u/billiegr

I feel like i am one step away from losing it and being sent to a looney bin. I’m in a constant state of unbearable stress and existentialism.

It sucks, why do i have to choose to suffer and live in a capitalist hell? Working with blood, sweat and tears to hardly survive!! I don’t want to work and i don’t even want to be alive that badly! But i can’t do anything about it (i have tried a few times but i currently don’t think it’s a valid answer)

What’s the point?

I see why people think religion is essential to keep sane because it gives you a purpose. But i can’t believe, i never truly have. It’s a false sense of hope that all the suffering now will pay off later, which it won’t.

I wish i could believe. I wish i could’ve just led an ignorant life without questioning everything because it is killing me.

With and without religion there is so many unanswered questions. Why does anything exist at all?

I don’t want kids or to get married and live a pious life while staying in my current community. I fall in love with the most unattainable people ever. I just don’t think happiness exists.

How do you cope?

I’m asking here because i know alot of us are non-religious, existential people.

I’m asking this because i struggle with liking people long-term. I get annoyed by mannerisms or behaviours that i see repeatedly, turning me off eventually.

I am a bit cynical. The people around me don’t ever seem to share the same values and beliefs as me. People don’t seem emotionally mature to me.

But the contradiction is that i crave connection, i really want to find someone that can be an extension of me.

I have hardly any good relationships, but i can also blame myself for that since
I’m awkward and am horrible at talking with strangers. Socialising always feels like a draining performance to me, even with close friends. And i’m avoidant, i’m subconsciously unnecessarily secretive and i’m boring.

I’ve seen similar complaints on this subreddit which are labelled as another egotistical INTJ 😭

But the thing is i wouldn’t say I’m egotistical at all; i’m the opposite if anything.

I’m not very educated on this topic so bear with me, i’m seeing a few different theories and i’m quite confused..

1. humans are apes
2. humans share a common ancestor with apes
3. humans evolved from apes

I would appreciate if somebody explained the reasoning for each one to me like im 5 🙏 and also the reasons for which 2 & 3 are incorrect.

Also, could someone explain neandrathals? I thought it was a transitional fossil but i heard not

Do you believe in the theory of evolution (humans came from apes)?
Could you explain why or why not? I’m not very educated on the topic and i want to know more since most of the people around me deny it.

im thinking impreza (2016 and up) or liberty (2010 and up)
i just want a reliable nice looking car to drive normally

I want a reliable first car that won’t have diabolical maintenance costs. My budget is at MOST 15k, lower is preferable but i know thats impossible since i want a car thats okay looking.. (sedan/convertible preferred)

I’ve gathered a few options. I don’t know everything this is just based off my own research. Correct me about anything, i need more opinions and options.

1. subaru impreza sedan (over 2014): good but i think the AWD makes it drink alot of fuel?

2. infiniti q50: looks great, affordable but not fuel efficient

3. honda civic/accord: good but always has very high mileage

4. ford falcon xr6 (over 2015): may not be reliable.

5. kia cerato: great but usually over my budget.

6. mazda 3 or 6 sedan: i think the most reliable option, but not the greatest

I live in a western country, but still in a muslim dominated area. I fucking hate my life. Everyone is so judgemental, ignorant and hateful. They know nothing about islam but blindly follow all this made up shit, shaming and ridiculing others.
They’re misogynistic before they’re homophobic: Girls are accepting to gay men but hate lesbians like its personal..?

Girls are meant to be locked up and hidden, not even allowed to go to their friend’s house to be saved for their future husband. But their brothers are going clubbing, doing drugs, having sex, doing every sin in the religion, during ramadan! But it’s okay because boys need to experience life while they’re young.

My family sucks aswell, they’re just condescending pos that think they’re smarter than everyone.
Muslims are so delusional. so fucking delusional.
I’ve been depressed and suicidal for years, but they say it’s because of the posters on my wall that have been here for a few months. If not that, i just need to read more quran before bed. They have infinite excuses.

I accepted it at one point - I really didn’t want to feel like this anymore, so i prayed 5x a day, fasted and read the Quran, I did believe. That same year i was in the worst state i’d ever been in, i tried to commit suicide.

at first i believed i was too self aware but now i think i’m realising it’s more-so being too self conscious and critical.

How do i stop drowning in misery and bullying myself.? I’m a lazy shit who can’t get anything done no matter how badly i want to. Though it might be undiagnosed adhd since i was referred to it but i never ended up getting a diagnosis..

I have friends but i don’t feel truly connected to anyone :( i dont feel cared for, and i dont care for anyone. though i dont feel anything, even for my family idk..
im going to therapy but i feel nothing is being addressed

sorry i went on a bit of a tangent, this might be irrelevant

I think i’ve been extremely self aware since i was a child. My earliest memories are of me people pleasing through a mental checklist i made by observing unlikeable behaviours in others and vowing to never do the same. It made me a sort of ‘refresher’ to be around.

But i don’t think people like me for me. I have no/ a boring personality, i don’t hold conversation greatly, especially around strangers. I’m not curious enough and my biggest problem is that i just don’t care about anything.
I don’t care about things my friends want to talk about, or things they notice. And the fact that i’m monotone doesn’t help.

I feel like i’ve been sort of housing my body on auto pilot my whole life and it’s finally catching up to me as i realise it’s not a good thing.
I believed i was too self aware, and brushed it off as a good thing but i’m starting to think i blurred the line between self awareness and self consciousness.

I can’t stop thinking about everything bad about myself. I can’t stop thinking about how meaningless it all is, but how i still feel so horrible. I want to live a better life, but my inner self will never let me feel peaceful or free 🥲

Sometimes i force myself to go out and hangout despite the crippling anxiety i get beforehand. I either end up enjoying it or hating it. But after every time, i feel like absolute death. I feel like i drained myself dry.
I overthink everything: how i acted, what i said/ didn’t say, how people think of me. It’s never ending and it feels like it’s killing me. I try to ignore it, i try to not care, but it forces me to become so self-critical. I rip myself apart and i hate myself.

I’m going to therapy but i don’t feel any better.

Has anyone moved out? Where is a reasonable place to look for a student with a part time job earning mabye 500 a week 🥲. im broke with dreams. i want to move out to escape my family

I truly want advice.
I used to wholeheartedly believe in islam. i had a strong imaan, i prayed five times a day, fasted, prayed taraweeh, read quran. I believed islam was a beautiful religion.

The only problem is during this time i was the most depressed and suicidal i have ever been in my life, i attempted to end it at a point in which i felt like i had nowhere to turn to; i didn’t feel at peace no matter how much i turned to Allah. I was harbouring a secret that i was choosing to ignore: i am lesbia*.
At first i believed this was a challenge that Allah had given me, i planned on either not getting married or getting married to a good man, taking that secret to the grave.

But then also being a woman, i naturally began to resent the religion, the people and the community whom acted pious and welcoming at the surface, but are truly egocentric and condescending.

Women are secondary in islam
The muslim men see women as objects made for their own pleasure, and the Quran does encourage this idea. Men only choose to follow the rulings that benefit them. In their own eyes, they are exempt from doing many sins which a woman should be banished or even honour killed for.

Some can argue that it is all the messed up, misconstrued culture, i did aswell. But we cannot stay ignorant as we have to admit that it is all rooted and encouraged by the Quran and the hadiths. People argue that it was the norm at the time, and a lot of those revelations are only applicable to the time of the prophet, but then this idea invalidated the Quran’s claim to be a timeless piece?

It kills me that all my friends are able to mindlessly follow whatever their parents have set for them.. I wish i had blind faith. The more i learn and research about islam intending on strengthening my faith, the more i stray from believing. We as humans will never truly know.

It sucks that i have to live unhappily like this if i want to stay connected and accepted by my family and friends.

Im still a child living with my family and i’ve spent the past 5 years every night praying and making dua that i don’t wake up in the morning. I feel cursed for being born a lesbia muslim woman. I don’t know what to do with myself.

i’m completely new, i’ve been slowly trying to implement the veganism into my lifestyle. But i’m young and i live with my family who eats culturally meaty food!! so at times i will break my veganism contract, even when i go out sometimes to eat.
My diet is mostly vegan at this point in time but i’m not strict on everything, and im not sure if i’ll ever reach that stage..