
Que Sera Sera
Do what must, come what may.
Let it be, and just be.
Take it easy friends ✌️

Do what must, come what may.
Let it be, and just be.
Take it easy friends ✌️
Look, I am no angel but I do try to be a good person as much as I can. But recently I've noticed just how mean spirited people have become. Don't get me wrong I know assholes have always existed but I swear people are just becoming more selfish.
The amount of hate, racism, homophobia I see online is insane. And yes I know I should expect that on the internet but these are still real people sharing their thoughts..
People road raging like nobodys business, cars pulling out dangerously cause god forbid they have to wait a few extra seconds. Getting upset when people drive the speed limit instead of speeding so they tail gate. People honking their horns over nothing and screaming out of their windows over minor inconveniences.
People huffing and tsking in line when a poor eldery person is taking a bit longer to check out their shopping. If you're in such a fucking rush go to the half empty self scan tills instead of waiting in line.
I could think of a million more examples. But like wtf??! Why are people so fucking unempathetic? And a lot of times I swear people are going out of their way to be an asshole.
Loooooooooooong story short...
Grew up in high dysfunctional household, alcoholism/drugged parents so no real adult figures, neglect, manipulation, abuse, abandonment... Led to my outdoor world not being good too, I became a target as I became more depressed and quiet, scapegoat at home and outside to bullies...
CPTSD. I learn behaviours to keep places safe. React in certain ways. Dont speak up. I became extremely hyper vigilant. On edge. Low self worth. Isolating.
You get the picture it's been ROUGH.
But through all of that I never let it defeat me and I kept going. To the point I made my own creative business which is something I love. Although I brought all my pain in that world too. A mixture of the blessings and the pain. Bad relationships. Bad behaviour by myself in all walks of life. Drinking/drugs to try fit in. Validation seeking. Ego. Competition with others. Keeping up with joneses..... Blah blah blah...
NOW years later in my 30s now I couldn't take it anymore, it felt like my life was a lie, I was wearing this mask to fit in with everyone, it felt so soulless and inauthentic.
I moved abroad and left it all behind. Quite literally. I have my little online business and just me in new countries travelling around. Now I found somewhere I love. Got visa etc.
I been in professional help for 4 years now. Therapy. Emdr. For many years I did excercise, meditation, breathwork, grounding, eat whole foods, reading etc these kind of healthy habits we're told to do but it just was a band aid. The therapy etc and working with practitioners has been incredibly life changing.
I'm at a point now where I'm so grateful for the change and I see so much more clearly all of this life and where I went wrong. Things that werent my fault but made me the way I am as a kid. Pure survival mode for a decade+.
Long story not so short but jhees I'll wrap it up.
I'm now at a point where I'm socialising again and meeting new people and it almost feels like I'm fighting this performer. Feeling like I need to speak a certain way or something. VS being quite quiet/stern is how I feel I might naturally be. When someone asks me something it feels like I'm TRYING to respond vs NATURALLY responding. I'm still on edge almost like every question is a test. Authority is bad. I'm trying to regain my power/agency.
How do you even find your voice/character/personality again? To be able to be myself, to connect with people, build community, love etc?
Now for those who say God doesn't exist, that's fine. Let's take that word completely off the table. However, science keeps bumping into something it can't fully name.
Here is what science has found.
The Higgs field is an invisible field that permeates the entire universe and gives matter its mass. Everywhere and in everything. It cannot be seen but its effects can be measured.
Quantum entanglement where two particles separated by billions of miles instantly affect each other the moment one is observed. No signal passes between them nor any physical connection, yet they respond to each other instantly across impossible distances.
Science has no clean explanation for what connects them.
This fine tuned universe where the mathematical constants that govern all of physics are so precisely calibrated that the slightest variation, even by a fraction of a decimal will result in zero existence. No stars, planets or life. The odds of that happening randomly are so astronomically small that even hardcore scientists quietly admit it gives them pause.
NASA confirmed that the universe has a measurable hum. A vibration. A frequency running through everything. Not silence or emptiness but a sound.
Pythagoras heard it and called it the music of the spheres, and Kepler mapped it mathematically. Christ called it the Holy Ghost. The Vedic tradition calls it Nada Brahma, or the sound in the universe.
Now strip the word God, religion and everything that makes people defensive.
What's left is something intelligent and precise, that was vast enough to build a universe and small enough to be inside every atom of it.
Random doesn't produce this and Chaos doesn't calibrate physics to the last decimal. Explosion doesn't create consciousness that can sit and question its own existence.
Something is behind all of this. Call it what you want. But it's there. And what is this force exactly.
It's not a man sitting on a throne making decisions. It's not a deity that can be bribed with prayer or appeased with ritual. It's something far beyond what any religion has ever been able to fully contain in words, buildings or books.
Think about what this intelligence actually means.
The Intelligence with the ability to conceive, design, organize and execute with precision and purpose. Look at what this force did.
It started with absolutely nothing, no raw materials or any existing template. From nothing, and then suddenly everything that which science calls the Big Bang.
The rules it set haven't shifted once.
Gravity works the same way on the other side of the universe as it does here.
The speed of light hasn't changed in fourteen billion years.
Everything it built connects to everything else. Pull one thread and the whole thing unravels. The smallest particle and the largest galaxy are part of the same system. Not loosely connected but deeply, precisely and unavoidably connected.
It didn't do any of this one thing at a time. All of it from the smallest quantum interaction to the largest cosmic structure happened together.
Then as if that wasn't enough, it placed inside one small species on one small planet in one ordinary galaxy the ability to become aware of all of this.
It made us, human beings.
We look up at the stars and ask where did we come from. We look inward and ask who am I. We feel love, compassion, conscience, awe.
No random process produces awe and no explosion generates the desire to understand itself.
That ability to look inward, to love, to choose right over wrong, it didn't just appear. Something put it there, that understood it mattered.
That is the intelligent creative force.
Not God in the religious sense that makes people defensive.
Not the bearded figure that atheists correctly point out makes no logical sense.
This is older than religion. Older than any name any human being ever gave it. Every tradition in every corner of the world has independently pointed in the same direction, using different words, rituals and stories.
That admission that we don't fully know what's running all of this is honestly the closest anyone has ever gotten to describing it accurately.
Finally, you don't have to look far for evidence of this. The most extraordinary example of intelligent design isn't in a lab or a telescope. It's you, me, all of us, our bodies running clockwork every single day.
Unless acted upon by a force of nature. But still pretty cool