u/VioletCrystal12

Firstly, I'm not completely sure if it's ADHD OR depression. I feel that it's more ADHD, though I can be wrong. For a long time, like at least a year, I've been highly unmotivated to better myself. Things feel 'heavy' per se. Like being unable to climb up a steep hill. I really seem to lack the energy to do that much. It's only when I'm FORCED that I will do whatever task I need to do. It's funny that lately I've been having ambitious ideas. Like about changing the world by finding clean energy and finally changing my life for the better. Note that I have a history of psychosis. It was all in my head. All I want to do is lay in bed and be on my phone. I am kinda addicted to my phone. I am on various meds that are SUPPOSED TO give me energy and motivation. They don't. I'm on Vyvanse, Wellbutrin, Antipsychotic (iloperidone), and I recently started effexor. The other day, I swore that my depression was finally cured as well. That wasn't true, it seems. How do I increase my mental and physical energy? Is it what I eat as well?

Maybe I'm overthinking this. I kinda feel unusually good. Though, I still lack the energy to complete my ideas, such as turning my life around for the better. I also feel that my depression might have been cured. Does anyone else feel like they are high on life during psychosis, but not like in a bipolar sense. I just feel it's kinda sus. Perhaps it's from the extra dopamine?

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Hello,

I've been experiencing anxiety in certain situations like interviews. I get so anxious, and I think it's at least part of why I can't get a job. Not the only reason, such as the shit ass job market. I would stutter, talk fast, and just general physical anxiety. I think taking some clonidine (0.1 mg) might help. I would like to know what other ppl's experiences with this medication. I also read online that it's also used for ADHD, which I have. Does anyone also have ADHD and use this medication?

I am really struggling to get a job now. It's been nearly a yr. I have gotten interviews, yes. I felt confident in this interview, and I still got the rejection email. I'm kinda crying. Idk what the hell I'm doing wrong. I practiced a lot. I told them about my experience and answered their questions about my experience. I really need a job. I do have anxiety during interviews, but I felt I did well. Ig I'll forever remain unemployed for who knows what reason. I prepared and practiced every single day. That's apparently not good enough. Wtf am I doing WRONG?!

I had an interview with Pfizer for bench scientist 1. I'm struggling with anxiety and my inability to remember details. I've put so much effort into getting my degrees, and I'm now unable to get any career. The fact they didn't give me a direct answer of when they will get back to me and the next steps basically means I'm not getting an offer. I did review and practice. None of that even matter. I'm tired of just failing and failing. I really try, but it'll never be good enough. All because of my anxiety and my shitty memory. I feel so sad and like a failure. I'll never succeed in life. What am I supposed to do?

I was questioning if I was already dead last night. I thought about "What if I'm in hell?" Or perhaps the afterlife. I've thought about this before last night. I asked myself to the point that I felt somewhat convinced that I'm already dead. Perhaps I'm just that depressed?

DAE?

Additional question: If I'm actually dead and in the afterlife, can I 'die' again?

I finally stopped hallucinating bc I found an appropriate dose of antipsychotic. That being iloperidone aka fanapt. I also noticed that I still have paranoid thoughts. The key difference is how obsessed I am over the delusions. I feel I get over paranoia quicker than before. The thing is that I still have some paranoid thoughts. I am also unable to shake off the delusion that my siblings are demons in disguise. For my paranoid thoughts, it's typically about poison, spies, being possessed by evil, etc. My main question is the following:

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Is it normal to have residual symptoms of psychosis? My doctor said that I'll have some of these delusional thoughts at times. I want someone who has experienced psychosis to chime in regarding this.

I am a complete dumpster fire, and I feel that things will never get any better. I'm both depressed and psychotic (with insight). I'm either having paranoid thoughts in my head, such as my family wanting to poison me with arsenic or I'm too depressed to anything. I hate my family. I still and will always see my siblings are literal demons with human forms. I feel that my dad is spying on me, which is true. He overhears like everything and has a ring camera. Perhaps I'm just a lazy ass. I can't seem to find any motivation to do anything productive. I'm too depressed to get a life. I have gotten to the point that I feel I should die. (I'm too scared to actually do it) I'm tired of my life. There's absolutely no hope of getting better and getting myself a life. It's my horrible family making me into a dumpster fire.

Tbh I am more concerned about my depression than my psychosis. At least I have good beliefs, like about me having magic powers. At least that makes me feel special opposed to a piece of junk.

I hate my life. There's absolutely no hope for me.

I was on Lexapro for ages, and for a while it didn't do anything. I had dark thoughts and low mood, and I started to just not 6 about my life, body, or future. Tbh I don't think any medication will actually help but ok. My head feels heavy, and I feel nauseous. I started on 37.5 mg. I'm being weaned off Lexapro at this time. (20 --> 10 mg)

Will these side effects go away? I really feel like shit! I did eat breakfast and then took the effexor.

Hello,

I'm confused about the difference between stpd vs. a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia. I've been getting episodes of psychotic symptoms (supposedly) for three years, and no doctor ever came to a conclusion to explain me symptoms.

Basically I got:

Religious delusions (Such as being hyperfixated on my siblings are actually demons with human forms/vessels and that they have mind control powers.

Also that God summoned me and wants to give me a special message or missions

I also have paranoid thoughts about the other demons. These demons are different and are from outside the house. They want my magical blood

Things about magic:

I have magic powers and magical blood

Paranoia:

My dad is spying on me, for example

Mind reading too

The thing is that antipsychotics don't do anything, so I'm questioning if this is not 'real' psychosis but stpd.

My symptoms started in my 20s

I also seem to hallucinate. Sometimes, I see things that are just not there for a few seconds. Like a man, mothes, random objects, etc. I think my hallucinations are real all the time. My hallucinations are not as common as the other symptoms above.

At this point, I feel that I must come to terms with my thoughts. The ones about the demons and the spying. I keep thinking about the demons and them coming for me. One reason in addition to being demonic is bc they want me blood. My blood is magical. Being magical makes me feel that I am actually special and not a piece of garbage. I've tried so many pills for this. Nothing seems to really do anything beneficial. I think I'm getting used to it. I don't feel that scared tbh. It's just the way I think now. So yeah, this is my life now. I don't want to up my meds bc prolactin anyways. I feel that this is ok to think this way. As long I'm calm, right?

Today, while walking outside, I had a creepy thought occur. I kinda just stood there on the sidewalk thinking about the following thought/ feeling. My mind was telling me that one of my online friends was seeing what I was seeing like they were in my body for a like less than a min. It feel like they took over my body. This isn't the first time I've had this. It's creepy. Ppl are saying I'm having delusions lately. Perhaps this is just another one?

Is magical thinking ok to have. Why or why not? I'm not doing anything bad.

I might drink wine today. What are the risks of me mixing ibuprofen and alcohol?