u/bluebcrry

1- Briefly describe yourself.

i’m really bad at introspection so please forgive me if this is bad. i think im a contradicting person who has many traits which all juxtapose each other. i suppose this could be called “two-faced” but i don’t like to think of myself as that deceiving and a bad person in that way even if deep down i feel like i am. i think i underestimate my strong traits and don’t really realise them until someone points it out. i like to talk about my favourite books, movies, concepts, hobbies etc. i’m a very social and outgoing person. sometimes i think this is to compensate for my lack of real connection and how lonely i truly am. i do crave connection and intensity however i don’t prioritise it. when it truly comes to something like that i think i push it away since i feel most comfortable when i’m with myself and fulfilled with my own needs. i’m really unhappy with my own life so i tend to filter it out. i sometimes love a book or movie so much i daydream about existing in that world, with an exciting story of my own. i either fully immerse myself into this or resort to the outside world. i’m prone to addiction no matter how much i try to quit. i’m just very impulsive and stubborn. as an autistic i get overwhelmed very easily and when i do i go quite numb or angry. people tell me if i were to be a parent i would have good boundaries and be very bossy. i’m a bossy person by nature and dislike people who don’t listen to what i have to say, specifically bad or annoying people, like children. otherwise i don’t really mind. i just have strong dislike for those who are attention seekers and spoilt brats. i also dislike when people don’t listen to me and my facts when im definitely right. i like to help people in the typology community online and can often come across as harsh, especially when they dislike or don’t follow correlations. all my friends are much more insecure and shyer than i am which i don’t understand. for example, one of my friends is really quiet and can barely speak to people who start a conversation with her. she tends to call me her “emotional support” and comes to me or asks me questions when she needs reassurance. even if it’s just silly little stuff, like “does this look nice, i’m scared to wear it?” or “should i post this or will everyone hate me?”. i’m a fairly an emotional person myself, however most of my friends get emotional over things like being unconfident and insecure. i can get pushy and impatient in scenarios like this and come across as cold and mean. i haven’t always been confident, i was infact very unmotivated and shy when i was younger. i almost gaslit myself into thinking i was better than everyone and more confident which eventually made me feel more confident too. i always try to help my friends become like this. as opposed to how outgoing and lively i seem on the outside, i’m a very negative person. i’m superficially positive. i LOVE to use fashion and makeup as a way to look nice. i’m very focused on how i look. fashion isn’t limited to just clothes; i mean stuff like overall aesthetic too, like how i curate and decorate my room, or for example how i want my accounts online to look, what i do and how i do it etc.

2- How do other people generally describe you? Do you agree? Why or why not?

i think this is part of what messes up my sense of self so much. i’m viewed quite differently to how i see my internal self. it’s not that i really perform, so i don’t know why. i may perform or act different but never because i want love or recognition. my (single) mum would say i’m emotional and aggressive. despite how much i love her and get along with her, we often have disagreements and fights. i don’t ever think i’m the main one responsible for this and i believe she’s just sensitive and gets offended easily. however i’m quick to cry or get angry because of the emotions i bottle up inside of me, hence why she says i’m emotional. i’ve always had emotional and mental issues since a child. whenever speaking to a counsellor i can’t open up though, it’s like i’m physically unable to. they tell me i’m too emotionally closed off to form real and deep relationships hence why i don’t have anyone to call my significant other or a best friend. i don’t really know whether i agree or not. perhaps i just don’t open up to them because i don’t feel comfortable. the closer friends i do have, say i’m emotional. more emotional over logical. which i disagree with, i think i’m more logical however not too forceful. i used to have a close relationship with this girl who i truly hated and due to my dislike towards her i was very cold and forceful, she would say i was too opinionated. my friends don’t mean i’m emotional but not in the sense that i cry or get actually emotional. i’m just more expressive, especially facially, and adaptable. i don’t like any of these friends but i’m nice to them so they often call me their emotional support. i don’t understand that either. there’s times where i’m supportive and nice, and other times where i’m very mean and call them dramatic for being upset, trying to force them to “man up”. sorry i’ve talked about emotions most of the time. i don’t feel emotions very strongly and i feel a bit ashamed about that. instead i feel persistent numbness and emptiness. some of my other friends say i’m loud and impulsive, which i do agree with, i’m very talkative and it takes me long to shut up. at the same time, i ghost people very easily and break contact when i don’t want to speak to anyone. i’m quite lazy but it brings me joy. i get stressed easily with the workload i have to do and procrastinate as to not be bored by doing it. i make up excuses so i don’t have to do work and try to rationalise it. my close friends also say i’m a fun and energetic person, which i agree with. i always love to have fun, however my energy levels are extreme highs and lows.

3- What do you want out of life?

i don’t know. i guess i just want to be happy overall? also to be successful, and live a good life. i want to be able to experience everything that’s fun and stimulating. i can’t do some things because of religion. sometimes i feel like i follow religion purely so i don’t go to hell because i’m so scared of hell and the pain in it. i do believe in God deep down, but i’m bad at religious practices and following/remembering them. i became ‘religious’ at around 10 because of this. i sometimes sin anyway and feel guilty after, but end up doing it again and the cycle repeats. i’m so prone to addiction too that i try to stop stuff but i physically can’t. of course, i refuse to get therapy or anything for this. i don’t really talk about it, and if i do i joke about it. i want love too. i want some exciting love story for the fun of it but then actually being in a relationship looks restrictive. i’ve only ever loved one person and they’re a horrible person🤷‍♀️ despite being moderately lazy i still have goals to succeed and do very well in my life. i aim to make a lot of money and just feel happy with my success and achievements. i want to do this by doing something i enjoy and earn a lot in. when i say live a good life, i want to help people. i want to help people believe in what i believe in, things that are right and wrong, both morally and logically. i want to stand up for insecure people against injustice, and help them fight the system. i’ve been described as anti-social and rebellious but in the sense that i still ally with my community and friends. i also want to make people understand why some things are logically set in place, and follow specific rules/principles.

4- What do you avoid like the plague?

ah i don’t know. i guess things that are boring, things that drain me. its kind of vague. i think i mentioned previously how i tend to rationalise my irrational excuses that i use to get out of things i dislike or bore me, like schoolwork. i also tend to avoid having to talk to people or have conversations with them. i swap between complete isolation and being very outgoing. when i’m active and out, i tend to be very social. when it gets to breaks and time off work/school i often just ignore people because talking to them drains me. i genuinely find everyone annoying and weird. it sounds like a me problem but in reality ive been told i’m more mature than other people my age so i don’t get along with them as well. i’m not really sure what to think of this but everyone i’m remotely sort of close to i just find immature and annoying. i don’t really know what to say for this, there’s not much i can think of.

5- What is usually going through your head when you’re with other people?

a lot of the time i think of what i’ll be doing next or what i could be doing if they weren’t there with me, and i will want to do that instead, even if i’m genuinely enjoying what i’m doing in that present moment. i think i’m just unsatisfied and quite ungrateful. i’m always thinking about the next time i will have something. i struggle with communicating with people and am unsure about my closeness/connections, so i sometimes overthink what i say or do around them. if i’m with family i tend to act differently, more smiley and i suppose sort of people pleasing in a way, i don’t really care what they think of me though. all of my cousins are a lot younger than me, toddler age. they’re all brats who stress me out and drain me, so i just tend to go stoic and retreat into a fantasy world in my head. i can be very bossy and angry at the same time though with how they act and what they do, as their parents don’t really care about their behaviour. i don’t think some people are fit to have children and specific individuals just shouldn’t be allowed. i tend to take into my head what’s happening in the present moment, and change it in my imagination to make someone else appear or something crazy happen. i sometimes go quiet because i tend to wish that someone i love more and really miss was with me, instead of who i’m with.

6- What are you usually thinking about on your own?

i suppose a lot of the previous question could also apply to this one. i tend to make scenarios in my head about things that will never happen, or i like to research my hobbies and interests, for example typology. i usually think about movies i watched and enjoy, or books, and pick out certain parts and quotes to think about. it sounds weird but i like to imagine myself on a podcast with random people in my head just talking about stuff. like i said, things like movies, books, my hobbies, interests, people etc. in reality i feel nobody really wants to listen to what i have to say so i do it in my mind. sometimes i just worry and fear about things, but i keep it to myself and try to push it down. for example i worry about my competence and capabilities in specific aspects and if i’m incapable of something i spiral and get distressed.

7- What’s the first thing you notice when you walk in a room?

i suppose i notice what the room smells like, feels like, looks like, what’s there, who’s there etc. it doesn’t necessarily bother me but i’m naturally more attuned to this. i also tend to pay attention what everyone is doing and who is communicating with each other. i don’t know how much to elaborate on this..

8- If you meditate, is there a pattern to the kinds of distracting thoughts that pop up?

for starters i don’t really meditate as i think it’s a useless way to manage problems. i mean, your mind is just empty with nothing to distract you, so you’re bound to stress or think about something that’s bothering you? i suppose when i do ‘meditate’, or something like when i’m trying to fall asleep, im always thinking about what i’ll be doing tomorrow. stuff like what i’ll eat, where i’ll go, what i’ll wear etc. or making up imaginative scenarios and stories in my head. its always random, there’s not really a set pattern. i have a bad attention span anyway

9- Is there something you tend to notice that others don’t?

i think i’m better at reading (through) people though i don’t tend to show it. i can easily see behind others external personality and understand their motivations, why they act the way they do. i tend to notice when people are fake or not genuine, and when i bring this up to others they just brush it off. i am right though, definitely, as i tend to confront these fake people who do agree and tell the truth after enough pushing. some may consider me fake, though i do think i am able to hide it better. i’m more unrestrained, i just adapt more easily when connecting or communicating with others.

10- What do you find most irritating or baffling about others?

i hate snobs, or just stuck up people who act like they’re better than everyone else just because of wealth or status. i think status is a stupid thing and have always disliked my peers who are ‘posers’ to gain popularity. i have always been popular yet never abused this popularity to be more liked. i dislike attention seekers with a passion. i tend to put them in their place and make fun of them. i get told i can be quite mean when talking to people i dislike or can’t tolerate but i think i’m just being civil. i also don’t like when people think they’re entitled to a specific thing. when i was a child, there was a girl who would always hog a seat in the library and barge past everyone, running, in order to get this seat. it got to a point where i would race her and through her bags down to teach her a lesson. eventually i would give up and call her rude names because realistically i didn’t want the seat, i just wanted her to realise what a twat she was. i know i can be bossy and strict but i also dislike when immature people don’t listen to me. i can often make people cry by how sharp i am with my scolding, which i think i get used to. from a young age i have strongly disliked certain kinds of people.

11- What tends to set you off, what does it feel like, and how do you react to it?

i dislike being wound up or made fun of. i think this can make me extremely angry and frustrated. i sometimes shout when this happens. i’ve always had anger issues which are hard to control. it’s not like i’m insecure or desperate to be liked in any way, i just dislike being mocked. this is a childish one but when i don’t get what i want, after perfectly planning out my method and structure to achieve it, i get angry and sometimes emotional. i always want more and can be ungrateful in this sense. a lot of what i listed last paragraph sets me off too, like i said i get angry.

12- Have there been any recurring patterns in your relationships?

i love my friends so much, but often get told i’m just not ‘enough’ for a relationship/friendship. even if i do care it’s hard for me to put effort into it. this is usually with people closer to me. on the outside, when forming connections, i’m often too loud and too much. like crazy. i can also be insensitive towards others emotions. everyone i’ve befriended has been, in my opinion, consistently more emotional than me. well, externally. inside i’m deeply emotional and complex. which i find hard to deal with as someone who isn’t stereotypically sympathetic. i think, even though i seem indifferent, deep down i am empathetic. as a child i was always called emotionally intelligent which i took a lot of pride in. i don’t know when that changed, but it did. unless i’m perceiving myself wrong. despite all this, i’m also a lot more jokier than people i know. specifically with dark humour. i think this has caused a lot of misunderstandings in my relationships. i think the average person i communicate with wouldn’t really notice any of this, but when i get to know people they realise how i am. i don’t know how to expand if i’m honest. i’m a shit communicator and just bad in relationships. i want someone to trust and fully merge with. i want to live with someone else, or not even a person, but a concept. i have no ability to make this work and often jump from person to person, but still can feel awkward.

13- What would you say is your greatest weakness or limitation?

self-control. i have many goals but also have bad self-control. i want to be skinny, but i eat a lot; i want to have friends, but i ghost everyone; i want to be good, but i do bad things etc. this doesn’t pair well with being prone to addiction, because in that sense i give up easily on sobriety.

14- Optimist or pessimist? & Why?

i think i’m an optimist however superficially optimistic. i’m so deeply unhappy with my life and the world that i force myself into a constant state of happiness where i don’t have to worry or feel anything. it’s more like numbness where i can adapt and mask being optimistic or forward-looking. an example i can think of was where i was younger and went on this camping trip with school. i won’t really go into detail but within the first 2 days and even day, it was genuinely fucking traumatising. it got to the point where i had no actual will to live. the whole time, deep down, i wanted to die and was extremely negative. i had extreme highs and lows at the start, but eventually it got to a point where nobody would be able to realise how upset and unhappy i was based on how i was acting. i just wanted to be alone, but i couldn’t. so whenever my friends or people i knew kept complaining openly about how awful it is or just making it miserable i would snap and isolate myself. i didnt want to realise how awful it truly was. only people who know me very well (like 2 people) would be able to say im more negative than positive.

15- Do you go directly after what you want? Why or why not?

i can’t really think of an instance to apply this to but yes i guess so? i like to make plans more and have steps to follow through with. or i wing it completely in the moment, like impulse. sorry it’s vague i have no idea what to say

16- What’s it like to be you? You can give a metaphor or a general answer.

i think compared to a lot of people i know, especially growing up poor/common in a rich or snobbish area, i’ve been through more than my peers. i don’t really like to say it out loud because it sounds attention seeking, however i feel more mature and well, not academically smarter, but generally smarter than them. i feel like a rollercoaster, i have so many highs and lows, changes in personality, changes in life, that i don’t really feel like a person anymore. who am i?

!! i can elaborate if needed. i think i may have subconsciously leaned towards a type so i don’t mind expanding at all

i’m stuck between IEE and ILE. i’m going to list some traits that i have, which i thought would be attributed to Ti or weak Fi, however am leaning towards IEE

i’m not necessarily a rule follower within places like work and school. if i deem it as stupid or unnecessarily restrictive, i will break the rules. however, i like to follow rules that i like and find make sense, for example most correlations in typology. when i find a topic interesting and excitable, i tend to research it a lot and be very knowledgeable on it. if i’m not interested then i don’t really care at all. i enjoy knowledge and facts as it makes me excited and i just genuinely enjoy absorbing new information. i can struggle with relationships and knowing how people feel about me, however i like to find out by asking questions about how i am perceived. i often get deep infatuations with random topics i enjoy. i don’t want to explain why i enjoy them or take interest in them but i know what i like and have a whole network of identity in my head.

i’m not very knowledgeable in socionics at all so if none of that is helpful, or if anyone wants to help me learn more and figure out more, i would appreciate it! i’m also stuck between sp7 and sx7 :/

Hi all, I’m seeking advice and reassurance. it’s a yap but please read!!!
I’m a female young teenager muslim. I was born to a christian (non-practicing) mum, and muslim (non-practicing) father. my father has been absent in my life and i’ve had no proper contact with him or his family since a baby, as he wasn’t a nice person. i wasn’t raised religiously, however around 2 years ago i reverted and became a muslim as my beliefs of God and religion aligned with the islamic stories. i didn’t know how to pray, or anything like that. none of my family know, like grandparents and aunty/uncle. my mum does know, however we never really talk about it as she’s not the most supportive. i don’t mind that, however i’ve never been to a mosque or any religious place. a lot of my friends are muslim but they’re very judgemental so i don’t go to them for advice. i still don’t know how to pray salah and still haven’t properly read Quran. i do use an app that has the english translation of quran which is useful because i’d prefer to understand the message before learning the arabic version. as for salah, i use this app called Namaz and i am still learning Tashahuud (i think it’s called?). i’m really forgetful so it’s hard for me to learn it, and have been going through a lot recently, with life changes and just overall depression. i’m also in the process of being diagnosed audhd. i have anxiety disorder which makes my stress worse but it’s just overwhelming worrying about how much of a bad muslim i am.
i get easily addicted so sin easily and no matter how much discipline i have i just relapse with everything. i don’t dress that modestly, i had puberty young so i never really got to be a child or have fun in that kind of way. i don’t think i’ll ever feel comfortable in hijab. and again, i struggle with reading quran and praying. sorry this is very messy but im just paranoid

what the title says. i’ve been in the community for 5/6 years, and badly got into it at a young age, i have great understanding of the systems, however as someone neurodivergent i find it hard to understand myself and apply the theory to myself. i’ve typed as probably every single type. and my knowledge isn’t flawed at all, for example when trying to find my enneagram, i look at all triads, all cores, vices and virtues, instincts alone, literally everything. i know i’m an sx dom but my actual enneagram is the problem. and its not just me, other people have typed me and i have been typed by strangers as every type before. most get too confused to carry on typing me. i’ve tried every method to fix this. i’ve taken breaks, i’ve looked on a deeper level, examined my behaviour, my childhood etc. i’m not an attachment type in enneagram either, for sure. a lot of the time i attach myself to characters and concepts i feel deeply within me because i feel i am them so i must become them. i sound insane but idk. and i don’t think i’ll just be able to refrain from typing myself and analysing myself. i have to but at the same time its draining trying to figure it out. can someone help me find my type? and not with basic descriptions and stuff where i can subconsciously choose what i want to be but maybe i can answer some vague questions and give description about myself.

i’m mostly sure that my tritype is 127 however unsure on the order. i don’t believe i’m a 7 core.
ive never posted on this sub before, however posted stuff like this on another subreddit a while ago

what the title says. people on this sub have said to me before “i’m surprised you change your type so much”, but nothing seems to resonate with me much. i’ve been in the community for 5/6 years, and have great understanding of the systems, however as someone neurodivergent i find it hard to understand myself and apply the theory to myself. i’ve typed as every single type. and my knowledge isn’t flawed at all, for example when trying to find my enneagram, i look at all triads, all cores, vices and virtues, instincts alone, literally everything. and its not just me, other people have typed me and i have been typed by strangers as every type before. i’ve tried every method to fix this. i’ve taken breaks, i’ve looked on a deeper level, examined my behaviour, my childhood etc. i’m not an attachment type in enneagram either, i’m pretty sure i’m not. a lot of the time i attach myself to characters and concepts i feel deeply within me and want to become them whilst also serving them. i sound insane but idk. and i don’t think i’ll just be able to refrain from typing myself and analysing myself. i have to but at the same time its draining trying to figure it out. can someone help me find my type? and not with basic descriptions and stuff where i can subconsciously choose what i want to be but maybe i can answer some vague questions and give description about myself.

how do i differentiate these in myself? i did type as LSE however i’m considering ESE as i feel my Fe is very strong

Where should I start watching from? I only started properly watching about a year ago, and classic EE looks so much more interesting and dramatic so I wanted to watch that as well. I had seen a bit of 2007 EE, where Stacey and Max have an affair which was very dramatic and entertaining, so like around when stuff like that starts, or perhaps earlier.

they are always conscious of how much time they have, trying to calculate how long stuff will take or if it will be quick, and having a bad attention span when having to do things like watch long movies at the cinema. when on a time limit and/or running out of time, they get very worried and want to be quick. others slowing them down is a big nuisance and overwhelms them. they wish they had more time and feel they’re running out of time, but at the same time struggle to prepare for things that are soon. all things - like the future, present, and past - are in the same time frame for them.

i’m stuck between LSE and LIE lol

(some parts of this are written as if i’m talking one-on-one since i sent it to a person who was helping me)

there’s many systems i dislike and rules i find unfair and unjust so i try to fix them or fight against them. even if it’s just arguing against someone who follows the rules and hasn’t necessarily created them. but i also tend to try and fix people. i may get it confused with love in a way. it’s like i may attach myself to a person to try and fix them and all of their flaws. i don’t even realise i do this. this is why i mistyped as e2 before because of the helping people aspect but instead it’s reforming. but things and structures that are unfair to everyone really annoy me. for example there was this person who i was friends with, and overtime they became a worse person because of the system wronging them. their parents were evil, the school system didn’t help them, their psychiatrists didn’t help them, the police never listened, nothing worked. i blame them just as much as i blame the system and it brings me anger. i try to fix both. i try to fix them and reform them back into a better and kinder person but when this doesn’t work i get angry. it didn’t work, they’re still horrible, so i had to learn that some things and people can’t be fixed. but i did try and will still try if i had the chance to contact them. but i also blame the system and structure for wronging them. nobody helped him when he needed help, there was nobody for him to go to. and i think that needs fixing so more people don’t end up like that. but i don’t have the power to do anything as such which really brings me frustration. the system has wronged me too i’d say. as someone who has grown up with additional needs and neurodivergence i’ve never received the help i should’ve been given and it makes me upset in a way. i don’t think that should happen to people. and i’m quite passionate about it when it comes up as a subject. i could probably “argue” and reason for very long about why it’s wrong. or why something is unfair. i mostly follow my own moral code rather than rules set in place so some view me as rebellious. i swap between rebellion and conforming. i often follow school rules and am considered a good person in the sense i was a nice and mature role model. but there are other times where i don’t do work in class and play games instead to have fun. getting caught makes me feel really ashamed though as i dont want someone to view me as bad. i have high standards but don’t always enforce on others, but i express anger in other ways. like i get angry at my mother a lot openly when she doesn’t meet my expectations and will be shouting at her trying to make her act the way i like. in public i’m more laid back and less angry. i only get angry in situations where my voice isnt heard. where people don’t listen to me and set unfair rules in place. i constantly dream of becoming some great person who makes fair rules for everyone and doesn’t restrict basic human rights, basically reforming the system. for example the school system or police system. i’m not a cold person in general though unless with people i dislike. when i dislike someone i go cold and stoic and hope to intimidate them because they don’t align with my morals, but i still push myself to be nice to them as i need to be the bigger better person. in general i’m a playful and kind person. my friends say im extremely kind and like to make people feel heard, but i’m quite impulsive and aggressive.
i can get very angry and sometimes use bad language even though its wrong. for example i had gotten angry at a girl the other for being unfair. i won’t elaborate on what. i got a bit aggressive and called her a bitch then just walked off as not to fight anymore. i did also throw her bag on the floor but i wont explain that either as its part of the (childish) reason i got angry😭. i was really angry in the moment and started venting to the person closest to me. however when i then got back to see my friends i went quite rigid and acted almost emotionless.
i’ll tell you theres this other example from when i was younger about this person who was constantly attention seeking. she would fake injuries for attention and start crying and blaming people for things they didn’t do. i was shocked nobody stood up to her, nobody told higher authorities what she was doing, as they always took her side claiming she was just sensitive. i often told her if she moped about crying then she wouldn’t get any friends. i also sometimes make fun of her for something like fake limping or forcing tears. i would mock her. but mostly i would ask her quite boldly “why do you do this?” to make her think about what she was really doing. there were other times where i would try to be nice to her. not necessarily nice but civil. i would treat her like she was average since i think in reality were all equal. so i did sometimes get shocked when she told people i was mean to her constantly. i was never mean in my eyes i was just helping her. i have actually mistyped as e8 before too. my friends see me as quite aggressive and said i was scary before we spoke, which i find strange because im nice to everyone. my mother would say im extremely aggressive. the sx1 description you gave really describes how i would act with her. im more emotional around her and a lot more aggressive, a bit physically and of course with the name calling. so now im unsure again. because i am also more undisciplined and find it harder to control myself. i easily fall back into addiction and its really hard for me. but i will then judge the other person for doing what i do. i am alot of the time also unable to control myself and my anger, only around people im close to. for example swearing when i’m angry at someone for being unfair, but also being against swearing. and being undisciplined. i try to control myself and restrict from bad habits/addictions but tend to fall back in. i deeply fear how society will become in years to come and want a job to help solve societal issues. i like to reform people one-on-one and also within communities. i’m not too aggressive if people don’t agree with my morals or opinions, i just get called opinionated. i don’t take things too personally and get annoyed when someone else does. i just have anger and emotional problems. i do however have emotional standards.
i either conform or rebel. if someone i know wants to rebel i often advise them to conform and vice versa (i would advise them to rebel if conforming specifically to something i deem unfair). i like to have good manners and be the ideal moral person to others to serve as a role model, but often fail at this. sometimes i like to be seen as rebellious too. sorry if i were to elaborate on “reforming” others i would say i try to make them feel more inferior and less knowledgeable than me in order for them to respect and believe me more. i get angry when they don’t listen to what i say or go against my methods/rules however i don’t take my anger out on them unless they’re being a total bitch haha. but when it’s someone i’m close, which usually means i look up to them, i’m very emotional and explosive, even crying (i often have meltdowns) because i get so worked up. and i try to make them promise they’ll act the way i want. like my ideal in my head. and i know they won’t but i try anyway and get even more angry that they won’t, which sounds immature. i think my anger is reasonable and allowed when someone keeps saying they’ll change when they don’t. when i had a friend who changed into a horrible person i sent them a huge paragraph telling them how mean they have become and listing all the things they do/have done which make me and others feel that they are like that. it was a bit dramatic and immature now that i think back on it. its just because they’re the only person i’d say ive ever truly loved and felt a connection with, and when i realised they changed so much it made me feel so much pain i wanted to change them. when they replied they didn’t seem to care and made me look pathetic. i guess at the time i didnt even realise i was angry and just blocked them, stopped speaking to them. but over time my anger began to grow and took a toll on me. i progressed to realise how mean they were and what they’ve become.

i’ve been into enneagram for 5+ years so have a good understanding of the system, however as a neurodivergent i find it extremely hard to perceive myself as how i actually act (if that makes sense). i’m really struggling with resonating with a head and heart fix. i’m an sx1 btw. can someone give advice and help?

for heart i’ve narrowed it down to 3 and 4, and as for head i could be any of them.

i’m pretty sure i’m both however i’m also a correlationist, so if it doesn’t work something must be wrong😭 i’m also a VLFE in psychosophy/ap

i saw an old comment with a lot up upvotes, which said that LIE never falls into depression compared to someone like EIE. does this mean an LIE is always positive? i’m mostly sure i’m an LIE however i do like to dwell on negative emotions sometimes. i have a positive outlook a lot but it’s mostly superficial happiness where i trick myself into thinking everything is fine. but i just go through phases of extremeee highs and lows
i am still considering LSE, and even considered Fe base however i fit Fe role a lot more. i just don’t know if i’m too lazy and too much of a procrastinator for a Te base

i actually feel like i have weak Fi however i feel like 1D Fi seems to unemotional for me. for example, i view people and concepts as completely black and white, i’m quite morally grey but will lean to one end of the spectrum. however there are things like i do need reassurance from people with strong Fi and do struggle with emotional atmospheres. i just actually like to drown in my own emotions and make scenarios in my head where i can wallow. but by descriptions i think i’m a logical type, and Te base. in enneagram i type as e1 too but i’m really unsure on everything. does anyone have advice?

height: 163cm
weight: 10st 8lb (67kg)
activity level: light activity, exercise/walking 1-4 times a week, try to do 10k steps a day and pilates (gym too if i have time)
daily calorie intake: ≈ 1200cal
macros: 35/35/30
i also have suspected pcos so i don’t know if that affects it

THIS ISNT A TYPE ME POST!!
repost because it got taken down. i made a post about this before on another subreddit, however i really can’t seem to figure out if im sx1 or so1. i’m not just talking about subtypes - i’m referring to instincts too. i relate to both social and sexual equally, as well as so1 and sx1 equally.
various many people have typed me as so1 but many have also typed me as sx1. i just want advice

!!!i consider myself advanced and proficient in enneagram however i’m neurodivergent so have a hard time figuring myself out.