's not fair. I'm also annoyed that I'm constantly reminded of this because she works at the building next to mine. Why do I care it was forever ago why can't I move on?

It's one thing if you don't like or don't play Frisbee but people for whatever reason

1. Don't consider it a "real" sport

2. Think it's for dorks or nerds or whatever

3. Think it's soft or stupid or whatever

Why?

People will analyze and watch hours of film on a Cardinals Jets preseason game like it's like it's the D-Day invasion. I don't need stats that tell me what Trey McBride did against cover 3 on third down. I can watch a game in my basement and say "Trey McBride is really good at football"

Also how many times do we have to hear about a football teams culture/brotherhood/togetherness and ability to fight through adversity or take things one day at a time? You don't hear this jargon in other sports.

Take your all 22 camera and your "football teaches you life lessons" gospel and shove it up your ass

Also: nothing makes me roll my eyes more when I hear "faith/family/football". Imagine if someone said the three most important things in life are beer/bros/baseball

People will analyze and watch hours of film on a Cardinals Jets preseason game like it's like it's the D-Day invasion. I don't need stats that tell me what Trey McBride did against cover 3 on third down. I can watch a game in my basement and say "Trey McBride is really good at football"

Also how many times do we have to hear about a football teams culture/brotherhood/togetherness and ability to fight through adversity or take things one day at a time? You don't hear this jargon in other sports.

Take your all 22 camera and your "football teaches you life lessons" gospel and shove it up your ass

Also: nothing makes me roll my eyes more when I hear "faith/family/football". Imagine if someone said the three most important things in life are beer/bros/baseball

​

​

Oh look at me I'm so cool and tough I'm on the football team I'll be popular it will look good on my college resume and did I mention how tough I am? MORON. And spare me all the deep about how football teaches you "life lessons" or how to "be apart of a team". You can learn all that shit without getting exposed to CTE. IDIOTS

​

Oh look at me I'm so cool and tough I'm on the football team I'll be popular it will look good on my college resume and did I mention how tough I am? MORON. And spare me all the deep about how football teaches you "life lessons" or how to "be apart of a team". You can learn all that shit without getting exposed to CTE. IDIOTS

I walked into Hooters with a plan

I saw dozens of televisions broadcasting all the games while everyone sat transfixed by grown men throwing a ball around.

I calmly walked behind the counter and switched every TV off.

The room fell silent.

“Gentlemen,” I announced, “perhaps tonight we should focus on something more important: ending racism.”

A few guys immediately objected.

“Dude, turn the game back on!”

“You can’t just shut off football!”

I stood there, completely unbothered.

“You’re right,” I said. “I can’t end racism by myself. But I can start by asking why you care more about a third-down conversion than human dignity.”

The room went quiet.

One guy stood up and tried to intimidate me. I simply looked him in the eye and delivered an absolutely devastating combination of calm eye contact, moral confidence, and unnecessarily elaborate hand gestures.

I had out-alpha-maled him.

Then somebody started clapping.

Another person joined.

Within seconds, the entire restaurant erupted into applause.

Several women approached me afterward, apparently impressed by my sudden transformation into the world's most socially conscious action hero. They invited me to smoke and have sex with them.

I politely declined.

“No, thank you,” I said. “Those are not mature activities.”

Then I walked out into the night, leaving the televisions dark and the football fans contemplating the deeper questions of existence.

I never found out who won all the games.

But I have bigger fish to fry

Outside of celebrities, if you follow someone on social media that doesn't follow you back, you are a cuck/tool/puppet

I've never understood why people will follow people they know in real life on Instagram who don't follow them back. Do you have any self respect? Why are you following someone who wouldn't follow you back? Like why are you following someone who you went to high school with that clearly doesn't care about you.

I'm talking about people you know in real life. It's perfectly normal to follow an athlete or after you like bc you admire their work and it wouldn't make sense for them to follow you.