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I went on two “dates” with this guy. We never hooked up, but we got pretty close on the second date. I wanted to, but I told him I wouldn’t unless he started making more time for me. That only lasted for so long.

At the time, he was dealing with a lot immigration, moving, getting his wisdom teeth removed, audits at work (he’s a manager), and four employees quitting. To this day, I still don’t know if all that stress was the reason he slowly pulled away.

One thing I remember from the beginning is that he told me he was too busy for a relationship. Then one day, when I missed him a lot, I told him something that probably wasn’t my best decision: if he only wanted to hook up, I’d be okay with that too… I just wanted him to be honest with me. He reassured me that wasn’t the case and said he was just incredibly stressed.
Now he’s ghosted me.

But then I met someone else with the same name. He has an almost identical personality, and they don’t even look that different. The difference is… this guy actually talks to me.
Even so, my heart still misses my LO. 💔

I miss telling you how handsome you are.
More than anything, I miss admiring you. Even after you broke my heart, I still think you’re the most handsome guy in the world. 😔
You never believed me when I said it, and I wish you knew I meant every word.

Yes, I WANT friends!!!
Yes, I WANT to talk!!!!
Yes, I WANT to be social!!!!
But I can’t!!!!

I wish with all my heart that I didn’t have social anxiety. I wish I could just be the “normal” friend, partner, child, sibling, or family member that people expect me to be.
It feels like there’s an invisible wall stopping me. One in my mind, and one in real life.

I’m not just “shy.”
I’m not just “introverted.”

And no, it doesn’t magically get better because we hang out once or twice. For me, it can take years before I feel genuinely comfortable around someone.

I don’t choose to be this way. If I could wake up tomorrow without social anxiety, I would, I WOULD!!!!!

Richard, today you accepted my ride for $6.32. Whether that was worth it to you was your decision, but your job was to pick me up, and you failed. Why did you expect me to jaywalk in the middle of a busy road with multiple cars? You’re the one with the car, so you should come to me! Why are uber drivers so unwilling to drive their car?
We were going to turn around REGARDLESS too

Total of 1 text all day, and you haven’t mentioned our plans for today. We just made them on Thursday so there is no way could you forget, right??

I took a shower, did my hair, and now im doing my makeup while waiting for you to call and tell me you didn’t forget. Please don’t disappoint me….
I’m trying not to cry while doing my makeup 😭

I can’t stop thinking of him. I miss him I need him so so much right now.
I finally understand why people turn to drugs and alcohol. Just need something to turn off my thoughts. I can’t sleep or eat I don’t know what to do anymore. I miss him. 😭😭

I can’t tell if it’s a gut feeling or anxiety but the pain I feel when I think heartbreak is coming is so intense. So, I believe if I try harder, he’ll leave. However, if I don’t try and let him show me he’ll also leave. 💔

Don’t lie to me:( don’t destroy my trust
I’ve waited almost a week to see you again.
I’m so excited, tired but excited.

tell me u want to come see me as bad as i want to see you. PLEASE 😭 my head cannot handle this anymore. I’m losing myself

I wish I could see you one last time before you pull away. Even if it meant travelling two hours by public transit, I would. That’s all I ever wanted—I thought you wanted the same. You said you miss me, love me, and want to see me, yet you never do. Instead, you always see your friends. Do you know how confusing and hurtful that is?
-M

He gradually pulled away after our first meeting, and then, during our second meeting, I wouldn’t put out. We just kissed, and I teased him a lot. Now, he won’t even open my Snapchat messages. And before anyone says anything, it’s always me talking seductively first. I don’t even think he would’ve tried if I didn’t talk to him in that way.

We had a little emoji on Snapchat that said, “You chatted with each other the most.” However, he also mentioned that he’s been really stressed lately.

I just don’t understand why. I even asked my friend to add him on Snapchat yesterday, and he opens her messages instantly. Mine have been on delivered for about 20 hours. 💔

First of all I’m not trying to romanticize eating disorders or offend anyone here :( I hope it won’t come across this way. I’m genuinely confused and looking for insight because I don’t really know what’s happening to me.

For a while now I haven’t been happy with my body. I started paying more attention to calories and food labels, especially because my country has warning labels on unhealthy food. Over time I stopped buying a lot of those foods and became more aware of what I was eating.

Then recently something emotional happened that kind of pushed everything over the edge for me.
I met someone unexpectedly and we only spent around 30 minutes together, but the connection felt really intense to me. We talked the whole ride, had a lot of eye contact, and when we parted ways it genuinely hurt more than I expected. I still remember his eyes honestly 🥹 I miss them 💔

What’s messing with me mentally is that he seemed attracted to me as I already was the version of myself that I hated and wanted to change. Ever since then, it’s like my appetite disappeared. I can barely eat more than one bowl of food a day lately.

The confusing part is that I’m not scared of losing weight. I feel happy when I wake up looking thinner, and that’s what’s making me wonder if this is becoming disordered or if anyone else’s issues around food/body image started emotionally like this.
I know this probably sounds dramatic over someone I barely knew, but I don’t know..

My dream job is to be a bus driver but I feel I may never get to do this because of my learning disabilities. I absolutely hate reading as well so the book is challenging.