u/Weary-Way4905

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaJQrvNSfZ-/?igsh=cHB2N2xmdnVkZjlx

Seriously!! How do ya'll pray then???

السلام عليكم

لي صديقة علاقتنا مو قويه بس بحكم نعرف بعض من شخص مشترك. نسولف مرات و نلتقي من وين لي وين

وهي حامل وصتني انا و البنات على الاغراض الي ناقصتها. احنا سألناها على اساس لا نييب هديه عندها اياها.

المهم، من دشت الشهر التاسع قلت لها انا مسافره بس ان شاءالله يوم تولدين اكون راجعه. يعني ما قلت لها اي يوم ردتي.

ولدت، و مادزت لي! و سوت استقبال!! دريت بالصدفه شفت الستوري مالها و كان باقيله جم ساعه و يختفي! عاد دزيت لها مبروك والحمدلله على سلامتج. وانا ان شاءالله بس ارد اعطيج هدية البيبي.

وهي قعدت تتحلطم عن المستشفي و تشتكي والي مرت فيه!! و يابت طاري ان سوت استقبال!! زين اذا ماتدري انا بالكويت او لا ليش ماتبلغني؟

و تسولف عادي كأن ماصار شي!!

المهم انا رديت و بعطيها هديتها. بس الموقف هذا عادي؟؟؟ يعني اذا تعرفين وحده مسافره ماتبلغينها؟؟ وهاصه انج موصيتها على هديه معينه!! و لااا يوم سألتها اخر المكالمه ماتوصين شي ؟ قالت لي ملابس حق اليهال من عمره كذا و كذا!!!

I saw a "funny" video on Instagram today where a female talks how siblings' relationships. How they abuse (the word she said) each other and they would always break their siblings confidence. Never give a compliment to their faces. But will leave everything for them if that siblings needed them.

And it got me thinking if I was really too sensitive as I was always told by my whole family!! I am estranged from my siblings after I cut off my mother because she turned my brother against me. I had a close relationship with this specific brother. The only one out of my 4 siblings I always visit and call. We had issues in the past due to his anger issues but things have changed as we both grew older!! He cut me off after I said I will no longer accept his and our mother's accusations. He called me names and blocked me. My other siblings simply disappeared. However a sister reached out few weeks ago on my birthday after 2 years nc!! Saying happy birthday, hope all is well. I said thanks. She sent anoth3r msg and honestly I still didn't open it. Because in the past 2 years I was reflecting on how everyone treated me. This sister specifically always says the meanest things to me. Always breaks my confidence. Never gives a compliment. Even when I got engaged her mood shifted and she was super mad at me all the time for no reason!! That she kept saying how she won't attend my wedding because she has work!! Work which she never taken seriously!! She came to the wedding and also gave a heard time. But when I had medical issues she would always come to take me to the hospital. And that made me think of the video!! Is that normal!!! I don't know what a normal siblings relationship is like!! My other sister who is 10 years older that me always complains if I achieve anything! For a whole year after I gave birth she kept making mean comments about my weight even though I was fit !!! Just had back to back babies and both were c-secrions so I wasn't able to do abs workout. She would comment infront of everyone how I still look pregnant!! A whole year!!! When I would visit my mother I used to ask if she will be there so I won't go and my mother would say I am too sensitive. I just feel there was no love at all and sometimes I think maybe I am the one who has no love for them!!

Imam Hussain as, was stomped by crooked horses or as we call them in Arabic الخيول الأعوجية. I always assumed they are called that way because they have stomped the body of Imam Hussain as. The grandson of the prophet pbuh. Basically thought the name came after they have stomped. I just learned that these horses have horseshoes that each one of them weighs 65 kg!!!!! These horses are used to crush things!!!!

Even though all those years I knew it was horrible what they did to him, but knowing this is just unexplainable.

Al salamu Alaika ya aba abdullah 💔💔💔

Estrangement isn't new, bur I guess the Internet made ir seem like something our generation started.

I have an uncle I have never met in my 40 years!! My family never spoke about him. The only reason I know he exists is because my mother brought him up twice in my entire life!! Once mentioning the oldest brother, and the second tike mentioning something about where his about ! My cousin told me he finally asked his father (my uncle about him), and the response was (he is such a trouble maker!) Mentioned one bad incident I can't even recall and that's it!!

It makes me think how true is that? As I am now labeled "trouble make" and also, how lucky is he? He just vanished before there were smart phones and Internet.

This is one uncle, in one family. Think about all "the uncles and aunties" we don't know about because they chose estrangement in a time when there was no form to contact them!!

I am completely NC with mother who was always abusive and manipulative. Because of that my whole family cut me off. My siblings were always awful as they treated me exactly how my mother did. My father because abusive when I turned 19 and got way worse (he once apologised saying he doesn't even know why he does what he does)!!!

Anyways, I staid vlc with cousins who have admitted they know my mother is wrong but still they can't take my side!! With time I jist went NC too as they did.

After 3 birthdays I have recieved a DM on IG from my sister wishing me a happy birthday and asking How I been!! I didn't respond! My first thought why now? Where were you 2 years ago!!! Why didn't you even ask why I haven't been visiting my parents' house where we used to go there weekly!!!!!

Now I am thinking I don't want to respond to anyone. I want to block them all. Not go to any weddings (not like they even invite me!!! When I got pissed saying how come no one even invited me to my nephew's wedding the response I got "well, he got divorced ")!!!I only get informed if someone is dead or in a hospital!!! Any happy occasions no one ever told me about!

If you are completely NC, no funerals no nothing no hospitals, how do you feel? Relief? Guilt? Share please.

My mother was abusive since I was 9 til I was 17. Then she did her very best to turn my father against me whom I had a good relationship with. My father started to physically abuse me from the age of 19 til 24/25.

He asked me once for forgiveness and I was like ok!!!!

Ofcourse the verbal abuse and manipulation never stopped from both parents and all siblings. My mother LOVES ruining my relationships for some sick reason. When I decided to cut her off I simply just sent a msg saying what an awful thing to do trying to turn my own brother against me and blocked her. She ofcourse started a smear campaign ruining alllll my relationships with everyone. My uncle who lives in a whole different country, him and I communicate only online and see him every few years, he has cut me off after I blocked my mother!!! Reached out months later saying that he heard I didn't visit my dad in the hospital! And that i should have visited!!! ! I then blocked him!!!

Months later he traveled and visited me unannounced. My husband and kids were home so he met them and gave the kids gifts and left. I sent a text msg saying thank you for the gifts. He didn't respond. Now 2 years later, 3 days after my bday (which he never once forgot but decided not send me a simple happy birthday anymore after my mother's smear campaign) he sends a video!!! And it was someone talking about the feeling of having to bury his own mother!!! I didn't even watch the whole thing just first seconds and decided to ignore it. I then sat for a while, wondered what am I actually even angry about? Him ignoring me then coming up with a shitty video? Is it the video? Why am I even upset?

I guess because I don't even know why I read his msg! Thankfully he cannot see that I saw it. I decided to finally let go. Not read anything they send. I want nothing from them. I want to know nothing about them. I don't want them at all in my life. I do not want them anymore. At.all.

I am free

I've seen some posts and comments men talking about their sexual desires. How some even think it is natural for men to have higher libido than women. Which is not true scientifically nor in our shia Islam. There are narrations by ahlulbayt explaining sexual desires by men and women. Sadly, I cannot find the debate of Imam alsajjad as while answering someone who have asked about this, but it is similar to imam Ali as narration which states :"Allah created desire 10 parts. 9 parts in women and 1 part in men. If he didn't create shyness in women of the same amount (9 out of 10) then 9 women would attach themselves to a man"

https://thaqalayn.net/hadith/5/3/20/1?utm_source=chatgpt.com

There is also another Arabic website explaining what does "satisfying women needs" in one of imam Ali as as narration and it explains how women have more desire but they need foreplay and that men shouldn't rush things : https://ar.al-shia.org/%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%89-%D8%AD%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D9%81%D9%8A-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A3%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A4%D9%85%D9%86%D9%8A/#%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b3%d8%a4%d8%a7%d9%84

from what I have heard from women and also my thoughts as a married woman, the number 1 thing men should know specially when marrying a Muslim woman, is that sex and our sexuality been a taboo topic all our lives. so don't assume you can simply just get married or engaged and want things perfect. they might be but not all cases. women are shy and I don't think any Muslim women would be open to discussing sex while engaged! and saying you have sexual needs and have expectations isn't going to help. women will either think he is cocky or get repulsed. as we see intimacy more than sex. women need to be treated right and feel desired first.

2. the better you treat your woman the better sexual life you can expect. it is not just out of the blue, but how you treated her during the day. like you cannot be mean and angry then expect sex at the end of the day!!! I remember a someone who didn't want to be with her husband because he always chooses the time she prays Qeyam! And he got so upset that he complained to his mother about it!! See these things are only gonna make things worse! It is not whenever you want it and how you want it. But being respectful and discussing those things with your wife with calm. There can be compromises but shouldn't be always on the wife.

it took my husband and I sometime to be able to discuss this openly with comfort. but I wouldn't have wanted to discuss it sooner as I wouldn't have been comfortable. specially when a girl is from a place she worries that men would think she has "experience" and trust me that is a fear many girls have. don't think of sex as YOUR OWN desire which u expect to be full filled and need a woman with "high libido" you should think you have to satisfy your woman first to be satisfied. you have to treat her nicely. ask about these things after marriage, know what she likes and doesn't. don't make this about you and the moment you do, trust me women are really good hiding their needs. that's why many think they are asexual. I've read women complain how they have never been satisfied and it makes things worse because they start to hate sex. Sex isn't what you see on TV or porn or whatever you think you have learned. You cannot just come and ask for a woman with high desires. Even a woman with the highest libido won't have sex if she felt repulsed.

edited some typos, and please ladies share your thoughts. (educational purposes only)

For someone who comes from a BIG family. 4 siblings, many cousins and distant relatives, it broke my heart that they all cut me off whether at the same time of my mother's mear campaign or after a while, it still hurt.

I used to wake up to all those Happy Birthday msgs. My aunts and uncles NEVER forgot my birthday even though 2 live in different countries and I rarely see them. My mother told them horrible things about me without even mentioning what she did. They simply cut me off. After 37 years of knowing who I am. Knowing I am kind and always loved them. Knowing for sure I was the different one because I wasn't as mean as my siblings.

Thisight seem like it is written by a child because that is how I feel. I feel like a child even now that I am 40. I wish I could cry and through a tantrum like a child because I don't understand why it is so hard to love me.

I am blessed with an amazing husband and kids and will forever be grateful for that. This is my 3rd birthday after being estranged and maybe because I think 40 is a huge milestone, it kind of hurts more than the others. Well, my 38th was also super hurtful. My dad was lying to my in laws saying how he eants to celebrate my birthday with me (something he BARELY ever did) in the same time was texting mean msgs that I had to block him.

Anyways, here I am. 40 years old. An age I never thought I would reach.

I know vinyl seems like the best option, but paint is much easier.

I am a mother. Have a little family of my own. Sometimes I don't know if I am a good mother or not. I don't know if the way I handle things is good or bad. My mother was never there not even in my childhood. She used to travel alot, or out with friends and told me to my face she never wanted to have me she wanted a boy as at the time she had 2 girls and a boy, then I came along.

Anyways, I never felt I needed a mother. Until few years ago, when my kids where little and felt exhausted and felt like I'm doing everything wrong. I remember going to her house standing there while she is walking around ( she never sits when I visited) looking at her and thinking I just wish I had a mom to hug.

I am now 2 years NC because the last thing I need is her toxicity to reach my kids. And with NC I realised my friendships weren't healthy! As the friends I chosen are so similar to my sisters!!

I had a friend who would get super jealous if I achieved anything! And I thought to myself well, yea that's how sisters are. My sisters were never happy for me so maybe that's how girls are! When I had time alone I realised how that isn't right! And I decided to confront her once when she actually said it to me repeatedly "I can't get it out of my head how youbwere able to achieve this' no congrats, not even a smile. Nothing! So I asked why does it bother you so much I have told you repeatedly about this goal of mine! She was like no this is my face! And then removed me from every social media platform and stopped contacting me!!

Same with another friend, who's been making jokes about my religion but then suddenly would be nice and ask to go out so I also thought " such a sister behaviour " NC made me respect myself more not to be with such people! And when I confronted her how it is disrespectful to do so, she immediately turned it against me and said "you seem overwhelmed and maybe you should have said something at the time I said something that hurts you" which ensured me she is just like my toxic family!!

I just started to feel lonely. I have a supportive husband, but I don't have a life outside of my home. I used to have a large family of neices, nephews and cousins who ALLL cut me off after I chose NC with my mother.

Sometimes I just wish I would have a nice mom that I can visit and talk to and go out for some tea. A mom to tell me I'm doing great.

I've been using foam minoxidil for a year and had no issues. Doctored prescribed min+Duts, which comes in a liquid form, do I am not sure what is causing the itchy scalp!

Is it the dutasteride or the liquid minoxidil?

Anyone having a similar issue? What are you using to relief itchiness?

I've been washing my head everyday because I can't take it !!! And now my hair is super dry.

Does Nizoral cream help?

I would ask the doc, but my appointment isn't until 2 weeks.

Thanks

اذا مقتنعين انهم صح ليش عيل غصب تغير من دينو معتقدات الناس القراب!

صارلي موقفين:

صديقه من جم سنه يت لها فتره وايد تشكك بالاسلام و قامت تسأل وايد اسئلة و الي اعرفه اجاوبها والي ماعرفه كنت اقولها شوفي وسمعي حق ناس ثقه. المهم بعد فتره ألحدت وقامت تطب بالاسلام هذا هدفها الاول و الاخير! و تقنع البنات يقطون الحجاب وتتطنز على الشيوخ الي يتكلمون عن الحجاب واجب ! زين شنو الفرق اذا تنتقدون الشيوخ عشان يتكلمون عن لبس الحجاب و انتوا تطلعون وتتكلمون عن "أهمية" خلع الحجاب؟

يعني اذا شايفه الشيوخ هذول ماعندهم سالفه غير الحجاب زين حتي الملحدين!!

الي يضحك ان اي مشكله تطيح فيها تتصل علي و تبي اساعدها، وتالي تنتقد المحجبات ، زين انا متحجبه!!!! ليش عيل رفيجاتج الملحدات مايساعدونج؟؟؟

موقف ثاني صديقة ثانيه تأمن أن ماكو جنة ونار ولا آخرة بس ان نموت و نعيش مره ثانيه بجسم ثاني. و تدري ان ماعندي هل اعتقاد!! و آمن باليوم الآخر. كل ماشافتني تحاول تقنعني اغير! وان هي الصح و رح اشوف! و صل فيها ان تتطنز جدامي على المسلمين! و فوق هذا هي ملكة الوعي و كله هي اكثر وحده واعيه و تحب التعايش ! زين وين الوعي اذا الواحد مايعرف يحترم الي غير عنه؟؟

فالي بغير دينه دام مقتنع ١٠٠% ليش محتاج الناس تصدقك؟ هذا يدل على وجود نقص!

صديقة لي حيل محترمه مسيحية عمرها ماقطت كلمه ولا علقت شي سلبي و اذا شي مو فاهمته بالعكس تسأل بكل احترام !

زين هذولاك محسوبين علينا مسلمين لا والي تأمن بتعدد الارواح تقول "انا مسلمه للاسف" خلاص لا تقولون مسلمين.

After years of abuse and having to 9bey every little thing she wants, I decided to go NC 2 years ago when she just couldn't stop ruining my relationship with my siblings. It reached a point she started making up lies to my closest brother who believed her and started to threaten me and eventually block me!!!

She tried really hard to turn my husband against me which at times worked. The best thing for us was to cut her and everyone who supports her behaviour.

She then started to reach out to my in laws!! She visited them unannounced which was a shock to them since they never visited! And went there to see my kids behind my back!

After 2 years she sends my mother in law a text message saying how she never stopped crying alll this time because of how much she misses my daughter!!!

She isn't close toy MIL! So this makes no sense except that she wants to show her that she is a nice person! Before than my dad did the same with my FIL! Started to tell him how much he misses me while at the same time was sending me rude msgs!!! I blocked him after that and told my FIL to never come tell my about them or get involved.

Does this ever stop!!

As I've noticed many people (atleast where i am from) confuse those who are nice as being people pleasers!!

The amount of times I have heard " I did not expect that from you" whenever I am firm or stand up for myself is getting too annoying! Whether from family, friends or even co-workers.

I am friendly always smiling. That doesn't mean I am a push over.

So, I used to help colleagues when I am free, something I really don't mind doing IF I am free. Once I say no because I am not free people act like I did something soooo wrong and awful!!

I tried to cut down on the "nice" but that just isn't me. I smile at random people. I say hello, goodmorning..etc to people who come across me or I come across them. I love to help and never expect anything in return. So called "friends" told me I am a people pleaser! And I explained the difference. The funny thing is when a situation came where I had to place a firm boundary they immediately lashed out and starting acting like I am wrong for simply saying what they did to me was disrespectful. And made me realise they actually befriended me because they Believed I was a people pleaser. The minute they realise I am not things change.

If you are a nice person stay nice. You don't have to change. The right people will appreciate it. I tried to change for years and build this guard but as I grew older I realised how important it is to be nice in this harsh world.

Lots of love