u/ToughDependent7591

Hello everyone.

I've posted on here and JNMIL almost 2 years ago about my situation, and although things with my inlaws are somewhat stable now, I'm still having some trouble.

My MIL always has to have her way, and when it comes to my son, who is 20 months old, she wants to "spoil" him. I'm fine with his little gifts, and letting him have a little treat every once in a while, but they see him 2-3 times a week, and this week was exhausting they wanted to see my son every single day this week, my MIL doesn't have a job and doesn't have hobbies so she makes being a grandma her entire personality now. I told my husband that I need a break from seeing his family all week and he agrees.

Give a little grace and this is what MIL does. Oversteps boundaries again.

To get on with the post itself, MIL doesn't really babysit our son without one of us there. She has only "watched" him for us for 30-40 mins 2 times in his entire life since we had something urgent to take care of. She wants to babysit and keeps demanding to, but when she does, my sisters in law tend to take over the actual responsibility of watching him since MILs health is meh. She gets very obviously jealous when I visit my parents with my son, and constantly seems to be in competition to be the favorite grandma. Lately in laws have been slipping and calling her "mama" when speaking to my toddler...example "go with mama" , "go tell your mama". I correct it when I can.

MIL also has a bad habit of letting my son do whatever he wants with no boundaries. She let's him climb tables, grabs him and puts him on their dressers, bed with shoes on, slapping and hitting the dogs, etc. Usually when I'm not in the room, or she takes him to another room and let's him do these things, then I have to follow and do my best to correct while she stares blankly or laughs while son does these things. She thinks it's just hilarious and cute. Now I'm having major issues with son doing this at our own home, he constantly climbs the table, tries to get up on our dresser, bookshelves, etc. Smacks our outdoor cat and terrorizes her, which results in me having to be quite strict at home with him. I feel bad that I constantly have to say no, constantly have to bring him inside when he so much at throws something in the cats direction. This has been going on since he was 9 months old, my in laws would laugh and laugh when son would smack me or husband.

And MIL just laughs and says "he's such a bad boy, he loves trouble".

I'm exhausted and don't want to cause issues with my inlaws again, but I'm done with her bad influence. It's just MIL. Father in law and sisters in law all try their best to reinforce boundaries with my son, but I'm afraid if he continues to be around her multiple times a week these behaviors will take forever to correct. I know these are normal toddler behaviors, but the frequency is what concerns me, and the fact that MIL constantly reinforces the behavior by laughing, egging him on, and saying how cute and playful he is.

I'm already thinking about spending less time over at inlaws and not letting them have my toddler alone until he is older and I can have a conversation with my SIL about setting boundaries with him so he won't be too hard to handle.

My husband just sits on his phone when he's visiting with in laws and has my son over there, so he doesn't even pay attention, which is why I started going as well, because I realized when son would get back home from visiting them he was always extra rowdy.

Hello everyone.

I just want to start by giving a bit of context. My son from the time he was born was not an "easy" baby. He would stay up for hours and hours even as a newborn. He ended up being diagnosed with reflux at 4 months old and had to take pepcid until 10 months old. He has always fought naps, but it seems to be getting worse with age. We give him natural teething remedy when needed, but I don't think it's just his teeth (since he has almost all teeth now). He only naps when he has a breast, he never took a pacifier despite trying so many different kinds. He's been exclusively breastfed from the very start.

I have been wanting to stop nursing for a while now since it's affecting my mental health now, as I get very easily overstimulated. I made it well past my original goal of 12 months, and I don't know how to fully wean him. I stopped offering in the daytime aside from his naptime (he has 1 nap a day for about 1.5 hours sometimes less) since it's the only way he will nap. Even if he falls asleep from rocking, he expects a breast once transferred to his bed. Same at night. I worry his sleep will drastically suffer if I wean him, and I don't think he's ready to drop his naps yet, he is still little and gets really angry and cranky when he skips naps.

Any solutions are welcome, I really need help making this transition as smooth as possible, I'm scared that he will stop sleeping and it will completely dysregulate him. I'm scared that I will take away his only source of comfort. :-(

My son is almost 20 months old now and he has suddenly become quite tantrum-prone. He has always been very aware and sharp, but now he will get angry at anything that doesn't go his way which I understand is very normal :-)

My mom is having a hard time having me and my son over 1 or 2 days a week when we visit since he basically "tears the house apart". I do my best to make sure he doesn't break anything, but I also try to relax a bit when I'm visiting since I parent my son alone all week while my husband works. Usually this would be fine, but lately my mom seems really frustrated when we come over. She does work at a call center and so we usually come over on one or two of her days off, but now I'm questioning if we should. I miss my family dearly, I got pregnant young and so I always love coming back home since I feel I left the nest too soon.

I'm just at a loss for how to feel, I'm sad and wish she would enjoy having us over more, but I know she is just stressed and has forgotten how crazy toddlers are.

My dad still enjoys having us over but he's always busy doing things for the house, yardwork, fixing cars etc.

I just hope things get better again.