u/Vegetable_Security_3

mind you my surgeon never once informed me that this was a possibility, even looking on my xray and could easily see that my nerves were wrapped around my bottom left wisdom tooth. just told me afterward that i could be experiencing some numbness. my entire chin and lower lip is dead weight. it makes it very hard to distinguish actual pain at this point because all i feel is this mass of tingly, off putting skin on the bottom of my face that radiates to my jaw. it’s day 5 and i suppose it’s gotten “better” in that it is no longer 100% dead and numb and is now pins and needles horrible sensation.

i just got out of surgery and the surgeon mentioned how i had a nerve wrapped around my bottom right tooth and it would be “tingly” for a bit. i’m in such horrible pain with it. i didn’t know i had a nerve issue it’s agonizing. what tf do i do. i was given narcotics at least i just took a hydrocodone.

i’ve dated a lot of men in my life, i am attracted to men. but no matter how long we date i always feel like im fulfilling some idea of a woman, some idea of a girlfriend or a partner rather than being authentically myself. i’ve never really had male friends growing up, ive always had extremely intense and emotionally intimate female friendships usually with only one “best friend” and those are the people that i feel the most comfortable and myself around. it’s making me miserable. i’ve had enough bad experiences with men abusing me, neglecting me as a child, or just in general being shitty that it seems no “decent” guy is enough to heal any of those wounds to the point of me feeling comfortable. i just don’t think im able to ever feel as close to a man as i am to a woman. how could they ever understand me so deeply and innately as a woman does?

i am bisexual but ive never done anything with women. i’d say im an 80/20 bisexual, i mostly date and am attracted to men. i had a girl i was friends with in college that i was madly in love with and i never did anything to make a move and i think of her all the time. i wish i could just be lesbian. i cant imagine getting married to a man and spending my whole life with a man. i dont know what to do.

i’ve never been a huge soda drinker, it always made my stomach upset and had way too much sugar even for me as a kid but i lurrrrved a dr pep. tried some last night as i was missing her and was nauseous, bloated, burping and sugar crashing. fast forward to today and we have now entered diarrhea station. who among us has not sharted our underwear a wee bit while escaping to the bathroom? i am able to eat many more things than i used to, but it appears soda is still a big no for me. heartbreaking. am now a crampy, bloated, diarrhea mess.

this has been chatted about frequently and i can understand the mechanism and everything but how do you guys fix this? it’s ONLY once im trying to sleep, i pee like 4x a day during the day, very normal amount. nighttime though? 8 times before sleep sometimes. have u ever tried to sleep when you had to pee? it’s an oxymoron. and it’s not actual liquid, it’ll just feel like my bladder is exploding and it’s like a two second stream. drops even. i’m over this i already struggle with sleep and it makes my dog pissed at me for always getting up and waking him. i’ve tried to cut fluids after a certain point and it makes no diff.

this used to happen occasionally but the last few nights have been BRUTAL. like going to bed at 3 am from pain brutal and i already struggle with insomnia. it’s like achey feeling in my arms legs and chest and nothing helps. i’ve read a couple other posts about suggestions to help this but i was wondering if anyone else has this and knows what it means. took some magnesium last night as i read that helps but nothing. i’m about to try going to sleep and i’m just so irritable thinking about it. i have no pain during the day and i even nap during the day, nothing. it’s just at night.

i’m gonna preface this by saying i know im an idiot. i’ve had recurring tonsil stones for the last 8 months out of nowhere, used to get them as a kid but for some reason they’ve come back. tried to use q tips but my crypts are so mf deep and i could feel this one with my tongue and it was driving me nuts so in a fit of anger and desperation i used tweezers. first time was fine, in and out easy peasy big ass stone but i got cocky and there was still some left so i went fishing a bit and got a bit of blood going. not a lot but enough to freak me out. will not be doing this again, just want to know if ive fucked myself really bad somehow. again usually my tongue is all i need to get them out but this was a real stubborn one.

so i’ve had pots since 2022. the first three years (living in california) i was doing fine. i would get episodes of fatigue or stomach problems etc. but i always made it through. i even got covid twice and fucking MONO for the first time in 2023 and i still completely recovered to baseline. ever since last october i have been worse. i can’t say it’s gotten worse since that initial episode in october but it certainly hasn’t returned to my usual baseline. it just sucks. i never had to go on medication before but i now feel like i should. i’m so fatigued in my muscles im so out of breath my palpitations suck ass, i have brain fog that i’ve never ever had before. i didn’t have any illness that triggered this worsening that i can think of. i’m incredibly diligent about covid tests and flu tests and i had a bad cold back in late august but again i recovered. i know sometimes these things can have a delayed reaction but i just don’t understand.

things that changed around that time are that i moved back home to montana. montana is worse than cali in MANY ways: the weather is more extreme (i don’t have problems with heat intolerance so cali was fine for me), i lost all my close friends i made in college as they moved back to the east coast after we graduated, i started a job as an in home caregiver that can definitely be very taxing on me, and ive been dating someone that threw my regulation off more than a few times. we’re in a better place now but with so few answers its so hard for me to not be like honestly fuck this dude i don’t need this.

has anyone else’s pots gotten inexplicably much worse? from everything ive read for most it gets better or at least stays the same. i’ve looked into me/cfs but i have no trigger that would cause it to my knowledge. plus my PEM is very inconsistent if PEM is what im experiencing (i went to california to visit for a few days and did SO MUCH walking around and energy exuding and i had zero flare up besides usual pots stuff). doctors here really fucking suck. i’ve looked into mono reactivation, nothing. HIV even, nothing. recent covid infection, nothing. routine vitamin labs and bloodwork, thyroid normal iron normal everything normal. it’s just insanely disheartening. i feel so stuck. i feel like there’s something going on internally that just keeps flaring my pots up cyclically and it won’t stop.