Just had a lady come check on the house from cps for domestic violence . said she will be back in a month what does that mean? She came today to talk, checked everything then said she will be back in a month after she gets call reports , school records , etc .
I currently work for another counties CPS and really enjoy my position and supervisor/ unit. I’m reluctant to leave if I’m offered the job but know I have to, it’s a 25k raise for the same work…curious about case loads, work culture, etc and hoping someone who works there can speak to that! Thanks
Hi Reddit.
Before I delve into this, let me state that a police report has already been made and the family is aware of what’s going on.
The big question: do I need to get authorities FURTHER involved, more than they already are? If so, which authorities?
Please, if you have questions, ask and I will answer them if I can.
The story: I have known this child (12yo) for three years, and I have been their babysitter for one year. (Kiddo uses they/them pronouns, which I will use here).
A few months ago, they voiced some concerns to me regarding a “creepy” music instructor. I reported this to Mom, who ultimately concluded that it was a result of the instructor touching their hands. Both parents insist that Dad is in these music lessons to observe.
Two weeks ago, kiddo told me they had been “raped” by this music instructor. We had a long conversation with scientifically correct terms. The incident allegedly occurred on a Thursday, kiddo told me Friday. I informed Mom who told me they would discontinue lessons. Because I was in charge of kiddo all weekend AND music lessons aren’t provided on weekends, I held off on reporting until Sunday. (To the best of my knowledge, no kids were put in danger by me holding off for these days. Otherwise I would’ve reported immediately).
I waited because I wanted kiddo to write a letter for me to bring to police. They were struggling/refusing to speak at times during our conversation, so I offered that they could write what happened. They did, and I took that letter to police that Sunday evening.
*EDIT: to elaborate on this: kiddo said “I was raped” and clammed up. I now see how my conversation with them was incorrect. If what they said was true, which I believe it is, I wanted to have a solid case that police could act on. The letter kiddo wrote? Two pages of irrelevant details and two sentences effectively stating the same thing. If I did influence it, the perpetrator still doesn’t have any more evidence against them.
That night, police went to interview the parents. I warned police that the child would either self-harm or run away, and to bring an extra officer to help with that.
The next day, Mom informed kiddo that police had stopped by due to a report about an SA. Kiddo promptly ran away and harmed themselves. They were taken back home once found. Authorities deduced there wasn’t enough reason to place kiddo in a psych hold.
*EDIT: when Mom informed me of this, I did tell her that I respectfully understand if the family no longer wished to continue contact with me. They have not yet made a decision and are still sending kiddo to be in my care via the student/teacher-esque setup.
So, there’s that part of the story. Currently, kiddo is awaiting a spot at a residential treatment facility across the country. (It looks nice- not a teen abuse ranch from what I can tell). Mom has expressed that she understands why I reported, and is appreciative that I care (although she’s probably PO’d, understandably).
Here’s where the icky part comes in that I seek advice on. (Yeah, that’s right- it gets ickier).
Something here smells off. When kiddo first came into my care (going to stay vague here), I effectively had a teacher/student relationship with them. They were in my care (with other kids & adults), and the parents never disclosed that kiddo suffered from mental health issues. (SI, SH, PTSD, anxiety, depression, dysphoria). I was handed an EpiPen for allergies and that was that.
When I became their babysitter, I was aware of these things, but not because it was disclosed by parents. I had picked up on it over time and gently questioned kiddo, who disclosed these things to me. I brought the diagnoses up to Mom privately, at which point she disclosed them. She has never told me anything that kiddo has done (previous SH, death attempts, running away, etc.) unless I bring it up first.
When the SA was reported, Mom expressed that she spoke to kiddo’s therapist and both of them think this event was… a delusion? Yeah. “A PTSD type response” to prior events. (Referring to an alleged SA by a peer a few years ago). So, it seems that Mom believes kiddo is lying or hallucinating. Great options- kiddo was SA’d, kiddo believes they were SA’d, or kiddo is lying. (Of course I stand by believing the child right now).
Dad is… immature and has anger issues. Yelling/screaming is the “worst” that’s been disclosed to me.
Today, kiddo was set to be in my care until 4pm (via this teacher/student relationship, not as their sole babysitter). Dad was going to be late due to traffic (he did not communicate this, I got a notification about traffic his way). My employer has a policy of charging parents for any childcare past 4pm, so I signed kiddo out (as I’ve done many times before without incident), and they sat with me in my vehicle right where Dad parks to pick them up. I admit that this may have been a mistake on my end.
Kiddo expressed that they wanted me to come over for dinner as I have many times before. I gently explained that their parents probably don’t want to spend time with me right now, but it’s something we can discuss for the future. As Dad walked towards my vehicle, kiddo opened the window to start to ask if I could come for dinner at some point. Kiddo got out “Can so&so” when Dad said “so&so can have you”, got in his car, and left.
While I realize signing kiddo out may have been a mistake, kiddo was RIGHT WHERE DAD PARKS and all I did to Dad was a small wave. I did not speak to him today. My intent was to save him a childcare fee, not to override him.
Mom works, so I texted her that I would take kiddo home. A mile from home, there was Dad, driving towards us. Got to their house, Mom was there as Dad had told her to come home. Turns out Dad decided to head on a solo trip indefinitely, leaving Mom to figure out childcare (Dad doesn’t work or have an income, btw). Kiddo is currently home with Mom; I had no desire to stick around with all the tension.
What bothers me most is repeated statements of “I’m going to commit s—cide” from kiddo and the fact that I know kiddo can access multiple medications, knives, and guns in the home. I do not know if the guns have ammunition. Yes, Mom is aware of these statements.
My deduction is this is negligence at best. Police told me they don’t see a need for further investigations or interviews right now; I don’t fully understand their processes so I’m not going to assume that means the police did or didn’t find sufficient evidence.
That leads me back to the original question: do I need to get authorities further involved, more than they already are? If so, which authorities?
Is this negligence? Is this abuse? Is this just the harsh reality of parenting a mentally ill 12yo that I can’t understand as a non-parent? Help me out here, Reddit. I understand that Reddit cannot give legal advice. Thanks in advance.
EDIT: Just made the CPS call and am glad I did. Huge thanks to all who commented.
Hi all, I could really use some advice here. Apologies in advance for the length of the post, but trying to give all useful info to get some guidance here. I (26F) nannied for an extremely wealthy (not billionaire but multi-millionaire) family in NYC for a year and stopped working for them about 3 months ago. In those 3 months, I've been getting updates from the other nannies that things are getting much worse. I'll quickly lay out relevant info about the family and then get into why I think this is a CPS call ASAP (ranges across parental outbursts to car seats to deliberately over medicating kids at night) and why I'm still hesitating a little. I left this job for a handful of reasons including their parenting, how they spoke to and treated their children, lack of proper payment, and how they spoke to me and treated myself and their other staff (they had me for 52 hours during the week, an au pair doing the same, a weekend nanny who stayed at the house from Friday to Monday, and one, sometimes two, night nurses on weekdays.) Overall they had 24/7 childcare in the home from at least one professional. The mom was stay at home and their grandmother was often there to visit. The dad was usually working or on business trips so wasn't closely involved, but was around. The kids were deliberately all born back to back to be close in age (not all natural births / from the mom) and at the time I left the kids were 2.5, 1.5, and 6 months.
I'll leave out any issues with treatment to staff / payment issues etc and focus only on treatment towards the children. I also want to make sure that my own feelings towards the family aren't clouding my judgement with whether or not to make a CPS call, which is part of why I'm seeking advice here. This was my first full time nanny role, but ever since I started I could tell something was just off. Candidly, at first I largely attributed it to the level of money in the household and some different personality types of the family. The way the mom talked to the kids also never sat right with me but having never had children myself, at first I gave her some grace thinking she's tired, she's stressed, even with all of the help in the home having three young children must be a lot on her. But it would escalate to the level where she was really yelling at and cussing out these kids under the age of 2, even with nannies right there and offering to take over for her.
She would lose her temper on the kids for normal toddler and baby stuff (making too much noise, dropping food on the floor etc) and in one instance, I saw the mom forcibly drag the (at the time) 2 year old who was having a meltdown towards the bathroom, basically tossed her inside and slammed the door on her. I had to get her out because the child was throwing her whole body against the door and hitting her head on the door trying to get out and I was worried she would hurt herself. I heard from another nanny that on a day I wasn't there, there was an incident where the mom again lost her temper and very forcibly yanked the same child into the elevator (elevator is inside the home) by her arm, and had been holding her by the arm lifting her off the ground that way while screaming and cursing at her. Since I've left, a different nanny told me that the mom was angry at the 1.5 year old and put him out in the backyard with a pool and locked the door to come in since he was being too loud. She told the grandmother and that nanny who was in the room to leave him there and not to go outside with him. There was a gate around the pool and that nanny could see him from the window but said he was clearly trying to find a way into the gate (he loves the pool and is very much a water baby, but he certainly cannot swim.) Also since I've left, a nanny told me that the mom was reading a book to the 2.5 year old and the 1.5 year old was trying to come up on the couch with them. It was bothering the 2.5 year old, who was getting fussy, and the mom, who wanted alone time with that child. The nanny was coming to get the younger child from the other room and saw the mom forcibly push the 1.5 year old off the couch. He fell and started crying. The mom didn't know the nanny had seen this and acted like it was a total accident and he slipped saying "I told you to be careful!"
There are a few more instances where the mom hasn't known that a staff member saw what really happened and lied when a child got hurt or cried from something she did. She has a penchant for lying, usually white lies, in general, to the level that other family members comment on it. But I definitely don't think they know that the lying extends to when the kids get hurt. There's been other instances where she's taken a child to the doctor when they've hit their head and told other family members an inaccurate portrayal of what happened. None of these instances have occurred when the dad is in the home, and to my knowledge while he knows she yells at them and has a temper, he doesn't know it extends this far.
Another main concern of mine was the amount and the frequency to which she would give the children Tylenol at night (or tell myself or other nannies to.) This mostly started when she went down to only having one night nurse and she was exclusively for the youngest child (who was born while I worked there and 6 months by the time I left.) This mean that the mother was responsible for the other two older babies if they woke in the night. She would claim they were teething and needed tylenol, that they were sick, or that as a mom she just could tell they needed it, even when they were displaying no symptoms. Multiple night nurses and nannies told her it was too much and could damage their liver etc. but she insisted they needed it. One nanny, who is in school to be a nurse, kept track of the amounts and frequency and went to one of her professors, asking if this was okay (I only found that she did this after I left.) He told her, not knowing any additional info about the family, that it was a CPS case. To my knowledge she hasn't reported it, she's the only one I'm not still in close contact with and I just found this out recently.
In addition, the 2.5 year old gets recurring yeast infections, UTIs, and diaper rashes (she is the only child that the mother bathes herself and she does not properly clean her privates. The mother also is often the one with this child and the one changing her and will leave her in poopy diapers for hours and again will not properly clean her privates.) Since this child is the only child the mother does bedtime with, the 2.5 year old does not get her teeth brushed. At all. Unless myself or another nanny sneakily has her do it when the mom goes into another room or if we start bedtime early before the mom is there. If we said "time to brush teeth" etc when the mom was there, she would just say she doesn't need it or that's okay for tonight. None of the kids have been to the dentist either.
As far as car seats, they rarely use them. In fairness they're in NYC and rarely have a need, but when they do transport the two toddlers in an uber or with a driver, they will just sit the 2.5 and 1.5 year old kids on a lap, starting even when they were about 6 months younger. They instructed myself and the nannies to do the same and I said I wasn't comfortable putting an, at the time just under a 1 year old, on my lap in the car. The mom didn't like that answer but didn't push the issue with me. The (now) 6 month old does have a stroller that collapses into a car seat but when the mom is with him, she doesn't properly strap it into the car and will get upset if a nanny does. She just kind of puts it on the seat and holds it there.
All three kids also will have food taken away as a punishment (if they're too loud, throw any food on the floor etc.) Even when at an age where it was developmentally very normal to make a mess and throw food, if she was there at dinner time, she would take it away fro the kids or from the nannies and make sure the nannies took the kids upstairs to go straight to bed.
It's worth quickly noting without going into unnecessary details on this part that the first nanny they had before me quit for how the family treated her, and sent them a huge email detailing how to improve treatment of both staff and kids. A short term nanny before me quit for the same reason. The nanny they hired after me has now quit for the same reason. Out of the people who worked there when I did, multiple were on contracts and felt the same way but saw the contract through since it was shorter term. Many of these other nannies have children and or grandchildren and have been nannies for decades. I trust their judgement and all of them agree that certain things with the children are unacceptable. Some are wary of a CPS call because they want the family as a reference and some are just overwhelmed by working full time and having kids of their own. By now, only one nanny who was there when I was is still there. She is only there a few days a week and is trying to find another job but financially she just can't quit yet.
Most concerning of all to me is that recently, right after the latest nanny quit, the mother was telling one nanny how stressed she is and that she fears she might "hurt herself or the children." I believe her.
Most of me thinks this is on CPS, not me, to decide and to just place the call and do my part. Down the line, I may really wish I did. This is what I'm largely leaning toward. I used to worry that the kids would get taken away and put somewhere worse but after doing more research on CPS I highly doubt that much would happen at all. There isn't much to do since the parents need no financial or substance help. I'm not sure what someone from CPS would really even be able to do other than make note of it being alarming but not outright an unfit environment. But it matters to me that something is just on file. If this gets worse and another nanny, nurse, or teacher places a call, it may help to have something else on record. Or god forbid if one of the kids gets old enough to call.
What's making me hesitate is:
One of the other nannies has told me if I make a report that she'll join, and one is on the fence and stressed with her own kids and grandkids.
Overall, the dad knows some but not all of these issues. I think all parents and guardians involved deserve to know the full extent of what's happening with their children, in their home, and unfortunately a CPS report may be the only way for him to find out. The mom is already high strung and now is in over her head. I don't think she's a bad person but she needs help. So do her kids.
Any advice, thoughts, comments, or questions are welcome. I think I know what needs to be done, but I thought I would seek advice here first. I'm open to anything, even if it isn't what I thought, or letting me know I'm wrong about something. If you've read this whole thing, thank you so very much.
A mother I know, frequently live on tiktok, want watching her child. He climbed on to the balcony of their second floor apartment, jumped to the next balcony, and entered the neighbors home. He has done this more than once I found out. She has been investigated by CPS 3 times for other violations. When i mentioned i was surprised the neighbors hadn't called CPS, she freaked out and threatened me and my family. I think someone needs to report this, but now i have to worry about what she and her family may do to mine. They live in NYC in Brooklyn I think. I'm sure i can find the address. I have her full name and the name of the child. What do i do? Can i report anonymously? I'm at a loss. Help!
I'm 17, and have a 15 year old younger sister. We have an older one, but she doesn't particularly tie into the cps parts of the info om collecting. My mom has done plenty of stuff, from SS abuse (I and and little sister's disability, we literally pay the bills, no job since 2020ish), letting older sis claim us as dependents and splitting the return with her, a suspicious amount of fires in her lifetime with even worse actions before (even lying about what was in house), but this is obvi cps stuff, which idk if I understand if I'm getting the whole picture, but correct me if I'm wrong.
We have had medical neglect, not seeing doctors for years, I haven't seen a dentist since like yr20 or 21. We're abroad rn, and in an asylum case, this is the first healthcare we've seen in a year, because she put it off so long, because we were staying with her bf (we schedule flights home 19th, so I will be in the US to report) Bf's place is nasty, I have pics of it in one of its worse states. We moved into a hoarder's home in like 22-23, and that was nasty for a good while. I managed to get a vid of the listing.
She threatens our belongings, esp pets(which we haven't seen in a year, bc they're in the states with an aunt I didn't want them with) , and repeatedly does things I ask her. I have her threatening me, and admitting some dates on video, without her knowing. I'm in a country that allows you to record if you're included in the conversation, even if the other party doesn't know/consent, and the state I'm going to be in also is fine with it.
We also move like annually. There's only 2 places we've stayed longer than a grade or part of one and a full one. It's hard, because I was just a kid, obvi, and my sister has been manipulated into compliance as a coping mechanism (she's the "good kid", that gets dismissed, yelled at, and/or invalidated when she has emotions, and I'm the "argumentative" one, who's "just like [big sis]") she kicked big sis out at 14, actually abandoned a cat of hers, and big sis said she did drugs (mom is a heavy smoker, but I'm not sure how much to trust from sis rn tbh), and she learnt to manipulate people, just like mom. She's better, but barely, and deadnames me behind my back consistently.
I can only blame some of this on my mom's parental trauma, the moving, an abusive mom, etc. Her excuse for the medical stuff is how long it takes to set up doctors, and not having a car, which I'm not sure holds up in court.
I'm probably forgetting something, and this post is long, but I wanna know how much of this would up up in court, what cps can do, especially regarding I and my sister and our esp pets, even charges she'll be looking at, just on this part(I'm trying to understand how much she'll go down for, bc it motivates, but also just because 8m curious). Any stable fam have no space/hospitality left, bc of the mooching she pulled, and the rest are varying levels of toxic that would do similar things. If y'all want the state or country, I'll either edit or comment it.
Edit: I forgot to clarify. Yes I'm a US citizen, we are abroad in denmark. The only reason we even got put into the asylum system finally, is because I attempted, and a case worker had to do some mandatory reporting when I made it clear that we overstayed. We didn't move in with a hoarder, she bought a home previously owned by one, and we moved into it while it was still nasty, because it came with anything on the property, and it could've very easily given us diseases or infections.
I only recently learned that I was entitled to copies of CPS reports in which my children were listed as victims/where I was labeled as a perpetrator- so I didn't even see any CPS report until very recently.
I separated from my ex husband in June of 2022, and after that he began fighting me for full custody. To help his case, he called CPS on me numerous times- to report that I failed to take child to the dr for a runny nose, to report that child got MRSA solely because of "dirty and horrid conditions at mother's house", to report that I am still putting child in "hand me down" clothes despite him paying child support...but he also told the friend of court officials that he (my ex) is a victim of DV from when CPS was supposedly involved for me pushing him while he had our 1 year old child in his arms. An incident like that never occurred- but there is a CPS report in existence that says it did.
In a CPS report from February of 2022, it says that my ex and I got into a verbal argument that resulted in him trying to leave the home "until things calm down", but that I took the car keys from him, then prevented him from calling the police by taking his cellphone too. He said he then picked up the 1 year old child and went into the bathroom where I followed. He said he tried pushing me out of the way, but that I fell and hit my head. He also told CPS that I was in counseling for anger issues, but that I reported to him that counseling wasnt helping me. He also told CPS that he had been trying to get me to go to marriage counseling, but that I refused, and he asked CPS for assistance in forcing me to attend with him.
When allegations were read back to him, he said "thats all accurate" and went on to claim that I was arrested for domestic violence that day.
This report paints him as a victim while I look like a monster- but the report does not have a truthful statement because my ex struggles with honesty. These allegations were never read back to me at the time, and my own statement was never taken.
What actually happened that day;
I had an appointment to get to ~30 minutes prior to the altercation. There was no verbal argument that caused him to want to leave the house, I overheard him on the phone with his cousin (who was on speakerphone) and he was making plans to purchase crack with this cousin (he had a self diagnosed crack addiction, did not plan to stop using, he was gone for hours everytime he went out on a crack run- I was 100% against him smoking crack at all). We had one vehicle between the 2 of us, he knew about my appointment, kneq that I had to drive myself there, and he knew I was relying on him to watch the kids while I was at my appointment- so I snatched the keys from his hands before he could leave. Then he screamed into the phone (to his cousin) "call the cops, call the cops, she wont let me leave!"- so I took his phone and hung up to prevent him from sounding foolish. Then I went into the bathroom and locked the door. He kicked the bathroom door in while our 1 year old child remained in the living room and not in his arms (we had 2 bathrooms, he did not need access to this specific bathroom). He shoved me around in the bathroom and my head hit the toilet due to having been physically assaulted by him so I called the police. I was arrested for interfering with telecommunications because I was honest about the series of events that occured while he was not- I never made it to my appointment that day.
I was never in counseling for anger issues, I was seeing a therapist because he had been verbally and emotionally abusive the entire time I was married to him.
I was the one asking him to attend marriage counseling with me- because he cheated on me and gave me an STD while I was pregnant and failed to be honest about it. He refused to go to marriage counseling with me.
Is there any way to correct these inaccuracies, or does he really get to say whatever he wants with no consequences and have it remain part of mine and my childs permanent record?
Hi all, I am looking to obtain copies of CPS cases that were opened on my family, but more specifically me when I was a child. I read that in some cases in NYS, the records are kept until the youngest child in the home is 28. I have overshot that, but my nephew (who is now 29) lived with us on and off over the years. I'm wondering if it's even worth my time to try to see if the state still has any CPS records on file at this point since my nephew is a few months past 28. Does anyone know?
I got a call from CPS while my husband was involuntarily hospitalized for suicidal (see other post) so I assume it was the hospital that made a report after hearing about stressors in his home. I have high intensity conflicts with him when I’m very escalated and sometimes scream loudly, throw things, and have hit him on occasion. Escalation happens either when he is egging me on with insults, swearing, belittling, verbal abuse, etc or withdrawing from me when I crave resolution for a conflict or speaking up about my needs and I feel extremely unseen/unheard. I have possible undiagnosed autism/trauma response (psych evaluation pending)and have been seeing a therapist pretty consistently for 6 years. I recognize this is a problem and I’m totally willing to seek help. I don’t want our 14mo daughter growing up seeing this as normal HOWEVER she has never been harmed from these rage episodes. Everyone who meets her notes how sweet, social, and well-cared for she is. She’s very bright and ahead on her milestones. I was honest with our SW during the home visit about how I’ve had these behaviors before but when I hit my husband and spit on him while he was holding our daughter when she was a NB I was freshly postpartum and went to a hospital treatment program the following week. It has been over a year and I have not hit him or spit on him since. I learned to leave the house when I’m getting escalated which my husband does NOT support and says I’m abandoning my daughter and not putting her needs first. Our SW said the allegations against me were not substantiated, she just had to interview my husband and then she would close out the case. Fast forward to their meeting, he shows her the video from over a year ago where I can be seen spitting on him and apparently based on that meeting, she decided to open the case against me and have us to an intensive families first program where someone works with us for 10 hours a week for 4 weeks. This is for families where there is evidence of abuse and to prevent child removal. They would really consider removing my daughter from 2 loving parents and placing her God knows where based on a video from over a year ago? Wouldn’t the risk of psychological damage from removing her outweigh the potential risk of her staying with her family since there is absolutely no evidence of us abusing or neglecting her?
I don’t use this app very often, but I was hoping I could get some advice on what steps to take here.
My long distance girlfriend has a very large family, with 7 kids. Long story short, her parents suck, and basically every member of the home is uneducated with barely any common sense. Save for my GF, of course, who is the ONLY one with any concern about this situation.
The youngest member of the household, my GF’s 4-year-old sister, was born with a disorder which causes her teeth to be a lot more sensitive and have less dentin. I forget what it’s called. But the family (and ESPECIALLY mom) don’t seem to care AT ALL. The little girl walks around the home, drinking Coke and eating junk food. Because the parents just don’t give enough of a damn. The poor girl doesn’t even have a room of her own.
She’s already starting to put on weight for her age. She gets pain in her teeth every now and then and the parents do not care.
It’s not as though they can’t afford to take her to the dentist, either. They CAN. But they DON’T because mom is just plain negligent, and my GF can’t do anything about it.
Mom has straight up said that she is putting off putting the girl into school because she is worried that the school will call CPS when they see the state of the girl’s teeth.
We want to do something about it, but GF is concerned about her sis being removed from the home and doesn’t want her to end up in that system. I’m not sure where to go from here - any advice would help.
I’m just curious. Not sure if it’s allowed.
I’m not gonna get to much into it, but basically I (13m) believe my freind (13F) is being abused/neglected to an extent. I want to call CPS (or smt similiar idk.) but I fear that she would get in trouble by her parents if they found out. also, like I said I’m not going to get to much into it, but she has directly told me abt certain things, and i have other reasons to believe things are happening.
I urgently need to file a report to CPS, I won’t go too much into detail about the specifics of this situation but it it something that a lot of people have known about but turned a blind eye to for awhile now. Recently the matter has taken a turn for the worst and it is something that I no longer feel in good conscience that I can continue to ignore. I looked up online today how to file the report, I was hoping that it could just be done online so that it would not be traced back to me but their website insists that these matter need to be done via phone call and that I could simply just state that I am choosing to call anonymously. My question is how true is this? The people involved in this case are ones that I certainly do not want to be on the bad side of,and I fear for my own safety if it were to come out that I was the one who reported them. So how anonymous is the phone call? Do they write down the number that the call came from, or possibly even record the actual call itself so that my voice could be heard? I’m just wondering how I can go about this in total anonymity.
(This is a repost I originally posted in r/ChildOfHoarder)
Im 16 years old and in high school and live in Texas. My parents have kept a consistent number of 25-30 dogs and 10 cats from the time I was in 7th grade to now. It affects my daily life. Mostly all of my clothes have hair on them, I can’t go into my own kitchen or living room without stepping on animal feces or pee, the house always smells bad and is dirty so I cant invite anyone over, all of the cats (exception of like 2) are my responsibility and i spend hours everyday cleaning after them and watching them.
I guess i dont really have to share the details, though, thats more just me venting😓
Basically my house is very filthy at all times and can never stay clean. The dogs bark excessively, my parents yell at the dogs excessively. I have to watch cats and keep up their schedule and make sure they are played with enough. This makes working on school stuff at home very hard. I can’t just go to a library or somewhere because I don’t want those cats to be neglected. And i know they will be even if i ask my parents to do what i normally do for them.
My parents physically abuse the animals as well. I remember one time my mom got kittens that one of my cats had given birth to and put them in a very small dog carrier and left them outside in the 90 degree Texas heat for hours, all because they were meowing.. like baby cats do. We have some outside cats and when they have babies they have them in our cluttered garage (boxes, shelves, and random items are all against the walls) behind those items and many times they die from heat or im guessing are eaten by possums that go into our garage sometimes.
The dogs are excessive so obviously they are all neglected. When the dogs have babies, they are kept in small crates and only allowed outside for 5-10 minutes twice or three times a day to use the restroom. I remember my backyard used to have beautiful green grass when i was a kid, now there is no grass, a broken trampoline that the dogs tore apart, and glass, cigarettes, and beer cans everywhere as well as random blankets and clothes. The have a big crate in the backyard with a mattress in it and a tarp over it that they keep a dog in with its children when it gives birth. Sometimes, dogs have died because they (accidentally) left two incompatible dogs together outside and one killed the other. The last time we went on vacation, I had to come home to search for a dead dog (which i loved) outside in the dark with flashlights. We dont go on vacations often or really anywhere because they cannot leave all of our dogs alone. Its constant upkeep and id say torture.
I want to talk to my school counselor about possibly calling animal protective services on my address but im not sure if sharing all this information with them will result in a call the police because of the neglect and physical abuse. What should i do?
Thank you for reading about my life and taking the time to comment if you do, and im sorry it’s worded weird and unorganized.
Yesterday walking to my car I saw my neighbors kid (6/7yo) actively drowning a kitten in an inflatable pool. I stepped in and stopped him but there was not a single adult anywhere. Two kids who lived at the house with the pool were just watching. When I yelled for them to stop and youngest boy started screaming for me to get out of their house (I was in the street) over and over. His sister told him to stop and that the boy drowning the cat lived across the street. I asked him to get his dad since the cat ran into the underside of the car wedging itself in. He ran and got his older sister. I spoke to her, she let me know it was actually her kitten. She seemed so upset and defeated when we were finally able to get the kitten out she just stared at her like empty face/emotions and I just felt like this was not the first time. She then actually said he has hurt the kitten before and said she was getting her dad. I waited around and not a single adult came out. My husband called the cops as soon as we saw what the kid was doing but they didn’t show. Later in the night I spoke to my direct neighbor and told her just so she was aware since she has outside pets, she said the mother is experiencing addiction currently and isn’t really present. I am not trying to make anyone’s situation worse but I feel bad for the sister and the kids need a parent. Should I call about the boy or both houses since there was no adult supervision as 3 kids all under 10 were in a 3foot inflatable pool drowning a cat? This is in PA.
Also just to mention the boy tried drowning the cat three times before I ran over but the cat kept trying to get away and he would just grab it and repeat.
Apologies for the length, but I feel like my situation is so specific to where it’s all relevant.
I am a 17 year old boy from NH who was kicked out of the house by my mother about a month ago. I lived with my mother and stepdad, and 3 siblings who are younger than me, but all my stepfathers children. My father wasn’t active until later in my life, and even then, he isn’t in much of a position to help right now, as he isn’t a legal citizen and has other issues.
Where I used to live, I was briefly sexually, but mostly physically/emotionally abused. Beatings only resulted in black eyes rather than life threatening injuries, but the belittling as the “scapegoat” negatively affected me the most. On top of this, there was the purposeful neglect. I have been kicked out multiple times, and since 14 funded my own med/education/car/living expenses. I was not taken for routine medical/dental procedures. Despite wealth, I have years of backlogged medical/dental issues. I was usually ignored if I asked for anything. My household fought actively to prevent me getting an ADHD diagnosis despite me having a 2x familial risk (father AND mother got dxed late at 16, meds were lifesavers though sleep study recommended for suspicion of narcolepsy). There have been rare instances where while getting beaten, I feared for my life, but they were scattered.
This environment has negatively affected my school performance, and mental health to the point of me having a documented history of major depressive episodes, as well as GAD. When I got licensed and bought my own car, I made up my mind that I wouldn’t fear getting kicked out again as I built a 7k safety net. So when it eventually happened again, I just left. After 3 days, I crashed with a fam member who didn’t like me being on the streets, and for a month have lived in MA.
Right now, my mother is trying her best to hinder me, while simultaneously garnering my family against me. My graduation attempts are being blocked, mail intercepted (car registration being withheld), and I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out how I’m going to be stable, and go to community college this fall, as well as receive healthcare. I’ve researched resources available to me, and have secured legal counsel to get my GED as a McKinney-Vento student, however, they don’t have the resources to advise me on interfacing with DCF.
Mass’s resources for fosters seem like they’d really help me lead a somewhat normal life. Guardianship would put me back into the environment, as despite housing me, my aunt denies abuse has happened and try their best to appease my mother. As much as I love her, she doesn’t have the resources to raise a young adult with problems like mine at the moment. My future would be held against me whenever I was in conflict, bringing me back to square one. The ability to find subsidized independent housing, tuition assistance, MassHealth, and other resources really seem like they’d allow me to spread my wings. I could access dental care and therapy which I otherwise couldn’t. Focusing on school instead of survival would really help, too, especially as I aspire to be a physician. However, my legal aid is unable to provide support relating to filing with DCF, as it’s outside of their scope, and they rarely recommend it. Filing with them will place a lot of things outside of my control, and I have no idea who’d advocate for me if I didn’t have an attorney. I have no idea how I’d even make 100% sure my report would be substantiated. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and would love any ideas/suggestions on where to go next.
TL;DR: 17. Abuse/kicked out. How/Should I interface with CPS?
I read the rules and I’m not sure whether or not this falls under “this is not the place to make a report” so I’m sorry if it does, I’m trying to see if I might be able to make a report on my own behalf, but the prospect of actually calling scares me because I don’t want them to act without my permission first, and I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.
So, to the situation I’m in. I, 16f, (I live in Florida if that makes any difference) was living with my aunt after running from my grandmother’s house due to the psychological abuse I endured there. I lived with my aunt for 6 months before she kicked me out because she couldn’t handle me anymore (I have mental health issues she found weird and icky, never once did I ever do, say, or even think anything that might have threatened her, her husband’s, or her childrens’ safety.) So she kicked me out, and now I live in an efficiency. She was paying all of the rent until around two months ago. Now she’s making me pay 350 of the rent, which is quite frankly insulting since she’s the one who pushed me to run from my grandmother and she’s the one who chose to take me in despite knowing about my struggles, then she kicks me out when she decides she doesn’t want to deal with them anymore and makes me pay for it? Yeah, I’m feeling pretty insulted and offended.
My father has custody of me. I see him maybe once every couple of months, though recently it’s been more like 3 times a year. We call occasionally, maybe once every one or two weeks. He gets financial aid for “taking care of me” which I have seen exactly 16 dollars of in the past 6-7 years because he bought me some crackers and a pomegranate. My father has been committing fraud(?) in order to claim that I’m still dependent on him, such as making me write the wrong address on documents and (I’m pretty sure) falsifying records to claim that he still needs money to take care of me.
My aunt also committed fraud multiple times in helping him forge papers to claim said money, and lied to my landlord. They all think I’m 18.
I’m wondering as well what the procedures are once a child is taken (if I even qualify) because the only relatives I have that could take me are 1. My grandparents who I ran from (I cannot live with them. I would not survive it.) 2. Their son who lives in Alabama and treats his kids even worse than my grandmother treated me, 3. My dad’s brother in Orlando who hates my guts, or 4. Some relative in Illinois I’ve heard of but have never met.
The only people I’d ever be willing to go with are my friend and their mother who have offered me a place to stay if I need it and said they’d be more than happy to welcome me in for as long as I need (it’s truly baffling to me how family can have so little regard for one as a human being while someone who have little to no connection to can love and care for you more than they ever have) but I don’t know if or how I’d be able to go with them. I’m unwilling to go into foster care because I’d have to leave my job and school, and I fear what may happen to me in the system. I’m starting to feel unsafe in my own home as well because I’ve been told by multiple people that my landlord looks at me weirdly and that I should be careful around him. I don’t feel comfortable anymore knowing he has a key to where I sleep.
Sorry for the rambling— do any of you know if I could make this work? I’m so angry and hurt by my family, and they continue to lord this over my head as if I owe them— I just want to get away to someone I trust.
So my spouse and received a call/letter that 2 of our grandchildren were placed in foster care in another state. We are more than willing to get them but for now we can only talk on the phone with them. Question 1: We were told it was for protective custody does that mean that the investigation yielded guilt on the parents part? Question 2: what is the likelihood of us being able to get them if they are in a different state?
So I have a hard caseworker whom lies and absolutely hates me. I had a drug test Monday, she came and tested me yesterday. Today got really hectic and I realized an hour too late that I forgot to call for my color…. I did, my color was called to get to the testing site. I’m extremely concerned and nervous. This is the first week I’ve been asked to do this. I called her supervisor and left a VM, emailed my caseworker, and called several places to see if I can get a late night drug test. I’m terrified and looking for insight. Thank you.
Edit to add: I took a supplement that secretly had kratom in it. I didn’t even know what kratom was. I had a lot of pain and am an idiot. Baby was born and we both tested positive. I’ve been sober from alcohol for two years, and this was all a shock. And my negligence. I take full accountability.
I have a niece - actually a cousin’s daughter, but she’s like a niece to me - who has 2 boys, ages 6 and 5 (birthdays in June). Neither have been to any kind of school before (I know!). She and her husband are both high school grads but struggle with day to day life. He works and then games all evening. She doesn’t work, doesn’t drive, and they are living in a camper in his parents’ yard - because the parents won’t let them stay in the house.
Her parents - my cousin - has learning disabilities, and my cousin’s ex didn’t graduate from high school. I know my niece has learning issues. I assume her husband does.
I’ve been encouraging her to get the boys signed up for school this fall. They are currently living about an hour away from me. The oldest is a bright kid and would thrive in school. The youngest is not yet fully potty trained, barely speaks and needs intervention.
I have provided her with the school numbers to get enrolled - since early July, along with housing info, and nothing has happened - she hasn’t called anyone. I spoke with her yesterday and she’s been waiting to until they get a place to enroll them. I told her she can’t wait - school starts in 2 weeks - she has to enroll them now for the address where they are at now (and I know that youngest kid is going to need an IEP - she’s never taken advantage of any of the resources our county has to offer.)
I guess my question is - at what point does this become an issue that I can call someone for help on? And who should I call? The school district? CPS? I’m just so worried about those boys.
(We’re in Michigan BTW).