u/Traditional_Mind6947

My fiancé and I have had a tough year of moving multiple times, work stress, some health issues and family stuff all at the same time. We’ve come out of it with love still in tact, but we’ve barely had sex, maybe 2x per month on average this entire past year.

I just turned 30 and my libido is going crazy. It’s like I crave sex constantly no matter what part of my cycle I’m in. I wish when I walked past he’d admire my curves, feel me, tell me how sexy I look. I’m basically retreating to my spicy romance books for release but it just makes me crave it more.

During our stressful year I gained about 15lbs of weight that increased my bra cup size from a C to a D. My skin and hair are looking healthy and I do my makeup in the way he loves. I’m looking more toned from the gym, and my curves are better than ever. I had a bikini on this morning before the pool and all he said was “cute, ready to go?”

He just doesn’t drool over me like he used to and I’m really missing it. He’s extremely loyal, I think he’s just very stressed. Is there anything I can do? I’m about to start dressing more provocatively if I can’t get his attention.

I've always felt disconnected to my first name, and it's a feeling that has never gotten better in the 30 years I've been alive.

I'm going to make up a name for the sake of anonymity, but the elements will be similar. My name is Alex, full stop. Not Alexis, Alexandra, just Alex. It's been a lifetime of telling people nope, it's not a nickname, Alex is my full name. It feels like the first draft of a name, like it was never fully thought out. I was not a planned child, and my parents were pretty checked out. I don't think they ever wanted to be parents, and my name has always felt like a representation of how they were just "winging it" in their parenting style and my entire childhood. I desperately wished to be an Aurora, a Claire, anything with some oomph to it.

When I asked why they named me Alex, there wasn't ever a clear story. They said things like "oh we didn't want you to have any bad nicknames so we picked a name that was already a nickname" or "it was the name of a distant relative (it's not). I was always jealous of kids who had strong, proud names. I used to sit next to a girl named Savannah, and a boy named Nathaniel. They always seemed so sure of their identities. I never felt that way. All the girls would doodle their names on their notebooks with hearts, and I just never liked my name enough to do that. I also read recently how our names influence our behaviour and sense of self. It also influences how other treat you.

This whole experience has created a weird disassociation between my name and who I feel I truly am. I also have never felt connected to my last name, because it's my dad's. He has Scottish heritage, and he hasn't taught me a single bit about our family on that side. I know nothing of the Scottish history or culture, and it's also a very long last name that is always mispronounced and misspelled. I also don't look stereotypically Scottish so I always get a weird look when people say my name. They sort of pause on my first name, and hesitate on my last name. It's really affected me in a strange but consistent way throughout my life. Any time I'm giving my name over the phone, getting my licence renewed, or introducing myself, it's just always this weird disassociated feeling wherever I go.

As I'm planning my wedding, and a long happy life with my future husband, I see an opportunity to sort of upgrade my birth name. I'm considering expanding to Alexandria, which actually goes well with my fiancé's last name. I'm thinking of giving myself a middle name as well, because spoiler alert, my parents didn't give me one of those either. I have no idea why, they weren't clear about that either. Alexandria feels fuller, more romantic, more representative of who I really am. I read novels, journal, craft, and spend time in nature. It just feels more complete and right to me.

I'm trying to think of how I could spin this story to others, both old friends/family, and new people in my life. I think I could white lie to my fiancé's family and tell them it's always been my full name, as weddings are usually the only time you see someone's full name. And for my family who knows this isn't my full name, if I can get my mom on board with this, I can say that this is what my name was always meant to be, but they messed up at the hospital with my birth certificate, or something.

Anyways, this is a weird rant but I appreciate if you read this far. And if you've had a similar experience I'd love to hear about it. Or if you have any advice for how I could spin this story of my new name without offending people or making it seem like I'm a weirdo for slightly changing my name at 30 years old lol.

I was looking at my journals today and realized they're all the same journal type and size except for one. I have 3 journals that are all the Leuchtturm A5 hardcover, which is my favourite to write in. They're beautiful, sleek, and come with a spine label so I can archive them with the dates of when I start and finished them.

Then I have this one journal that I used for a few months, it's a completely different brand, a Nóta, and it's very chunky, sticks out on the shelf, and doesn't have the spine labeling ability. I was thinking of copying the entries over into the journal previous to it, because I have enough left over pages in that one. I typically finish my journals cover to cover but I was in a funk and bought the new one to brighten my mood. It worked for the time being, but now I wish I just stuck to my original system so they can look nice on the shelf and be more easily accessible.

Has anyone ever copied previous entries from one journal to a new one? Did it feel worth it or was it annoying? lol

Disclaimer: I don’t condone doing this but if you did, it would probably work.

When I was 18 I had my Class 7 N drivers license for the province of British Columbia, Canada. I moved to Alberta for university, and happened to purchase a beater car there to get around easier and in order to do that I had to transfer my license over to an Alberta one.

Their equivalent of the BC Class 7 N drivers license was a “Class 5 GDL” which essentially meant the same thing as my N, that I was a new driver with less than 2 years experience and hadn’t taken the final driver’s exam yet. (I think the GDL meant “graduated learner”)

When I moved back home to BC the next year, I switched my license back, and they said “well I can’t demote your driving class so I have to give you the equivalent, which is Class 5” but in BC, a Class 5 means you’re no longer a new driver, and you have your full license.

I was 18 when this happened and now I’m 30.

Legally I’m allowed to teach others how to drive, despite the fact I never took the final exam, which I’ve heard can be quite difficult to pass. I’m a very safe driver, and I did actually practice for the final test so I don’t feel like skipping the exam has had any consequences for me specifically.

Not a scandalous confession by any means, but I also try not to tell too many people in case I run into someone who works for a licensing office lol.

Does anyone know more about this? Is it just a weird loophole?

My fiancé and I are making our second cross country move, and we saw the opportunity to downsize even further! The first time, we rented a small U-Haul to take things like our comfy bed, my favourite chair, computer desk, extra camp gear, things we genuinely liked but only kept just in case.

This time, we really stripped down to just the clothes we care about, our quality coffee maker, and basic electronics. We sold all our furniture, large appliances, and all the extra just in case items. We feel so light and free! Each time we move it feels like an opportunity to really confront what we truly care about, and now it feels like we really only own our highest quality, most versatile items.

We’re on day 5 of our trip and I can’t think of a single thing I regret getting rid of! I already know I have all my favourites, and I even discovered a few things during the trip that I brought “just in case” and haven’t ended up needing. (Not sure why I thought expired supplements would come in handy lol) but travelling sure brings that extra layer of clarity!

Just wanted to share, in case anyone is in the process of moving and is wondering if you’ll regret getting rid of anything, you probably won’t!

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years and are about to go through a huge life transition together (moving, job changes, etc). We both absolutely want to get engaged and have talked about marriage for a long time, so this was never a question of commitment or love.

We’ve both been really stressed, exhausted, and not fully ourselves lately. We had a very draining past year with work, family stress, health stuff, and just trying to stay connected and romantic through all of it. But regardless, we love each other deeply and know we can weather hard things together.

Yesterday we spent the day together and I genuinely thought we were heading toward a really nice proposal moment. We got food for a picnic, talked about going to the beach, and I felt the romantic spark again. But instead of going to the beach he just…drove us home.

Then while we were walking the dog in the backyard, he suddenly said “I don’t want to keep waiting for the perfect moment” and pulled the ring out of his pocket. I literally had to remind him to get down on one knee. Meanwhile our dog was doing zoomies, chewing sticks beside us, and we were standing in the worst part of our yard beside dead grass and bushes behind the fire pit.

He asked if I was okay because I think my face showed disappointment. I told him I loved him, loved the ring, and absolutely wanted to marry him, but I had imagined the moment being a bit more intentional.

He took the ring back off my finger and tried again with a sweet speech while we sat on a little bench in the yard, but at that point I felt kind of out of body. The neighbours were mowing their lawn, the dog was still going crazy, and everything just felt emotionally scrambled and rushed.

Afterwards I thought maybe we’d go somewhere nice and sit together and take in the moment, but instead we just went inside and he made instant noodles. I couldn’t even properly look at the ring because it weirdly felt like I wasn’t supposed to have seen it yet.

Eventually he apologized and said he was too nervous and overwhelmed, and that he wants to redo it another time and make it special for both of us, so he took the ring back again.

Now I feel really conflicted. I love him deeply and absolutely still want to marry him, but I’m scared the “special first moment” is ruined now because I already saw the ring, already saw him on one knee, already technically said yes, etc. At the same time, I know he was overwhelmed too and genuinely trying his best. He’s never been great at surprises or romantic gestures, but he works hard to be a good partner and the best version of himself for us both.

Has anyone else had a messy or awkward proposal that eventually turned out okay? Did the redo still feel meaningful afterward?

My very sweet mother in law gifted me a bracelet for my 30th birthday. She texted me about it in advance to get my wrist size, and was so excited to give it to me. She’s quite simple/minimal in how she dresses so I’m thinking “cool it’ll probably be something I can wear every day”.

I open the box, and it’s a bracelet made of gold plated smiley faces. I just counted them, it’s actually 22 small gold smiley faces that are sitting side by side on a stretchy band. It literally looks like this:

…………..😃😃😃😃
………😃 😃
…….😃 😃
……😃 😃
……😃 😃
……..😃 😃
………..😃 😃
……………😃😃 😃😃

Terrifying.

I was stunned when I opened it because it was honestly the last thing I expected lol. I texted her to say thank you, and she replied saying “I saw it and thought of you immediately! I wanted to give you something to make you smile.”

I don’t want to be rude but this bracelet is quite literally something a 13 year old would wear. I also don’t wear a ton of jewelry so I’m not sure where she got the idea that I would like or even use this.

I’m usually great at declutterring gifts. On Christmas Day I put some gifts from family directly in the donation bin, I just knew they wouldn’t work for me but I appreciated the thought. This bracelet is a tough call because she’s a wonderful person, but because she’s not my mom or direct family I feel bad. When my own mom gets me something I don’t like, I tell her why it didn’t work out for me and there’s no hard feelings, but I don’t think on that same level with MIL. I’m contemplating even mentioning this to my partner because it’s his mom and he has a tendency to say “just keep it anyways” which doesn’t help. When I put the bracelet on he said “wow!” But idk if it was a positive or negative response lol.

I also hate hanging onto something out of fear. I want to let it go but I’m afraid of that one possible interaction where she asks about it and I don’t have it anymore to wear in front of her.

What would you do?

Which one are you? I use barely one napkin during a meal, and my boyfriend takes about 5 minimum.

I’ve recently learned that books are being “updated” to include modern pop culture references or language to make it more appealing to current readers. You may have seen the article about how a Pretty Little Liars book (2006) was “updated” to include a reference to TikTok….in place of a reference to the show Fear Factor, which is way more fitting for the time it was written.

I did a quick search on the r/books subreddit and found a post from 9 years ago expressing the same issue. So it’s been going on for longer than I realized. As an avid reader I feel embarrassed to say I didn’t know this, and it honestly crushes me thinking that books are no longer allowed to be frozen in time.

This whole thing just makes me so sad to think that we will no longer be able to read books and be immersed in the era it was written.

If you excuse me I’ll be scouring the internet and local used book stores to find old copies.

Edit for my personal context:

I sometimes feel burnout when using ChatGPT, similar to how I feel on social media. When it starts to distort my prompts or get too lengthy, it makes the entire process just annoying an unpleasant and I’ve considered deleting it at times.

Just curious if anyone else has felt the same and either considered deleting or have actually deleted it and what their experience was like.

This is a rant as I'm pretty sure I already know the answer. But I've only ever loved refill style products. Especially for face powders like blush and bronzer. To me it's the perfect set up because you can buy the empty palette, fill it with whatever colours you like, and really customize it to your needs.

MAC's magnetic palette used to be iconic and so practical, but it seems like they're getting phased out. I was on their site 5 months ago and while it wasn't as fully stocked as it used to be, they still had a short range of blush and eye colours, and a variety of palette sizes for the face and eyes. Today I checked and there's almost no evidence of refill palettes even existing, just a couple products that are marked "sold out".

I understand it's likely due to the fact that pre made palettes increase sales way more as the buyer has no choice but to waste colours they don't like, and repurchase. And with refill palettes there's no need to buy them again unless they break.

I'm just so bummed about this because it really feels like the customer experience and needs are no longer an important aspect of makeup. They just create whatever can go viral on TikTok and put less and less thought into formulations, or practical use.

Anyone else feel this way??

Firstly I love auntie Jen and I’ve been a long time Cheekbone fan since they started!

I always restock on their small eco refill powders. In the first couple years they made these black plastic refill palettes with 3 slots for small refill powders and a perfect sized mirror. I still have mine and still love using them.

Over the years I’ve seen them phase out the plastic packaging and move to the cardboard pallets. I bought one and I like it for travel because it’s light and I can store all the colours in one place, but I honestly don’t like it as much as the plastic palette because it wears down quicker and has to be replaced more often (maybe that’s the point?) The cardboard one also doesn’t have a mirror which I know is more eco friendly but I really enjoy having a mirror as it’s my daily use makeup.

I recently noticed their small eco refills are 81% off so I stocked up, but I’m wondering if that means they’re discontinuing the small eco refills altogether? It looks like any small eco refill product or pallet is on sale and they’re moving towards the larger size pans in the metal tins. Even the cardboard pallets are gone.

I feel like any company that does refill pallets eventually phases them out, maybe because the profit margins aren’t as good. I just want to choose my own colours and not be forced to buy a premade pallet with colours I won’t use.

I see lots of other products on the Cheekbone site are on sale as well so I’m hoping that means they’re just doing a formula or packaging revamp! If they go out of business I’ll be so sad. And I really hope they’re not tanking the small eco refills 😭🤞