Burnout vs ADHD?
I am feeling so lost at the moment. I am an asylee, graduated from college last month, and am now preparing to start law school in August. I have always run away from therapy and psychiatry because of misconceptions from my upbringing and my fear of depending on medication. The only time I have ever had to seek mental health care was when I was processing my asylum paperwork, and I had to go through several days of psychiatric evaluation, which ended with a diagnosis of severe PTSD and general anxiety.
I was a freshman in college and busy with full-time school and work, so I never stopped to give it much thought. But there was always friction, difficulty in starting tasks, getting through them, and even just forming thoughts. I felt like I always had to keep my brain numb by consuming music or media because when I tackled any task or assignment, I felt paralyzed by the thought of messing it up. I have such a big fear of uncertainty, and I feel like it is eating me up.
A year ago, I caved and started therapy through my college. The sessions would always be about the same discussion: how frustrated I am with myself because I cannot do things in a timely manner, as it just seems like my brain cannot handle anything challenging anymore without completely crumbling. In the midst of all this, I was still working full-time and in school full-time, and I graduated with a 4.0, but I would just do things so messily or would always push through with excuses and extensions.
This past December, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Strattera, but it did nothing. I continued therapy and switched psychiatrists. I got the same diagnosis but was prescribed Adderall. Now I feel stimulated, but not for the right reasons. I spend days hyper-focused on TikToks and reels, and then the pill wears off, the day ends, and I go to bed, only to repeat the cycle. I feel so frustrated and have been feeling this way for the past 4 years.
