Image 1 — [Critique] Excerpt/Chapter 1 of Dance of Thieves [Low Fantasy, 900 words)
Image 2 — [Critique] Excerpt/Chapter 1 of Dance of Thieves [Low Fantasy, 900 words)

[Critique] Excerpt/Chapter 1 of Dance of Thieves [Low Fantasy, 900 words)

This is a story I started over a year ago then shelved. I've come back to it after some time and started polishing some of the earlier sections.

In particular looking for critiques on the prose and whether it has captured your interest enough to keep reading? Also any other things you as a reader/writer find worthy to call out. I think I have a tendency to bog down 'in-the-moment' scenes with some exposition, trying to get better at that.

(Also seems there is a character requirement for posting and I guess google doc characters don't count, so just typing some more text to reach the 600 character limit.)

u/dbsupersucks — 8 days ago

Is Furykov the key?

Don’t remember all the details but his ability lets him decipher someone’s Nen ability, though it requires him spending time with the target.

Could this let him figure out Tser’s ability?

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

Can you work for Emperor Eye, or are you born with it?

I lean towards the latter, but we did see Kuroko develop his own sort of Emperor Eye through hard work and team work. Also theoretically if someone is very analytical, they could study movements, players, habits etc and create a sort of prediction mechanism.

But idk. Also I’m asking for characters in the show, not real life lol

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

Why don’t Zeno and Silva have siblings?

You think they just happen to have never had any, or maybe a succession war type thing goes on where the head of the family eventually needs to eliminate the rest? Or they just go on to do different things?

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

Is this coincidence?

So against Kuroko’s friend the GoM scored 111-11.

Then later Kuroko joins Seirin and they beat each of the 5 GoM by 1 point, basically he reclaimed all those 1s.

Not sure if coincidental or not but kinda cool lol.

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

In person or online classes?

Hi folks, for context I am completely new to art and a local school nearby offers lessons, both in-person and online. Their introductory class is called Key Elements of Fine Arts and teaches the following:

  • Color mixing
  • Sketching alike
  • Shading
  • Perspective
  • Abstract and figurative composition
  • Drawing a human figure
  • Drawing a human face
  • Leading an artwork from thumbnails (compositional sketches) to final touches.

My situation is I could either take the online class starting in 2 weeks, or wait until December to take an in-person class. Which one do you think is better? I don't really want to wait until the end of the year, so I was hoping to just take this online, then in December I could take a more intermediate class in-person.

Both in-person and online are led by teachers. Any insight is appreciated, thanks!

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

Do you prefer Zone earlier in the series or later?

So my understanding of the Zone at the start was it’s a state of mind, when the athlete is absorbed in their play. It wasn’t really a transformation like Super Saiyan, more like a flow state, and even most prodigies couldn’t reliably access it.

We did see Aomine enter it “willingly,” but even the narrator said he’s an exception, moreover he entered pretty late in the game. When Kagami first entered Zone it was after trying to keep up with Aomine and then finally hitting a limit emotionally and physically, and even against Yosen he could only enter after he accepted his limits and got into the groove.

But later on, especially against Rakuzan and in Last Game it became a switch you can just turn on and off. It’s not even about getting into the flow of a game, just enter and exit when you please.

I still think it’s awesome, but kinda miss when it was more a “state of mind” and not necessarily controllable.

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u/dbsupersucks — 2 months ago

How to get Adam Levine tone?

My attempt at This Love, not sure how to get a brighter and sharper sound like Levine does. Will ask my teacher but wondering if others have tips.

u/dbsupersucks — 3 months ago

How strong would Zone Midorima be?

Sometimes I wonder if it would’ve been better to have made his shooting accuracy really high compared to everyone else (like 70-80%), but not 100% unless he’s in the Zone. Because if he’s in the Zone what extra benefit does he get? He’s already OP and can do full court shots even, where do you go from there lol

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u/dbsupersucks — 3 months ago
▲ 30 r/short

Why do some celebrities get targeted for being short while others don't?

One thing I find kinda interesting is some celebrities get roasted for being short and all people ever seem to talk about is their height (i.e. Kevin Hart, Tom Cruise), while others are short but rarely get a comment, like Jack Black or GRRM or even Ice Cube.

At first I thought it's just popularity, but even at the height of their popularity I can't recall say GRRM or Ice Cube being made fun of for height. Then I thought maybe it's a change with the times (since social media exacerbates everything), but I think there are still cases like Kit Harrington, Jon Stewart, Jeremy Allen, Jesse Eisenberg whose height is not brought up nearly as much as say Tom Holland or other actors.

Why do you think that is?

Edit: another example is Danny Devito, legendary actor, literally no one I’ve seen ever brings up or makes fun of his height.

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u/dbsupersucks — 3 months ago

Potential Kurapika/Chrollo Parallel

So it’s kinda obvious Kurapika/Chrollo have a lot of parallels, but one I’m starting to think of is how they both are/might be responsible for the end of a bloodline.

Chrollo massacred the Kurtas.

Kurapika will potentially end the Succession War, thereby ending the royal bloodline of Kakin for good.

Prob a reach but interesting to think about (imo).

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u/dbsupersucks — 4 months ago
▲ 13 r/singing

Realistic 6 month progress as a beginner

From very bad to less bad. Most singing progress videos I see already have good singing at the start, so wanted to share mine where I clearly have no natural talent or ability. Even then I think lessons are helping a lot though obviously I have much more to learn.

u/dbsupersucks — 4 months ago