u/Top_Reflection_2904

As of this year, I’m 38, and I think I still look pretty good for my age. I take care of myself, I’m educated, established, and generally have my life together.

Over the past year or so, I’ve had about three casual hookups/week-to-week flings with guys in their early to mid-20s. One was a successful computer engineer who basically ghosted me after we slept together. The other two were actually really nice to me, didn’t ghost me initially, and we saw each other multiple times. But all of them eventually disappeared around the third week.

The thing is, I don’t necessarily want to date these guys either. Obviously, there can be pretty significant financial and life-stage differences between a 38-year-old and someone in their early 20s, and I’m realistic about that. But I do enjoy their company and would be perfectly happy to stay in touch, keep seeing each other casually, or just maintain some kind of friendship.

Instead, it seems like once we hit around week three, they just completely disappear.

So I’m wondering: is this simply a life-stage/age-gap thing?

I’m obviously in a very different place in life than someone in their early 20s. I’m established, more educated than these guys, financially independent, etc., while they’re still figuring out what they want out of life.

I’m not expecting a 22-year-old to want to settle down with a 38-year-old. I’m just curious why even the casual situations seem to have such a short shelf life.

Is this just what happens when you’re dating/hooking up with guys that much younger, or am I doing something that causes them to lose interest after a few weeks?

anyone got. secondary or revision midface endoscopic lift?

Amplify Science is one of the worst science curricula I've ever used — and I don't understand why NYC keeps using it

I taught science for two years in NYC public schools — one year in Manhattan and one in the Bronx — and I came away convinced that Amplify Science is one of the biggest reasons science is so difficult to teach well in NYC.

Time and time again, I watched science teachers leave after a year or two. I also saw teachers who were technically “using Amplify” but were really just using their own materials because the curriculum was so cumbersome and difficult to work with.

My biggest problem with Amplify is that it seems to take the science out of science.

The lessons are extremely long and often don't fit naturally into a 45-minute class period. Instead of doing an actual science lab or experiment, students are frequently completing a small task, reading extensive amounts of text, working through digital activities, or navigating a Chromebook-based component. At times, it feels less like a science curriculum and more like an ELA curriculum with science vocabulary sprinkled throughout it.

And I really don't understand the obsession with putting so much of it on a screen.

Kids already spend an enormous amount of time looking at screens. Science should be one of the classes where they get to do things: conduct experiments, manipulate materials, make observations, collect data, make predictions, and actually see scientific concepts happen in front of them.

After leaving NYC in 2024, I worked at a school in another state and experienced a completely different approach to science curriculum. The units were straightforward. You had a unit of study, lessons that actually fit into the instructional schedule, established labs that went along with the unit, assessments, and a logical progression from one concept to the next.

And you know what? It was much easier to teach science.

The students actually got to experience science instead of constantly trying to decipher what the curriculum wanted them to do next.

I'm not saying science should be completely devoid of reading, writing, projects, or technology. Obviously those things have a place. But there needs to be a balance. When the curriculum requires hundreds of pages of materials, endless copies, Chromebook activities, apps, readings, and complicated project-based tasks just to teach a basic science concept, something has gone seriously wrong.

Honestly, I would love to see NYC move toward something much simpler:

• 6–7 solid lessons per unit
• Clear, straightforward instructional materials
• 2–3 actual labs/experiments per unit
• A quiz and/or assessment
• Opportunities for students to work with physical materials
• Less screen time
• Less unnecessary paperwork and curriculum navigation
• More time actually learning and doing science

Science doesn't have to be this complicated.

I genuinely believe there are teachers who could be much more successful — and students who could enjoy science much more — if they weren't fighting the curriculum every single day.

I left NYC schools in 2024, so maybe things have changed since then, but I'm curious: For those of you currently teaching science in NYC, are you still using Amplify? What has your experience been?

And if you've moved from NYC to another district/state, did you notice the same thing I did — that science curriculum can actually be much more straightforward and enjoyable to teach?

Amplify Science is one of the worst science curricula I've ever used — and I don't understand why NYC keeps using it

I taught science for two years in NYC public schools — one year in Manhattan and one in the Bronx — and I came away convinced that Amplify Science is one of the biggest reasons science is so difficult to teach well in NYC.

Time and time again, I watched science teachers leave after a year or two. I also saw teachers who were technically “using Amplify” but were really just using their own materials because the curriculum was so cumbersome and difficult to work with.

My biggest problem with Amplify is that it seems to take the science out of science.

The lessons are extremely long and often don't fit naturally into a 45-minute class period. Instead of doing an actual science lab or experiment, students are frequently completing a small task, reading extensive amounts of text, working through digital activities, or navigating a Chromebook-based component. At times, it feels less like a science curriculum and more like an ELA curriculum with science vocabulary sprinkled throughout it.

And I really don't understand the obsession with putting so much of it on a screen.

Kids already spend an enormous amount of time looking at screens. Science should be one of the classes where they get to do things: conduct experiments, manipulate materials, make observations, collect data, make predictions, and actually see scientific concepts happen in front of them.

After leaving NYC in 2024, I worked at a school in another state and experienced a completely different approach to science curriculum. The units were straightforward. You had a unit of study, lessons that actually fit into the instructional schedule, established labs that went along with the unit, assessments, and a logical progression from one concept to the next.

And you know what? It was much easier to teach science.

The students actually got to experience science instead of constantly trying to decipher what the curriculum wanted them to do next.

I'm not saying science should be completely devoid of reading, writing, projects, or technology. Obviously those things have a place. But there needs to be a balance. When the curriculum requires hundreds of pages of materials, endless copies, Chromebook activities, apps, readings, and complicated project-based tasks just to teach a basic science concept, something has gone seriously wrong.

Honestly, I would love to see NYC move toward something much simpler:

• 6–7 solid lessons per unit
• Clear, straightforward instructional materials
• 2–3 actual labs/experiments per unit
• A quiz and/or assessment
• Opportunities for students to work with physical materials
• Less screen time
• Less unnecessary paperwork and curriculum navigation
• More time actually learning and doing science

Science doesn't have to be this complicated.

I genuinely believe there are teachers who could be much more successful — and students who could enjoy science much more — if they weren't fighting the curriculum every single day.

I left NYC schools in 2024, so maybe things have changed since then, but I'm curious: For those of you currently teaching science in NYC, are you still using Amplify? What has your experience been?

And if you've moved from NYC to another district/state, did you notice the same thing I did — that science curriculum can actually be much more straightforward and enjoyable to teach?

It kind of dawned on me recently: I used to get so mad at guys for ghosting me.

Whenever it happened, my mind immediately went to the worst-case scenarios about me or them. I’d tell myself, "Maybe I’m not worth dating," or assume they were being misogynistic, ageist, or just plain mean. I was genuinely angry because it felt like a direct statement on my value as a person.

But looking at it more objectively, I've started to realize... it’s usually just about what they want and their own inability to commit. A lot of times, these guys are just looking for something casual or driven by short-term physical interest. When they realize you're looking for something real, or when they don't get immediate gratification, they vanish because they don’t have the maturity to just say that. They're just hoping you'll go along with what they want, and when you don't, they move on.

It made me ask myself: Is it really worth getting angry at someone who is just showing you they lack maturity and commitment?

I feel like I was taking it way too personally. Being ghosted says everything about their mindset and nothing about my worth as a partner.

Has anyone else gone through this realization? Did shifting your focus away from "What's wrong with me?" to "They just aren't looking for a real connection" help you stop taking it so hard?

So, I’m in my late 30s (still look pretty good if I do say so myself) and recently matched with a 24-year-old guy who works as a lifeguard.

Right off the bat, he tells me he’s really into older women, but follows it up with, "Don't tell anyone, my friends make fun of me for it." Red flag #1, but I’m laughing in my head because... who cares what your friends think?

He invites me over to his place around 2:00 PM, but hits me with the caveat: We can't really walk around outside because I don't want people to see us together. At this point, I’m just curious to see how this plays out. He's cute, I’m human, and I had urges, so I figured, why not?

I drive over to his place. When he sees me, he looks visibly relieved that I’m actually attractive, gives me a big hug, and says, "Let's go look at the waves at the beach." We do a quick beach run, then head back to his apartment.

Y'all, his apartment was immaculate. Almost OCD levels of clean for a 24-year-old guy—the bed was literally made like a hotel bed.

We start making out and heavy petting, but then the rules start coming out:

1. He says we have to wait to actually have sex.
2. He explicitly tells me he "doesn't go down on women"... but fully expects me to go down on him. 🙄

After our "hookup" (if you can even call it that), I head home. Almost immediately, he texts me: "That was fun. We should hang out again." I reply that I'm down, and I even send him a cute, low-key dirty picture in my bra. His response? "Wow, you're so hot. I love your body."

...And then total silence. Ghosted for three days and counting. 👻

I get that he’s 24 and clearly figuring himself out (or dealing with some serious insecurities), but I just can't believe how bizarre the whole experience was. I’m not even mad, honestly—it’s just too funny not to share.

Has anyone else dealt with someone who claimed to be super into you, only to act like you're a top-secret classified operation?

Edit: we managed to text a bit this morning, I kind of chewed his head off a bit and he apologized. We went our seperate ways, so technically it was a soft ghosting.

Hello is SAI math class led by a sped teacher like a modified math class? Is it like 7th grade math but modified?

I am confused between SAI and intervention. Any SAI teachers please give me your insight, tips, feedback.

A few weeks I matched with a younger guy on tinder who explicitly joked about wanting s3x only. For some reason, I kind of just kept chatting with him because I thought he was cute and he just kept the convo going. Honestly I am not one to act like a total wh0re, but somehow I got reeled in. Anyway, we end up meeting up. I am like 10 years older than him. HE WAS INTENSE. He was putting his hand on my leg, telling me i was hot, trying to kiss me, spent like $700 on a hotel room for us, bought me dinner, and then ended up having sex with me multiple times that night. It was kind of like really crazy, even for me. Anyway, afterwards he totally did not follow up but kept watching my IG stories (like the first one). Safe to say, I got extremely annoyed and blocked him. I tried to text him but he legit never responded. It's like he disappeared forever. Did he ever even like me? How can someone be so intense and then just... poof.. disappear like that.. I felt his energy during the time we spent and afterwards, and even now.

hello what is it like working as a Ed specialist SPED Middle School teacher? I am coming from Philly and AZ where we basically have 1-3 self contained classes and then push in or co-teach in some other classes.

just curious what is it like in CA public schools? Also do we get 1 or 2 off periods a day? thanks

I (30sF) met a guy (26M) from Tinder. The date honestly felt like something out of a movie. we had dinner, talked, laughed, and the chemistry was very intense. We even swam in the ocean during the swells. He wanted to get a hotel near the beach (yes he had money and was wealthy) and got a cute cottage room. We ended up having sex multiple times that night (5 times), and he was very affectionate. Sorry if that is TMI. He talked about future things like me visiting him in Vegas (where he has a family vacation home), was attentive, and made it seem like he was genuinely interested.

Then after I left Saturday morning.He dropped me off near my car up the road from the beach… silence.

No “got home safe,” no check-in, nothing. He was still watching my stories quickly, but he did not actually reach out. It was clear I was being kind of ghosted and I removed him from my followers after three days and sent a cheeky message, hoping he would reply and that would give me some clarity.

I’m confused because his actions that night felt like someone who was really into me. I understand casual hookups happen, but why put in so much effort (planning, hotel, affection, talking about seeing each other again) if you’re just going to disappear afterward? He said I was hot and he couldnt help himself.

Do you think he was caught up in the moment and changed his mind? Was the age gap a factor? Or is this just a case of someone enjoying the experience and not having the maturity to communicate afterward?

Trying to move on and not take it personally, but I’m curious how others would interpret this. I told him it was messed up and he still has not responded. I blocked him on IG.

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share my story. I am a native CA but I moved to Boston after college to get my masters to teach and I worked in Boston and AZ for 10 years. I recently came back home and I got my CA credential but ofc no CLAD. I still applied and went on like 20 interviews. Towards the end, I started requesting zoom interviews bc I picked a part time job at a store. After 2 1/2 months of interviewing, I finally got an offer. You really have to say the right things. I suggest practicing with Ai. Alot of questions on how to deal with parents. Anyway, good luck.

Now that I'm back teaching in a state with a more normal schedule, it's really hitting me how insane my workday in Texas was.

My current schedule is around 8:00–3:00 (sometimes 2:40), and I actually have time to be a human being after work.

In Texas, my contract day was 8:00–4:00. THE ENTIRE DAY. And during that time we got one prep/conference period and a tiny 25-minute lunch. Half the time that lunch wasn't even really a lunch because there was a meeting, paperwork or some other thing that needed to get done.

Looking back, it feels like the expectation was that teaching should consume your entire day and leave you completely exhausted by the end of it. Give us your whole day, your energy, your evenings, your weekends, and in return we'll pay you less than a lot of other states and provide fewer protections.

I'm not saying every Texas district is identical, but after getting out, I realized how much of my life I was handing over to a job that wasn't exactly giving much back. Teaching should not feel like a corporate job, and if it does they should pay just as good as corporate, lol!

Did anyone else leave Texas (or another state) and suddenly realize just how different teaching could be elsewhere?

*cue the maga outrage in the comment*gAsP!! someone doesn't want to spent their whole day in a classroom exhausted ~!@

I was just curious: does anyone have stories of their admin actually supporting them as a teacher?

I worked in a school district around Austin (won't say which one, lol), and I honestly cannot think of a single instance where I felt supported by administration. They were always ready to criticize, investigate, write me up, interrogate me, or question my decisions—but I never saw that same energy when it came to defending or supporting teachers. Funny story: I even had a problem once in a classroom and I kid you not, my supervisor told me I am on my own to handle it. Like not even a suggestion?

One of the biggest reasons I left was because I felt like admin viewed teachers as liabilities rather than professionals. I get that admin aren't supposed to be our friends, but shouldn't they at least have our backs sometimes? I think it has to do with the culture in Texas. Like the idea of "community" is not there.

I'm especially curious about situations involving unreasonable parents or seriously disruptive students. Have any of you had administrators who actually stood up for you, enforced consequences, or backed your professional judgment?

Or is what I experienced pretty common, especially in Texas? It seems like admin are more worried about their own evaluations and need to show their "performative supervising."

I'd love to hear some stories—good or bad.

Hey everyone, just want to give a warning - do not work at PS217 roosevelt island. it's a very unsupportive enviroment, toxic, bullying from staff and students - kids are not held accountable. so much toxic gossip and dismissiveness towards new folks. also massive turn over in the past few years in some grade bands = bad sign. i can only say this bc after i left and worked elsewhere i actually got to experience good admin and students held accountable. when i worked at 217 students harrassed and bullied me, admin could care less. it is also well known that admin will push teachers out that they don't like. they also spent alot of money on outside coaches and it makes no difference on student learning.... was just a horrible, callous experience. the things the admin did were backhanded and honestly, evil. the union rep is utterly mute and useless. please do not work there if you want to keep your sanity or job.

Okay, so I occasionally come on this page but I left Texas (thankfully) and moved to a blue state to teach. Sometimes I will read posts about teachers who were like me - left their blue union state - to teach in Texas and it makes me terrified for you! Don't do it. Just don't. This is not to bash Texas, it's affordable and people are nice, but Texas is probably (along with florida) one of the worst states to be a public school teacher. I probably will get some maga backlash in the comments, but going from a blue union state that actually supports public education to texas is like night and day. I highly advise against it. I had never heard of "state take overs" or bible classes in public school or banned book lists until i moved to texas, and thats the just the tip of the iceberg.

Sorry I just wanted to send a message of caution. And yes, I know I have privilege to be able to leave. If you are free to move out of texas and get certified in another state that supports teachers, do it.

I am from out of state but I got my CA SPED credential and I am also living in CA as of now permanently. I am getting called into interviews with schools and they just seem so... "performative" and a waste because 99% of the time they already have their chosen internal candidate picked and I am just paperwork. I am highly qualified and have excellent teaching background but I keep being passed up. I am just tired of going into these interviews knowing that the panel is doing this to fufill their requirments in order to hire their friend or whoever they already know. Yes I sound pessimistic just annoyed with the rejection emails, wasted gas, wasted time.

Ps - I go into the interviews looking nice, clean, happy, and I say everything right. I have even been told "the panel like you alot BUT we are not going to pick you." So yeah, over it!

Got rated proficient/accomplished, students in my class crushed STAAR, and now my district is refusing to give me my TIA money because I’m resigning. Is that fair? Is that normal across districts? Why hold onto money that I deserve.

i had a nose job in Feb 2025 in turkey, it was mainly tip plasty to make it more refinded and i have thick skin. the doctor told me by year 2 my nose will continue to shrink and get more definiton. is that true? my nose looks better after 1 year but i want it smaller more barbie.

So I applied and clicked mild mod, but i thought i would get to also teach mod sev just in case. i am so confused by this whole process, CA is especially confusing. anyway i have 9 years teaching life skills and 3 years teaching mild inclusion students. i also have a masters in sped. how do i go about getting dual authorization in MM and Mod Sev?