u/Useful_Strawberry_67

The urge to like or love someone isn't really something within our control. And though the choice on whether to keep or not keep loving someone looks like it's within our control, it's dependent on our past experiences and our natural instincts. And those past experiences and lessons were taught to us by our parents and our environments. These lessons were instilled in us whether accidentally or not, without our say in the matte, like a child going to school.

I know it's a sensitive subject especially when it comes to romantic relationships, sex and whatnots, but the whole discussion surrounding the obsession movie in regards to autonomy is making me think a bit,.....

If someone was to change a choice you never had, making you like A instead of B, is that really them taking away your autonomy when you never had a sense of choice when it came to that thing?

Anyway, that's not to say that I want people forcing themselves on others, NO!!, I just find the whole "he took away her autonomy" argument a bit inaccurate when we don't really have a control over that.

Even when it comes to pooping, eating, sleeping etc, as long as we live, we can't choose not do them. And usually how and when we do them is based on what our body allows.

And I think because we don't all have the same urge to survive or do stuff, it's not a one size fit all, it makes it come off as though we each have free will, when it's more an illusion of choice. A choice bound by our bodies, a choice bound by circumstances.

Anyway, what do y'all think?

Recently I have been watching some BLs and wondering, why will someone put themselves through such disrespect? The Grumpy character is usually a dick right from the very first interaction but yet still the sunshine admires them?!!, Like have some self respect.

Am I the only one who feels like this or is starting to feel like this about this trope? It's made it harder to watch tropes like that. The lack of self respect is astonishing.

Btw, this is not exclusive to Thai Bls. It applies to other countries and Gls as well, basically romance stories overall. And some bromance.

The story is good and I like it a lot, but the male lead, Ning Changjiu, gives nothing.

I love the female leads; both the girl in red, Zhao Xiang'er, and the one in light blue, Lu Jiajia, but with the dude......

Throughout the story, the male lead sits in the background as some powerful, smart person but when it came to his turn to show his smartness and capabilities (with saving the little girl from the big demon), he was sloppy. His plan weren't as well executed as the girl in Red. It was choppy.

All that setup, quiet brodding in the background for that? I wasn't impressed with him. I was impressed more with the lady Red. Her part of the story is the best. The way she planned her fight with the big demon was just so good to see. She is indeed a calm headed, crazy girl.

I'm mainly talking about the early episodes in season 3 when Cece finds out that Schmidt was cheating on her. I expected the next few episodes after that, to be about Jess being there for her best friend, Cece, but I never saw that. I'm surprised how Jess still stayed friends with Schmidt. There was no anger, no frustration, nothing. She even came up with an idea on how to cheer him up (in episode 6) cos she didn't like seeing him sad. Her friend got cheated on, but the cheater is the priority?

The episodes up to that point has all been about feeling sympathy for Schmidt, and not the other female main character that he hurt. It's ridiculous.

Because the plot wants us to like Schmidt so bad, it makes every character bend to his will. All he does, is throw a hissy fit like a little child even though he is in the wrong.

I liked the show the first time I saw it, but I can't stand it on this rewatch. Continuing it, will not be good for my mental health. As some people have suggested, it's time to let go.

Disclaimer; I'm rewatching the show and I have not made it past season 2. everything that I say, is based on that. Okay then.......

Nick was an "I can fix him" for Jess. I read on here somewhere that Jess never dated outside her race and I think that makes sense as to why she latched on to Nick so strongly. Of the three roommates, Winston was out cos of the obvious. Schmidt was out too cos he was successful and assertive. The only viable option for Jess, was Nick. He had issues, a lot of them, and he wasn't ideally successful either.

There was an episode where Jess was unsure about dating the old man with the white hair, and Cece basically told her that maybe her mixed feelings, could be because the man wasn't somebody she could fix and that Russ (I hope that's his name), was someone she wouldn't have to take care of.

It makes me wonder if the teacher in her, just likes "projects" that she can fix. Cos we see it with her students as well, for example her teaching detention students to play bells episode, and the singing to stop bullying episode. It seems she applies that same mentality to her romantic relationships.

And maybe that's why even though Sam was a better fit, she still self sabotaged that relationship. Nick may have initiated the kiss but she kissed back, and later described it to Cece, as phenomenal. That kiss ruined her relationship but yet still she easily forgave Nick in that same episode, and even tried flirting with him in the next, for a car spot. You would think the wound would be too fresh for all of that.

Yes, Sam was a better fit. Atleast for the fact that he wasn't constantly in a screaming match with Jess, as Nick ALWAYS. IS.

Y'all remember the "I'm the boyfriend without the rewards" episode. Yeah.....

Anyway, I know it's sitcom but it's still of characters who have behavior patterns and personality that we can talk about or analyze. This is getting way too long so I'm going to end it here.

I don't think I need to explain any further. And usually in his ripper state, based on what I can remember, it comes with his humanity being turned off, exonerating him of any damages he may cause. It's a cheap cop-out.

Also it's kinda weird when he tries to "force" new vampires to feed on animal blood when the only reason he does it, is cos of the ripper stuff. And he is like a 100 plus years old. he has already lived out his ripper/ non ripper days.

It's like someone who lived their entire life drinking and partying, basically having a major night life, telling you to not engage in any of those stuff and that you should be like them, a 70 year old man who is into gardening. And they judge you if you don't. It's interesting how the lesson comes after they have already lived that life.

You know when you watch a show that attempts at being diverse but it still looks white, that's what I get from New Girl. Anyway this is my opinion but if you are going to downvote, go right ahead.

Disclaimer; I'm currently rewatching the show. I'm somewhere in the middle of the second season, so every thing I say is based off that knowledge.

Anyway, Ranking based on the characters importance, we have Jess, Nick, Schmidt, Cece and Winston. This is based on the importance of their role or how much they got going on.

SIDENOTE; I was actually surprised by how much less we see Jess and Cece's friendship compared to Jess and Nick, when the former has been friends way longer and are supposed to be "sitcom girlfriends". I wonder,...... would Cece have had a relevant presence in the show if she wasn't in a relationship with Schmidt?

Anyway, It's also convenient how Jess is paired with Nick, Schmidt with Cece, but Winston isn't paired with anyone from the main cast. It's just convenient how that worked out. The dark skinned black man conveniently is paired alone.

And the one woman that we see him date so far, Shelby, had less of a screentime than the other side characters that Nick and Jess dated. And we never saw her with the entire friend group like how we did for the lawyer Nick dated, or the men Jess dated like; the violin guy, the doctor for kids ( I have forgotten the name for that job) or the old man with the car. I don't know if her having to be a black woman had anything to do with that, but it's just convenient.

Also white people only dating white people, and black people only dating black people in the show, is also kinda convenient. I don't remember who Winston ends up but anyway...... I noticed that and I hope this community will cool. You don't have to agree with me, let's be cool and have a simple discussion.

I'm currently rewatching New Girl and I notice that eventhough Nick is the main male lead, it's actually Schmidt. I notice the same thing in Friends; it's supposed to be Ross but Chandler takes charge.

These 2nd male leads are usually the most successful financially and relationship-wise. They usually have more of stable romantic relationship more than the main dude. And they usually get a better character development, in terms of certain questionable behavior pattern that they had before. And since most sitcoms are like romcoms, it presents them more as the "suitable" main leads.

Am I reaching or is there some truth to this? Are there other sitcoms or normal dramas that you can think of where the 2nd male lead, has more of a better arc or writing or romance or something more than the main lead?

Side note; I think the same applies to Leonard vs Howard from Big bang theory, even Sheldon and Leonard is the main male lead. Howard got a better story and stable romantic relationship at least for most of the series run, than the other two. I use Leonard as the standard because he had a romantic endgame with the main female lead.

I watch a lot of Chinese costume animes and the heros of most of them, don't feel like heros. They do exactly as the villain would but because we are shown a sad background story of theirs, the writers think that's enough to excuse their ruthlessness. It's not.

And on a normal day, I wouldn't be bothered by a protagonist not necessarily being good, but when the writer keep telling us that the character is good but their actions shows that of a villain, it honestly annoys me.

And sometimes the only thing that differentiate between the hero and the villain, is the way they are drawn facially.

Please help me understand something.

In the whole Ross and Rachel "we were on a break" situation, most fans blamed Mark for things he didn't even do, But yet still in the situation between Kathy, Joey and Chandler, excuses are still made for how Chandler acted.

how is Mark at fault when he made no advances towards Rachel whatsoever when they were dating, to even go as far as kiss her, but Chandler gets away scot-free when he kissed the girl his best friend was going out with?

He was so in love with a girl that he had known for less than a week that he jeopardized a friendship of many years over it. I still see fans ship Kathy and Chandler together and I'm always like, what?

Cos even though Joey didn't have much of a reason to be mad at Kathy since they were not exclusive, it's still odd for her to kiss his friend. Why go out with someone who is likely to kiss your friends behind your back?

So later on when Kathy cheated on Chandler, it wasn't even that surprising to me cos she had a track record. And Chandler suspecting her of that or basically pushing her to it, wasn't surprising as well due to his track record. He too is a bit a cheater. Most characters in friends tend to cheat a lot or at the very least, exist in grey areas.

Anyway the question is, is that not hypocritical?

Ross getting married to Emily should have been more of a closure for Rachel, rather than an "I still love him" moment.

The man got married to a woman he had known for barely three months, but never even proposed an engagement or fancy dinners to you, the one that he had had a crush on for so long, and had dated for a year. That should have been a wakeup call that this man did not care for you as much as he claimed.

And the main reason why he decided to get married to Emily, in my opinion, was cos she was leaving. And you know Ross, he can't have that so he needed trap her, I mean propose lovingly to her.

He did a similar thing years later in season 10, when Rachel was leaving for a better job or when she got a better job in season 3, during the "we were on a break" argument.

Rachel should have respected herself a lot more when it came to Ross. Why constantly yearn for a man that doesn't trust you, manipulates you during arguments, disregards your job and tries to dictate who you are friends with? Why?

Whether they were on a break or had officially broken up, doesn't change the fact that it's all still Ross's fault.

1. He simply wanted Rachel all to himself.

Y'all remember when he called her "just a waitress", and even referred to her new job "just a job", knowing well enough that this was something Rachel has been wanting for so long. For someone that says that he loves her, he didn't show.

2. And yes, his previous relationship makes sense as to why he was jealous of Mark but it doesn't justify it. It would have been ungrateful for Rachel to cut Mark off when he was the one that got her her dream job, not Ross btw, and he was the one that had to train her on it when she did not have much or any work experience. I don't remember a single time that Rachel disturbed Ross at his work.

3. Ross never listens to Rachel whether it's her telling him she was busy that work,

Or that there was nothing between her and Mark,

Or when she and Monica told Ross to trust her.

He only sees what he wants to see. He pushed Rachel to her limits and blamed her when she reacted.

And 4. Ross choosing to have sex with a girl he had once complimented on her looks, is sus. looking back, it feel like his attitude towards Rachel and Mark was more of a projection of what he would have done.

5. Ross had no respect for Rachel. They've known each other for a long time but yet still, she couldn't give her grace to explain herself, he had sex with someone minutes or hours after their fight, and tried to hide what he had done when Rachel tried to get back together the very next day.

We were all too focused on "We were on a break/ We had broken up" argument that we failed to realized that, it didn't matter. Everything leading up to and after the fight, showed clearly who was at fault. They should have never been endgame. They were not right for each other.

All the characters suck to a degree but one thing I like about all the them, is mostly their honesty and straightforwardness, though at the same time, they all lie a lot and screw each other over. That part I don't like.

Anyway, favorite to least favorite;

1. Dee is my favorite. She is funny. Has great reactions to jokes. Mostly tolerable.

2. Dennis: he is like the glue that holds the entire group together. He is catalyst that makes everyone shine.

3. Frank; funny and charming which makes him deadly.

4. Charlie; his character shines when paired with the top three, but other than that, he is mostly yelling.

5. Mac; Too needy. His character in the earlier season were fun though.

The show in my opinion is a bait. It's hypocritical so many times

1. They show no representation for the people that they use as political wheels to further their series. They know how it is to be racist towards black people but not other races. They only started to care in later season.

2. In early seasons, They use black people politics to further their shows but had and still has no main black character or even a black recurring character, but which each year, they keep increasing the number of white recurring characters.

3. For a show that is supposed to be "satire" and progressive, they do treat their only female lead as trash. They even turned Charlie's constant harassment of the waitress into something that she need......???

They consciously choose to be misogynistic towards women but knows when to call out racism and homophobia. And even in trying not sound racist or homophobic, they sometimes still end up sounding like one.

4. Political or social lessons from the main characters are always hypocritical as they do not practice what they preach. They are literally murders, engage in destruction of properties and whatnots, Things that they should be in jail for but for some reason, we audience, we root for them, rather than their victim. The bad characters in the show get the glory rather than their victims, episode after episode. We never get a story focused on their victims.

5. "No, we are laughing at them, not with them", that just sounds like an excuse, a justification for rewarding bad behavior. I'd rather audiences admit that there is something, maybe not all, but something about their behaviour that we like, rather than that ☝️excuse. Cos you would not watch a 10+ seasons of a show which has a main character that you do not like or you think is the worst of the worst.

In conclusion, I like the show when they try not to be political or use certain oppressed groups as baits cos obviously, you can tell they don't really care.

I want more respect for Dee's character cos that joke is played out. She is basically the Meg of Family Guy. IASIP