u/ToughDependent7591

I know this might sound like a really silly question, but with my first I had really bad PP Anxiety and I mostly stayed indoors / in my backyard and didn't go much of anywhere for the first few months. I didn't have any animals indoors relying on me to take them on walks or feed them, and my son had horrible reflux so I genuinely sat down for most of the days and had him sleeping on my chest since it was the only way he would sleep. I gained a lot of weight during that time and 23 months later I'm still 20 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight but I recently lost about 10 pounds and have kept it off. I'm working on weaning my son at the moment and thinking about trying for baby #2 because I don't want to lose all the weight and then have another. I'd rather just continue to work out to stay healthy/fit and wait until 2nd time postpartum to really try slowly but surely losing the weight.

I also am so much more educated on diet/nutrients for milk supply and I've become much better at tracking what I'm eating and making sure I'm consuming healthy instead of empty calories. I think I also was just completely blindsided about how hard having a baby would be, and I feel so much more confident this second time around. I also want to note that despite being 20 lbs over my prepregnancy weight, I still can do everything I used to, I still lift weights, I still run around and chase my son, I ride the bike with my son every single day since he has his own bike attachment on my bike:-) we garden, we do so much physical activity. My body is still very healthy and active, it just looks very different from how it used to.

I guess I just want to hear everyone's experiences. I've heard some say they actually felt in-shape/fit faster the second time around because they were chasing a toddler and keeping up with them, as well as having to do all the other mom things that were taken more slowly with just 1. What is everyone's experience?

Obviously I know after 2 children I probably won't ever be the same weight as pre-pregnant me, but I would like to know if anyone has had luck with developing better body image and getting fit again after baby 2 despite their setbacks with baby 1.

Thank you in advance 🙂

Anyone else have a problem with their inlaws or parents constantly giving their toddlers sweets before even offering a full meal first? My toddler hasn't grown for what feels like months and months. He has hardly gone up in weight despite me trying my best to make him homemade foods and bake healthy muffins and smoothies with banana and peanut butter, but every single time my son goes to my inlaws (his grandparents) they give him nothing but sweets after I ask repeatedly not to. I always tell them to pls offer food first. Usually I'm there during the visits, but lately I've been letting husband take him by himself and he comes back overloaded with sugar and refuses to eat any REAL food :-( I'm concerned that my son will continue to prefer sweets since he already has started to refuse a lot of savory foods.

He sees them anywhere from 2-4 times a week since they live just down the street. I understand they want to spoil him, but this just doesn't feel like the right way to do it, and its making my life harder. My parents were doing the same but after explaining to them the consequences of him no longer wanting food and expecting sweets and both grandparents house (who he sees each at least twice a week), this means that for at least 4 days out of the week he's learning that its okay to say no to food because grandparents will give him sweets.

Idk what to do at this point, other than no longer let my husband take son to see grandparents and just have them visit us. I have many more problems with my inlaws but I won't list them here.

I'm just concerned that my toddler who isn't even 2 yet is eating way too much sugar, more than I myself eat and everyone is treating me like I'm crazy for being concerned.

Hi everyone. I'm a first time sahm to a 23 month old. I have autism + ADHD, and I'm currently managing it through therapy and testing out some medication. My best friend is also autistic and we get along super well. She doesn't want any kids and I'm very understanding and supportive of that. She's about 5 years older than myself.

I've noticed that since mentioning I want to try for my 2nd and last kid soon she has a lot of comments and suggestions all which I'm open to hearing but I also feel some judgement. I don't think she means it this way, but I feel sad. I think she's worried I will be overwhelmed since she sometimes is witness to the hard days. But she also doesn't always see the good and great days. So perhaps she doesn't have enough perspective to understand my decision. Today, my son was refusing to nap (as he has been doing for thr past 2 weeks since his molars are coming in) and she said "and you want to have another one in a couple months??" And I sort of stayed quiet. I know she's just trying to be a voice of reason, but to me, the hard days and hard parts of motherhood don't make it "not worth it" to me. I still enjoy most days of motherhood and I am finding new ways to cope through therapy. And medication is definitely helping me feel like a happier revitalized version of myself.

My friend doesn't understand why I haven't just cold turkey weaned my toddler, and doesn't really care for my gentle parenting / thinks I'm too soft with my toddler. She grew up with a hardcore genX mom who had her very young and her mom definitely has the latchkey kid mentality. All of her other mom friends are not stay at home moms, or frequently leave their kids with the grandparents to go out and drink / have fun and don't really "enjoy" their kids. I on the other hand want to raise my son and possible second kid for the first few years before returning to work and sending them to school. This is a decision I've made on my own, same with gentle parenting and extended breastfeeding. All are foreign concepts to her, and she seems to think because I ocasionally get overstimulated that I don't actually enjoy these things.

I feel like I'm just trying to enjoy motherhood to the best of my abilities and yes I have hard days but I don't yell or hit my kid, nor do I express any disdain towards my son at all. Idk why she believes I'm not truly enjoying it. Of course, as neurodivergent parents we are naturally going to struggle more than our NT counterparts, but at the end of the day I've chosen this life.

She also is more interested in drinking, more so than before. We didn't really drink or do anything like that prior to my son. She also wants to go on outings more which I totally get and I love to go, but I usually need a months heads up to let my mom know, so she can babysit for 2 ish hours. I don't like to leave my son for too long since he's still getting used to being babysat. My mom doesn't babysit too much because she works, but she always tries to help where she can.

We recently went on a birthday outing and accidentally stayed out for 4 hours and I was really missing my son, and she said she didn't think it was long enough, but that we went back home since I was worried about my son. :-(

I just feel very judged and sad because idk how to explain to her that I really am happy/content with my decisions, even if things are tough sometimes. Also my son was recently diagnosed with autism and I've been working on speech therapy with him, so of course things are a little more tense around here, but I'm doing my best and I definitely don't feel like I'm in the "trenches" or anything. Idk what else to say to her other than telling her I am content with things right now and the only thing I would change is my husband helping more.

Hello everyone.

I'm a first time young mom to an almost 2 year old toddler who is also autistic. My husband and I plan on trying for our final child (#2) soon but we were both hit with an ADHD diagnosis (meaning we both have ADHD) and I was diagnosed autistic as a young teen. I've suffered for many years with my mental health (anxiety and ocd), with constant distraction, I've never been able to hold my focus or sit down for long, I'm always developing new hyperfixations that consume me. As a mother, daily life often overwhelms me, not my son himself, I love spending time with him and stimming with him, but I can barely manage our household. I have a hard time cleaning and doing basic chores and keeping a somewhat orderly house (im not talking about just toys I mean truly our home is cluttered and my son breaks and throws just about everything).

I'm still breastfeeding my 22 month old and I'm heavily considering medication to help with everything I've been struggling with for years but part of me thinks I should wait until I'm done breastfeeding. Who knows when that will be, I've been trying to wean my son for so long.

Does anyone have experience taking ADHD medication while breastfeeding or pregnant? Please dont judge my situation, I dont want anyone to think I'm not a good mom, I do my absolute best every single day with my son, but I really feel like medication could help ease so many of my struggles.

Has anyone else noticed this? I understand if you are selling a toy that is relatively new, something you opened and your kid never played with, but I've noticed a trend of parents selling their used children's toys and play structures for outrageous prices.

Recently, I've been on the lookout for an outdoor playset for my son, and I see broken, chipped and sun-damaged plastic slides and playground sets for $100+ one was clearly broken and was still listed for 75 dollars. I just dont understand where these numbers are coming from. I've sold some of my son's brand new outdoor toys, baby tables, etc for 10 dollars or less. I understand wanting to make some money back but I believe asking for anything more than $50 to $60 for an outdoor playset is quite ridiculous. Especially when it has clear sun damage, stains, breaking or chipped plastic or wood, and you are expected to pickup and take it apart.

Am I being unreasonable about price expectations? Perhaps...but for the condition of these items, it just seems crazy to me :-/

House was a complete mess, toys everywhere, kitchen was full of dishes and toddler refused to sleep but my brain says "Ooooo scones sound so good rn" and I decided then and there to make scones. Toddler attempted to help, I let him apply the egg wash to the scones and sprinkle a tad bit of sugar atop. He ended up sprinkling the floor with some sugar too 😅 but in the end, we are both sitting here enjoying a scone with some milk. My toddler keeps going "mmmmmmm" 😁

I also almost forgot about the scones while baking them and they nearly burnt because I decided to water my indoor plants after a few weeks of neglect. But all in all, they turned out just right :-)

I'm honestly just feeling sad and a bit depressed about it.

I'm mid 20s and husband is 30. He stays up each night playing video games despite me reminding him not to stay up too late. We have an almost 2 year old son, I rarely have time to do the things I enjoy, as I take care of the cooking, cleaning, and am always taking care of our son. I'm still breastfeeding and trying to wean my son, and I cosleep with son but my son can sleep by himself for about 4-5 hours of the night, giving husband plenty of time to initiate or at least notice I'm trying to initiate. I generally stay up late (11-12 ish, son sleeps at 9) so I have time for my hobbies, and I often make it known to my husband that I'd like to have sex and that I'd enjoy sex more frequently too. He just doesn't seem to have a libido at all.

I've also been feeling extremely insecure about my breasts lately because of how saggy they are due to breastfeeding/weaning. Husband says he loves my body but then rarely initiates sex. The past 3 times we've been intimate, I initiated.

He's also constantly looking at other women online and irl. They always look completely different than me and he definitely seems to have a "type". I'm a brown woman, with brown eyes, topheavy, and short. He is constantly looking at women with massive hips, taller, white pale skin and colored eyes, and just overall very plus size bottom heavy with perky breasts. It hurts greatly that I'm not his type and I've already expressed all of these concerns and worries to my husband but he just doesn't seem to understand. He reassures me but then continues to look at these women. For valentine's day this year he asked what I wanted and I said "for you to stop looking at other women online and sharing their revealing posts with your friend". He laughed and I told him I was serious.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel so unloved. I've tried to communicate how I'm feeling and I'm doing my best to be understanding of my husband but it's hard and I fear I'm growing resentful especially since he doesn't help much with our son. I still give my husband plenty of attention, I make his favorite treats at home, make him a daily cup of tea in the evenings, serve him food and snacks, pack his lunch for work each day, I make sure to hug and kiss him. I just don't get it :-(

Just frustrated.

My son is 21 months old and was recently diagnosed but to me it's been obvious for a while. I'm autistic and ADHD so I knew that there was a great possibility of any children of mine having either one or both.

I have been hesitant to share his diagnosis with my in laws because I figured it would either be met with skepticism or defensiveness. It went exactly as I figured it would.

My sil said "this young?" And then said his behavior seems like completely normal toddler behavior despite the fact that my inlaws don't babysit or spend any significant amount of time around him, enough to know or recognize his behavior.

People act like autistic toddlers don't exist unless it's super high support needs. My son was diagnosed level 3 but he seems more like level 2. I know him the best since I spend every single day with him, every hour of the day.

I just find it so confusing.

Also, my husbands family has another toddler who behaves similarly and they claim he was evaluated but I really don't think he was. His family claims they were told he is simply "spoiled rotten" and not autistic. Yet they tell me he hits his head on everything, and is 3 years old and doesn't talk.

I'm Mexican and honestly our culture is so frustrating because its like our parents and family refuse to acknowledge these things. They simply think autism = misbehaved or raised incorrectly.

I'm just frustrated. It's taken the better part of a year for me to get my son assessed and they don't believe it.

Hello everyone. My 21 month old was recently diagnosed with Level 2 autism, and I myself am also on the spectrum. From the very beginning he has had sleep trouble, he would constantly fight sleep even as a newborn. He has never slept "through the night" and he still wakes 3-5 times a night. He's still breastfeeding before sleep, but otherwise I don't know what is causing so much trouble for him to sleep.

I have tried everything. Blackout curtains, noise machines, rocking him, bouncing him, chamomile tea, he doesn't like being driven around in the car to sleep so that doesn't work. Stroller walks. Nothing works. He just constantly fights sleep. It's made even worse when my friend comes to visit, he not only refuses to sleep but completely acts out, throws things, smacks and hits, screams, etc. I know that he needs routine, but THIS HAS BEEN OUR ROUTINE SINCE HE WAS BORN. He has known my friend since before he was born. She comes over every week on the same day, at the same time. Same if I go to visit my parents. We visit my parents every week same day same time. He still refuses to sleep there.

I am at my wits end with the sleep troubles, and if he drops this nap, he will be completely overwhelmed and scream his head off. It takes almost 2 hours just to get him to bed. It used to be only 45 mins to an hour, but now its nearly 2. I dread nap time and bedtime because of this. I sing to him, I rock him, dance with him, play his favorite sleep songs but nothing is working.

I've been cosleeping with him because I can't keep getting up at night, though I will say once he falls asleep at night he stays asleep for a few hours so that's nice, its just the daytime nap that really makes or breaks the day, he clearly needs the nap and will scream and meltdown without it, but fights the nap for hours. I've tried moving the nap earlier or later but nothing works so I'm sticking to keeping his nap at 12:30 pm.

Please suggest anything that has helped. The only thing I can think of is that I do recall when I visited my parents the other day, my son was rocking in a single person hammock with my uncle, and my uncle said he fell right asleep, he brought him to me and my son ACTUALLY fell asleep at my parents house. I'm thinking installing a sensory swing/hammock in my son's room to help ease him into rest.

I'm just so tired and frustrated that nothing is working. I worry that the hammock might not work because the other hammock my parents have is outside, and he may not want to rock inside, but I suppose its worth a try.

Please help, anyone. Or at least commiserate :-(

Hello everyone. I'm a first time mom with autism and I have an almost 2 year old (21 months) who was just diagnosed with level 2 autism.

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I have been wanting to stop breastfeeding for a little while now, especially since it seems to affect my mental health, as well as my temperament overall, and is causing sensory issues (son started fiddling with my nipple recently). I feel much more grumpy than I ever was before breastfeeding, though I'm doing my absolute best not to let it show around my son. My son only breastfeeds before his midday nap, and during the night since we cosleep because he wakes up so much still.

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I am very much following attachment style parenting and doing my best to prevent passing on any trauma from my own childhood. It's hard because I want to stop breastfeeding for my wellbeing and because I know it would help me be in a better mood, but my son clearly isn't ready to stop yet? He has pika and constantly sensory seeks with his mouth, so I think breastfeeding before sleep is especially comforting to him.

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I fear that if I stop breastfeeding him now, he will give up his only nap of the day (he gets VERY TIRED, EXHAUSTED, AND ANGRY with no nap) and his night sleep will suffer. I've tried to offer plushies, rocking, dancing, etc to comfort before bed instead of the breastfeeding, but he still always seeks out boob.

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How do I make this easier on him? I'm so sad and worried that he will cry and cry and be very upset about weaning fully. We already dropped random daytime feeds but he still seems very dependent on feeds before any sleep.

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Hello everyone. I've been drinking yerba mate for about 10 years now. I've had all kinds of gourds and cuias, and I have a decent collection.

I have always wanted a galleta mate so my husband bought me one for mother's day, and the first one came cracked but I cured it anyways and it seemed to help the crack a bit. I plan on buying some food grade wax and applying it to the crack, in hopes it will help.

We requested a replacement for the gourd and the second one came in and they said they cured it for me to prevent cracking. As soon as I went to use it for the first time it cracked down the middle in the same spot like the first gourd. Then it cracked in 2 other places.

My question to all with much more experience than myself, is this common with galleta gourds? Has anyone else had this problem? If so, is it a good idea to use foodgrade wax to mend the crack a bit? The first gourd is still usable.

Also, the website we purchased the gourds from was cushemate

Hello everyone. I'm a young first time Mom in her 20s and I was diagnosed with autism when I was a teen. I was recently given a provisional ADHD diagnosis and will soon receive a clinical ADHD diagnosis, the psychiatrist has informed me that he believes I have comorbid autism + ADHD. I've been observing my son's behavior from the time he was little and he's always been quite different than other babies and toddlers.

Whenever I try to mention to others that I think my son is different they always say oh this is just normal toddler behavior. His pediatrician and the psychiatrists that have met him think otherwise And I don't see a problem With acknowledging that my son is different but others do. My inlaws seem to think my son is normal because "he's so much like his dad" (though my husband admits our son is a lot more like me). My husband is also ADHD, but was undiagnosed until adulthood so I always find it silly when our parents try to say oh your kid is normal you were that way too.

I just wanted to share this somewhere that my 20-month-old will soon be getting an Autism evaluation because it is a little bit nerve-wracking to go through this process when my son is so young but I know this is what's best. I think what I'm worried about is that they may "miss" his autism if he's level 1 like me. I wouldn't want him to have to struggle through his childhood and teen years like I did. The Specialists have assured me that they are very well versed in diagnosing level 1 autism as well as level 2 and 3.

From the time my son was born he's been a "tough" baby. He was never easy to settle, he had really bad reflux. Then he refused to sleep. He never wanted a pacifier and only wanted a breast for comfort. He's never liked toys, but is absolutely fascinated by machines and tools, and will frequently take things apart and try to put them back together. We spend all of our time outside because he will break everything in the house just to understand how it works, and hear the sound it makes when it breaks. I know that a lot of these behaviors are normal for toddlers but the frequency at which he does it is what was a signal for me to bring it up with his pediatrician. He also is obsessed with eating non-food items he not only puts it in his mouth but makes an attempt to chew things that are not food for example: wooden furniture, walls, plastic bottles, metal, etc. Not just your typical kid that puts things in their mouth but he will literally make an attempt to eat it and taste these things. It reminds me of myself when I was a toddler and I loved sucking on loose change because I like the taste of the metal. Especially copper.

I guess I'm just here to ask what everyone else's experiences have been like especially as neurodivergent parents of possible neurodivergent children because I don't know anyone else in my personal life who is a neurodivergent parent to a neurodivergent child. None of the typical parenting advice has ever worked for us.

Everyone seems to think it's much too early to tell if my son has autism or not but I truly believe that early in intervention will be the best course of action. I also want to note that my son still does not "talk", only uses noises to communicate, and says "that" over 100 times a day. I have also enrolled him in speech therapy and the speech therapist recommended I get him evaluated before we continue further so that they can better suit his needs if he does happen to be on the spectrum.

This is more of a vent post, but I'm just at my wits end.

I've been horribly sick for the past 2-3 days and my husband is the one insisting he needs rest since he too is sick (but is recovered aside from a cough and I took care of him/made him tea and other remedies while he was sick, he also got about 3 days of almost straight rest with us only leaving the house to get some groceries for food or electrolyte drinks) I seem to have caught what he had, but worse because I was throwing up the other day while he was at work, and I wanted him to come home early because my son is really hyper and needs constant attention but he said "only an hour left" then he later mentioned his boss offered him to go home early but he said no :-( I also have had a fever on and off for the past 2 days.

I have been having to wake up extra early these past few days because my son has been waking up 2-3 hours earlier than usual. Yesterday he woke up at 4:30 AM and wouldn't go back to sleep. This morning he woke up at 6 AM. Husband was still in bed and asleep by 8 AM, yesterday he slept in until 9 AM. I'm just feeling really frustrated. I know my husband supports us by going to work, but he works as a receptionist and has had plenty of days off this week to help me get some rest and take over with our 20 month old toddler. He just loses his patience so fast and doesn't know how to help. He blames it on his ADHD but I have Autism and ADHD. I always feel on the verge of a meltdown and I'm constantly in sensory overwhelm. I'm also cosleeping and still breastfeeding our toddler to sleep.

It's just really hard. I am so tired and frustrated. The most frustrating part is that I'm 8 years younger than my husband and he doesn't seem to have any patience and he behaves like a guy my age. It's so difficult.

Hello everyone.

I've posted on here and JNMIL almost 2 years ago about my situation, and although things with my inlaws are somewhat stable now, I'm still having some trouble.

My MIL always has to have her way, and when it comes to my son, who is 20 months old, she wants to "spoil" him. I'm fine with his little gifts, and letting him have a little treat every once in a while, but they see him 2-3 times a week, and this week was exhausting they wanted to see my son every single day this week, my MIL doesn't have a job and doesn't have hobbies so she makes being a grandma her entire personality now. I told my husband that I need a break from seeing his family all week and he agrees.

Give a little grace and this is what MIL does. Oversteps boundaries again.

To get on with the post itself, MIL doesn't really babysit our son without one of us there. She has only "watched" him for us for 30-40 mins 2 times in his entire life since we had something urgent to take care of. She wants to babysit and keeps demanding to, but when she does, my sisters in law tend to take over the actual responsibility of watching him since MILs health is meh. She gets very obviously jealous when I visit my parents with my son, and constantly seems to be in competition to be the favorite grandma. Lately in laws have been slipping and calling her "mama" when speaking to my toddler...example "go with mama" , "go tell your mama". I correct it when I can.

MIL also has a bad habit of letting my son do whatever he wants with no boundaries. She let's him climb tables, grabs him and puts him on their dressers, bed with shoes on, slapping and hitting the dogs, etc. Usually when I'm not in the room, or she takes him to another room and let's him do these things, then I have to follow and do my best to correct while she stares blankly or laughs while son does these things. She thinks it's just hilarious and cute. Now I'm having major issues with son doing this at our own home, he constantly climbs the table, tries to get up on our dresser, bookshelves, etc. Smacks our outdoor cat and terrorizes her, which results in me having to be quite strict at home with him. I feel bad that I constantly have to say no, constantly have to bring him inside when he so much at throws something in the cats direction. This has been going on since he was 9 months old, my in laws would laugh and laugh when son would smack me or husband.

And MIL just laughs and says "he's such a bad boy, he loves trouble".

I'm exhausted and don't want to cause issues with my inlaws again, but I'm done with her bad influence. It's just MIL. Father in law and sisters in law all try their best to reinforce boundaries with my son, but I'm afraid if he continues to be around her multiple times a week these behaviors will take forever to correct. I know these are normal toddler behaviors, but the frequency is what concerns me, and the fact that MIL constantly reinforces the behavior by laughing, egging him on, and saying how cute and playful he is.

I'm already thinking about spending less time over at inlaws and not letting them have my toddler alone until he is older and I can have a conversation with my SIL about setting boundaries with him so he won't be too hard to handle.

My husband just sits on his phone when he's visiting with in laws and has my son over there, so he doesn't even pay attention, which is why I started going as well, because I realized when son would get back home from visiting them he was always extra rowdy.

Hello everyone.

I just want to start by giving a bit of context. My son from the time he was born was not an "easy" baby. He would stay up for hours and hours even as a newborn. He ended up being diagnosed with reflux at 4 months old and had to take pepcid until 10 months old. He has always fought naps, but it seems to be getting worse with age. We give him natural teething remedy when needed, but I don't think it's just his teeth (since he has almost all teeth now). He only naps when he has a breast, he never took a pacifier despite trying so many different kinds. He's been exclusively breastfed from the very start.

I have been wanting to stop nursing for a while now since it's affecting my mental health now, as I get very easily overstimulated. I made it well past my original goal of 12 months, and I don't know how to fully wean him. I stopped offering in the daytime aside from his naptime (he has 1 nap a day for about 1.5 hours sometimes less) since it's the only way he will nap. Even if he falls asleep from rocking, he expects a breast once transferred to his bed. Same at night. I worry his sleep will drastically suffer if I wean him, and I don't think he's ready to drop his naps yet, he is still little and gets really angry and cranky when he skips naps.

Any solutions are welcome, I really need help making this transition as smooth as possible, I'm scared that he will stop sleeping and it will completely dysregulate him. I'm scared that I will take away his only source of comfort. :-(

My son is almost 20 months old now and he has suddenly become quite tantrum-prone. He has always been very aware and sharp, but now he will get angry at anything that doesn't go his way which I understand is very normal :-)

My mom is having a hard time having me and my son over 1 or 2 days a week when we visit since he basically "tears the house apart". I do my best to make sure he doesn't break anything, but I also try to relax a bit when I'm visiting since I parent my son alone all week while my husband works. Usually this would be fine, but lately my mom seems really frustrated when we come over. She does work at a call center and so we usually come over on one or two of her days off, but now I'm questioning if we should. I miss my family dearly, I got pregnant young and so I always love coming back home since I feel I left the nest too soon.

I'm just at a loss for how to feel, I'm sad and wish she would enjoy having us over more, but I know she is just stressed and has forgotten how crazy toddlers are.

My dad still enjoys having us over but he's always busy doing things for the house, yardwork, fixing cars etc.

I just hope things get better again.