
u/YourFavoriteUnknown

The Enneagram and the Id, Ego, and Superego
Last slide is the society/intertype patterns, and first three slides are intratype patterns, but you can view each as being metaphorical for intertype and intratype patterns.
Generally speaking, the withdrawn types are "there" to mediate conflicts that might naturally arise between the superego types and the ID types in a group setting. Conflicts arise between these types over doing something that goes against group customs to secure limited-time opportunities, and maintaining the integrity of the customs already present in the group so that it doesn't devolve into chaos.
4s criticize the norms established by the superego types and 5s kind of damp down the impulsiveness of the ID types. 9s try to find common ground or appeal to a third perspective that unites the two, hence their propensity for holistic, philosophical, and unifying thinking (e.g., Einstein).
A long time ago in a primitive society not that far away...
| Positive outlook | Reactive | Competency |
|---|---|---|
| Improve quality of life, keep people encouraged and happy, boost morale | Keep the group alive, predict worst-case scenarios | Improve efficiency, maximize effort vs. return, neutral perspective |
| Assertive | Compliant | Withdrawn |
|---|---|---|
| Do stuff, get things done | Maintain and refine customs of group, instill moral and ethical codes | Least likely to die to tragic "group events", perform subtle peripheral functions |
"If you don't have at least one 6 and one 9, you're not a group. You're a joke." - u/YourFavoriteUnknown, 2026
Do you have any additional insights for intertype relationships in Socionics?
For instance, do you have a more nuanced understanding of Duality?
Do you have any enneagram tips for improving relationships? Which personality systems have been most helpful for improving your interpersonal relationships?
I've been working on taking a more active approach with the enneagram and personality systems in general, in the sense that I am trying to improve my interpersonal relationships and skills. I've spent a lot of time in theory land and now I want to do something with my knowledge.
Firstly, I've been trying to reconnect with my mom, who is an emotionally distant 4w3 sp/so 416. I can normally see in her eyes when she is sad, and so I've been trying to ask her how she has been feeling when she returns home from work. I've noticed that heart types are responsive to this kind of question, whereas head types prefer to be asked about their interests (what have you been thinking about today). You have to read the room more with gut types, and usually just being physically present with them is enough.
Today, she opened up about she's discontented with her job but doesn't want to uproot her social network. She doesn't think she is making enough money and feels like the people at her work form cringy cliques. She sat with me longer at the kitchen table today, though her eyes tend to glaze over if we're not talking about what's emotionally preoccupying her. I just kind of sat there and asked for more details with a receptive presence, and tried to offer some practical advice to make her feel calm. I told her she was fine on money for the foreseeable future and she doesn't have to feel all that stress and angst right now and should instead come up with a plan.
I think she is a SEI in socionics, and that I am a LII, so I've been studying the activation relationship and it sounds accurate. But I'm not really finding much actionable information.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF7gAYEymJA&t=919s
https://wikisocion.github.io/content/activation.html
https://wikisocion.github.io/content/activity_INTj_ISFp.html
The main problem is I apparently can be intellectually intense or overwhelming, talking too much about one thing and in too much detail. I can also be painfully insensitive and indifferent to her emotions. She prefers to keep analytical discussion to a minimum. I also say things that are offensive to others usually without meaning to, to the point where people say I have borderline tourette's.
Up until recently, when I started making an active effort to improve our relationship (like I had to do with my 6w7 628 so/sx dad and 6w7 638 sp/sx brother) our main way of connecting was through music. I've always been friends with my 9w1 945 sp/so brother. My 3w4 379 so/sx older brother doesn't talk to any of us anymore and is a lawyer now, according to google.
In Oldham styles, mom is dramatic + conscientious, and I am idiosyncratic with hints of solitary and leisurely. Not sure what I can do with that information.
Also, in Neurotyping she's Caretaker (fairly linear, fairly lexical) and I'm an Overseer (fairly lateral, fairly impressionist). So I've tried to be more straightforward.
Sour cream is the best condiment.
It's comparable to mayonnaise, except it doesn't make you gag when you eat it on its own. It adds a thick consistency and tang to other condiments as well, like ketchup. It's particularly good with mustard as well.
Really, where you start to see the potential of this condiment outside of its typical role in texmex cuisine is with pretzels. Get yourself a bag of pretzels or (even better) an authentic, bready salted garlic pretzel and a tub of sour cream and go to town.
It also is really good on hamburgers. I make a spread of ketchup, mustard, and sour cream for nearly every hamburger I eat. It's like a mix of cream cheese and mayonnaise, so sour cream works well on its own as well.
Sour cream is also very good with chips, fries, potatoes in general, etc.
You can even go the other way and pair it with sweet stuff because it is like tangy yogurt.
Anyways, sour cream is the best condiment.
Social 5s, what's your relationship with "the meaning of life?"
I'll start with the question:
Is the answer to the meaning of life as simple as collecting a large sum of money that is enough to get by, quitting work, moving to somewhere pretty, rainy, and remote, remove all technology, and then to spend all day reading books?
The only problem is that I feel the need to make some sort of contribution that people benefit from, that's just how I am. So I guess the fundamental question is what can I make that is useful?
What contributions do you make that make you feel fulfilled?
The rest of this post is just venting.
----
Firstly, probably like a lot of people here, I feel like all my biological needs are met and I don't have to do anything.
I feel like technology is meant to enhance someone's life, it's not meant to be the main focus. But when I'm not on reddit or rateyourmusic I don't know what to do with myself.
College is basically paying a metric fuckton of money to get to do a series of household chores that you also get graded on. It is extremely boring and unfulfilling for me. Some of the content is vaguely interesting but I'm just going through the motions at this point. I want to wear sunglasses all the time and just sleep in class.
So what I do is I try to go to class as little as I possibly can without getting dropped, but then people start projecting shit onto me and trying to paint me as this arrogant douchebag that thinks he's above everyone else. I don't even talk to these motherfuckers but I hear their comments and I feel their shunning. So I can basically become a domesticated animal or I can become a supervillain.
Not to be a dumbass anti-ai doomer but gen ai is making me extremely depressed because people are becoming dependent on it to perform basic tasks and that's not the society I want to live in. I had a bit more optimism that people would be willing to think for themselves but all my hopes are dashed. How can they not see how easy it is for them to be subliminally influenced by this shit?
I'm kind of imagining a future society where humans distract themselves and basically do very basic functions or customer interactions just as busywork, the equivalent of working at McDonald's, and some form of artificial intelligence solves more complex problems that humans have become unequipped to solve due to complacency. Or maybe we just kind of halfassedly direct AI to do stuff.
I mean, we're already kind of there with this stupid social media bullshit. Basically, I've successfully reprogrammed my brain to be forcefed absurd quantities of bite-sized chunks of absolutely useless new information on a daily basis.
I don't mean to be macabre, and I don't know how to say this without sounding like I need some sort of therapy or help or something because I'm not mentally unstable, but to me suicide seems like a good option. There's not really much that I find fulfilling, I'm already a failure, and I'm realistically never going to be in a relationship that I want to be in because I thoroughly hate myself and life and I think it shows. I hate my culture and people my age, I hate that I'm living an asinine paint-by-numbers life, and I hate that every day is a new existential crisis.
It's not like I think about it all the time and one day I'm just going to snap, it's more like I have a set date in my head where I will just end things if I haven't found any meaning in my life.
What kind of lists are your favorite?
I'm trying to make genre lists that people will actually benefit from. I removed all my lists that are simply song or discography rankings.
My current template for a genre list is to feature albums within a certain primary genre, with the rating I gave them (from 1-100). Only albums that score 80 or higher or featured. Then, I list all the songs I gave 9 or higher for each album. There's an embedded YouTube link of my favorite song (that is classified as the genre in question) on the album, and all my favorite songs are added to a spotify playlist that viewers can access to find new music.
Is there a way I can improve my lists? Please let me know.
Also, in general, what kind of lists are your favorite? I want to be useful.
Here's my list for reference.
8s, can you tell me about your relationship to the "nurturing function" and "protective function" during your childhood?
These can be fulfilled by anyone,
but generally the protecting function is responsible for defending you from harm in a physical sense, and guides you, gives you advice, and educates you in a way that prevents you from getting hurt or making huge blunders. Historically, they would also be responsible for "setting you up" or "teaching you the family trade", but in the modern era that has largely dissolved.
The nurturing function consoles you, feeds you, and comforts you. Tucks you in, reads you a book before bedtime, etc.
Also, I'm wondering what your experiences with the "integrating function" is. That's the function that welcomes you to a larger sphere and helps you form a sense of identity. Kind of like what happens to the main character in "Mean Girls" (2004).
Usually the most formative years are before the age of 13.
Looking for "record store games" to play with my dad on our birthday
So, we live in an unfortunate area of the United States where there's not much to do within 4 hours. We share the same birthday and both like music pretty well, although I'm much more of a music nerd (into RYM, needledrop, vinyl, cassettes, etc.). So, I thought that the most fun thing to do would be to hit as many record stores as possible and play some sort of game, maybe a scavenger hunt type deal. If it helps, I'll be 22 and he'll be 53.
One idea I had was to put different themes on index cards, shuffle the cards, and then you have to find a record for the other player which fits that theme to earn points. Then, the points are redeemable, allowing you to pick your own record.
The only presents we'll be getting each other are the things we pick out during this game. If you have any ideas, please let me know!
Thanks!
At what age does a potential male partner having 0 romantic experience (not even a kiss) become a red flag?
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What is your ultimate ambition?
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Enneagram type me video
I was wondering what type I come across as. If you have ideas for my trifix and instinctual stacking, let me know.
Which European country is the best tourist destination?
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What's the best decade for music?
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What type is Cassie from Skins UK?
I'm asking about her particularly because I didn't think 4s could present as especially amiable. I know several 4s and none of them present as "nice", although most of them aren't "mean". Yet, Cassie is, for all intents and purposes, quite friendly, and largely typed as a 4.
She has a spacey Luna Lovegood-esque quality and appears 9ish. She also craves recognition (e.g., from Sid) but doesn't pursue it (characteristic of a 9). She doesn't internalize her relationship with her eating disorder like a 4, but rather tries to ignore it or think around the problem, like a 9. This is especially apparent when she believes that someone is repeatedly sending her the message "EAT" and her response is to try to ignore the message.
So, I'm not sure where all the 4 votes are coming from, and I was wondering if I was missing a detail.
Who's your favorite relative?
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Which letter would be the best house?
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