u/Worldly_Regular12

We just completed Ferber night 5. We have seen immense progress and could not be more thrilled.

That being said, I’m curious if your Ferber sleep trained baby ever eventually never cried at all throughout the night? It is okay if the answer is ‘no’ or ‘every baby is different’.

He currently cries for about 5min at the start of the night, then does 1 long stretch of 6-8hrs, then cries for 5-15min, does another 2hr stretch, cries for 5-15min, then does another hour or so. Is this just how he sleeps or can we get hopeful that eventually those middle of the night cries will disappear??

One thing to keep in mind is he can roll onto his tummy but not back yet. He LOVES sleeping on his belly but LOATHES tummy time lol. So he will roll to his belly and get comfy to sleep, but when he’s awake he is completely miserable on his belly. I wonder if that’s part of the crying…like he wakes and is miserable on his belly?

I know it’s only night 5 so we will find out 🙃

For context:
-he was preciously waking every 45-60min due to pacifier loss
-we went cold turkey on snoo, swaddle, pacifier, and sleeping in his own room/crib (he is a f-ing champ)
-he is on a 4 nap schedule with wake windows being: 1.5/1.75/1.75/2/2 (20 weeks old)

Hello! We are going to sleep train my 4 month old soon. Our biggest issue right now is the pacifier. He will not sleep without it and he wakes up every hour for me to put it back in all night long. He will not suck on his hands for sleep, despite sucking on them all day long when awake. My questions is, should I try to remove the pacifier before doing formal sleep training or is that sometime that happens at the time of sleep training? If I need to do so beforehand, how??? Even during contact naps he won’t sleep unless the pacifier is in!

Thank you!

Were you able to sleep train your terrible sleeper??

I am starting to consider the transition to the crib/nursery and doing sleep training, but I have noooo clue how to tell when he is ready AND I am truly terrified that he won’t be able to be sleep trained. My boy has never been a good sleeper, but since week 10/11 his sleep has gotten progressively worse (before 10/11 weeks he would give 3-4hr stretches). He is now waking every hour and his wake ups range anywhere from simply putting his paci back in to having to hold and soothe him for an hour before transferring back to the snoo. Locking at a higher level sometimes helps but often doesn’t. I am so sleep deprived and getting kinda desperate. He is only 15 weeks and I have heard that 16 weeks is the absolute earliest to start sleep training. But is that still too early? How do i know if he’s ready?

We just started being able to get him down for some naps in the crib about a week ago. It only works for about 3/5 naps per day and the others we still have to contact nap. The naps only last 30min. He will get into light sleep and wave his hands around and eventually knock his paci out and wake himself up.

I’m kinda struggling recently with the feeling that by 3 month old vastly prefers my husband. My husband will walk into the room and he will light up and give the biggest smile…but rarely smiles at me and honestly usually barely acknowledges me. And he’s super calm and chill with my husband (he seriously is content to just stare at him) whereas with me i need to be constantly handing him different toys and keeping him off the edge of losing it. He also seems to prefer to be held by my husband. And the hardest part is that my husband can get him to stop crying when i can’t…every single time. Like he will be inconsolable with me and then my husband takes him and he calms very quickly. I keep reading that it’s normal for babies to smile and have fun with dad but are more soothed with mom…well i can’t do either. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I don’t blame my baby at all and I am so incredibly glad that he has a parent who he feels both happy and comforted by…i just wish i could do the same for him. I love him so much and i am worried he doesn’t know it (because maybe if he knew how loved he is by me that he would feel happy and comforted by that…so if he isn’t happy and comforted then he doesn’t feel or know it?)

I sometimes wonder if i am trying too hard? Is that a thing?

For context, i am solo with him from when he wakes up (around 6am) to about 1/2pm. Then me and my husband are together with him from that time until bed/my husband goes to work. When my husband is at work, I am solo with him all night. When my husband isn’t at work, he is solo with him all night (except when i come in to breastfeed 1-2x).

My boy is 15 weeks and cannot connect sleep cycles. Naps are 30min in crib and night sleep is extremely fragmented (usually awake every hour). I know he can fall asleep on his own sometimes because he falls asleep in the crib about 60% of the time (drowsy but awake), but when he wakes up he is unable to get back to sleep until we pick him up and extend the nap with a contact nap.

Will he eventually start connecting his cycles on his own (and/or be able to fall back asleep on his own) or do I have to just wait it out until we sleep train? When did your baby achieve this?

Until then, any clue which naps we should just let be 30min vs which naps we should try to extend with a contact nap?? Is there a general rule of thumb or guideline for this?

Finally, I’m sooo confused as to how to start reducing naps when his naps are so short?! I read that by 4 months they should be on a 3-4 nap schedule…well my baby went from 5 naps to 6 naps when his naps started only lasting 30min at a time

-Wake window is 75-80min (attempts at longer don’t end well)
-6 naps a day ranging from 30-90min

Was your baby a TERRIBLE sleeper and is now sleeping? Give me some hope please!! My baby is 14.5 weeks old and I’m exhausted…and I need a light at the end of the tunnel. Im having a hard time with the idea that i have to just wait, but it’s also helpful to believe there is an end to this madness (aka sleep training).

He has never been a good sleeper, but it is progressively getting worse and worse. Im talking 15+ wake ups each night. He tends to wake between every sleep cycle (30-40min) and I have to help him back to sleep, whether it’s just putting his pacifier back in or full blown rocking back to sleep. At the start (8-10pm) and end (5-7am) of each night, he wakes every 10-15min. The longest stretch we ever get is about 2hrs (it’s a good night if we get one 2hr stretch). This is with the snoo!! And daytime naps are not any better. Even contact napping while rocking in the chair, I have to stand up every 30min to jiggle him back to sleep and it only works 50% of the time.

I have done so much to try to improve this (see below). I know this is likely the 4 months sleep regression and I need to just get through it until it improves or I can sleep train him.

Was your baby like this? Did sleep training turn ir around?

If you comment saying your baby was a bad sleeper because they woke up 3 times..i don’t think this post is for you.

Details if you care:
-no issues with constipation, reflux or congestion (that I know of)
-always check for fever or wet diaper
-wake windows are 75min (have experimented with shorter and longer). Lots of stimulation for the first 60min then lower stim for the last 15min
-he is exclusively breast fed and nursed every 2.5-3.5hrs during the day
-i take him outside first thing in the morning to set his circadian rhythm
-only nurse 1-2x overnight (sometimes i try just to get him to sleep but he refuses the breast)
-gas drops before bed and after nighttime feeds
-naps are all contact (refuses crib most of the time)
-nighttime is in the snoo (have experimented with settings)
-won’t sleep at all without the pacifier. I’ve tried a few times to get him to sleep without but it’s always a disaster
-refuses to co-sleep
-room is dark with a very dim red nightlight (have tried turning off but makes it worse), loud white noise, and 69-70 degrees
-bedtime is 8-8:30pm and we have a very consistent routine: bath, low light diaper and change, nurse, cuddle and sing the same song, then snoo
-he is learning to roll so its sleep sack during the day and snoo sack at night
-he is happy and content when awake (though frustrated because he desperately wants to roll and can’t yet). He’s also fairly high needs in that he needs constant entertainment
-he will not sleep in the car. Sometimes we can get him to sleep for maybe 20min on walks (in the stroller) but often he just fusses the whole time

My 14 week old (3m) has started only taking 35-45min naps, even with contact napping. I understand that’s normal for this age (yay crap nap phase). What I am confused about is whether we should keep the wake windows the same (as when he was doing 1.5hr naps) or if we need to be shortening them? He seems fussier earlier when he only takes a short nap, so we end up trying to get him to sleep around 70min instead of 80-90min. I try to follow his sleepy cues but maybe I’m getting them mixed up? But lately he has been crying really hard and fighting naps way more. This is especially true for the last nap of the day (he was inconsolably crying in my arms for 20min then kept waking up over and over again). I truly have no idea if he is overtired because he is napping way less/shorter or if he is undertired when we try to put him down at 70min. Any thoughts?

Also…if he’s under tired and needs to be kept up longer…how do you handle the last 20min of fussiness each wake window??

Thank you!

I am trying to get my 3 month old to not hate the crib. He screams the moment we put him down in it. We have a snoo for night but have been contact napping (in rocking chair, same room as crib) for every nap during the day. I don’t mind contact napping but I really want to start building foundations for sleep for when we eventually sleep train. I try to put him down in the crib, sleepy + calm but awake, for 1-2 naps per day, but he just cries and cries. I pick him up and get him calm, but the second he’s back down he starts crying again. I will put my hand on his chest, rock him gently, shush, pat his butt, stroke his forehead, put gentle pressure on legs…i feel like I’ve tried it all! I have made attempts every day for the last 3ish weeks. It is getting WORSE, not better. I fear I am worsening a negative association with the crib. Please can anyone advise what to do!?

Notes: I follow his sleep cues and he usually starts getting tired around 60-70min of being awake. I have tried shortening and lengthening wake windows but it does not matter. The nursery (where the crib is) is pitch black and we have a sound machine with white noise.

About night sleep/snoo: at night, we will put him down calm but awake and he will fuss/whine for 10-15min before eventually falling asleep. But he always falls asleep eventually and it never escalates to crying or wailing like he does in the crib. We batwing swaddle him in the snoo but use a sleep sack for the crib because he has started to roll. I really think it’s the motion that helps, though.

I am trying to get my 3 month old to not hate the crib. He screams the moment we put him down in it. We have a snoo for night but have been contact napping (in rocking chair, same room as crib) for every nap during the day. I don’t mind contact napping but I really want to start building foundations for sleep for when we eventually sleep train. I try to put him down in the crib, sleepy + calm but awake, for 1-2 naps per day, but he just cries and cries. I pick him up and get him calm, but the second he’s back down he starts crying again. I will put my hand on his chest, rock him gently, shush, pat his butt, stroke his forehead, put gentle pressure on legs…i feel like I’ve tried it all! I have made attempts every day for the last 3ish weeks. It is getting WORSE, not better. I fear I am worsening a negative association with the crib. Please can anyone advise what to do!?

Notes: I follow his sleep cues and he usually starts getting tired around 60-70min of being awake. I have tried shortening and lengthening wake windows but it does not matter. The nursery (where the crib is) is pitch black and we have a sound machine with white noise.

He just turned 3m, he currently takes 5 naps ranging from 45min-2hrs (contact naps always), he goes down in snoo at night (around 8:30p) but isn’t a great sleeper at night either (does a 3-4hr stretch then is up every hour or so)

During daytime naps, my 10 week old has been waking up crying for the last two weeks or so. After anywhere from 1-2hrs of napping (contact nap), he will go from peacefully sleeping to immediately crying that escalates, all while still having his eyes closed. It will get worse and worse until he is completely distraught…but again his eyes are still closed! I will try to soothe him but he will just keep crying. It will only stop when we force him fully awake, usually by unswaddling and him bringing him to a bright room (sometimes by putting him in the swing). It’s almost like he’s stuck in the transition from asleep to awake. Once he is awake, he will need a few minutes of soothing but will eventually calm down and then will be a completely happy, calm baby.

I really do not think it is hunger or discomfort/pain because he will calm down after waking up fully…if it were hunger or pain wouldn’t he continue to cry when awake? He eats every 2-3hrs.

Note: sometimes we put him down in the crib when he is in deep sleep and he will wake up after 30-40ish minutes without crying/screaming. We will then pick him up and contact nap for the rest of his nap. He will immediately fall back asleep in our arms. But then he will wake crying like described above. I’ve trying just getting him up after the initial 30min but he is sooo fussy and gets tired again very quickly.

Finally, i don’t think he does this during the night. He sleeps 3-4hr chunks of time and will wake up crying, but it doesn’t escalate the way it does during the day. I nurse him and then he goes right back to sleep.

Any thoughts? It’s really hard to have him so completely distraught and screaming after every single nap. Thank you !

During daytime naps, my 10 week old has been waking up crying for the last two weeks or so. After anywhere from 1-2hrs of napping (contact nap), he will go from peacefully sleeping to immediately crying that escalates, all while still having his eyes closed. It will get worse and worse until he is completely distraught…but again his eyes are still closed! I will try to soothe him but he will just keep crying. It will only stop when we force him fully awake, usually by unswaddling and him bringing him to a bright room (sometimes by putting him in the swing). It’s almost like he’s stuck in the transition from asleep to awake. Once he is awake, he will need a few minutes of soothing but will eventually calm down and then will be a completely happy, calm baby.

I really do not think it is hunger or discomfort/pain because he will calm down after waking up fully…if it were hunger or pain wouldn’t he continue to cry when awake? He eats every 2-3hrs.

Note: sometimes we put him down in the crib when he is in deep sleep and he will wake up after 30-40ish minutes without crying/screaming. We will then pick him up and contact nap for the rest of his nap. He will immediately fall back asleep in our arms. But then he will wake crying like described above. I’ve trying just getting him up after the initial 30min but he is sooo fussy and gets tired again very quickly.

Finally, i don’t think he does this during the night. He sleeps 3-4hr chunks of time and will wake up crying, but it doesn’t escalate the way it does during the day. I nurse him and then he goes right back to sleep.

Any thoughts? It’s really hard to have him so completely distraught and screaming after every single nap. Thank you !

During daytime naps, my 10 week old has been waking up crying for the last two weeks or so. After anywhere from 1-2hrs of napping (contact nap), he will go from peacefully sleeping to immediately crying that escalates, all while still having his eyes closed. It will get worse and worse until he is completely distraught…but again his eyes are still closed! I will try to soothe him but he will just keep crying. It will only stop when we force him fully awake, usually by unswaddling and him bringing him to a bright room (sometimes by putting him in the swing). It’s almost like he’s stuck in the transition from asleep to awake. Once he is awake, he will need a few minutes of soothing but will eventually calm down and then will be a completely happy, calm baby.

I really do not think it is hunger or discomfort/pain because he will calm down after waking up fully…if it were hunger or pain wouldn’t he continue to cry when awake? He eats every 2-3hrs.

Note: sometimes we put him down in the crib when he is in deep sleep and he will wake up after 30-40ish minutes without crying/screaming. We will then pick him up and contact nap for the rest of his nap. He will immediately fall back asleep in our arms. But then he will wake crying like described above. I’ve trying just getting him up after the initial 30min but he is sooo fussy and gets tired again very quickly.

Finally, i don’t think he does this during the night. He sleeps 3-4hr chunks of time and will wake up crying, but it doesn’t escalate the way it does during the day. I nurse him and then he goes right back to sleep.

Any thoughts? It’s really hard to have him so completely distraught and screaming after every single nap. Thank you !

During daytime naps, my 10 week old has been waking up crying for the last two weeks or so. After anywhere from 1-2hrs of napping (contact nap), he will go from peacefully sleeping to immediately crying that escalates, all while still having his eyes closed. It will get worse and worse until he is completely distraught…but again his eyes are still closed! I will try to soothe him but he will just keep crying. It will only stop when we force him fully awake, usually by unswaddling and him bringing him to a bright room (sometimes by putting him in the swing). It’s almost like he’s stuck in the transition from asleep to awake. Once he is awake, he will need a few minutes of soothing but will eventually calm down and then will be a completely happy, calm baby.

I really do not think it is hunger or discomfort/pain because he will calm down after waking up fully…if it were hunger or pain wouldn’t he continue to cry when awake? He eats every 2-3hrs.

Note: sometimes we put him down in the crib when he is in deep sleep and he will wake up after 30-40ish minutes without crying/screaming. We will then pick him up and contact nap for the rest of his nap. He will immediately fall back asleep in our arms. But then he will wake crying like described above. I’ve trying just getting him up after the initial 30min but he is sooo fussy and gets tired again very quickly.

Finally, i don’t think he does this during the night. He sleeps 3-4hr chunks of time and will wake up crying, but it doesn’t escalate the way it does during the day. I nurse him and then he goes right back to sleep.

Any thoughts? It’s really hard to have him so completely distraught and screaming after every single nap. Thank you !

When does it get easier?

Currently 6 weeks. I have a fast letdown and he pops on and off the breast crying. Sometimes he is upset because he is still starving, sometimes it’s gas/burp, sometimes he has to poop (can’t poop on his own yet so i have to stop everything and put him in a squat position to help him). I always have to figure out which one it is which takes forever and risks upsetting him more if i get it wrong. I am also spraying milk everywhere every time he pops off. Latching is not easy; I’m fighting his arms the whole time and still working on getting a deep enough latch (so each new latch often still hurts). Each feed is an endless cycle of him being upset and me being frustrated and exhausted.

I know each baby is different so it’s impossible to know if/when it’ll get easier for us, but i could use some hope and positive stories (especially from those with a fast letdown/tendency to spray whose baby pops on and off crying).