u/captainHoltsDawg

I’ve just gone through one of the worst ocd seasons.
My obsessions centered sense of self and the things I love about my self, causing my confidence to crumble and forcing me to rebuild my life. That’s was stimulated by exam stress and now that exams are over I want my self back. I’m mourning over the person i used to be, i just miss the freedom i had in my own mind.

I know it isn’t gone (my high intellect, my acting and drawing skills). It’s just my confidence which has a a profound effect on these components of my character, and impacts the outcome of each activity which requires one of these characteristics.

So, I know my OCD is convincing me that it’s all gone, which will cause me to spiral further and overthink. But how do I get my confidence back do I just trust myself and not over think, obviously but I’m scared it won’t be as good. But I know I will come back stronger bc I would have finally conquered and overcome one of the hardest things to overcome: insecurity.

Hi I’m 18F, for the last couple months I haven’t been taking care of my skin due to exams. I’ve tried to get a routine back and I used the HaruHaru black rice toner with a beta glucan serum and the purtio moisturiser and serum but it just seemed to evaporate and wouldn’t give the me glow I was used to.

Same thing now I just bought exfoliation pads, the centella ampuole milky toner with the epii barrier cream and same thing has happened! It just evaporated and I’m really upset because I’ve spend like £100 and I don’t know why my skin won’t absorb anything, and still feels freaking dry!?!😣😣

i have a feeling i will be capped for this i didnt do it in any other 16 marker, i only did this because i didnt have time and wanted to get my points across

any hope or am i cooked

im aware it says in continuous prose but i was an in the moment situation and i forgot

Hey guys,

As you can tell by the title I’ve slipped away from the faith. And I want to get back in but honestly im questioning a lot of things now. Just niche things not the fundamentals of Christianity. But I do have a lot of questions. I would say im less “religous” and more relationship. I know that statement is controversial but I’ve lost interest in studying theology and Christian debates, it doesn’t bring my soul peace and it’s not helpful in the trajectory of my life.

I haven’t felt happy since I stopped trying. But I never was happy when I was trying, I felt worse Well, most of time im always unhappy, I have OCD so it’s a debilitating disorder but im feeling a bit more free to be me.

I’m in a season where im finding self confidence and self love, which I think is the root of most my problems. I’m into yoga and meditation now (not the spiritual side) but learning how to disconnect and focus on the moment.
I’m about to read a book called how to not gaf and im starting to learn to rely on myself a bit more and I know that human nature is unreliable but that’s part of the experience embracing ambiguity.

I’m going to Christian camp this summer so hopefully I will fill more motivated to be reconnect. I also want a relationship with someone but I know it can never work bc I need to be in a relationship with a man of God and I don’t want to lead anyone on, which I shamefully admit is part of the reason why I feel like I need to get right with God.

Anyone sympathise with my experience or ever experienced this?

I want to try meds but im so so so scared about the long term effects but I can’t keep living with this paralysing anxiety

Sometimes it feels like im being electric shocked almost when I try and ignore the thoughts

Edit: I just feel like im about to be free of it and everytime I feel like Im about to beat it once and for all it it’s like my body rejects the freedom that’s handed on to Silver platter bc I’ve acclimatised to not being stressed out 24/7 for the last 6 years. But maybe meds will give that push i need over the finish line , im proud of myself tho I’ve naturally been able to abandon 4 obsessions but I think it’s time I give myself a rest

I’m nearly at the end of being free of it tho I can feel it

Does anyone else feel like this?

Right now my obsession slash fear is getting content wrong bc I think im not smart enough when im studying and it’s making me goo insane.

Bc normally this doesn’t happen but for the last two months it has. It’s like my brain freezes and goes into lock down and I feel feel paralysed by fear and like all the symptoms I’m worried I about like memory loss, drop in iq, actually fee like they are happening?!

I know it’s an illusion and it’s probably all a by product of fear and focusing on the obsession.

Does anyone get muscle twitches in their faces or random muscle spams when they try and sit with the anxiety?

Has anyone tried yoga to help with ocd

I want to give up.

Hi I’m 18F, London

If the people closest were to describe me they would say bubbly, talented, kind and intelligent. If people who were my “friends” were to describe me it would be “nice” = boring.

I just find myself being intimidated by people who are more extroverted than me and larger groups. AND I HATE IT. My nervous system responds as if it’s a threat and I just go into flight or fight mode and when I try and speak I stutter and my head is spinning with obsessive thoughts about people not liking me.

I understand I shouldn’t gaf and I should accept that everyone is not going to loke you and holds a different perception of you.

For example, today I had a party and wanted some alcohol to feel confident and there was none and I had to be myself and I was so awkward and there were moments were I didn’t think and just spoke and it went well but I made up a lie about my parents needing me and went home early. I really wanted to not give a fuck, talk to whoever and just be myself.

I’m afraid of judgment and rejection. Obviously 🙄. Because I sometimes don’t feel like I fit in anywhere or I’m always dreaming of having different qualities, I struggled with comparison a lot in my childhood and would often spend my time envisioning my life as if I were them.

I get labelled “whitewashed” a lot and it hurts. I love my Ghanian culture and want to tap more into it but I’m afraid it will look like I’m trying too hard. People judge me too bc I also dress quite girly and pinky but I like the way I dress and that’s why I get called whitewashed.

But when I’m by myself I feel so great and I can say anything but idk I feel like most of my interests are rooted in wanting to seem intelligent when I already am/male validation.

I just want to like myself and not give a fuck but i don’t know how. I want to listen to Afro beats with out weird looks, I also wanna listen to Laufey too. I want to be loud but understanding, by myself I’m funny as hell and when I get out my head and make jokes people laugh. I have OCD which is hard.

But how do i stop giving a fuck

Hey guys I’m 18F, and I’m in the UK about to take my a level exams.

I can’t seem to focus. For about the last two months my obsession has been based on worrying about my intelligence and my acting talent (I’m an actress) and it’s absolute hell. I have a very high intellect everyone around me says it all the time I know I’m a clever girl! I also know that I’m a fantastic performer, loads of people come up to me and tell me and my peers and family express the same opinion. And I just keep focusing on the what if, what if what if?! You guys know how it is with OCD. In the last five years I have dealt with ROCD and POCD, which were also unpleasant but this is different because I’m literally worrying about my personality and character which as caused me to lose my sense of self.

Usually for my mock exams I revise a day before and I get an A and that’s usually bc I ran out of time! This time it’s the real thing and I don’t want to leave it up to chance that I won’t get my A, I’m supposed to be going Warwick and I need ABB.

Anyway, I’m at the state where I basically cannot revise bc during the revision session I just am overthinking and trying to combat my negative thoughts and it’s fighting an uphill battle. I know the key is to sit and ignore the thoughts but i genuinely feel emotionally paralysed.

And on top of this memory ocd is occurring and I keep getting worried that I won’t remember anything and then I find I actually can’t remember that specific content, for example I’m doing flashcards and I get anxious that I can’t remember what’s on the back of it (i definitely can I have done so in the past, long term memory is up to a life time and you just forget) and I just get upset that my brain isn’t functioning normally and then I don’t revise. And it’s so hard bc I want to show off in my exams but it feels like I’m learning how to think again

Any tips??

Hey guys I’m 18F, and I’m in the UK about to take my a level exams.

I can’t seem to focus. For about the last two months my obsession has been based on worrying about my intelligence and my acting talent (I’m an actress) and it’s absolute hell. I have a very high intellect everyone around me says it all the time I know I’m a clever girl! I also know that I’m a fantastic performer, loads of people come up to me and tell me and my peers and family express the same opinion. And I just keep focusing on the what if, what if what if?! You guys know how it is with OCD. In the last five years I have dealt with ROCD and POCD, which were also unpleasant but this is different because I’m literally worrying about my personality and character which as caused me to lose my sense of self.

Usually for my mock exams I revise a day before and I get an A and that’s usually bc I ran out of time! This time it’s the real thing and I don’t want to leave it up to chance that I won’t get my A, I’m supposed to be going Warwick and I need ABB.

Anyway, I’m at the state where I basically cannot revise bc during the revision session I just am overthinking and trying to combat my negative thoughts and it’s fighting an uphill battle. I know the key is to sit and ignore the thoughts but i genuinely feel emotionally paralysed.

And on top of this memory ocd is occurring and I keep getting worried that I won’t remember anything and then I find I actually can’t remember that specific content, for example I’m doing flashcards and I get anxious that I can’t remember what’s on the back of it (i definitely can I have done so in the past, long term memory is up to a life time and you just forget) and I just get upset that my brain isn’t functioning normally and then I don’t revise. And it’s so hard bc I want to show off in my exams but it feels like I’m learning how to think again

Any tips??