u/Upbeat-Secretary-576

School orientation was today. I briefly passed my child's father and his girlfriend while they were leaving the school and I was headed in. I didn't feel well to begin with, so I wasn't trying to stop and communicate. He belittles me everytime we communicate over text anyways, there is no reason for me to talk to him in person- I just walked past them like an adult who is fed up eith being bullied. I was holding my son's hand, and my son waved, but didnt care to stop and talk. I didn't tell him not to talk to his father, but I didnt encourage him to do so either.

No sooner than 30 minutes after my ex left the school, I received this text from child's father (copied and pasted, identifying information removed);

"Highly inappropriate of you to tell (child) not to talk to his dad or brother at the school. You talk about co parenting but clearly you are too immature to do so yourself. On top of that again (child) is missing papers to be in a class. You need to make sure it is all is paperwork is turned in! Step it up for (child) sake. You’ve had more than enough time to get his stuff turned in. Don’t let him miss another year because you can’t be responsible. That is all no need for any comment from you."

Again, I did not tell child not to talk to his dad. When I talked about "coparenting", I was asking childs father to stop bullying and harassing me. Child was never missing any papers to be in school, the secretary only needed to check the spam folder within her email. I have had enough of him telling me to "step it up" and "do better" while I am doing everything right. The only time child has ever missed "a year" of school was when I enrolled child in preschool and child's father refused to take him during his parenting time with claims that the daycare he had child in was sufficient.

And am I not allowed to stand up for myself when wildly innacurate comments are made?

I only recently learned that I was entitled to copies of CPS reports in which my children were listed as victims/where I was labeled as a perpetrator- so I didn't even see any CPS report until very recently.

I separated from my ex husband in June of 2022, and after that he began fighting me for full custody. To help his case, he called CPS on me numerous times- to report that I failed to take child to the dr for a runny nose, to report that child got MRSA solely because of "dirty and horrid conditions at mother's house", to report that I am still putting child in "hand me down" clothes despite him paying child support...but he also told the friend of court officials that he (my ex) is a victim of DV from when CPS was supposedly involved for me pushing him while he had our 1 year old child in his arms. An incident like that never occurred- but there is a CPS report in existence that says it did.

In a CPS report from February of 2022, it says that my ex and I got into a verbal argument that resulted in him trying to leave the home "until things calm down", but that I took the car keys from him, then prevented him from calling the police by taking his cellphone too. He said he then picked up the 1 year old child and went into the bathroom where I followed. He said he tried pushing me out of the way, but that I fell and hit my head. He also told CPS that I was in counseling for anger issues, but that I reported to him that counseling wasnt helping me. He also told CPS that he had been trying to get me to go to marriage counseling, but that I refused, and he asked CPS for assistance in forcing me to attend with him.

When allegations were read back to him, he said "thats all accurate" and went on to claim that I was arrested for domestic violence that day.

This report paints him as a victim while I look like a monster- but the report does not have a truthful statement because my ex struggles with honesty. These allegations were never read back to me at the time, and my own statement was never taken.

What actually happened that day;

I had an appointment to get to ~30 minutes prior to the altercation. There was no verbal argument that caused him to want to leave the house, I overheard him on the phone with his cousin (who was on speakerphone) and he was making plans to purchase crack with this cousin (he had a self diagnosed crack addiction, did not plan to stop using, he was gone for hours everytime he went out on a crack run- I was 100% against him smoking crack at all). We had one vehicle between the 2 of us, he knew about my appointment, kneq that I had to drive myself there, and he knew I was relying on him to watch the kids while I was at my appointment- so I snatched the keys from his hands before he could leave. Then he screamed into the phone (to his cousin) "call the cops, call the cops, she wont let me leave!"- so I took his phone and hung up to prevent him from sounding foolish. Then I went into the bathroom and locked the door. He kicked the bathroom door in while our 1 year old child remained in the living room and not in his arms (we had 2 bathrooms, he did not need access to this specific bathroom). He shoved me around in the bathroom and my head hit the toilet due to having been physically assaulted by him so I called the police. I was arrested for interfering with telecommunications because I was honest about the series of events that occured while he was not- I never made it to my appointment that day.

I was never in counseling for anger issues, I was seeing a therapist because he had been verbally and emotionally abusive the entire time I was married to him.

I was the one asking him to attend marriage counseling with me- because he cheated on me and gave me an STD while I was pregnant and failed to be honest about it. He refused to go to marriage counseling with me.

Is there any way to correct these inaccuracies, or does he really get to say whatever he wants with no consequences and have it remain part of mine and my childs permanent record?

My ex husband and I are supposed to communicate about the child via text message, but my ex only ever bullies/belittles me over text. I have found it easiest to just block his number while he is going on and on with insult after insult (obviously the innapropriate communication continues after I unblock his number and need to communicate with him again), but then he texts me from burner numbers under false identities after I do block his number.

In the first 18 months immidiately following separation, he texted me from a minimum of 3 burner numbers a day just to sexually harass me- this resulted in me blocking thousands of burner numbers- he has already admitted to it in a "it shouldnt matter" manner- I know for a fact that it is him still texting me from burner numbers.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you actually deal with this without losing your mind entirely?

The texts that I get from him are just plain nasty, have nothing to do with the child, and oftentimes come entirely n from out of the blue. "(GF) is a way better mom to child than you'll ever be, she loves him better, treats him better....giving birth does not make you a mom....you can't hold a steady relationship cuz all you act like is a body- a useless body that gave children to 2 different men."

Communication about the child is ineffective because he doesn't try to communicate at all unless he is maintaining or creating conflict with me. For example, I asked him fairly recently to please be reasonable when disagreeing with me about child's school placement (he was fighting to put child in a school that was wildly inconvenient for me simply because he didn't want child in school with my older children), and his immediate response was "you're not responsible for anything so don't you dare talk about maturity or being responsible or respect when you cant uphold to any of it yourself". He frequently accuses me of lying- "you're all lies!...all you know is lies!". He frequently accuses me of being immature "grow up!....your boyfriend is mature, that I agree with, but you on the other hand?". One time he insulted my *intelligence* 32 times over 8 different responses (in a 45 minute time frame). He accuses me of *failing* my child, and tells me to *do better* for my child- out of the blue while I am not doing anything wrong by my child.

I frequently get texts that indicate he is *laughing at me*- while receiving GIFS from him of people laughing. He tells me that he shows everyone associated with him and his girlfriend our texts and that *"everyone"* laughs at me.

And I have brought this up during mediation sessions- the fact that he negatively compares me to his girlfriend during conversations and insults my intelligence/maturity/parental capabilities- and all he does is laugh, nod in obnoxiously obvious manners, say "YUP!", and act entirely pleased with himself. (He is 35, not 18 by the way)

I blocked his number again yesterday because after informing him of when child's school orientation is, this just turned into another example of him being unable to communicate like an adult and eventually ended with him telling me that he shows our texts to all of "his people" and his girlfriends "people", and they all laugh at me. Knowing him, it wouldve went on and on- I stopped it/protected myself by blocking his number.

Very first thing this morning, I received a "heyyy" text from a burner number I've never seen before...."this is (males first name, last initial- unfamiliar name) who is this?".

I called him out on it, made him aware that I knew it was him, and the response from the burner number was a long paragraph on how I shouldnt assume he's my ex, followed with "I'm not sure who this is, I found this number on my old phone and I was curious, my bad."

Anyone else dealt with something similar? I cant imagine this is a rare case of super immaturity

How many buyers are actually out there asking to purchase a home via land contract with nothing down at all?

I kicked a couple buyers out while showing a house today because I felt conned. I dont know what came over me and that was completely out of character for me, and I was upset that so much of my own time was wasted.

The licensure classes do not prepare you for this at all.

An individual reached out about potential land contract on one of my listings- yes, seller will only consider land contract with 20% down.

Knowing this, he still wanted to see it.

I told him that seller wanted 20% of purchase price as a down payment for a land contract deal (3) times before showing it.

I live an hour from the property. I took this listing on for a repeat client. That was 2 hours of total driving time.

The individual spent ~20-30 minutes there with his girlfriend checking the place out, talking about why they would make good tenants, and making future plans for the property amongst themselves- and then I learned I had essentially been conned out to the property so we could discuss the possibility of the seller renting to them.

The boy kinda danced around the down payment topic and acted as though it was no big deal that the seller wouldnt consider land contract offers without 20% down...but then he asked *why* seller wanted the down payment- so seller doesnt have to come out of pocket to sell his own house.

"Oh, so theres a loan on it, is that the issue?"- no, seller doesnt *want* to come out of pocket to sell his own home.

"What exactly are the seller's closing costs?"- what? Thats not an appropriate question for a buyer to ask...

Then he hit me with "well we dont actually have a diwn payment, we were hoping we could just give him $1000 a month and then take out a mortgage on the land in one year."

"Alright, we've gotta get outta here now" I kindly said while leading them to the door

I have an 8 and 5 year old, my husband has an 8 year old. I have had numerous issues with SK physically abusing my 5 year old. Going on for the last 2 years- all SK has to do to stay out of trouble is be the first one to run to his dad and lie about what happened. "Accidentally" shut BK's hand in the car door twice, "accidentally" shut BKs head in the car door, "accidentally" shoving BK to the ground multiple times a week, "Accidentally" ramming his bike into BKs bike (he tried telling his dad that BK "just fell " and "i just know hes gonna lie about it to try to get me in trouble!" And then eventually "well, BK told me to knock him onto the cement off his bike".), "accidentally" whipping BK in the face with a stick as hard as he possibly could after I said to put the sticks down.

All my dumbass husband ever does is shrug, say "it couldve been an accident", or try to reprimand BK for "lying to get SK in trouble "/ "asking SK to shove him off his bike". He also claims that it is just "boys being boys", but it is only ever BK hurt and crying from an injury SK caused. All SK is learning is that he can get away with bullying my child by being the first to lie to his dad about it.

I have only ever disciplined SK by taking his phone, yelling at him, and sending him to his room- but he was incredibly unhappy with me for that one time and tried telling his bio-mom that he's terrified of me. I had CPS investigating me for 6 months because bio-mom called CPS to find out why SK is supposedly terrified of me and SK told CPS that I threaten to slap him across the face multiple times a week, I've shoved him in his room for not doing something fast enough, I've thrown a beer can at his dad and this beer can supposedly hit him on the forehead and got him wet, I go into "psycho mode" and scream at him but only when his dad isn't around, and that he watched me punch my husband in the face. None of these events actually occured, but I am **very** careful about why and how I discipline SK today, just because I've already seen him manipulate the right people to cause serious consequences.

Anywho, thats the history here.

BK got his first migraine yesterday with vomiting and everything- and I took him to the hospital because I was terrified that it was from a head injury caused by SK, although I didnt express that was the reason I took him to the hospital until tonight while trying to tell SK that he has no right to bully BK.

9 pm and I was getting all of the kids ice cream as a final snack before bed. SK was playing some game on his phone while walking to the kitchen, wasnt paying attention and brushed into BKs ice cream cone- got ice cream on his arm. Turned around and immediately screamed BKs name angrily, directly in his face, right in front of me.

So I quietly slid his phone right out of his hand and said "Dont yell at him." I handed SK his ice cream, then said "we're gonna put the game up until we can be nice."

SK took his ice cream directly to my bedroom and told on me for taking his phone.

Then DH came to the kitchen all confrontational while SK followed him to sit at the kitchen table and watch us like a hawk like he was *anticipating* his dad drill me after telling on me.

DH didnt seem to care that the entire conversation was occuring directly in front of his child.

Asked me why I took his phone.

"So, SK gets ice cream on him, then gets his phone taken for it?"

Since DH was letting SK watch us anyways, I turned to SK and calmly told SK that I took his phone for yelling in BKs face, said he has no right to, that I am tired of him bulling BK, and that I took BK to the hospital the night before because I was worried that he was suffering from a head injury caused by SK.

The entire time, SK is talking in a more high pitched tone then normal- "well, all I was doing was asking BK a question...I was nice about it...I dont know what youre talking about". And DH stood behind me with his arms crossed asking me in an angry manner "well what did SK say then- like it truly was me vs DH and SK.

And DH turns the conversation into "don't you dare blame SK for causing BKs migraines!"

DH proceeds to tell me that I was wrong for taking SKs phone, took the phone himself, and sat down on the couch.

I followed him intending to ask him what he was thinking in drilling me directly in front of SK and making me defend myself to him (in fromt of SK at that) because an 8 year old told on me for disciplining him appropriately.

SK followed him though, and was just about to sit on the couch next to him when I calmly asked him to head up to his room. Just because I didn't want SK to witness adult conversations that could get hostile.

DH says "no SK, you can stay right here."

Proceeded to tell me that SK can sit by him, and I can't tell SK what to do.

I stepped away and tried again.

"SK, please go to your room, I need to talk to your dad."

SK looked at his dad, said "my dad says I domt have to"- then proceeded to play on the phone my husband handed back to him.

DH doesnt even have a car right now (his own fault) and I asked him to have his dad pick him up for the night at the very minimum.

DH and SK both waited outside in the dark for DHs dad to arrive.

I own the home, DH has not contributed financially in well over a year (and has in fact caused more financial harm then help by stealing large amounts of money from my wallet & credit cards while I pay 100% of the bills), and I am 9 months pregnant.

In case of an emergency, by all means, whoever is available should take the child to an emergency care setting- but I myself would never feel comfortable taking a child who is not even mine to the family doctor for a scheduled appointment.

My child's father has scheduled the annual well-child visits during his own parenting time for the last 3 years- the first time being 3 months after I left him (child was not even 2, and this was not a dr child saw from birth due to child's father bullying me into agreeing with a new dr- found out later on that "new dr" was one his childless GF chose)

Childs father bullies me horribly over text every chance he gets, so I didn't intend to go to the annual well-child visits *with* him, but I certainly would have taken child myself if he was unable

I found out very recently from pediatrician records that my childs father has never taken child to the PCP, and it has only ever been his girlfriend doing this on her own. No information from these appointments was ever relayed to me, and i know his girlfriend feels animosity towards me so I wouldn't expect her to communicate dr appointment information with me (although she certainly should if she feels its her place to take child to the dr to begin with)

I wouldnt even trust my current husband to take my child to a scheduled dr appointment alone due to not believing he would express the same concern as I would.

He has also given his girlfriend access to my child's online medical records, and I guess she reviews *when* I take my own child to the dr- my ex ends up belittling me for "not taking child to the dr enough" for runny noses/common colds, and taking child to the dr "too much" for severe migraines.

Childs father has also been asking me for childs dentist information with claims that he wants to start taking child to the dentist himself- but after learning that his GF is the only one taking child to the PCP, I dont feel comfortable providing the dentist's information and allowing his girlfriend to take child to the dentist on her own as well

Does anyone else have a "coparent" that behaved horribly or bullied them during mediation?

I'm curious to know others stories of having been bullied during mediation, and how it ultimately went

How does the court typically address innapropriate behavior witnessed by a court mediator if it is not immediately addressed during the meeting?

I have been in the most insane, toxic, high conflict "co parenting" situation for the last 4 years.

We had a court mediation hearing over zoom yesterday because we cannot reach an agreement regarding what school child goes to for kindergarten. I want child in school with older siblings, my ex husband doesnt seem to care as long as he's disagreeing with me. He recommended a school 40 minutes out of the way for me while I am taking my older children to the school they have been attending.

He spent the entire time interrupting both me and the mediating attorney, loudly talking over us, and being disrespectful to the both of us.

He learned during the meeting that the school he recommended is not even in the district he lives in, so his options are limited to X public, or my older children's school (Y school).

He was angry and badmouthing X public- said he did his research on X public, all reviews are bad, teachers are horrible, and he asked the mediating attorney whether or not she believed his child would get a good education at X public in a rhetorical manner that indicated he did not believe a good education was possible at X public. When asked by mediator what was wrong with Y school, he simply said he would look into X public more- and within 5 minutes of the zoom hearing he was all for X public, claiming they have a great baseball program and his 5 year old apparently already shows an interest in baseball, and he thinks the large classroom sizes will allow for more 1 on 1 teacher time. He also indicated that X public was closer to his girlfriend's place of work, and stated that she would be the one doing drop offs at school.

He also tried badmouthing my work schedule to the attorney several times and claimed that since I am self employed and make my own work schedule, hw should be able to pick the child's school because him and his girlfriends schedules are dictated by others- he even asked me directly in an arrogant manner "you get child support, dont you? If you want that child support, I need to *go to work* for it".

When the possibility of parental alienation was brought up, I explained to the mediator that childs father keeps comparing me to his girlfriend in a negative way over text with texts like "GF is a better mother than you, she loves child better, treats child better....you're just a useless body that gave children to 2 different men...giving birth does not make you a mom, you should take tips from GF"- as I was reciting the types of texts I got from him, he could be seen obnoxiously nodding (head moving up/down 3+ inches in either direction), very obviously mouthing "yup", and smiling widely like he was proud of the way he disrespected me.

And then he claimed that I text him and tell him to fuck off, but when I explained that I only tell him to fuck off when he insults me via text and explained that he insulted my intelligence 32 times throughout 8 responses in our recent text exchange, he did the same obnoxious nod thing (I provided screenshots of the insults I get from him via text plus me telling him to fuck off for insulting me- so nothing was left out)

I tried explaining that child has expressed a desire to attend school with his siblings, and he interrupted me to say "oh, child told **me** the complete opposite- he said he wants to go to school with his *cousins*...but since that's not in the district I live in, he wants to go to school with his friends from preschool.

He also argued with me about what school the child currently attends- he said it wasnt a preschool or headstart, it was an "ISD program" (it literally says X preschool on the building). He was laughing at me and he genuinely thought he was making me look dumb for calling child's school a preschool.

He was still very clearly bullying me, proud about failing to coparent with me effectively, proud about the way he insults and disrespects me, selfishly not looking out for the best interest of his child, and downplaying my role/my older children's role in my childs life- all in front of the court mediator!

This hearing was only about school placement ans I was advised to file another motion for final decision making authority.

Can his conduct at this meeting be used against him?

My ex has been communicating in a child like manner to say the very least- lve asked him to keep communication about the child, he claims to only want to communicate with me about the child- but he keeps bringing his girlfriend up in conversation to seemingly get a reaction out of me...I guess is the best way to describe it. I do not recall having a single comversation with him in the last 4 years where he does not bring the girlfriend up at least once in a manner that compares me to her negatively, or says soemthing along the lines of "haha (GF) will be in child's life forever whether you like.it or not"

He will say the stupidest things like "(GF) is a way better mother to (child), she loves him better than you do, treats him better, and helps buy him clothes that actually fit"

-The only time I have ever had child in "ill-fitting" clothes was when he was in 3T clothing wearing a 5T winter coat just to allow for growth and layering- my ex asked me to provide a winter coat because he had not yet purchased one, then berated me for the coat being too big-

Then he'll shit on me or laugh at me for being angry that he'd say anything about his girlfriend being a better mother to my child than I am.

Sometimes I'll respond with "she is not a legal parent, please allow me to take child to the pediatrician before allowing her to take child on her own/please do not allow her to make the decision for you as to where my child goes to school"

And he will shit on me or laugh at me some more

If I don't even acknowledge that he said anything about her, he'll say "haha, you cant argue cuz ypu know im right" or "good on you for not insulting her, shows growth"

(I have reminded him that I am not coparenting with her when she starts conflict/yells at me during child exchanges, texts me insults from his phone, or oversteps when it comes to taking child to the dr or enrolling child in school- but i have never even insulted her)

Hes failing to keep communication about the child with this

Has anyone had to address this type of issue?

~2 weeks ago, I left my husband's vehicle after learning he had single handedly maxed out one of the credit cards that I had already paid off.

We had a fight that almost resulted in me leaving him- I mean I went 2 days without talking to him.

On top of using my credit cards without my permission, he was withdrawing every dollar in my child support card at a local ATM.

Thinking that maybe the threat of losing me over that was enough, I forgave him and opted to move on.

I have to clarify here that he's not just *using* my credit cards- he created a "business cashapp account" (and I guess has a few that he cycles between) specifically to take money from my credit cards via a square payment- he has never had my permission to do this.

I found out yesterday morning that he took an additional $230 from my credit cards and child support card over the previous 4 days (7/20-7/24) This time, he directed the money from my child support card straight to his cashapp account instead of withdrawing it

I spent all day yesterday (again) asking him not to touch my credit cards or child support card again because it made me feel disrespected.

The total amount that he took from my credit cards and child support card this month alone equates to $540.

I have bills that equal less than $540. $540 would pay **3** of my bills.

He wouldn't know, because he doesnt help with a single one.

$540 was taken from my credit and child support cards this month without my knowledge or consent *on top of* the money I gave him for gas, or the gas/cigarettes I purchased *for him*, all while I am paying 100% of the household bills on my own.

~2 years ago, I was getting very minimal financial help from him.

I truly didnt *need* it, but since him and his (now 8 year old) child moved into my house with me and my 2 children, I expected him to pay *some* bills. My expectation was voiced and he agreed.

We were both putting 100% of our income into my bank account, that I turned into our joint account. The problem was that he was withdrawing $60-$140 per day at ATMs- he had no desire to save money, no care for upcoming bills, no concern about the fact that I too needed to use the money in my bank account for gas and daily expenses- he was withdrawing well beyond what he even made.

I eventually had to start putting my money into a different account so I could pay bills and afford to live.

He started overdrawing the bank account- resulting in overdraft fees, and large sums of money that wasnt even present in the account being pulled out of that account. I told the bank what was going on and had him removed.

And he was still taking cash from my wallet, just like he had always been, but more now because he didn't have access to my bank account.

~1 year ago, he lost his job and claimed he was ineligible for unemployment benefit payments. So I continued paying every bill plus his $450 monthly car payment...then I learned just a few months later that he had been collecting $742 biweekly unemployment paychecks without my knowledge the entire time.

I made a point to stop paying his car payment.

Then, when he started working with his friend and collecting money, he claimed he could not help me with the bills because he had to pay his car note.

His car was eventually repoed because he did not make a single payment on it since I stopped paying on it. He expected me to sell my investment property to purchase him a new car outright, even claimed half ownership due to marriage to manipulate me into doing so.

I woke up this morning to learn he took another $5 from my child support card.

$5 is $5, but it's the concept that mattered- especially since i had just told him how disrespected it made me feel.

He told me to stop overreacting.

Then he says "I’m trying but I know that’s not enough for you. I know I don’t give you any net positive or add any value to your life unless it’s money related."

Then he says "I’m not fighting today. Or arguing. Or talking about this stuff. I’m trying to have a good day and be positive instead of being negative and pissy"

"(Father's girlfriend's name) says that I'm *not* going to school with (sister) and (stepbrother), she says I'm gonna go make some *new* friends." Says my five year old child out of the blue.

Thats why my ex husband is fighting me hard-core on not having my child start school with his siblings for kindergarten...because he can just go make some new friends at a school that nobody is familiar with.

And I get that she *could* just be parroting what my ex husband said or something as I don't know additional context of that comversation , but I already suspected that many of the texts sent to me from my ex husbands phone were sent by her anyways because the texts literally just go in circles with no real answers/compromise to whatever we're discussing- its just *paragraphs* of telling me off- sentence after sentence of the texter just telling me what a POS they think I am with a "my *fiancè* is better than you...(GF's name) is a better mother to child than you'll ever be" thrown in on every other text.

Really wishing I could just share an *example* of these texts without giving identifying information away, but it literally is just diss after diss on his end with the girlfriend's being thrown randomly on a pedestal even though no one brings her up but him.

"Oh, by the way, (GF) is a major part of his life as another mother who does stuff with him and helps take care of him as her own. Also you and I don't agree on a school so goodbye I'm at work. She'll always be a part of child's life!!! You're way too inconsistent anyways (my older daughter's name- spelled horribly wrong) already went to (previous school/where I had her going for 1 year as her primary parent while living with my dad post-divorce) now (current school- has been going here for 2 years now). Whats one more? 🤷🏻‍♀️ he's a smart kid and teachers will help him navigate and learn the school. Won't take him long. And good on you for not insulting my fiancé. Shows growth."

My ability to make decisions based on the best interest of my child is taken away from me.

My voice in the major decisions in my own child's life are not even considered. And I am at a complete loss here.

Location: michigan ,friend of court investigation is needed because my ex and I cannot agree on what school to enroll our 5 year old in for Kindergarten.

I want my child going to the school my 8 year old child and 7 year old stepchild goes to, my ex just wants to disagree with me and win the argument. He was perfectly fine and even excited about child going to the school my older children go to, but he did a complete 180 on me after learning i had already started the enrollment process for the school last year (for preschool). He used legal threats and intimidation to get me to enroll child in a completely different school, but then badmouthed me to me and his mother for enrolling child in a "bad choice of school".

Now for kindergarten, he recommended a school that was *way* out of the way for me (and even further out of the way for himself) with claims that his work schedule won't allow him to "wait around for a bus". He told me 3 times over text that his girlfriend picked this school for my child, that he agrees with her because shes "so smart at picking schools", that *him and his girlfriend* make decisions regarding the child's best interest and that I am to simply agree or be taken to court about it, and that his recommended school is where him and his girlfriend's affair baby will be attending 4 years from now and that i should want *our* child to go there too.

We just had an investigative hearing in November 2025 because he requested that I only have supervised visits every other weekend due to alleged medical neglect. To back his medical neglect case up, he took my child to the emergency department immediately after getting child from me ~15 times over 8 months to claim that whatever cough, sore throat, itchy bump, or small bruise my child had was entirely my fault and the hospital simply documented that he was badmouthing me in front of the child and exhibiting parental-alienating behaviors. I was more focused on defending myself at this hearing, rather than bringing up every single way he has emotionally abused me.

When the questionnaire asks how the other parent has encouraged a relationship between me and my child, is this my opportunity to tell them that he does not, and that he frequently tells me that his girlfriend is a better mother to my own child than I am and that giving birth does not make me a mother? Is this my opportunity to tell them that he has been abusing the medical system to build a non-existent neglect case?

When the questionnaire asks whether there have been incidents that I perceive as physical, verbal, or emotional abuse towards me by the other parent, is this my opportunity to tell them that he frequently tells me I am nasty for having obtained STDs while pregnant with our child or that the STDs "say alot about me" (I only got STDs from him, because he cheated on me when I was 4 months pregnant)? Should I be telling them that he cannot have a single conversation with me without insulting my intelligence or maturity? (My intelligence was insulted 32 times over 3 hours the last time I discussed school with him)

I plan to request first right of refusal, because he leaves my child in his girlfriend's care for a week at a time so he can work out of town, when he only has 1 week at a time of parenting time to begin with- is this the right time to do that, or is the focus supposed to be just on the school choice?

I plan to request final decision making authority to allow me to make decisions in my child's best interest without him interfering just to "win" the argument (and because he has already admitted that his girlfriend is making the important decisions for him)- is this the right time to do that?

My husband does not help with any household bills. At all. We're talking $2000 worth of household bills for me, him, my 2 kids, and his 1 child- entirely on me. I recently kicked his phone line off of my plan because I was tired of paying $200 a month for both of our phones while I'm not getting help with any other bills.

He doesn't even see a problem with not helping with the bills- he claims that I *am* getting help by being able to claim him and his child for government food assistance....but I wouldn't even need government food assistance if he was helping with the bills.

I got credit cards to build my credit. He made a business cashapp account to be able to take money from my credit cards via a square payment.

I keep calling to dispute it every time he does this, and explain that this is a financial abuse situation, and all they do is cancel that card and send me a new one- I dont even know which cards I can use anymore. He's done it hundreds of times within the last 6 months or so.

I cry to his face, explain how disrespected it makes me feel and explain why. All he does it promise to pay me back, but he never does.

I filed a police report recently because he stole $200 from my credit cards in june, and withdrew an additional $100 from my child support card. On top of asking me for help with this and that financially.

He knew I filed a police report.

He took an additional $120 from my credit cards between 7/5-7/8. I told him that it made me feel betrayed.

And he still took $45 from my credit card yesterday, and $110 today.

What defines parental alienation?

I know the jist of it is one parent turning the child against the other, but if your co-parent only bullies you when "communicating", at what point is this considered parental alienation?

In my case, my ex husband keeps telling me (and this has been going on for 4 years now) "giving birth does not make you a mother (3x now) showing up for your child and fighting for their best interest makes you a mother...you should take the class with (GF) and other mothers who actually care about their kids, that would make you a mother...you should take pointers from (GF)....(GF) is a way better mom to child, she loves him better, treats him better....mother, that's laughable, you're no mother...(GF) acts as childs mother because shes the only one who actually takes care of him....(GF) is a great mother to child...(GF) is just another mother for child."

All of these texts are going to *me*, the man cannot have a civil conversation, and if he's comfortable enough to text these things to me, I am wondering how much if it my child, or child's relatives/teachers could be hearing.

I have never done anything wrong while parenting child, and I have always had my child's best interest in mind, but my ex is seemingly incapable of being on neutral terms with me and needs to absolutely hate me now that I'm not married to him.

Additionally, he will send me *long* paragraphs that have nothing to do with child and are meant to just strike a nerve within me ("says the one who got all kinds of STIs while prego 🤮 says alot about you right there....GF used to laugh at you while you were on the phone begging me to get back with you and making a fool of yourself" for example- the only reason I got chlamydia while pregnant is because he cheated on me- and the only reason I thought we would end up back together is because he led me on and failed to tell me he had a new girlfriend.)

And then he'll end those long paragraphs with "now I'll be the mature one and keep conversations about child...maybe thats not something you can handle since youre still obsessed with me"

Is there ever any justice for the victims in this situation?

My problem is not that my child's father's girlfriend is *involved* in the decision-making process regarding school placement- my problem is that my child's school placement was decided by my child's father's and his girlfriend , and was presented to me as an ultimatum- "agree with me or I'll gladly go with whatever decision the courts make for us"

Multiple school choices for us, but I really want child in a school my older children go to- for obvious reasons, convenience for me and child's best interest. We do live outside of the school district where my older children attend, but the school isnt far away by any means and child's father lives closer than I do to it. Child's father has never had anything but negative things to say about schools in the district we both live in, and I agree that small town schools provide the experience I have always wanted for my children. Child's father also has no other school aged children.

We had a discussion about it last year for preschool- he knew I wanted child in school with his older siblings and he loved the idea & school choice. School is only 19 minutes of country road driving from his house, and bus stops are located closer than that to him. He texted me about getting him a copy of the school and bus schedule and asked whether or not I had started the enrollment process (i had)...but then he talked with his girlfriend about it hours later, she didnt like the idea so he told me that we either needed to get child into school in (a district we both live in). Since child's father did not take child to preschool at all the year prior and only allowed him to attend during my parenting time, I got child enrolled in a school located between our houses.

Child's father texted me ~2 weeks ago to tell me "X school is a good choice for child, I do not agree with (school my olders go to), you can either agree with me or we'll let the judge decide for us and you already know it will end up being one neither of us believe is in child's best interest".

Child's father does not live in X school district, X school is further away from him (~24 minutes with city traffic in between), and it is even more inconveniently located for me (40 minutes from other school).

We went to court and we have a couple of weeks to either agree on one school of choose one located within the school district we live in.

So I texted him to let him know that I am already familiar with the school I am recommending, and that it is in childs best interest to attend school with older siblings- trying to reach some kind of agreement with him. I asked him to please be reasonable because child's school placement is serious."

His response "you failed child by putting him in (school he went to last year for preschool)....me and (girlfriend) already decided that child will be going to X school for elementary, then Y school for middle school and Z school for high school."

I reminded him that he is expected to coparent with me and make important decisions with me- not his girlfriend.

He said "she has a major part in his life as another mother who does stuff with him and helps take care of him as one of her own...also you and I dont agree on a school so...you're way too inconsistent anyways, (my daughter) already went to B school (when we lived in B school district 3 years ago) now (current) school - whats one more?"

I reminded him that I am child's mother, and that i am not getting (older child) into another school just because he won't agree with me on placement for child.

He said "GF is his stepmom so theres that"- then sent me a GIF of a bald man laughing while insulting me about numerous things that have nothing to do with child.

Then he goes on to say "We've made our decision on what school would best suit child, you can either agree with us or let the courts pick a (unfavorable district) school for him. Balls in your court."- goes on to insult me about more things that do not relate to child.

Then goes on to say "child's mom cant have a civil conversation without insults like an.adukt so yeah me and GF talk about what would be in child's best interest, and I'll always relay it back to you- you either agree or don't agree. But GF will never stop having a say on what goes on with child...your opinion is pretty much irrelevant at this point."

I told him to keep GFs opinion on the backburner, discuss important decisions regarding child with me, and inform her of the decision we made together, and to stop allowing her opinion regarding my child to override mine.

He said "GFs opinion will never be disregarded, she's very smart and intelligent....if youd like to agree with me and GF on X school, cool, if not, we'll let the courts intervene once again. No lomger care what you have to say unless youre agreeing with me and GF...do you want to agree on the school with me and GF? She's so smart when picking schools, you'd be amazed by her....we made this decision because this is where me and GFs (2 yo) child will eventually go."

Is a stepparent even supposed to have this much say in a school placement choice??? He's telling me that him and his girlfriend makes the decisions together, they relay it to me, and then pretty much tell me whats going to happen with a court ultimatum.

Who has actually had to lay boundaries down to protect their time when dealing with difficult buyer clients? Making realistic offers? How did that conversation go? These people are really nice and I'd hate to hurt their feelings, but my time is being incredibly disrespected.

I work with investor clients quite frequently, and this is my most difficult one yet.

Again, very nice people, husband and wife duo, I helped them buy one house, they did some work on it, and I just relisted it for them. They wanted me to list it in it's completely unfinished/half a'd state. After running comps, I told them that I believed $35k would be a good asking price, but they wanted me to list it for $68k because AI told them they could get that.

Whatever- point is, I know they eventually buy and have the funds to do so.

Now they're looking for a house to fix up and give their mother/MIL.

Wholesome and sweet, but they seem to be under the impression that they should get a discount from the sellers just because they're buying it for their mom.

Over the weekend, I showed them 6 houses in an area I am familiar with. Houses in shambles usually sell ~$10k-20k, $30k-50k if they really might only need a new roof/foundation, and ~$80-$110k move in ready. I know its different in every area.

They were 2 hours late to the first house (yeah they called me and told me- I went back home for 2 hrs). The wife kept sending pictures to AI and asking AIs opinions (and AI was simply just describing what could be seen with the naked eye). Problems 1 & 2.

But then we saw this house that was in immaculate condition for the sellers wanting only $32,000 for it- decent looking foundation and roof, and it appeared to need minimal work- $32,000 was not unreasonable. The house they have listed for $68k needs far more work than this one listed for $32k.

They decided to make an offer on that one because every other $16k-30k house we saw needed "too much work".

When asked what I thought they should offer, I told them that $32k was reasonable and that they'd likely be insulted if offered less than $25k.

So they told me to offer $24k. And after giving me 3 more smaller numbers, they finally settled on $18k.

Seller was so insulted they did not even provide a counter offer.

They were shocked that the offer insulted the sellers, but wanted me to talk with the listing agent about $24k.

Listing agent was able to talk seller down to $25k.

My buyers said no, not a penny over $24k.

I asked if we could meet the sellers in the middle at $24,500, and they said no.

Told me that if the house was a fix n flip for them, they wouldnt care, but since its for their mama they need to put serious money into it, and thats their reason for the lowball offer....wanted me to tell the sellers that.

Finished the conversation with "well, we'll just keep looking, no biggie."

But it's my time they're wasting with this.

I ordered my son a replacement Nintendo DS because his old one broke.

While at my house, he was complaining because it was taking too long to come in the mail so I told him I'd let him know when I got it.

It came today, I texted child's father "let (child) know his DS came in today, tell him I have it."

He texted back "Hasnt asked for it. I'll just not mention it unless he asks."

When I explained that I told child I would let him know when it came in, my text was read and ignored.

What? Child wouldn't ask his dad about a gaming system he plays at my house anyways.

It is one thing to maybe just not tell the child, but he blantantly told me "I won't relay your message to the child."

We had a FOC investigation almost a year ago because he thought he needed full custody (he ordered investigation), and the FOC investigator concluded in their report that they have concerns about parental alienation on father's end because when asked about how I am talked about in their household, he said "we dont really mention her name at all...she's kinda a ...taboo subject" then babbled something about keeping his fiancée happy and that shes 'mom' at father's house.

Wouldn't this be parental alienation too- refusing to share the other parent's message with a child?

This isn't something that occurs on a regular basis- this is literally the first time in 4 years that I have even asked him to relay a message to child

My exes girlfriend has been texting me from my husband's phone when we communicate about the child and it is so painfully obvious.

I feel bad for the girl.

"(GF) is a perfect mom/ step mom and fiancé."

Sir, all I was asking was that you not belittle me about allowing my child to wear sweatpants.

"I'm over your insecurities and you acting the way you do as a "grown woman"."

I have never called myself a grown woman, who is calling me a grown woman around the individual texting?

I was also called jealous numerous times, insecure a couple of times, and his girlfriend was mentioned 8 times by him across 4 texts within an hour.

I was asking was that he not belittle me about allowing my child to wear sweatpants and a T-shirt to school, and wondering why he called me a bad parent for child's clothing choice before seeing it himself (his girlfriend picked child up from school and raised hell to my ex about the clothing child wore to school)

The last time we communicated, he belittled me about what I do for work (professional "grown woman" jobs lol)

Location: MI

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I have reason to believe that my medical records (from ER visit) were innapropriately accessed and shared with my ex husband for the purpose of bullying/harassing me.

My ex husband knows (bullied/harassed me about) information that I did not tell him, and I am aware rhat he has a sibling that works on the medical care team of the hospital I went to/go to. I do not want to place blame on one person though, as I do not know who my ex husband talks to these days.

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What can generally be done about this, and what are the obligations of the hospital to provide me with an audit of medical staff that accessed my care records?

Been married for 2 years now, still in the home I had before marriage. 3 children in my home (8, 8, 5)- only 2 of them are mine (8,5).

My husband's child is ungrateful and bratty. Lies about me to his mom and CPS- even had CPS investigating me for 6 moths because of these lies. My husband badmouths me to his child- both in front of me and behind my back, no wonder I cant get respect from the kid.

A whole 24 months of being married- 16 of those have been me paying every single household bill ($2000 +/month, plus groceries and whatnot) on my own, and 21 of those months have consisted of my husband stealing large amounts of cash from me at a time ($100-$140, right from my wallet or some other incredibly creative way- lost tens of thousands of dollars due to this).

He stopped helping with the bills because he was mad that I took him off of my bank account, but I couldn't keep allowing him to withdraw $100 every day- he was withdrawing more from my bank account than he even made on top of taking cash from my wallet.

I am now 7 months pregnant and have been begging my husband for financial help this entire pregnancy, but he keeps pushing it off- he'll help with bills when he gets paid. Then payday comes and he has a dozen excuses as to why he cant contribute.

Rent was due 8 days ago. He has kept me waiting for 8 days for him to get paid so i can get half of rhe rent money from him, just for him to tell me today that it wont happen. Says he doesnt get paid every day or even every other Friday due to being self employed- but I am self employed as well, and I get paid less frequently than he does (although larger amounts) and I still see that all bills are paid.

I have had it. Where would anyone else draw the line? Because I keep drawing the line and he manipulates his way over it.