u/Yagyasenee

Sometimes I wish there was an option to not live and be less of a burden on others, but apparently right to death isn't valid in India.

I (20F) have been working in therapy on accepting what happened with me as SA but on the other hand I had an altercation with my mother wherein she said that I was "lucky" that we would only go twice an year to the place where it happened and that this is what happens in villages and those boys were just children. My mind is split in two and I'm completely confused in what to believe now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

For reference, this was the post I had made regarding what all I could remember:-

https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestIndia/s/R7DtEkGWgn

https://www.reddit.com/r/SurvivingIndianFamily/s/8djwx5FYIg

I (20F) have been working in therapy on accepting what happened with me as SA but on the other hand I had an altercation with my mother wherein she said that I was "lucky" that we would only go twice an year to the place where it happened and that this is what happens in villages and those boys were just children. My mind is split in two and I'm completely confused in what to believe now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

For reference, this was the post I had made regarding what all I could remember:- https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestIndia/s/R7DtEkGWgn https://www.reddit.com/r/SurvivingIndianFamily/s/8djwx5FYIg

https://www.reddit.com/r/SurvivingIndianFamily/s/dhalO0zOP3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestIndia/s/92mOW5RtJj

These were 2 posts I had made a long time back according to the things I was remembering through flashbacks. Now since I've been back in EMDR therapy and got diagnosed with C-PTSD, I'm learning to call what happened with me as rape because I can't run away from the truth. I'm still very far in my journey but this is a hopefully positive step.

I (20F) remember when I was 8-9 years old, I was hospitalized at AIIMS Delhi for 3 months for a stomach ache and all my results, including endoscopy, mri, multiple blood tests, injections, drips, anesthesia etc, came back clean. I used to wake up every night crying from stomach ache and wouldn't want anyone around me. I used to feel scared. I was even admitted in the ICU for a bit at that time. I remember one of the doctors suggesting my parents to get me to talk to a counselor and my father had a fight over there. This is a very jumbled up memory of mine and I just wanted to understand why would the doctor recommend a counselor for me?

I got a flashback today at lunch with my friends of my past >! self harm through burning !< . They had just shown me a picture of a burning marshmallow and I don't know how my mind brought me to that and while leaving I almost fainted but I had water and gathered myself. I used my resources to feel a little better and am in my hostel now.

Last night I had a nightmare of being in a courtroom and not being believed and instead being cross examined about what happened with me. I didn't wake up thanks to my meds but it was a bad nightmare. Also today in the morning after gym when I went for breakfast I cried because of a flashback of the assaults that happened with me. I am able to handle myself sure, but this is new, the way I'm remembering things. Any advice?

I'm in my 2nd year of law school and I love what I'm studying even though at times it makes me question a lot of things around me. One thing that I have learned till now is to own my truth and my version of events. If I can't do this for myself, I can't expect another person to do it for me. Nor can I expect myself to be able to help another person own their truth or find the relief they're seeking.

I'm in my 2nd year of law school and I love what I'm studying even though at times it makes me question a lot of things around me. One thing that I have learned till now is to own my truth and my version of events. If I can't do this for myself, I can't expect another person to do it for me. Nor can I expect myself to be able to help another person own their truth or find the relief they're seeking.

Last night I had a nightmare of being in a courtroom and not being believed and instead being cross examined about what happened with me. I didn't wake up thanks to my meds but it was a bad nightmare. Also today in the morning after gym when I went for breakfast I cried because of a flashback of the assaults that happened with me. I am able to handle myself sure, but this is new, the way I'm remembering things. Any advice?

I'm in my 2nd year of law school and honestly it's been very emotionally taxing for me. I loved reading which is why I wanted to study law, but then I started making sense of things that happened with me and now I feel shattered to the point nothing in my life makes sense anymore.

I'm in my 2nd year of law school in the 5 year program and I think I made a mistake.

I just reached my hostel and took a shower. I feel extremely dizzy. I had a midsem in college today after which I had plans to go for dinner with my friends from my college society. We went out, had fun, etc. On the way back, the music got so loud that I went blank. I was pulling my hair, closing my eyes, covering my ears and trying to breathe. I kept saying please and crying. I had a flashback too of being locked in a room and being hurt. By the time we reached college and the bus stopped, one of my friends tapped on my shoulder and I screamed. I looked for my SOS medicines while trying to make sense of things and walking back to my hostel. This would not have happened had I carried my headphones. But I couldn't go back to my room after my midsem at 8pm so I left from there directly instead. I hate myself so much for being so stupid.